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Zero Tolerance: 2 Teens Face Expulsion, Jail for Fishing Knives, Advil in Their Cars

Charges could prevent one teen from joining the Marines, and the other teen from attending college.

Two Escondido, California, high school students—ages 16 and 18—could see their whole lives derailed because they committed the crime of keeping fishing supplies in cars they parked on school property.

The elder teen, Brandon Cappelletti, had three knives in his car: the remnants of a family fishing trip. The knives were used to cut lines and filet fish. The younger teen, Sam Serrato, had a pocketknife in his glove compartment. His father had left it there.

Both teens are facing expulsion. Cappelletti, a legal adult, could serve jail time if convicted of weapons charges, according to The San Diego Union-Tribune.

You might be wondering how administrators at San Pasqual High School even found out about the innocuous items. You might be wondering why the Escondido police became involved. You might also be wondering if the world has gone mad. I have answers to these questions, but you won’t like them.

The high school pays a company to search its campus for contraband using drug-sniffing dogs. On January 27, the dogs indicated Cappelletti’s vehicle—not because of the knives, but because he kept Advil in the car. It’s not clear how Serrato was caught (one news story claims he also had Advil, but his father disputed this). But the knives were discovered, the police were called, and both boys are in big trouble. According to the police report:

At the conclusion of the investigation, the [school resource officer] determined that both students were in violation of a misdemeanor crime by bringing the knives on school property.  The juvenile student’s case has been recommended for the Juvenile Diversion program.  The Juvenile Diversion program involves a collaborative effort to address various juvenile crimes without the case being heard through the formal juvenile court process.  The second student, Brandon Cappelletti is an adult and not eligible for the diversion program. Cappelletti was issued a misdemeanor citation and released at the school to his mother.

At this point, the criminal matter and school matter are two different things. The school district is deciding at a hearing today whether to increase their punishments from suspension—they have already been out of school for weeks—to expulsion. Such a harsh punishment would jeopardize Serrato’s future: he’s relying on athletic scholarships to attend college.

“If I end up getting expelled, I’d have to go to a community college,” he told The Union-Tribune. “It’s not what I really want to do. My whole life would change.”

Cappelletti has enlisted in the Marine Corp, so he’s more worried about the criminal charges, which could completely derail those plans. He did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Cappelletti and Serrato are not the first boys to run afoul of completely ridiculous school zero tolerance policies, which punish students for making innocent mistakes that harmed no one. Nor will they be the last—because the rules governing school safety protocols are insane and utterly disconnected from any real concerns about violence. Students who leave sharp objects in their car are not menaces to society, and irrational fear of knives—which have practical, non-lethal uses (i.e., fishing)—does no one any good.

Knives left in cars are not weapons. Advil is not an illicit substance. Cappelletti and Serrato are not criminals. They shouldn’t be expelled. They shouldn’t even be in trouble, period.

When it comes to safety, the American public school system—enabled by overzealous law enforcement and clueless state legislators—has completely lost its mind. I hope common sense prevails in this case. Quite often, it does not.

Photo Credit: |||

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  • Florida Man||

    Charges could prevent one teen from joining the Marines, and the other teen from attending college.

    Sounds like administration saved these boys from dying in some 3rd world shit hole and 6 figures of debt, respectively.

  • Just say Nikki||

    The latter is a case of possibly losing a scholarship, so not so much.

  • some guy||

    Yep. He's upset that he might have to go to Community College now. Sounds like he actually has his head on straight.

  • Florida Man||

    *gets in time machine, adds sarc tag*

  • some guy||

    We know what you meant. Just adding context for those who didn't RTFA.

    At this point I'm starting to think a time machine would be easier to implement than an edit button.

  • ||

    no need. almost everyone gets it.

  • Swiss Servator||

    Not the Worst - wouldn't miss a chance to worst.

  • Tommy_Grand||

    the usa is now a place where an 18 year old marine enlistee faces incarceration for storing a knife in his own car. the experiment with universal suffrage has run its course. time to hit restart

  • phenryinohio||

    the usa is now a place where an 18 year old marine enlistee faces incarceration for storing a knife in his own car. DEADSTOP. There fixed it. Marine, knife...its like their job.

    We are f..ked

  • Robert||

    Community colleges have programs for expelled students to finish HS?

  • ||

    I wonder what happens in boot camp now? When they issue you your weapon, do half the recruits drop into the fetal position and cry for a school administrator to come to their rescue?

    My poor Corps.

  • Zeb||

    I'm thinking that those people would never consider a career in the military.

  • Suicidy||

    Ok, can we please finally all get on the same page about exterminating the progressives once and for all?

  • Hamster of Doom||

    You might be wondering how administrators at San Pasqual High School even found out about the innocuous items. You might be wondering why the Escondido police became involved. You might also be wondering if the world has gone mad. I have answers to these questions, but you won’t like them.


    Admit it. Robby's hair wrote this one.

  • Robby's Hair||

    I was too busy making the world jealous.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    That's NOT OK!

  • ThomasD||

    That cop must be so proud of himself, being on the front lines defending civilization and all that...

  • mashed potatoes||

    I'm really becoming more and more a nihilist thanks to this site. Fuck everything. Have a pleasant Valentine's day weekend.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    I feel like my eyes have been opened to the appalling, deplorable, truth about the country I once so loved.

    A lot of that love did happen when I was in the public school system, go figure.

  • grrizzly||

    I'm afraid of Americans
    I'm afraid of the world
    I'm afraid I can't help it
    I'm afraid I can't

  • ||

    completely innocent mistakes

    I don't even see where a mistake was made, innocent or not.

  • Florida Man||

    I don't even see where a mistake was made

    Going to government school?

  • ||

    Well, yes, that.

    But bringing fishing tackle in your car to school? I must have done that dozens of times, and it wasn't a mistake. It was just that I liked to keep my tackle in the car so I wouldn't have to go home and root around for it when I wanted to hit Mamanasco Lake after school.

  • Florida Man||

    That's HAWT. Now I want to go fishing.

  • Florida Man||

    Also, I went to government school, cuz we didn't have no damn money and my mom didn't want the work of home skewl.

  • blcartwright||

    I used to have my hunting rifle in the car, with ammo in my coat pocket - and I wasn't the only one

  • some guy||

    I blame the parents.

  • Florida Man||

    How do I reach these Keedz!

  • ||

    Joking aside it is the parents .

    Few people relish the idea of attending school board meetings after a harried day at the office or a grueling one riding a bulldozer.

    But when parents leave it to those who do enjoy such activities or even make a living out of it this is the end result

  • WTF||

    Jesus, when I was in high school, we used to bring our shotguns and hunting gear in out cars during small game season so we could get in an hour or so of Pheasant hunting after school. Nobody worried or cared. And this was in New Jersey. When did the complete transformation into a nation of hysterical pussies happen?

  • ||

    no kidding. gun racks with shotguns because half a dozen of us would go duck hunting before school.

  • Chipwooder||

    Yup. Probably half the boys in my grade would go duck hunting before school, and it's not like I talking about the '50s here - I was in the class of 1994.

  • some guy||

    Pre-Columbine. That explains it. And I'm not kidding. I was in school during Columbine. The change was almost immediate and very noticeable.

  • ||

    ^This

    Our high school locker room was full in the morning of guys showering up after hunting before school.

    We left our guns out in the trunks of our cars. Probably 90% of us carried a pocket knife all the time.,

  • Zeb||

    I carried a pocket knife in school probably every day from age 8 or so.

  • Chipwooder||

    I used the key ring on one of my swiss army knives to attach it to the zipper of my backpack, so I always had it with me in case I needed it. Started doing that in 7th grade if I remember correctly.

  • Rhywun||

    When everyone our age grew up and started running the show. It is mystifying, isn't it.

  • WTF||

    Since most of the people my age that I know are not remotely hysterical pussies, yes it is.

  • some guy||

    How many of the people your age that you know aspired to positions of power in the public sector?

  • Rhywun||

    ^This

    It only takes a few to fuck with everyone.

  • WTF||

    I think some guy's Columbine explanation makes more sense than collectively blaming a random age cohort.

  • ||

    Yes and no. There was still an outcry from the adults at the time of Columbine--who were in school in the 80s and early 90s--that did not compare to that of previous generations. The amount of violence on campus has remained essentially steady for the last 30-40 years (and maybe even dropped slightly overall, to coincide with the national statistics of violent crimes dropping).

  • Suicidy||

    It's progressives. Just get rid of them. Permanently.

  • ||

    when I look at who from high school went on to work for the government and/or become police officers there is nothing mystifying at all. they are who we thought they were.

  • ||

    ^This. I remember those assholes very well.

    Like many here I carried a pocket knife from middle school on and had guns in my car. So did everyone else.

    I don't see this as pussies being hysterical but rather control freaks getting their freak on. What sane person with a conscience could do this to these guys?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    On January 27, the dogs indicated Cappelletti’s vehicle—not because of the knives, but because he kept Advil in the car.

    I have a doubt.

  • some guy||

    Yeah, who trains a dog to smell ibuprofen? What's the point? Dog probably smelled fish and got excited.

  • WTF||

    The handler probably wanted to search the cars anyway so the dog alerted to please the handler.

  • some guy||

    Dogs are very good at doing what they're told. They're probable cause machines.

  • WTF||

    Yup.

  • Slocum||

    Why would you assume the dog 'alerted' to anything at all? Isn't it more likely that the cops simply selected the cars they wanted to search and claimed that there was an alert? Even teaching a dog to alert in response to a signal from the cop is really way more trouble than necessary.

  • Eman||

    exactly. we really have no way of knowing if drug dogs do anything at all. police officers tend not to be the brightest bunch, to put it politely, but im sure even they do significantly better than chance guessing which cars/houses/people/packages have drugs on or in them. just an informed guess is not reasonable enough suspicion though, so walk a dog around and say he can magically detect drugs. i dont think you can prove this isnt happening, so it should be safe to assume it is..

  • Robert||

    If you make it illegal to have ibuprofen on school property, you train a dog to smell it.

  • Eman||

    if you make it illegal to have ibuprofen on school property, only criminals will have ibuprofen

  • Just say Nikki||

    The high school pays a company to search its campus for contraband using drug-sniffing dogs. On January 27, the dogs indicated Cappelletti’s vehicle—not because of the knives, but because he kept Advil in the car.

    If this were true, why would it be sufficient justification to search his car?

  • Lee G||

    I believe Clarence Thomas has the answer you're looking for.

  • ||

    Can a school act in loco parentis for a legal adult?

  • Jordan||

    Schools are Constitution-free zones, even more so than the country at large.

  • Irish ♥s ESB||

    And how on Earth does a private company have the right to search cars in the first place, especially without any kind of warrant?

  • DK||

    It's in that contract you implicitly signed when sending your tax money to the school.

  • Rational Exuberance||

    I thought Fauxcahontas was supposed to save me from such unconscionable contacts...

  • SugarFree||

    The kids probably sign a waiver to get a parking tag.

  • Irish ♥s ESB||

    Then that's another lesson: Never park at a school.

  • Just say Nikki||

    Pretty sure the better lesson is "never be at a school."

  • Florida Man||

    Then get swatted by the truancy officer? No thanks.

  • ||

    Haha I like this one.

  • Suicidy||

    No. It's "eradicate progressivekind".

  • R C Dean||

    If this were true, why would it be sufficient justification to search his car?

    What an excellent question. If the dog is trained to alert on Advil, then he's useless as a probably cause machine. If he isn't, and he alerted anyway, then he is too unreliable to be a probable cause machine.

  • JWW||

    I'm guessing its more likely the dog alerted on the smell of fish.

  • R C Dean||

    OK. If the dog alerts on food smells, he is too unreliable, etc.

  • Swiss Servator||

    Perfectly reliable...for the cops purposes.

  • The online me||

    You keep worrying about whether or not the dog is reliable. Those of us who work for this company will keep making sure every child is safe.

  • SimonD||

    ..except for the kids who have pocket knives in their cars (or Advil). or any of a thousand other stupid things...or bite their poptarts into the shape of a gun....etc....etc....etc. in other worse, every child will be safe, except for every fu**ing child.

  • SimonD||

    in other words too.

    *better start working on that time machine

  • Cyto||

    Yeah, I don't believe it for one second. There's no way a legitimate search animal is trained on ibuprofen, and any claim that this is what he alerted on is specious at best. By claiming this they deligitimize any claim of probable cause for the search. Any competent criminal defense attorney should be able to get the whole thing tossed. Unless the Thomas endorsed, chattel-based blanket search permission extends to parking lots.

  • ||

    The magical dog alert provides probable cause for cops to search...but employees of a private company? I don't think so. I can't think of any circumstances where employees of a private company, security company or not, can search without consent. The more I think about this story the more problems I see.

  • Eman||

    im sure people have to sign something before they leave cars there.

  • H. Protagonist||

    Public Schools are child abuse.

  • Ship of Theseus||

    What, public schooling?

  • Zeb||

    Raising your kids in the wrong religion is child abuse. Feeding them the wrong food is child abuse. Letting them handle firearms is child abuse. Letting them play video games is child abuse. Voting Republican is child abuse.

    Are you sure you want to join the people who like to pass judgement on how other people raise their kids?

  • H. Protagonist||

    Hmm, which of these is mandated by the state?

    In a more ideal world with school choice, parents could opt-in to schools with Zero Tolerance policies if they so chose. But instead, the vast majority are forced into it by the state. And the state, with its broad authority, lack of discretion, and FYTW, inevitably has to break a few eggs to make its delicious, compliant omelet.

  • Rational Exuberance||

    One thing is not like the others... Public Schools are not a voluntary choice after you have been compelled to pay for them.

  • Eman||

    i think the real danger of defining words down (that was accidental alliteration, but you're welcome) like that is once leaving your kid alone in the car for thirty seconds is "abuse", what the fuck is locking them in the basement without food or water for weeks on end or something?

  • Lee G||

    About 200 San Pasqual students, parents and teachers attended the Escondido Union High School District board meeting on Tuesday night urging the district to show leniency. Among them was San Pasqual football coach Tony Corley, who said he believes the zero-tolerance policy needs to be revisited.

    “There are rules and laws that the district has to follow, but this (situation) is unfortunate,” Corley said.

    “I’m willing to stick my neck out for these kids because they are the kind we want representing us in society,” he said. “They made an honest mistake. They will learn from it and I hope their lives won’t change because of an innocent mistake.”

    Wow, that's really sticking your neck out there coach....

  • Just say Nikki||

    What exactly are they supposed to learn from it anyway?

  • Lee G||

    The rules are the rules.

  • JWW||

    Well if only they had been using private email servers instead of fishing....

  • Irish ♥s ESB||

    Never trust authority.

  • Florida Man||

    No matter how hard you work or how honest you are, the government can fuck you up for No reason?

  • Swiss Servator||

    ^THIS^

  • Roger the Shrubber||

    FYTW

  • Mr Drew||

    +1 This is the real answer

  • Swiss Servator||

    ^ALSO THIS^

  • some guy||

    People who say they care about the children don't actually care about the children.

  • Robert||

    They're supposed to learn to plead for leniency. Seriously, that's what the coach is teaching. He's right.

  • Zeb||

    All of those 200 people should have threatened to quit and/or stop attending unless they dropped any further punishment. That's stilcking your neck out. And it could well work. If the laws and rules cause this to happen to some kids who did absolutely nothing wrong in any way, then they are no good.

  • Curtisls701||

    Unless this has changed, I believe schools take attendance because that is used in funding allocations. 200 students out means that school district ain't gettin' paid.

  • SimonD||

    I think there is a certain time in which they actually take the funding attendance (a week in September, maybe?)

  • R C Dean||

    They made an honest mistake.

    Sorry, I don't regard having fishing knives and Advil in your car as a mistake.

  • ||

    In fact, I insist that no car is prepared without a basic first aid kit, at least one knife, a fire starter, and tools to change a tire.

  • Zeb||

    No person is prepared without a knife and the means to start fire.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    Steel and fire, we spent tens of thousands of years getting to the point where steel and fire were commonplace. Now we are fighting to make them scarce.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    And I used to be into the survivalist camping thing (boy scouts etc.) And i am 100% confident that in most of the continental US i can make a shelter fire and get food if I just have a pocket knife...without one I am 10% or less certain.

  • Rational Exuberance||

    Hardly a new thing. If you're raising slaves, would you want them to have these things or know how to use them?

  • ||

    And a fire extinguisher.

  • Robert||

    I'm sure it is sticking his neck out, no sarc. Football coaches may not have the same contract protections as other teachers.

  • Just say Nikki||

    At this point, the criminal matter and school matter are two different things. The school district is deciding at a hearing today whether to increase their punishments from suspension—they have already been out of school for weeks—to expulsion. Such a harsh punishment would jeopardize Serrato’s future: he’s relying on athletic scholarships to attend college.

    Shouldn't we be hoping they avoid jail?

  • Ingimar||

    Similar story here. I received some key chains with tiny glock pistols. Gave them to the kids but had to tell them not to bring them to the school. Some mental midget would have a field day with that. What bothers me most is that all of these adults, professionals mind you, cannot use the rational center of their brain. In a larger context, that is what is happening - these morons cannot tell the sharks from the guppies.

  • Lee G||

    In a larger context, that is what is happening - these morons cannot tell the sharks from the guppies.

    It's more that they won't instead of can't. If they use judgement, they run the risk of being evaluated on that judgement. As with most bureaucrats, they are risk-averse.

  • Microaggressor||

    Following protocol = job security
    Deviating from protocol = job insecurity

    It's not so irrational when you take into account the incentives of bureaucracy. Incentives matter.

  • ||

    Hit the nail on the head.

    They don't want to deal with the parents of the fucknut. If you show any discretion, sure as shit the trouble maker's parents will be claiming that you are out to get their snow flake and some lawyer will be there to help them.

    The administrators don't want to fuck up their cushy job by telling some people to shape up. So they create an invioble set of rules and then refer to them when any issue comes up.

  • Rhywun||

    all of these adults, professionals mind you, cannot use the rational center of their brain

    Feature, not bug. Who wants a job where they have to think?

  • Chumby||

    Your kids' school full of 1911 snobs? /sarc

  • Ingimar||

    Similar story here. I received some key chains with tiny glock pistols. Gave them to the kids but had to tell them not to bring them to the school. Some mental midget would have a field day with that. What bothers me most is that all of these adults, professionals mind you, cannot use the rational center of their brain. In a larger context, that is what is happening - these morons cannot tell the sharks from the guppies.

  • Chipwooder||

    My kids are 5 and 7, and they love to run around the house playing cops and robbers armed with the venerable finger gun. I've had to warn them to never do that at school, and god love em my son looked at me like I was the dumbest guy on earth and said "Daddy, I don't have a real gun. I can't shoot people with my finger."

  • WTF||

    "Yes, son, but the adults at school are retarded and they can't discriminate between the two, so you must not upset them, or they might go into berzerker mode; come at you like a whirling dervish, all fists and elbows. You might be screaming "No, no, no" and all they hear is "Who wants cake?" Let me tell you something: They all do. They all want cake."

  • Just say Nikki||

    Well, you are willingly sending him to school, so I kind of don't blame him.

  • Florida Man||

    Who said he is willingly doing it. Not everyone can afford private school or have the time to home school their child. If you keep them out of school the goon squad arrest you. Reason (random number here) why I don't have kids.

  • Chipwooder||

    Yup. My wife's best friend homeschools and we thought about it - even went to a homeschooling convention - but we just can't do it. My salary alone isn't going to cut it unless we sell our house and move into a shack. We bought our house, which is tiny, specifically for the reason that it's in the best school district in the area. Could have bought a bigger, nicer house elsewhere for less money, but would have ended up with much worse schools. And so far, I haven't heard of any such inanities in these schools. However, given the climate at public schools in general, I feel compelled to offer extremely stupid advice like this....just in case.

  • Robert||

    How about unschooling?

  • ||

    I wonder if there are home school "pools" where participating families have to donate X hours a month? Or has the Total State made that sort of thing illegal?

  • Zeb||

    From what I can gather, that is a very common thing for homeschoolers.

  • Mr Drew||

    One of the reasons that I picked the school my little one is in, is that when I was previewing schools some of kids running around "shot" at me with there fingers while making noises. The teachers smiled apologetically and... nothing else happened

    8 g's a year and totally worth it.

  • Zeb||

    I think you are being overcautious there. Unless there is a real danger, let them learn the lesson that people are fucks, not that you have to tiptoe around idiots all the time. If you don't fight this shit, it will happen faster and worse.

  • Robert||

    The way you fight it is by arranging accidents covertly.

  • SimonD||

    Yeah but you want them to learn that lesson at a time where it won't negatively impact their entire lives (by having a weapons charge on their school records).

  • Mark6||

    Congrats Dad! Your son is smarter than the idiots running the schools!

  • Paulpemb||

    "Why don't we put him in charge!?!"

    /Pvt. Hudson off

  • Ship of Theseus||

    Yeah, because fuck these kids for doing something that's not the least bit immoral or dangerous. Anyone caught having something on government property that is deemed wrong should be banished from society, because FY. They should have known every stupid rule that our betters make. Fuck mens rea.

  • ||

    Me: Cool keychain, too bad he can't use it.
    Her: Why?
    Me: Look at it. Do you want him to get expelled?

    I've used PVC piping to protect fishing poles and for small waterproof storage containers while camping. For a project with our scouting den, we decided to help them each make one of these small kits with 1" PVC because I already had all the supplies on hand. I worked out the example piece and, when I got done, we had to decide whether or not what was made looked too pipe bomb-y or not. We decided to bring the resemblance to the parents' attention and leave it at that.

    If anybody comes around asking, I suppose I'll have to stick my neck out and say, "They will learn from it and I hope their lives won’t change because of an innocent mistake."

  • Rhywun||

    Is there some teen craze of Advil-huffing that I haven't heard about?

  • Robby's Hair||

    I will let you know if I get high from the handful of Advil I just shoved up my ass.

  • Some Engineer||

    ... the handful of Advil I just shoved up my ass

    FACT: It is no longer a "handful" of Advil.

  • Mrs. Premise||

    So drug-sniffing dogs now search for Advil? I call bullshit on that. Plus, Advil is available over-the-counter, and you do not need to show an ID to purchase. Why is it illegal to have them in your personal vehicle on school property?
    My daughter went to a Catholic, all-girls high school, and was expected to have a doctor's note to carry ibuprofen for cramps. I told her to keep them loose in her pocket and shove them down her throat in the ladies room. Even the parochial schools have bought into this madness.

  • Jordan||

    Given that drug sniffing dogs are even less reliable than a coin toss, it's more likely that the dog alerted for no reason at all.

  • WTF||

    The dog alerted for a reason; they always do. The reason being the handler really wants the dog to alert and the dog wants to please the handler.

  • ||

    + smell of (dead) fish/animal.

  • Lee G||

    DRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSS... NOT EVEN ONCE

    Even the most innocuous drugs can ruin your life. Advil is just a door-opener into a world of Excedrin and No-Doz.

  • WTF||

    It teaches kids the lesson that possession of even the most innocuous drug will cause the government to ruin your life.

  • Chumby||

    I thought it went from Advil to smoking Oxy.

  • some guy||

    The schools are just preparing them for the rigors of adult life in the land of the free and the home of the brave.

  • ||

    Pedophile Supreme Court Justice Thomas would like to have a work with you, and look in you panties.

  • ||

    Oddly enough "I call bullshit on that" was exactly the phrase that came to my mind too. Either...

    -Drug-sniffing dogs alert on Advil, in which case WTF, or
    -Drug-sniffing dogs alert on anything, and the Advil was just a post-hoc excuse.

    I am increasingly coming to believe that the use of "_____-sniffing dogs" is bullshit and should be disallowed for law-enforcement purposes and discouraged for most other purposes. You can't cross-examine the dog, so its evidentiary value is nil, and for the most part, they just serve to justify searching whatever or whoever the operator wants to search. I mean, the dogs in this case alerted on "drugs" because of Advil inside a bottle inside a vehicle, and that justifies some kind of search of the vehicle? Again, I call bullshit on that.

  • ||

    You can't cross-examine the dog, so its evidentiary value is nil, and for the most part, they just serve to justify searching whatever or whoever the operator wants to search.

    You can't cross-examine the dog verbally but that's no impediment to other witnesses in other cases;

    Can we get a lineup?

    Bag 1 contains a hot slice of pizza.
    Bag 2 contains a week-old dead rat.
    Bag 3 contains 1/2c of the dogs regular food.
    Bag 4 contains the contraband in question.

    If the dog alerts on anything besides Bag 4 his 'testimony' is tossed. There's even a case to be made for a bag that has advil stuffed inside a dead fish.

    Personally, I'm in favor of tossing the dogs testimony as it's neither impartial as a blind detection instrument, nor solely acting at the discretion of its rational grasp of any larger context. However, I think the impartiality could, conceivably, be demonstrated. Just as any speeding ticket can be/has been contested based on a radar detector's calibration.

    The dog can't testify not because it can't speak, but because it's a dog and would otherwise be regarded as legally insane/non-sequitur.

  • Robert||

    The active matter & inert material of such drugs isn't volatile enough to be sniffed, so dogs must be detecting smaller-molecule breakdown products. It's probably not even known what the breakdown products all are; the dogs are trained empirically. It's likely that many of their smell profiles overlap enough, esp. under different conditions of breakdown, to confuse a dog.

  • Harun||

    My daughter just keeps them in her lunch.

    We told her to be inconspicuous when taking it.

  • Jordan||

    Paging Jackass Ace to tell us how this is no big deal and everyone involved will just talk it out and go out for ice cream in the end.

  • Jackass Ace||

    This is no big deal and everyone involved will just talk it out and go out for ice cream in the end.

  • Jordan||

    Cool. At least you're consistently moronic.

  • Akira||

    I'm sure he'll be along shortly to tell us that because a private company was involved, this is a problem caused by capitalism and free markets and that the government is totally blameless.

  • Chipwooder||

    Even more enraging than these asinine policies are the mealy-mouthed comments made by the evil fools who enforce them: “providing for the education of all students in a safe environment is a top priority...”

    What a crock of shit.

  • Old Mexican Mighty Aggressor||

    Zero Tolerance: 2 Teens Face Expulsion, Jail for Fishing Knives, Advil in Their Cars

    They shouldn’t be expelled. They shouldn’t even be in trouble, period.


    Yes, they should. Of course they should.

    Just what is it about "Your Life Belongs To Us" don't you understand?

    /The State.

  • garland823||

    I don't think the dog told the handler "Hey man, I smell Advil in that car, you should search it." The dog probably hit on the Advil, handler searches the car for drugs and finds fishing tackle.

    Why on earth the dog was trained to hit on Advil is beyond me. I'm aware that they could have trained him to hit on cue so they could search whatever car they wanted, but you'd think they'd have searched other cars and found more contraband if that were the case.

  • WTF||

    Dogs are geniuses at reading human body language. They also really want to please their humans. So when the handler is really hoping that the dog alerts, the dog will alert. This poor handling is what makes the dogs unreliable, as a properly handled and trained dog can absolutely detect even a few molecules of a substance, but the handlers must be extremely disciplined with their attitudes and body language around the dog to avoid false positives. So of course most cops are shitty handlers, because there is no downside to false alerts, and they get to search a vehicle whenever they want to.

  • sarcasmic||

    So of course most cops are shitty handlers...

    That all depends on the point of view. If the job of a handler is to get an alert based upon what the dog actually smells, then yeah, they're shitty handlers. But if the job of a handler is to manufacture probable cause in order to create an excuse to fuck with someone they don't like, then cops are master handlers.

  • WTF||

    Well, yes.

  • ||

    a properly handled and trained dog can absolutely detect even a few molecules of a substance, but the handlers must be extremely disciplined with their attitudes and body language around the dog to avoid false positives.

    I think we need to get the FDA to certify these dogs as medical devices.

  • R C Dean||

    The dog probably hit on the Advil,

    If your contraband-detecting dog hits on Advil, you need a new dog, because Advil ain't contraband.

  • ||

    drug sniffing dogs and especially their handlers should be subject to regular Trial by Ordeal. "Behind these 5 doors are 4 maneating tigers pink slips and one bottle of Advil. Good luck."

  • Thrackmoor||

    I teach Chemistry and Physics in a public high school. The rules have gotten so bad that I can't let our precious snowflakes use certain chemicals and apparatus because they MIGHT be used as weapons of hurt someone. We can thank our legislators for taking away any discretion we might have as professionals when dealing with children. Heaven forbid I let someone use hydrochloric acid! They might swallow it, then they'll want sulfuric acid... next thing you know, they're strung out on concentrated nitric acid and calcium chloride, trading sexual favors for beakers.

  • space junk||

    This made me laugh.

    Do you teachers even get to let students use scalpels in biology class anymore for dissecting frogs and earthworms?

    When I graduated in the early '90s, we had all kinds of stuff in the science classes that these current school administrators might have a heart attack over.

  • Thrackmoor||

    We don't do dissections anymore in Biology, at least in Ohio.

  • spqr2008||

    Too bad that wasn't the case when I was in school. Our Frog dissections were in the old science wing of my junior high, which at the time, was not air conditioned, in early May. And we couldn't have the windows open because they were building the new science wing right next door to our classroom, and we couldn't hear, or keep the dust out of the dissected frogs if we had the windows open. Needless to say, two future doctors (yes, literally) vomited copiously because we had zero ventilation and so much formaldehyde. I can't imagine that was any less damaging to my lungs than smoking a few packs in short order.

  • Swiss Servator||

    "trading sexual favors for beakers"

    Muppet trafficking?!

    *runs*

  • Eeyore||

    I think we need to keep water away from kids as well. They might separate it into hydrogen and oxygen and make an improvised explosive. Little monsters need to get any drinking they are going to do done at home before they come to school.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    We blew up a chunk of Cs, shook the drop ceiling so much several panels fell.

    We did Thermite (outside) and I will never forget it. I shattered the crucible, liquefied the rebar the crucible was on. The heat was so intense 25 feet was way too close. It outshone the sun on a clear day on the wall.

    We electrolized and then filled balloons with the oxygen, hydrogen, and the perfect mix (I think it was 28%). Turned out lights then hit the balloons with matchs...the mixture match was taped to the end of a yard stick.

  • Thrackmoor||

    DHMO (dihydrogen monoxide) is the most dangerous chemical in the world. It causes thousands of deaths each year. It's so addictive that once you try it, you'll die without it!

  • Chumby||

    Water world we live in that doesn't ban this substance immediately!

  • ||

    Wait a minute! Talk about burying the lede:

    Police were called after the three knives were found in Cappelletti’s truck. In the driver’s side door, they also found a multi-tool that had a screwdriver, pliers and a tiny blade.

    That terrorist had a multitool!

  • WTF||

    He's clearly the Leatherman Killer!!11!!!!

  • Chipwooder||

    Why else would he need a knife, screwdriver, and pliers unless he were wiring bombs??

  • The online me||

    He is probably a "clock boy" copycat with this type of weaponry.

  • Curtisls701||

    Is that anything like a multipass?

  • Meriwether3||

    Every student, teacher and staff member who parked in the parking lot has committed the same crimes Tire irons are weapons, gasoline is a tool for arsonists. Road flares, socket wrenches, WD40, tire patching kits, all potential weapons, or drugs...I'm not sure anymore. Impound all the cars, arrest everyone who drove. If the school board holds it meetings on school property and board members parked on school grounds, they are guilty too. Send them all to the salt mines and let God sort them out.

  • buybuydandavis||

    The most obvious weapons are the cars.

  • kbolino||

    3/10 victims? what victims?

  • Mr Drew||

    My proposed response: The parents hire an actual attorney, NOT the dude who defended their brother-in-law from a DUI and sue the ass off the school, school system and school district. Basically, an "everyone standing" suit.

    The system created this environment where legal, innocuous circumstances have wreaked emotional harm on these kids and has potentially life-altering circumstances.

    Make the suit for, say, 300 million. Then when the shock has had time to set in, settle for an apology, dismissal of all actions and a change in policy.

    I hate most lawsuits but you gotta hit em where they live.

  • Mark6||

    If you settle for anything less than the 300 million, or maybe a wood chipper ride for the school board, you're not disincentivizing the behavior.

  • ||

    My law review comment--to be published in the next month or so--is on precisely this topic. My solution: Repeal the Gun Free Schools Act so that smart, case-by-case policies can be adopted.

  • ||

    We don't have "bank drafts" in this country, commie!'

  • dpbisme||

    Thank anyone who ever voted for a Democrat...

    I mean really, we hear from the Democrats all the time how the republicans are the "stupid Party" but rarely do Republicans in any State across the country try to permanently destroy peoples lives. They do not go out of their way to make EXAMPLES of those who are powerless.

    The examples are everywhere from guys who get misdirected on Planes to New Jersey who legally brought a weapon on the plane to the Tea Party Organizations, to people who own cake shops...

    Democrats us the government as a hammer against their enemies

    No rehab

  • ||

    More than just Democrats call the GOP the "stupid party". And they destroy people's lives each and every day.

  • dpbisme||

    Thank anyone who ever voted for a Democrat...

    I mean really, we hear from the Democrats all the time how the republicans are the "stupid Party" but rarely do Republicans in any State across the country try to permanently destroy peoples lives. They do not go out of their way to make EXAMPLES of those who are powerless.

    The examples are everywhere from guys who get misdirected on Planes to New Jersey who legally brought a weapon on the plane to the Tea Party Organizations, to people who own cake shops...

    Democrats us the government as a hammer against their enemies

    No rehab

  • nejodepusl||

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  • nejodepusl||

    cash right now... Get more time with your family by doing j0bs that only require for you to have a computer and an internet access and you can have that at your home. Start bringing up to $6694 a month. I've started this j0b and I've never been happier and now I am sharing it with you, so you can try it too......

    --- http://www.alpha-careers.com

  • buybuydandavis||

    "Knives left in cars are not weapons"

    For most people the car would be the more effective weapon.

  • buybuydandavis||

    Had Enough Yet?
    Vote Woodchipper 2016

  • Chumby||

    Chip "Chipper" Wood 2016

  • Curtisls701||

    Should either of these 2 go to trial, it sounds like a perfect time for jury nullification.

  • Sanjuro Tsubaki||

    Zero tolerance insanity comes from public school insanity. Why trust government employees with raising your kids?

  • Bulldog 6||

    https://www.facebook.com/ehscougars/

    Does it help to leave disparaging comments on the school's Facebook?

  • Lorenzo Zoil||

    I go on school properties with knives all the time. They're called tools and I use them to do my job. In fact it would be difficult to impossible to do my job without a number of tools that could be deemed weapons. But, in the way I use them, they are not weapons they are tools. It's stupid as hell not to consider context. But then legislators and teachers don't live in the real world.

  • Bgoptmst||

    The real story isn't kids having zero civil liberties at school; the real story is we have a Marine Corps that would DQ a kid because he had a knife in his car.

    That's the shit that concerns me.

  • Rational Exuberance||

    Advil is chemically completely different from illegal drugs. If the company claims their dogs alerted to it, they are obviously lying, or they are manipulating their dogs to alert on cue. They aren't even smart enough to recognize that "drug" isn't a meaningful category of things.

  • Goonions||

    Good grief! When I grew up we wouldn't be caught dead at school without a knife, in our pocket. Somebody tell me this is something out of the onion, correct? Now is when we need a good conservative lawyer to Pro Bono up and help these kids.

  • Cloudbuster||

    The high school pays a company to search its campus for contraband using drug-sniffing dogs.

    Like hell I'd unlock my car and allow a search on the command of a rent-a-cop and his dog.

  • ram1020||

    Our society is totally off the rails.

  • aprilbpennell||

    My mothers neighbour is working part time and averaging $9000 a month. I'm a single mum and just got my first paycheck for $6546! I still can't believe it. I tried it out cause I got really desperate and now I couldn't be happier. Heres what I do,

    ....................... http://www.richi8.com

  • ShellyStow||

    I well remember when I was teaching high school and several different times needed a knife for a legitimate purpose in the classroom---unsticking a drawer; cutting something for a bulletin board display, prying a broken heel off of my shoe, opening a stuck stapler---and I would say, "Guys, I need a knife," and a dozen pocketknives would be whipped out of blue jean pockets and offered to me. No one was hurt; no fights or riots were started; the school didn't fall down around us. I don't know exactly when that changed, but by the time I retired, totally insane "no-tolerance" rules were certainly one of the many reasons.

  • Hugo S. Cunningham||

    Congress can require Armed Forces recruiting to give fair consideration to applicants with a criminal conviction if the criminal charge is "patently idiotic", specifically citing this case as a controlling example.

  • spqr2008||

    Best one page bill ever. "In the case of an applicant for a military posting who has a criminal record, that applicant may still be considered for active duty if the charge in question is patently idiotic and would result in the unit CO b*tch slapping a fool."

  • Haybob||

    Thankfully common sense was brought into this situation, however it should have never gotten to this point. Another reason to avoid California.

    http://fox5sandiego.com/2016/0.....d-in-cars/

  • Steevie||

    Comments Review Section:

    I give these comments a score of 7/10. While many were entertaining, there were too many of the cliche variety. However, the comments from past and current educators brought real weight and relevancy. Overall, a very nice job, Commentariat.

  • Hank Phillips||

    In a popular 1920 political platform advocating government schools we find:
    "The school must impress an understanding of the State (civics) very early, at the very beginning of rational thought for the child." These young scofflaws have had the irrational coercive power of the political State firmly impressed on their minds. Fortunately, they will soon be eligible to register to vote libertarian if they decide these laws should be changed.

  • LifeStrategies||

    Somebody recently wondered where all the money spent on Education goes because, apparently, it doesn't go on teaching students the three Rs.

    It seems that much of it goes to set up, enforce, police and indoctrinate students about zero-tolerance policies such as saving a fellow student's life by loaning them a asthma inhaler, and knives are bad...

  • Jeff Hernandez||

    looool

  • Jeff Hernandez||

    looool

  • Nick W B||

    "Students who leave sharp objects in their car are not menaces to society, and irrational fear of knives—which have practical, non-lethal uses (i.e., fishing)—does no one any good."
    Tell that to the fish.

  • loricooper1236||

    just before I saw the bank draft that said $7985 , I have faith ...that...my friend woz trully making money in there spare time at there computar. . there uncle haz done this 4 only twenty months and just now repaid the mortgage on there mini mansion and bought a brand new Dodge . learn the facts here now......

    http://www.Wage90.com

  • Reverend Draco||

    “If I end up getting expelled, I’d have to go to a community college,” he told The Union-Tribune. “It’s not what I really want to do. My whole life would change.”

    Feature, not bug.

  • Dixon Sider Woodchipper||

    I used to work on an armored truck. One day, we ended up getting an ATM added to our route that was located inside of a high school. This ATM is located in a newly added section containing the cafeteria, so the ATM is easy to get to; just walk through the cafeteria to get at it. Anyway, my partner and I make our stop at the ATM once a week for about a month with no troubles or questions. Then, we show up one day and there happens to be a Sheriff's deputy in the cafeteria. He is quite surprised to see 2 armed men walking into the school, but was (surprisingly) rather calm about it. He told us we had to leave our guns outside. My partner and I both laughed, and said sure, just tell the bank that owns the ATM they will no longer be getting serviced at this location. Deputy tries to push the issue, so we leave without replenishing the ATM. 20 minutes later, we get called and are told to go back and fill the ATM. When we arrive, the principal meets us at the door with the deputy. Apparently, the bank wasn't happy that they couldn't have their ATM serviced and voiced their displeasure to the principal. Principal promptly called the deputy and asked him WTF he thought he was doing, because the bank that owns the ATM just happened to finance about 95% of the new cafeteria (along with a few other major renovations performed at the same time).

  • Dixon Sider Woodchipper||

    The deputy actually APOLOGIZES to us, and tells us he won't bother us again. The principal told us that if we had any further issues, to let him know and it will be taken care of.

    I'm not sure what, if anything, happened to the principal after making the deputy look foolish, but this anecdote at least somewhat softens the blow from stories like this CA one. Then again, my story happened in 2006, and a lot has changed in 10 years.

  • Uncle Jay||

    RE: Zero Tolerance: 2 Teens Face Expulsion, Jail for Fishing Knives, Advil in Their Cars

    Well of course they should be kicked out of school and go to prison for having knives and over-the-counter drugs.
    Don't these young miscreants know they should've had copies of "Das Kapital," and pictures of Stalin and Bernie Sanders in their possession instead?
    When will the younger generation ever learn?

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