'We Do Not Advocate Attempting to Glue the Leader of the Free World to His Chair'

Jacob Sullum | July 17, 2009

Yesterday former Sen. Zell Miller (D-Ga.) told legislators at a meeting of the American Legislative Exchange Council in Atlanta that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel should put "Gorilla Glue" on the Oval Office desk chair because "our globe-trotting president needs to stop and take a break and quit gallivanting around." Today the Gorilla Glue Company, eager to seize a marketing opportunity, sent out this press release:

The Gorilla Glue Company Responds to Zell Miller's Recent Comments  

We Do Not Advocate Attempting to Glue the Leader of the Free World to His Chair

News Facts

In response to Zell Miller's recent comments, The Gorilla Glue Company sends letter to President Obama.

• The response was sent today from the desk of Peter Ragland, President, The Gorilla Glue Company.
• The Gorilla Glue Company does not advocate the gluing of President Obama to his chair with their product. 
• The quality adhesive products produced by the company are for the toughest building and repair jobs.
• Gorilla brand products are created with strength and toughness as the goal.
• The Gorilla Glue Company is a family owned business located in Cincinnati, Ohio. 
• Gorilla Glue represents just the type of growing small business that President Obama mentions as the job creators in our country. 
• Gorilla Glue continues to: create new jobs, boast of no lay-offs, provide healthcare for all full-time employees and proudly make all products in the USA.

Quotes

Attributed to Peter Ragland, President, The Gorilla Glue Company:

• Zell Miller's recent comments have thrust our product and company into the limelight. 
• While our products are known for being strong and tough we certainly would not advocate attempting to glue the Leader of the free world to his chair.

Note, by the way, that the Associated Press consulted a couple of black leaders (the Rev. Joseph Lowery and state Rep. Tyrone Brooks, head of the Georgia Association of Black Elected Officials), about whether the reference to "Gorilla Glue" should be deemed racially offensive. I'm hoping that was a joke.