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Malice and Martha

I'm no practitioner of Martha Stewart Living. My closet looks like it survived a massive earthquake and a subsequent rationing of hangers. My only experiments with horticulture take place on leftovers in the refrigerator. Those leftovers, more often then not, arrived at my house fully prepared, and frozen. You could say I'm not exactly devoted to household perfection.

So I admit it: I was gleeful when I heard that finally, this glue-gun-wielding contessa had run into trouble. I am a petty person with dusty bookshelves. I rationalize my rancor with the many stories of her cutthroat aggression (while noting that not many ruthless men in business are pilloried for being bitchy).

Stewart stands accused of insider trader for dumping well over $200,000 of stock in a drug company run, until very recently, by her friend Sam Waksal. The next day, the news hit that the FDA deep-sixed the company's potential goldmine drug, and the stock's value plummeted. Could it be that Martha's conversation with old Sam wasn't about gold-dipping pears for a solstice party? She denies she had inside info. Now her own company's stock has dropped 25 percent .

But frankly, in reading over the news, I'm forced to admit that if she had done the "noble" thing -- taken the hit, lost a lot of dough, and possibly turned her friend in -- I might dislike her even more. What's worse than someone who's perfectly coifed and perfectly principled, at the same time?

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