Greedy Companies Cause Global Warming

Not News: A senator blames a large corporation for global warming. News: It's Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) and he's blaming the Weather Channel.

Via Gristmill

Comments

Pi Guy | March 16, 2007, 11:33am | #

"What'll happen to the WeatherChannel's ratings when people aren't scared anymore?"

Well, they can still show the "After the Disaster" specials on the WeatherChannel.

OT: Suppose we asked the same thing about "The Eternal Word of Truth" channel. Hmmmm...

Mark Borok | March 16, 2007, 11:36am | #

And Darwin conceived the theory of evolution as a way to boost the ratings of the Discovery Channel, which he cleverly anticipated would come into existence around this time.

sage | March 16, 2007, 11:37am | #

global warming hype
they scare us to raise money
love my gas guzzler

Truth | March 16, 2007, 11:37am | #

Basically, 99.7% of the "Greenhouse effect" is NATURAL!!!
http://www.geocraft.com/WVFossils/greenhouse_data.html

Cab | March 16, 2007, 11:39am | #

nice haiku

Nick M. | March 16, 2007, 11:42am | #

I thought haikus wer 3-5-3 not 5-7-5.

de stijl | March 16, 2007, 11:44am | #

NIck M.,

No. You're thinking of Buddy Ryan's Chicago Bears (ca. 1984) defensive alignment scheme.

Tom | March 16, 2007, 11:45am | #

I hate liberals
Trashing Capitalism
and wearing Che shirts

David | March 16, 2007, 11:45am | #

I thought people only watched the weather channel to be scared by the snow forecasts, and maybe the occasion tornado documentary.

Buddy Ryan | March 16, 2007, 11:47am | #

Wasn't that a 4-5 alignment (more specifically, a 4-5-2 alignment)? I forget.

MikeP | March 16, 2007, 11:47am | #

Yeah. Global warming seems a little slow to make the weather channel exciting for the MTV generation.

Bhh | March 16, 2007, 11:47am | #

I thought it was common knowledge that the Weather Channel controls the weather to boost its ratings. Open your eyes people.

jimmydageek | March 16, 2007, 11:48am | #

I only watch the weather channel for their repeated play of "Twister"...

MikeP | March 16, 2007, 11:50am | #

Well, you know... Buddy Ryan originally wanted to have a 10-1 alignment. But then he was informed that Mike Ditka would be coaching from the sidelines and couldn't serve as the 1.

de stijl | March 16, 2007, 11:51am | #

MikeP,

Were those eleven tiny Ditkas?

jimmydageek | March 16, 2007, 11:52am | #

The Weather Channel
Plays "Twister" repeatedly.
Weather Channel Rocks!

Warren | March 16, 2007, 11:53am | #

What'll happen to the WeatherChannel's ratings when people aren't scared anymore?

Scared of what? The coming of the apocalypse, or having their festival rained out? Somehow I just don't see TWC getting much of a boost from the former. The latter is still going to tune in, global warming or no.

Then again, I never understood how TWC got paid for anyway. The only time I ever left it on during commercials was when they had some guy about to get blown away by a hurricane.

Great drama unfolding as the sky gets dark, the rain starts, the wind picks up, and eventually the poor bastard has his arms wrapped around a street lamp while cows are flying past. All for my entertainment! Even then, the all-news networks started putting their own poor bastards on the scene, and I flipped over on the breaks.

These days I use these here innerweb tubes for my weather prognostication.

de stijl | March 16, 2007, 11:55am | #

Tasty weather girls
Meterologists are hot
When they wear glasses

James | March 16, 2007, 11:57am | #

I've said a lot of terrible things about the Weather Channel but I cannot believe that even that locus of Evil would be melting all those glaciers just for ratings.

Do you all think there might be a religious component in all this? That the Christian fundamentalist view of a 6000-year-old unchanging Earth is threatened by the sight of receding snow cops on mountains?

Warren | March 16, 2007, 11:58am | #

The weather honeys
Pale by comparison to
Reason Pillow Girl

NotThatDavid | March 16, 2007, 12:00pm | #

Japanese haiku are 3-5-3. It gets expanded to 5-7-5 for Western languages because we have so much less mileage out of a syllable than they do.

de stijl | March 16, 2007, 12:02pm | #

Something about Inhofe claiming the The Weather Channel is pimping a false crisis to boost their ratings while on Fox News, strikes me as too precious for words.

MikeP | March 16, 2007, 12:03pm | #

Not News: A senator blames a large corporation for global warming. News: It's Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.) and he's blaming the Weather Channel.

To be fair, he is blaming a large corporation for global warming hype.

I still don't think global warming hype will make people tune into TWC. But I do find it amusing that the second stupidest class of policy motivators in the world interviews the first stupidest class as experts.

de stijl | March 16, 2007, 12:03pm | #

NotThatDavid,

Is the German haiku pattern 17-23-17?

thoreau | March 16, 2007, 12:05pm | #

Katherine, you've got the format all wrong. Let me show you how to do this:

Not news: Politician blaming large corporation for global warming.
News: It's Sen. James Inhofe.
Fark.com: He's blaming the Weather Channel.

Warren | March 16, 2007, 12:05pm | #

NotThatDavid has
His head up his ass, So says
Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

Cab | March 16, 2007, 12:06pm | #

the weather channel
is only slightly less wrong
than Lou Dobbs Tonight

David | March 16, 2007, 12:07pm | #

Is the German haiku pattern 17-23-17?

No, that's how you audible from a running play to a pass.

NotThatDavid | March 16, 2007, 12:07pm | #

I blame Easterbrook's
crappy football column for
misleading me, then.

Cab | March 16, 2007, 12:12pm | #

I won't be able
to stop talking like this for
the rest of the day

jimmydageek | March 16, 2007, 12:17pm | #

Thank God it's Friday
Must take break from Hit and Run
God Damn, Haiku's suck!

Guy Montag | March 16, 2007, 12:20pm | #

Tasty weather girls
Meterologists are hot
When they wear glasses

After meeting Katherine I wondered why she stopped modeling to do this. She would be a hot weatherwoman too!

Now, everybody stop picking on the Weather Channel. I need to sell Carbon Credits!

Oh, Katherine, you ought to see my hybrid. It has the coolest sound system. Goes all the way to 11!

vm | March 16, 2007, 12:21pm | #

"Haiku's suck"

what about the Haiku's suck? "Haiku's suck is orange"? the suck of haiku. the wrath of kahn. like that?

/kicks self

fun one for warren :)

drag balls over glass
but not on weather channel
drag over glacier

[keed keed]

pinko | March 16, 2007, 12:25pm | #

"Big" Weather Channel...
more retarded excuses
from Hummer humpers.

Guy Montag | March 16, 2007, 12:28pm | #

vm,

I think drag racing is a carbon negative sport.

VM | March 16, 2007, 12:29pm | #

Guy: cool! :)

jimmydageek | March 16, 2007, 12:31pm | #

VM...yes, the haiku's suck is orange...or, the haiku's suck is greater, if only marginally, than that of VM...:)

gd spell check thingy...;)

jimmy smith | March 16, 2007, 12:35pm | #

Well, I'm grateful for Global Warming, unlike some. I get to use that big box AC behind my house for something other than to put a cooler of beer on when I cut the grass. I didn't bust my butt for 50 years to suffer when the temps get to warm for my comfort. Bring it on!!! Turn that big AC down to about 65. I don't care who/what the cause is.

JLM | March 16, 2007, 12:38pm | #

Global warming is a vast Jim Cantori conspiracy to increase the number of hurricanes. You know that guy has a few women in every town on the East and Gulf coasts.

VM | March 16, 2007, 12:41pm | #

JDG:

lol!

agreed about marginal propensity to suck :)

sage | March 16, 2007, 12:41pm | #

what the hell is this
you guys are way off topic
stick with weather crap

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 12:44pm | #

the suck of haiku
is such an abstract topic
not good for reason

JohnD | March 16, 2007, 12:46pm | #

I'll beleive what the weather channel says about the future effects of global warming when they can get a 5 day forecast right

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 12:47pm | #

sage has gotten stuck
all his comments are haikus
bad end for the week

ed | March 16, 2007, 12:47pm | #

Here's a model to contemplate: warmer weather = expanded growing seasons = more photosynthesis = more carbon dioxide-eating vegetation = less CO2 in the atmosphere. Of course, we'll need more tractors to cut down all the vegetation, and many of us will fart after we eat it. So what will happen? Nobody knows. Am I worried? No. At least not about the heat.
All that farting, however...

jimmydageek | March 16, 2007, 12:48pm | #

Hurricane coming
Weather Channel says to leave
Shilling for big oil

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 12:49pm | #

sickness is spreading
i could do this all day long
somebody help me!

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 12:54pm | #

don't you understand?
there is no global warming
where is ron bailey?

Akira MacKenzie | March 16, 2007, 12:55pm | #

Clueless right winger
Knows not science from his ass
Evolution is fact too

violent_k | March 16, 2007, 12:56pm | #

I cannot help you
The disease has gone too far
I suggest we drink

Guy Montag | March 16, 2007, 12:56pm | #

I'll beleive what the weather channel says about the future effects of global warming when they can get a 5 day forecast right

Man, now you did it! We are going to be flooded by 'climatology' worshipers telling us how it is 'different' and comparing it to meterology is just 'dim'. Why? Because they say so!


ed,

Here's a model to contemplate: warmer weather = expanded growing seasons = more photosynthesis = more carbon dioxide-eating vegetation = less CO2 in the atmosphere. Of course, we'll need more tractors to cut down all the vegetation, and many of us will fart after we eat it. So what will happen? Nobody knows. Am I worried? No. At least not about the heat.
All that farting, however...

This is my favorite global warming model. (work safe) Of course, the AWG people are great in filling in Step Two :)

big oil | March 16, 2007, 1:01pm | #

silly 'mericans
all your base belong to us
as does ron bailey

ed | March 16, 2007, 1:13pm | #

Okay, I give in.
Haiku has captured me too.
I will die, I hope.

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 1:15pm | #

who is guy montag?
what do people think of him?
obnoxious blowhard

jimmydageek | March 16, 2007, 1:21pm | #

Guy montag no fun.
Spoils fun of haiku posters
with non haiku rant.

MadTom | March 16, 2007, 1:23pm | #

"Haiku's suck"

No apostrophe.
Plural is "haiku"; no S.
Where's my grammar gun?

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 1:24pm | #

i am sorry, guy
like shooting fish in barrels
such easy targets

jimmydageek | March 16, 2007, 1:29pm | #

thank you, dear mad tom
for pointing out my errors
give us dumb folk break

katsumi | March 16, 2007, 1:29pm | #

Haiku abuses
flom Gaijin telitoly
food not dericious

Shocked | March 16, 2007, 1:38pm | #

Shocked, I am, so shocked
Past Ron-Bailey-esque "mistakes"
Continue to ring

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 1:51pm | #

set aside one day
comment in only haiku
let's say march sixteenth

Stevo Darkly | March 16, 2007, 2:04pm | #

Global disaster!
Yet you talk football, weather babes?
Focus, guys, focus!

... on weather babes, sure!
(I pleasured myself to an
Incoming cold front)

VM | March 16, 2007, 2:06pm | #

yea Stevo is back
Master of teh Intertubes
His wit knows no bounds

Stevo Darkly | March 16, 2007, 2:12pm | #

Thank you, Mister Moose
And for alerting me to
This here haiku fest

set aside one day
comment in only haiku
let's say march sixteenth

Good thought, highnumber
-- and eat green sushi for a
Nice St. Haiku's Day!

STEPHEN THE GOLDBERGER | March 16, 2007, 2:17pm | #

For all that I know
The Super Bowl Shuffle crew
caused Global Warming

highnumber | March 16, 2007, 2:20pm | #

avoid green sushi
unless it's the wasabi
(really horseradish)

violent_k | March 16, 2007, 2:31pm | #

I think Guy has left
did not enjoy the haiku's
should we follow him?

crimethink | March 16, 2007, 2:34pm | #

Global warming seems a little slow to make the weather channel exciting for the MTV generation.

Strangely, I'm pretty sure the Weather Channel has more music these days than MTV...

VM | March 16, 2007, 2:36pm | #

violent k, look!
no apostrophe plural
read what MadTom wrote!

B.P. | March 16, 2007, 2:38pm | #

Superbowl Shuffle
sequestered carbon by
going to landfill

violent_k | March 16, 2007, 3:06pm | #

Hit post with much haste
before reading all comments
I need a damn life

VM | March 16, 2007, 3:18pm | #

Not at all VK
follow haiku-number's lead
have good Friday Fun!

The Real Bill | March 16, 2007, 3:35pm | #

I haven't written a haiku since sixth grade, and I'm not going to write one now. You guys keep it up, though; I'm busting a gut! (ROTFLMFAO)

Mad Mike | March 16, 2007, 4:05pm | #

OK, haiku fans, let's cut to the Weather Channel chase:

Stephanie Abrams
Kristina Abernathy
Sharon Resultan

haiku-number | March 16, 2007, 4:11pm | #

Mad Mike is genius
or watches too much tv
either way, good job

Akira MacKenzie | March 16, 2007, 7:07pm | #

Whoops... I miscounted, big time:

Clueless right winger
Knows not science from his ass
Darwin was right too

Jim Walsh | March 16, 2007, 7:25pm | #

Jeanetta Jones...WOW!
When she says "Raaaaaaaa-in" with that drawl,
South rises agin'

Sam-Hec | March 16, 2007, 10:54pm | #

Bunnies Don't Haiku

Armed and Hammered | March 17, 2007, 3:09am | #

What'll happen to (insert government agency here) when people aren't scared anymore?

apollos | March 17, 2007, 9:54pm | #

Not all Greens are red, but it's not just the color-blind that have trouble telling the difference. Check out http://www.4globalwarming.com

Genghis Kahn | March 18, 2007, 11:32am | #

cannot haiku,
all of you, hear me!
without zen

the real bill
wants to haiku, with-
out haiku-ing

hn, he wants
to fart, without farting
bloat bloat bloat

genghis kahn he
on road and miss whole
party so sorry