If Only Geo. Allen Had IM'ed a Male Page, He Could Really Relax Right About Now

Nick Gillespie | October 5, 2006

Pollster John Zogby reports that Sen. George Allen (R-Va.)--a fella who has nothing but bad press for the past month or so--is now leading Democratic challenger James Webb 48 percent to 37 percent, with 17 percent undecided. The Zogster has been following 10 tightly contested races and his website reports that "Allen is the only Republican in the 10 Senate races featured in the Reuters/Zogby poll to hold a double-digit lead."

Elsewhere in battles for the World's Least Distinguished Greatest Deliberative Body, Zogby finds that the Missouri and Tennessee races are too close to call and that Dems are in the driver's seat in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Maryland, Montana, and Rhode Island. Three of those wins, if they happen, would be pick-ups for the Dems. Zogby doesn't predict the Dems will take control over the Senate, contenting himself instead by spinning out one of the shittiest metaphors I've seen used recently in discussing politics:

There are way too many undecideds in these races, compared to a typical congressional election year. But given the political landscape, Democrats ought to be driving a truck through these roads of opportunity, but that's not the case just yet. The question is, will the Democrats reach the finish line in victory or will their truck run out of gas?

Hmm...what kind of truck? The sort that Timothy McVeigh drove? Or the original World Trade Center bombers? A good old-fashioned Amurican-made gas guzzler, now that gasoline is no longer $10 a gallon? Or a light pickup, symbolizing wiser use of resources? And what if the Dems reach the finish line in defeat? All tough questions.

More Zogby on Senate here.

When it comes to the House, Zogby says that Dems hold advantages in 11 of 15 races he's tracking (these are seats held by Republican incumbents). Ever the coy pollster, Zogby again refuses to predict but can't restrain himself from another shitty figure of speech, this one invoking Queen Elizabeth II (the one great beneficiary of the Sex Pistols' ire all those years ago):

In other races I am following closely, there are reasons to see Democrats ahead in other Republican districts, as well. No predictions yet because there are still many undecided voters, but Republicans can breathe a sigh of relief that the election was not held the past few days. These polls were taken during what Queen Elizabeth would describe as 'weekendus horribilis' for the Republicans.

More here.