Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win?

on

Can anybody figure this out?

Writes the Comics Curmudgeon: "AOL-themed joke from 1998 + talking feces = desperate, desperate cry for help."

I tend to agree, but I'm not sure why.

Update: The Onion, of course, publishes Ziggy in Spanish, which makes it at least 15 percent funnier. Though I'm not sure why of that, either.

Comments

Citizen Nothing | May 14, 2008, 3:45pm | #

It's obviously from Mr. Hankey.

Marcvs | May 14, 2008, 3:47pm | #

Ziggy comics are like Zen koans, only they lead to madness rather than enlightenment.

Taktix® | May 14, 2008, 3:49pm | #

Steampunk desktop?

stephen the goldberger | May 14, 2008, 3:49pm | #

I believe its a comment on needless technological innovation, such as toilets that let you know you have email. It may be neat that its integrated with email, but its totally useless.

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 3:49pm | #

I don't get it. There's probably some obvious explanation that'll make me feel retarded, though.
To the best of my knowledge, poo is a poor conductor, so I can't imagine electronic messages being relayed via.

Homer Simpson | May 14, 2008, 3:50pm | #

Foul temptress! I bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too doddering too.

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 3:51pm | #

Thanks, stephen. Zigs left the seat up, I just noticed. Typical bachelor.

JLM | May 14, 2008, 3:54pm | #

I've often referred to taking a #2 as "sending a message to the governor", but the governor has never said anything back to me.......

joe | May 14, 2008, 3:55pm | #

So, the joke is that AOL is crap?

Mark Borok | May 14, 2008, 3:56pm | #

I'm with Stephen the Goldberger. It's an iToilet or e-toilet or something. The only problem is, between the time the strip was conceived and the time it was printed, the Japanese invented, manufactured and brought to market that exact gadget.

No, seriously. They are really into high tech toilets.
http://www.theplumber.com/japan.html

Ska | May 14, 2008, 3:57pm | #

First thing I thought was "Japanese toilet."

MP | May 14, 2008, 4:00pm | #

The only problem is, between the time the strip was conceived and the time it was printed, the Japanese invented, manufactured and brought to market that exact gadget.

The strip was printed Monday. Boy those Japs work fast.

John-David | May 14, 2008, 4:00pm | #

JLM,

Funny. From Deadspin I now use "negotiating the release of the chocolate hostages."

gmatts | May 14, 2008, 4:01pm | #

Isn't "Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win?" a line that Mr. Burns from The Simpsons says?

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 4:01pm | #

I like how Ziggy responds to the circumstances of the comic the exact way readers will respond to the comic itself. Makes me want to write a bullshit po-mo essay on layers of contextualization.

the innominate one | May 14, 2008, 4:02pm | #

quick poll:

which cartoonist is less funny, on average: the guy who draws Ziggy, or Chip Bok?

P Brooks | May 14, 2008, 4:05pm | #

Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win Not Totally Suck?

gmatts | May 14, 2008, 4:05pm | #

I think its the guy that draws Mallard Fillmore.

The Wine Commonsewer | May 14, 2008, 4:06pm | #

So, the joke is that AOL is crap?

Not a joke.

JW | May 14, 2008, 4:07pm | #

which cartoonist is less funny, on average: the guy who draws Ziggy, or Chip Bok?

Bill Griffith, definitely. Wait, you said Ziggy?

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 4:07pm | #

which cartoonist is less funny, on average: the guy who draws Ziggy

I've never once to my recollection laughed at Ziggy or Marmaduke. It's funny, because to me Ziggy is the exact opposite of "The Far Side". "The Far Side" was more complex and yet one laughed more regularly and never got the impression that Gary Larson was about to commit suicide.

The Wine Commonsewer | May 14, 2008, 4:08pm | #

That was my email inbox at my old TAXMAN email address just before it was spammed out of existence in the space of two weeks.

I'm a firm believer that the delete key looms large but when you get hundreds of spams a day, well, then you pull the plug. Or maybe you flush the toilet. I don't know.

mattcid | May 14, 2008, 4:10pm | #

AOL stock in the crapper?

Bramblyspam | May 14, 2008, 4:14pm | #

Heh, I had no trouble getting that one. Most of the e-mail I get belongs... well, the pic tells you where it belongs. And I just can't get rid of it. It forces me to deal with it, even when I know it's all crap.

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 4:14pm | #

This gives me an idea. If I ever get syndicated, I'm going to start drawing random stuff, leading people to come up with multiple interpretations. It will only be weeks later that they discover I was pulling some sort of Dadaist thought experiment and there was no explicit meaning to my work.

Daring move by Tom Wilson.

gorgonzola's foil | May 14, 2008, 4:15pm | #

Fred Basset.

Paul | May 14, 2008, 4:19pm | #

I believe that this refers to an old Google April Fool joke. Google was offering internet access through the sewer lines and you connected via your toilet.

http://www.google.com/tisp/

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 4:20pm | #

Ziggy comics are like Zen koans, only they lead to madness rather than enlightenment.

So Wilson is Duchamp, an evil zen master and Rorschach all rolled into one.

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 4:24pm | #

It will only be weeks later that they discover I was pulling some sort of Dadaist thought experiment and there was no explicit meaning to my work.

I apologize. I forgot that the New Yorker had already been publishing such cartoons for years.

joe | May 14, 2008, 4:26pm | #

Marmaduke, Fred Basset, or Howard Huge?

Category: sucking.

Pax Hammericana | May 14, 2008, 4:26pm | #

I just had one of my bathroom epiphaneis, wherein I realized that the correct Homer Simpson quote referenced above is as follows:

"Foul temptress -- she probably thinks Ziggy has gotten too preachy, too."

eric | May 14, 2008, 4:29pm | #

For all the Marmaduke haters: marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com.

Episiarch | May 14, 2008, 4:30pm | #

Bill Griffith, definitely. Wait, you said Ziggy?

You bastard, you beat me too it. Zippy the Pinhead is possibly the worst cartoon I have ever had the misfortune to cast my eyes upon. It manages to be surreal yet incredibly stupid and completely unfunny or profound all at the same time. It's like being on an acid trip and watching Howard's End.

Warren | May 14, 2008, 4:39pm | #

gmatts | May 14, 2008, 4:01pm | #
Isn't "Oh, Ziggy, Will You Ever Win?" a line that Mr. Burns from The Simpsons says?

Yes it is, it's from "Brush With Greatness" the Best Simpsons Episode Ever! Which also contains the Best Simposns Line Ever!

Lisa: While I know first hand how fragile young talent can be, I'd love to hear the particulars of how your gift was squashed.

kcjerith | May 14, 2008, 4:42pm | #

Nothing is less funny than family circus. Even kittens being run over my a lawn mower are funnier (though I should should be careful saying on this website, I am sure there are a few who think that would be a riot). :)

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 4:47pm | #

I love these things, though.

Uncle Lumpy | May 14, 2008, 4:51pm | #

kcjerith --

But Family Circus is all about kittens being run over by lawn mowers.

And yeah, it's a riot.

Ayn_Randian | May 14, 2008, 4:51pm | #

Marmaduke, Fred Basset, or Howard Huge?

Category: sucking.

Uhh, Family Circus FTW in this category.

JW | May 14, 2008, 4:59pm | #

My kids love Lio

I have somewhat warped children. Then again, maybe not. My 7-year old already thinks Family Circus sucks.

JW | May 14, 2008, 5:02pm | #

You bastard, you beat me too it. Zippy the Pinhead is possibly the worst cartoon I have ever had the misfortune to cast my eyes upon.

Yet, papers are swamped with protests every time one pulls it. I chalk the protests up to performance art; they can't be serious.

mediageek | May 14, 2008, 5:03pm | #

Much like network tv or big-budget Hollywood movies, the newspaper funnies have been completely and utterly upset and surpassed by far more witty and intelligent people creating superior content for less money.

I'll take any randomly picked strip from Something Positive or Wondermark over an entire year's worth of pretty much anything in the newspaper.

Citizen Nothing | May 14, 2008, 5:11pm | #

A reader survey done a couple years back at my newspaper found Family Circus was readers' favorite "comic." Tells you something about today's newspaper readership, I suppose...

Citizen Nothing | May 14, 2008, 5:24pm | #

Those of you who haven't discovered Disfunctional Family Circus, try this for fun:
http://dfc.furr.org/

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 5:24pm | #

I will say I think there are very few people who both like "Family Circus" and enjoy "Adult Swim". I suspect that Family Circus' audience is the 50+ crowd; it's tough to enjoy that pap if you have an even slightly irreverent or "edgy" sense of humor.

I'm a little worried that some peoples' sense of humor is so dull that they enjoy "Marmaduke" and "Family Circus", but it clearly takes all kinds...

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 5:30pm | #

Heh. "Wondermark" is fecking awesome.

robc | May 14, 2008, 5:41pm | #

Order of the Stick is the only comic I "regularly" read. With OOTS, you have to put regularly in quotes.

James Anderson Merritt | May 14, 2008, 5:49pm | #

I agree with Stephen: The idea that everything has to be connected to the internet and provide multiple internet functions along with whatever it started out to be in the first place is, well, just crap.

RE Zippy: I would love a lapel button with Zippy saying "Are we having mail yet?"

Nephilium | May 14, 2008, 5:51pm | #

I'll agree with Something Positive... one of my personal favorites... I'd also throw in the Book of Biff and Ctrl-Alt-Del as well.

Nephilium

R C Dean | May 14, 2008, 6:17pm | #

My euphemism for taking a crap is "downloading a file." I guess if the toilet backs up, "you've got mail" is kinda in the ballpark.

Daze | May 14, 2008, 6:20pm | #

Not funny, but still funnier than most of H&R's "Friday Funnies".

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 6:23pm | #

I always liked Red Meat .

J sub D | May 14, 2008, 6:50pm | #

Ziggy = Sucky

Questions?

Neu Mejican | May 14, 2008, 7:05pm | #

I think it is just a typo...

It is supposed to read:

"You have e-coli"

Poop diagnosis from your toilet will be here sooner than your hydrogen car.

James Anderson Merritt | May 14, 2008, 7:13pm | #

Just saw something over at CNET: "Gates: Every surface to be a computer." Maybe Ziggy was anticipating Bill's keynote speech at the CEO Summit this morning. Or maybe Bill got the idea from Ziggy! Stranger things have happened, and even faster, too!

James Anderson Merritt | May 14, 2008, 7:18pm | #

# Neu Mejican | May 14, 2008, 7:05pm | #

# Poop diagnosis from your toilet will be
# here sooner than your hydrogen car.

Not to worry. I want a battery EV anyway. Toilet analysis (pun recognized, but not intended) and diagnosis sounds like a great technological movement (pun intended, but barely recognizable) in the making.

Neu Mejican | May 14, 2008, 7:33pm | #

Fortune telling toilets?

http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Poop_20Fortune_20Teller_20Toilet

Neu Mejican | May 14, 2008, 7:35pm | #

It's already here...

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/06/28/spark.toilet/index.html

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 7:44pm | #

Hmm...maybe Ziggy is more prescient than it seems upon initial perusal, but its relevance is masked by its greeting card-bland illustration style.

I guess if Ziggy were a real person, he'd look like a midget Karl Malden.

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 7:45pm | #

The cartoon would've been funnier had the toilet sad, "Get thee to an apothecary."

NoStar | May 14, 2008, 7:46pm | #

Worst comic strip?

Am I the only one here to have suffered from Patrick McDonnell's Mutts?

Not only is the writing more inane and schmaltzy than Family Circus, but the drawing makes Bill Griffith's work look inspired.

Shirt | May 14, 2008, 8:38pm | #

re Art-P.O.G.@3:51: "Thanks, stephen. Zigs left the seat up, I just noticed. Typical bachelor."

Not sure what you're looking at. The toilet cover is up but the seat is down, not up.

Plant Immigration Rights Supporter | May 14, 2008, 8:42pm | #

Worst Comic Strip?

Gotta be the Chick Tracks. Some are SOOO bad they are funny.

But the parodies are the best.

Like this one:
http://www.fredvanlente.com/downloads/WhyWeHere.pdf

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 8:45pm | #

@Shirt. Mea culpa. You're right. Still, many women seem to want their guests to drop the cover along with the seat. But the fact that the cover's up and the seat's down does seem to support the hypothesis that Ziggy just took a dump.

Art-P.O.G. | May 14, 2008, 8:50pm | #

Gotta be the Chick Tracks. Some are SOOO bad they are funny.

Even though I don't agree with the theology for the most part, they are better than Marmaduke/Ziggy. 1) The art's better 2)I, like you, have laughed more times at a Chick's Track than I have at Marmaduke and 3) No matter how much I disagree with the religious dogma, Chick's Tracks are still better-written than Marmaduke.

JW | May 14, 2008, 8:55pm | #

I miss Bill Watterson.

Shirt | May 14, 2008, 8:58pm | #

re: Art-P.O.G@8:45

Actually, if everyone put the cover down after using the toilet, the alleged toilet seat gender war wouldn't exist.

Honestly though, every person, whether male or female, usually has to reconfigure the toilet seat in order to use it. For females to insist it must always be left configured for them is sure some brazen arrogance.

Plant Immigration Rights Supporter | May 14, 2008, 9:20pm | #

Art-P.O.G., Chick tracts are good in the way Ed Wood films are good, not in a way that would flatter the artist. When I laugh at a Chick tract it is not in a manner the artist intended. Chick wants to convert me. That goal has not been accomplished.

Plant Immigration Rights Supporter | May 14, 2008, 9:37pm | #

Perhaps I find Chick tracts funny due to Poe's Law.

Art-P.O.G. | May 15, 2008, 6:18am | #

For intended awful hilarity, it's hard to top the 'Political cartoons' in "The Onion".

ed | May 15, 2008, 10:46am | #

Anyone who's had the misfortune of using AOL or the greater misfortune of seeing the movie knows the correct verbiage is, "You've got mail."

Chris Potter | May 15, 2008, 11:37am | #

I think "You have pinworms" would be more useful.

Bramblyspam | May 15, 2008, 11:46am | #

How about "Want to buy Viagra?" :-)

Chris Potter | May 15, 2008, 11:56am | #

But then the toilet would have to know if he had a "grower" or a "shower".

Franklin Harris | May 15, 2008, 3:25pm | #

Lio is currently the best newspaper strip in the U.S.

Art-P.O.G. | May 15, 2008, 3:35pm | #

'Lio' is certainly one of the best. I also like 'The Boondocks'.

The all-timers have mostly already been mentioned; 'Peanuts', 'Calvin & Hobbes', 'Foxtrot', 'The Far Side'.