Nanny State

Amber Alerts and the Speed Bumps of Death

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Cracked.com—always contrarian, often verging on the libertarian—goes whole hog today, ripping into popular, well-intentioned safety laws that don't work.

They take on speed limits, three-strikes laws ("Gosh, it's almost like we shouldn't rely on sports analogies to build a criminal justice system"), Amber Alerts ("Few things are more dangerously retarded than people in large groups"), sex offender registries ("As it turns out, someone who is willing to abduct, rape and murder a child often isn't stopped by the fact that he'll get put on a 'registry' if he's caught."), and zero tolerance policies at schools.

The asides are often the best bits. Well, that and the stock photos of perfectly innocent yet skeezy looking men captioned as sex offenders:

By the way, even worse than speed limits are speed bumps, the irritating, jarring humps they put in parking lots and such, intended to physically force drivers to slow down and make their CD players skip. Not only do those things not prevent accidents, but they keep ambulances from getting to emergencies, which is exactly the sort of thing you don't want happening when years of bacon sundaes and cookie-dough sandwiches finally catch up with you. The above link references a study in Boulder, Colorado that found speed bumps kill as many as 85 people for every one life they save. Holy shit! We think landmines have a better ratio.

Via Jacob Grier