From 1995 to 2005, comedian Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew Pinsky co-hosted Loveline, a radio call-in show that offered a snarky and scatological blend of medical and relationship advice. From 1999 to 2003, Carolla was one of the original hosts of Comedy Central’s The Man Show. Since 2009 he has hosted The Adam Carolla Show, one of the most popular podcasts on iTunes. He is also the author of a new book, In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks…and Other Complaints From an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy (Crown Archetype).
In September reason.tv producer Ted Balaker sat down with Carolla for a freewheeling, foul-mouthed conversation about taxes, gambling, and what’s wrong with the city of Los Angeles. For a longer video version of the interview, go to reason.tv.
Q: We did a documentary with Drew Carey about how he could fix his hometown of Cleveland. Do you think your hometown of L.A. is in worse shape than Cleveland?
A: Yes! It’s assholes and potholes.
We had Bryan Cranston [of the AMC series Breaking Bad] on the podcast a couple months back. I was driving him to the Burbank airport after we did the podcast. And on the way to the airport, I said, “Isn’t Breaking Bad supposed to be in Riverside, California?” And he said, “Yeah, I’m going to New Mexico.” And I said, “Well, why are you going to New Mexico to shoot a series that was originally supposed to take place in Riverside?” And he said, “Taxes, baby.”
They go to Prague if they have to shoot a movie. They go to Canada if they have to shoot a movie. They go to Louisiana or North Carolina or, in this case, New Mexico. Tim Robbins and all these other dillweeds say, “Hey, man, let’s tax the rich.” Why does every business just pack up and leave? You raise the taxes, people pack up and leave. You guys don’t understand that concept?
Q: Mayor Carolla unseats [L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa]. What do you do?
A: First thing I do is make it more business-friendly so that everybody doesn’t fucking pack up and leave. We’re Hollywood. And nobody shoots here. That’s kind of disgusting, isn’t it? All the studios are here. All the actors are here. All the hair stylists and everyone are here. And they all pack up and leave.
Q: What’s Mayor Carolla’s drug policy?
A: Do whatever the fuck you want to do whenever you wanna do it. And unless you harm somebody else or put them in jeopardy, fuck it. You want to smoke weed, you want to grow a pot plantation in your own house? Pay fucking taxes and do whatever you want. Start hurting somebody, then we come down on you.
Clear out the prisons with all this consensual crime shit, prostitution or drugs. I’m only looking for people that pose a threat. I want the cops to focus on crime instead of being little money collectors running around raping everyone’s wallet.
Q: Sounds like you might be a libertarian?
A: I just cherry-pick all the best stuff out of all the political parties. If that’s libertarian, then so be it. The more money you give to politicians, the less you get. I’d shut down the fuckin’ lottery.
Q: But legalize poker.
A: Yes! Of course! You wanna play fuckin’ 21, play 21! There’s this thing where it’s legal to play Pan and Pai Gow poker, but you can’t play 21. The lottery is the worst form of gambling, which is endorsed by the state. It supports the schools, right? Everyone gets behind that. “Eh, it’s all about the schools.” Are schools better now than they were 40 years ago?
Q: They’re not trying to make it better. They just want more money.
A: But does money work? Because I know all these assholes are going, “We gotta tax the rich more so that we can get more money.” For what? So that you can have another fucked-up school? For what? What are you gonna do with our money? All you do is fuckin’ waste it!