Barack Obama

My Birthday Wish: Please Reverse Engineer Obama's Awful "Events Registry" By Sending Him Gifts, Not Cash

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Due to the privacy-eroding miracle of social media, various folks on Twitter, the Facebook, and elsewhere not only know today is my 49th birthday but have already wished me a happy happy (note to Wikipedia: you got my b-day wrong).

To the well-wishers, I say: Thanks!

You know what I would really love for a birthday present? A crowd-sourced reverse-engineering of Barack Obama's awful-beyond-words Event Registry, in which the sitting president asks his fans to forego giving gifts to loved ones and instead sending him money. Seriously: "Instead of another gift card you'll forget to use, ask your friends and family for something that will go a little further: a donation to Obama for America."

What's next—asking folks in hock to loan sharks to send at least the vig on what they owe to the Obama campaign? I'm sure your lenders will recognize a higher purpose when they see one. Didn't even the imprisoned mob capo Lucky Luciano help out the Allies back in World War II?

A few weeks back, I suggested "5 Great Gifts to Send Obama in Lieu of Cash Contributions," all of which I culled from a quick read of the SkyMall catalog. From the SkyTravel inflatable pillow to the Lawn Aerator Sandals, there's a ton of great gift ideas for the commander in chief who has everything, including a personal fundraising operation that has raised $274 million so far for re-election.

Obama's 51st birthday was just a few days back on August 4. I know when his birthday is because Michelle Obama sent me an email asking whether I'd sign Barack's birthday card. That request came just days after she sent me an Oscar Schindleresque email cadging for $3 toward her husband's re-election:

I know I don't want to wake up on November 7th wondering if I could have done more. So I'm doing everything I can between now and Election Day to make sure we can keep moving this country forward for four more years. 

We've only got a few more hours before an important fundraising deadline. Please support this campaign by giving $3 or more today.

So it's not too late to send the president a useless gift from SkyMall or elsewhere. For more great gift ideas, go here.