You know, back in the '80s, when we were watching Lucas and delighting in the unexpectedly tender and nuanced script and acting, I think most of us would have bet that it would be Corey Haim who would be the drug-chugging, wife-threatening, whore-terrifying scandalmeister in the 21st century. And we would have been right about that.

But would we have been smart enough to double down on Charlie Sheen, a self-described "high-school dropout sitcom actor" who has (self-described!) p*wned Barack Obama regarding basic metallurgy as it relates to the (obvious!) Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld-engineered collapse of World Trade Center 7?

Once the highest-paid actor in TV and now jobless (welcome to the recession, Toots!), I guarantee you that Sheen's interview with "Info Wars" and Prison Planet" host Alex Jones above (just the first of three parts!) will entertain you more than anything Sheen has done since he walked out on that balcony during the original Wall Street and asked, "Who am I?"

Channeling the Dalai Lama, Sheen offers up an embarrassment of riches with koan-like bon mots including:

"Just like in baseball, the scoreboard never lies."

"You sir [President Obama] are a coward in a cheap suit."

"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."

"What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks." [Note: "Nails" is Lenny Dykstra, former baseball player famous for playing hard, dripping tobacco juice down the front of his face and jersey, and going bankrupt as an investment advisor.]

More wisdom here.

It's Friday, so this can qualify as a FFL (Friday Fun Link), but just to be clear, Sheen has a political dimension too. Among other insights, he dropped this one, too: "I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy."

Unlike his take regarding the 9/11 attacks, you know what? He might be on to something, and not just because Jefferson waited til his death to free virtually all of the very few of his slaves he deigned to free at all.