It was just terrible that the fine print of free-checking accounts included language saying "We will charge you for overdrafting your account, loser," a sad fact easily divined by, for instance, overdrafting your account. So, consumer advocates, noble regulators, and other champions of the little guy came up with a genius solution: require banks to obtain letters from customers saying "Please charge me a lot of money when I write a bad check." The result?

Bank of America Corp. and other banks are preparing new fees on basic banking services as they try to replace revenue lost to regulatory rules, in a push that is expected to spell an end to free checking accounts for many Americans.

Hooray for progress! Back to the mattress!