Guns

Are You Experienced?

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Get it? John McCain's a dinosaur

Last week on Face The Nation, Wesley Clark said crashing a jet doesn't qualify John McCain to be the next president, and hawkish conservatives everywhere clawed at their breasts and howled "Traitor!"

Mark Hemingway at NRO's The Corner, who is one of the more relaxed members of the McCain cabal, didn't go so far as to defend the record of National Review's barely-breathing second-choice nominee, but he did passively entertain a fantasy of pushing Clark off the national stage and (presumably) on to a tuba player in the orchestra pit.

Clark is a little rough around the edges, but I agree with David Reese at the Huffington Post that standing idly by while McCain lists "crashed an expensive plane" on his resume would have a devastating trickle-down effect on potential appointees:

Riding on a rollercoaster and flying out of your seat but then landing on a waterslide and sliding down to into the water and almost drowning but then being rescued by an Elvis impersonator: QUALIFIES YOU TO BE SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR….

Getting really, really drunk at Thanksgiving and crying, "Why was I never good enough for you, Dad?" and then literally eating a banjo, and then saying, "Am I man enough NOW, Dad? Now that I've eaten my banjo– the one thing I loved, the one thing you could never understand?": QUALIFIES YOU TO BE CHAIRMAN OF THE FEDERAL RESERVE.

Read the rest of Reese's qualifications here. Peruse reason's McCain archive here.

Hat tip to my associates at The F*ck Squad and Bill Watterson.