Microsoft Spartan browser joke contest
Ars Technica (Peter Bright) reports that Microsoft's Windows 10 will have "a new browser codenamed Spartan." Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Provide us with Spartan-related gags, the greekier geekier the better.
Beware of Spartans bearing gifts? Go tell the Spartan, ___, that __? Will the browser have a minimalist interface? Will it be laconic? Can you do something with Bill Gates and Thermopylae? Heck, I'll even take Michigan State jokes, though I tend to prefer more classical material. Winners will get eternal glory.