European Union

Water is Not Really Water, EU Planners Decide


As America drowns in deficits and debt, our elected leaders in Washington have been busy declaring a pizza a vegetable. And as Europe's economy crashes and burns, the European Union officials have concluded a three-year investigation and declared that water is not really water because it does not help combat dehydration. And any bottled water producer who claims otherwise will face two years in the slammer, reports the U.K's Telegraph:

The European Food Standards Authority (EFSA) held a meeting of 21 scientists in Parma, Italy, and concluded that "reduced water content in the body was a symptom of dehydration and not something that drinking water could subsequently control."

This puts the EFSA at odds with England's National Health Service where critics of the ruling are getting so red hot that they might have to call in the fire brigade to cool them down before they ignite, even though the EFSA has not yet ruled whether water has cooling properties. 

MEP Paul Nuttall pointed out that the ruling made laws banning bendy bananas and curved cucumbers look "positively sane."

Conservative MEP Roger Helmer called the EFSA's ruling stupidity writ large. "If ever there were an episode which demonstrates the folly of the great European project then this is it."

"I had to read this four or five times before I believed it," Helmer said. "It is a perfect example of what Brussels does best. Spend three years, with 20 separate pieces of correspondence before summoning 21 professors to Parma where they decide with great solemnity that drinking water cannot be sold as a way to combat dehydration."


But so long as we are into warning labels, how about making Europe's nanny state bureaurcats wear labels noting "dangerous for liberty and intelligent thought."

H/T: Harold Ames