New at Reason
Maybe you've seen them on Ebay: Super-realistic, super-expensive fake babies for the cuddle-deprived. Greg Beato finds out where they're coming from, and why.
Comments to "New at Reason":
DADIODADDY | March 14, 2008, 12:07pm | #
Cabbage Patch Kids...back from the dead.| March 14, 2008, 12:14pm | #
wtf? just have a real baby, it's easier, more fun, and much less creepy!Mike Laursen | March 14, 2008, 12:14pm | #
I can't wait until some of these artists enter their abstractionist phase.This is really creepy. Dangerous? No. Something to worry about? NO. But it is still really creepy.
My thoughts on this matter immediately went to the gutter. Why is that? Snarky comments about pedophiles and blow up dolls fill my head. Is there something wrong?
D.A. Ridgely | March 14, 2008, 12:18pm | #
Mr. Beato writes:Clearly, the future belongs to more convenient, customizable, obligation-free companions.
At least that's what Eliot Spitzer thought.
tarran | March 14, 2008, 12:18pm | #
Just wait until some one tries to sell a child-like real-doll variant to pedophiles.Now that would spark an interesting debate!
highnumber | March 14, 2008, 12:20pm | #
Wow. I want one. Leave it visible in your locked-up car on hot days. Take it for walks in the stroller, occasionally picking it up to violently shake it when people are around. Go out to eat with it, take it into the bathroom and leave it on the changing table. What fun I could have!J sub D | March 14, 2008, 12:21pm | #
Paraphrasing Robert Heinlien here.I once knew a man who collected small pieces of paper that were used for postage. He would lock himself into his stateroom to examine them for hours.
I knew another who did the same thing with women's undergarments.
Was one crazy? Both? Neither?
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 12:32pm | #
11 comments without linking this to illegal immigrants?You guys are really slacking today.
highnumber | March 14, 2008, 12:32pm | #
Bring it to strip clubs, casinos. Make out with it at libraries.Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 12:33pm | #
Use it to pick up chicks at Starbucks or at The Wal*Mart!D.A. Ridgely | March 14, 2008, 12:36pm | #
Just wait until some one tries to sell a child-like real-doll variant to pedophiles.Clearly, just like in the case of child porno laws being interpreted to apply to cases where no real children were ever involved, there will have to be new federal laws to protect against trafficking in faux children and, at the state and local level, new faux-child protective services.
It takes a phony village to protect a faux child.
Kwix | March 14, 2008, 12:37pm | #
Well, at least it's more interesting, if somewhat more expensive, than your average Lee Middleton Doll.There is a story in Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk about a woman that works at a social services office and replaces the old "where did he touch you doll" with a real kid doll from Russia without knowing what it was. The staff begin checking it out every night. It's a great story.
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 12:43pm | #
Better yet (than linking to illegal immigrants), how long until the Feministas link the dolls to the abuse of womyn by men?D.A. Ridgely | March 14, 2008, 12:45pm | #
highnumber, don't forget dangling it outside hotel windows.highnumber | March 14, 2008, 12:45pm | #
Beautiful!Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 12:46pm | #
Tease alligators with them?Tonio | March 14, 2008, 12:47pm | #
This makes me sad.People are becoming increasingly self-centered and seeking of one-sided, fake relationships. I see a disturbing connection between these people, and the people who want to rent a housepet.
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 12:48pm | #
Tonio,Self centered, one sided relationshaps can be quite satisfying. Never thought of renting a housepet, but recent events have gotten me thinking about renting a girlfriend.
Elliot Spitzer | March 14, 2008, 12:59pm | #
"Self centered, one sided relationshaps can be quite satisfying. Never thought of renting a housepet, but recent events have gotten me thinking about renting a girlfriend."
Be careful about that....
Episiarch | March 14, 2008, 1:00pm | #
Take it to the range, while other people are there, and shoot it.Put it behind your car, and when your neighbors are watching, back up.
Let your dog play with it.
Jackass did riding bike with baby and crashing, and flipping the baby out of the stroller.
Tonio | March 14, 2008, 1:01pm | #
GM,Girlfriend, or "girlfriend?"
If girlfriend, then disturbing. If pay-per-service "girlfriend" then not disturbing.
Prostituion would be so much less degrading if legal. Suspect that many guys would develop relationships (definitely small "r") with their service providers, in the same way we do with our favorite haircutters, waitresses and other providers of personal services.
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 1:02pm | #
ES,Yea, I need to take trips to Nevada instead of having girlfriends delivered to me on the east coast.
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 1:05pm | #
Tonio,You seem quite easily disturbed by the freedoms and desires of total strangers. But, your over sensitivity is your business, not mine. Far be it from me to tell you that you can't get your guts in a knot over things so far removed.
Cracker's Boy | March 14, 2008, 1:06pm | #
Be practical people. Put it in a childseat and use it to drive in the HOV lane.CB
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 1:07pm | #
CB,Brilliant!
Then leave it on the roof when you get in town.
shecky | March 14, 2008, 1:17pm | #
Those dolls are pretty weird, but they're outdone by these mutants:http://www.boingboing.net/2008/03/03/unusual-realistic-ba.html
http://www.puddleducknurserybabies.com/Sculpts.html
http://www.newbornnest.com/ChimpNestFiles/index.html
http://www.newbornnest.com/ChimpNestFiles/Lolavinyl2.jpg
sage | March 14, 2008, 1:31pm | #
Fake babies, what gives?The next thing you know they will
Require health care
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 1:35pm | #
sage,Perhaps that family leave act can apply, combined with those unemployment insurance surpluses, to pay for fake-family leave?
You know, since the feds only use fiat money and all . . .
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 1:40pm | #
From the article:HA! A fake girlfriend is such a bargain compared to these things!
The rarest specimens fuel high-stakes eBay bidding wars that can reach upwards of $5000.
highnumber | March 14, 2008, 1:40pm | #
Use it to start fires.Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 1:48pm | #
Demonstrate waterboarding with it, in front of a bunch of raging, war protesting, hippie pacifists.Note: make sure they have run out of rocks when they are done trashing the retail areas on their march against hate.
Tonio | March 14, 2008, 2:19pm | #
GM,You seem quite easily disturbed by the freedoms and desires of total strangers. But, your over sensitivity is your business, not mine. Far be it from me to tell you that you can't get your guts in a knot over things so far removed.
Well, by publicly commenting on it, you have indeed made it your business, despite your strenuous but ineffective claims to the contrary.
The whole purpose of H&R is to stress over things far removed from most of the readers.
I just love how the Google ad is for a baby Einstein CD. Well conceived irony.
The Real Bill | March 14, 2008, 2:31pm | #
People can be such freaks. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 2:33pm | #
Tonio,So, how long until you organize a call for federal intervention?
Not Eric Dondero-Rittberg | March 14, 2008, 2:42pm | #
Here's one for you, boston.BREAKING NEWS!!11!! from Libertarian Republican blogspot:
President George W. Bush has appointed more libertarians in his administration than any other previous US President in modern history. He has also taken principled libertarian stances on issues ranging from social security privatization, to tax cuts, to fierce opposition to any proposals for a return to the military draft.
Jigga wha....?
But wait! It gets better! From the comments section:
Eric Dondero said...
Bullshit Jeff. BULLSHIT!
There is just as much libertarianism in the Patriot Act, as parts that are cause for concern.
I DON'T WANT SOME GODDAMNED Radical Islamic student who has overstayed their Visa, and is here in this country illegally, having the ability to go to MY LOCAL LIBRARY THAT I (!!!) PAY FOR WITH MY TAX DOLLARS, to look up plans for building a dirty bomb.
The Patriot Act goes after such illegal activity. And protecting life, liberty and property of AMERICANS from foreign invaders is ABOUT AS LIBERTARIAN AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY GET!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, leftists like you who have come into our libertarian movement through infiltration tacticst fully funded by the likes of George Soros to turn out movement into a far leftists Anti-American front group, wouldn't see it that way.
I've got just a few words for you Stefan:
You and your fellow infiltrators will destroy my beloved libertarian movement with your anti-Americanism OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Bwahahahahahaha! All hail UCG!
To sum up:
"GWB is a Mainstream Libertarian Republican!!11!!"
"The Patriot Act is about as libertarian as you can possibly get!!11!!"
"Stop-loss is not a de-facto draft!!11!!"
"MY BELOVED LIBERTARIAN MOVEMENT IS MINE, ALL MINE!!!11!!!"
And don't you forget it!
OnT? Those dolls creep me out. They should make a Dondero model with a little mustache, a screaming red face, a clipboard, and a pot belly.
Paul | March 14, 2008, 2:44pm | #
If you want to assemble a harem of servile blonde hotties, you'd better have a house with at least as many bedrooms and bathrooms as Hef's Playboy Mansion. Or you could buy yourself a half-dozen reborns or high-end sex dolls.Gross. What are you suggesting, here, Greg?
I'd buy one but only if it had a realistic soft spot at the top of the head that you could accidentally push your finger through while on a trans-Atlantic flight, causing mayhem amongst the passengers as you pulled your fake-bloody finger out of the fake brain and proceeded to suck on it. That would be awesome. There's probably a rule against it though.
Guy Montag | March 14, 2008, 2:47pm | #
ES,Looks like I can just go to Rhode Island instead of Nevada, for now.
Tonio | March 14, 2008, 2:54pm | #
GM,So, how long until you organize a call for federal intervention?
Was wondering if you'd sink that low. Thanks for not disappointing.
The answer is: Never. Also, not for state or local intervention in this. I think that this sort of issue is best dealt with by disapproval, such as I expressed above.
LarryA | March 14, 2008, 2:54pm | #
Let your dog play with it.Wouldn’t want to teach an old dog new tricks.
Seriously, this could get your pet shot. By me, if I couldn’t immediately tell the difference. Like if the kid was wrapped in a blanket.
Yeah, and ;-)
highnumber | March 14, 2008, 3:05pm | #
Yeah, I thought of the dog trick and decided not to run with that one, because of the dog being likely to think it was cleared to play like that with real babies.highnumber | March 14, 2008, 3:12pm | #
we moved haiku dayshould be the Friday before
each St Patrick's Day
sage | March 14, 2008, 3:16pm | #
Highnumber, good pointI will schedule it next time
An annual thing
highnumber | March 14, 2008, 3:17pm | #
creepy fake babiesI make them in my kitchen
you pay big money
diakron | March 14, 2008, 4:04pm | #
Granted, it is a bit macabre that so many reborn producers give their businesses names like "Babies From Heaven's Garden"—there's certainly great potential for a pro-life horror flick wherein the souls of aborted fetuses inhabit the bodies of reborn dolls and wreak havoc upon the activist judges who've made Roe v. Wade the law of the land.A pitch worthy of the A.W.E.S.O.M.-O 4000. Let's see a treatment!
Other Matt | March 14, 2008, 4:21pm | #
Then leave it on the roof when you get in town.
Skip a step, put it in the child seat on the roof and merrily head off down the HOV lane...
Erÿk Boston, Pre-Esq. | March 14, 2008, 8:35pm | #
Hmmm....women can get the emotional effects of a baby without the property tax hiking effects of real babies? How can I encourage this trend?Francisco Torres | March 15, 2008, 3:43pm | #
But why the need for judicious alarm every time some new species of low-tech android manifests itself?Because reporters, documentary makers and mainly all in the Big Business Media are anti-market zealots? Because they are really anti-tech, anti-freedom Luddites?
Regis Carnifex | March 16, 2008, 1:50am | #
Let it float around unattended at a water park or public pool.wang | March 16, 2008, 10:22am | #
I need one, too.