Have You Heard the Good News About Iraq?
The U.S. Department of Agriculture demands its employees make sure they hype how great things are going in Iraq in every speech. The Washington Post's Al Kamen mocks them for it. An excerpt:
Let's say you're talking about U.S. agricultural productivity. Try this: "I'd like to take a moment to talk about a nation that is just now beginning to rebuild its own agricultural production.
"Iraq is part to the 'fertile crescent' of Mesopotamia," the sample script says. "It is there, in around 8,500 to 8,000 B.C., that mankind first domesticated wheat, there that agriculture was born. In recent years, however, the birthplace of farming has been in trouble."
Probably want to pause here and give the audience a chance to catch its breath.
The D.C. Agriculture boys could emulate SCTV's old "Farm Film Report" fellows, Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok, and report that at the very least, things in Iraq are "blowing up real good."