New at Reason
Sensitive wiccans and authoritative fundies be damned, Jesse Walker celebrates Halloween.
Comments to "New at Reason":
Pi Guy | October 30, 2007, 9:02am | #
Remember when being a hobo on Halloween was not politically incorrect?I was thinking of going as a donkey with a George Bush mask on but that just wasn't really pretend enough.
Halloween-hating Grinch | October 30, 2007, 9:24am | #
There's not much any Halloween-hating Grinch can do about that.I must find some way to keep Halloween from COMING! But how?
Episiarch | October 30, 2007, 9:26am | #
The problem with TP'ing the lawn of a bureaucratic asshole who tries to kill Halloween is that they are also the exact kind of person who would pressure the police to charge the perpetrators with hate crimes. Sometimes you just have to use dog shit in a flaming paper bag (bonus points for human shit). Then you only get charged with arson.I miss the good old days when you could egg the police cars that tried to shut down the fun on Halloween and not get tasered.
War on Terror. Culture War. War on Obesity. Drug War. I'd declare a war on war but that would be self-defeating. Wasn't the United Nations supposed to put an end to all this?
Warren | October 30, 2007, 9:35am | #
When I was growing up, Our parents use to dress us in dark clothing, obstruct our vision, wait until dark, and then turn us loose to run through the streets and beg candy from strangers.Now that I'm an adult, I actually appreciate the transformation into All Sluts Day. I just wish I got invited to parties.
Jonathan Hohensee | October 30, 2007, 9:47am | #
A few years earlier, the station reported, a school official declared in an internal email that "administrators should not tolerate such inappropriate stereotyping (images such as Witches on flying brooms, stirring cauldrons, casting spells, or with long noses and pointed hats) and instead address them as you would hurtful stereotypes of any other minority."*vomits blood*
joe | October 30, 2007, 9:59am | #
A few weeks after he exorcised Halloween from the Puyallup curriculum, the local superintendent declared that what really "resonated" for him was the need to "work hard every day to protect the instructional day from distractions and interruptions."I told ye! That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!
Jonathan Hohensee | October 30, 2007, 9:59am | #
Really, re-readig the article, I have to say fangs to you, Jesse Walker for giving me a story I can really sink my teeth into. Often times finding a good article to read online is just murder, but Reason is always the best place for a guy or ghoul to go to for the best stories. In fact, I'm going to mail this article to my mummy, she'll just love it to death.Jonthan Hohensee | October 30, 2007, 10:00am | #
I'm sorry everybody for that last post.dbust1 | October 30, 2007, 10:06am | #
I wonder, how long until the war on Thanksgiving? When PETA will step in and try to put an end to the senseless violence against Turkeys, when "Native Americans" will step up to declare the truth about the white man's (read Pilgrim's) raping and pillaging of the natives of New England.Minion of URKOBOLD | October 30, 2007, 10:08am | #
*ambles on by. Reads Jonathan's post. URKOBOLD whithers the taint of the Monty Python Knight with rubber chicken as a warning*MayorOmalleySuxs | October 30, 2007, 10:08am | #
"When PETA will step in and try to put an end to the senseless violence against Turkeys,..."The arses already are!
Episiarch | October 30, 2007, 10:13am | #
When PETA will step in and try to put an end to the senseless violence against TurkeysMaybe Mister Nice Guy can drop by and amuse us with his faux agonised moralizing over eating meat, and provide the PETA view for us.
Taktix® | October 30, 2007, 10:15am | #
Hey, what do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?They both like to crack open a cold one...
VM | October 30, 2007, 10:26am | #
Epi - wow! bazing!Warren @9.35 - see the 9.24 post, and that's what's appeared to have happened to you!
[keed keed] to make up for this, hier is a SFW treat for you.
Careful Taktix. Otherwise we'll have Mr. Steven Crane deal with you. neener.
JLM | October 30, 2007, 10:57am | #
"Remember when being a hobo on Halloween was not politically incorrect?"The most politically incorrect one I've ever seen was a buddy of mine dressed up as a pregnant nun. Imagine a knocked up nun with a goatee smoking a cigar. Classic....
The Turkeys | October 30, 2007, 11:04am | #
When PETA will step in and try to put an end to the senseless violence against Turkeys"It may be Thanksgiving to you, but it's the St. Valentine's Day Massacre to us."
-Johnny Hart
robc | October 30, 2007, 11:06am | #
Like 99.99999999999% of school related problems, this is yet another that can be solved by separation of school and state.Next.
thoreau | October 30, 2007, 11:11am | #
I would like to apologize to anybody who might be offended tomorrow when I work late on Halloween.And I apologize to those who were offended by my apology.
These days, you can't be too safe. If it covers just one ass...
smartass sob | October 30, 2007, 11:16am | #
Imagine a knocked up nun with a goatee smoking a cigarWhere was she wearing the goatee, and was she smoking the cigar Lewinsky-style? :-)
Did everyone but me celebrate halloween in school? Costumes were NOT allowed.
sv | October 30, 2007, 12:07pm | #
"all sluts day".... you beat me to itdbust1 | October 30, 2007, 12:19pm | #
We celebrated Halloween at school. It was an all day event with a Halloween parade at the end. We also celebrated St. Pat's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and I think even President's Day and Arbor Day (I remember planting a tree once). I don't know if we ever actually had class though...I think we spent the whole time planning for the next holiday.J sub D | October 30, 2007, 12:19pm | #
Remember when being a hobo on Halloween was not politically incorrect?Picture this one. Skinny white male child. Cheap, but ceative mother. My costume? This. People raved over it. Times do change, don't they?
J sub D | October 30, 2007, 12:21pm | #
We celebrated Halloween at school. It was an all day event with a Halloween parade at the end. We also celebrated St. Pat's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and I think even President's Day and Arbor DayYou forgot Saint Valentines Day.
Warren | October 30, 2007, 12:22pm | #
curious,When did you go to school? Costumes until age 10 were compulsory in the 70's
kevrob | October 30, 2007, 12:36pm | #
Like 99.99999999999% of school related problems, this is yet another that can be solved by separation of school and state. - robcNo fooling. I was sent to Catholic elementary school. We didn't have in-school Halloween parties, and didn't wear costumes, unless you count our normal school uniforms. We did learn about All Saints Day and All Souls Day, and how the church replaced the old pagan holiday ( Samhain in the Irish) with its new ones. We were not taught that pagan religion was necessarily Satanic, but more often an imperfect attempt of ancient man to deal with the transcendent without the benefit of special revelation.
Since Nov. 1 was a Holy Day of Obligation, we had it off, and while the poor "public kids" were in school all the next day, our All Hallows Eves were blissfully free of homework hassles. Yeah, we had to spend an hour at Mass, but our co-parishioners who went to the government schools had to put that time in too, usually before they were due at school.
Here's a No Fun Allowed gubmint school on Long Island that has banned costumes, because of what some girls wore last year.
Perhaps Mr. Restivo sees Mr. Krupp when he looks in the mirror?
Kevin
dbust1 | October 30, 2007, 12:48pm | #
I can't believe I forgot St. Valentine's Day! Perhaps that's an indication of my opinion of that "holiday" which, I think, is far more evil than Halloween, but, I digress.I now recall the dozens of GI Joe and He-man valentines I would buy and those shitty little hearts that were impossible to read and would break your teeth.
Other Matt | October 30, 2007, 1:14pm | #
I wonder, how long until the war on Thanksgiving?Dude-"Anti Pilgrim Day", learn it, love it
Shannon Chamberlain | October 30, 2007, 1:20pm | #
Christ, you Catholic school kids got screwed. I went to a Catholic high school and costumes were pretty much mandatory, unless you wanted to wear your uniform that day. Some got around this by dressing up as "public skool girls."Ruthless | October 30, 2007, 1:24pm | #
What bugs me about Halloween is how it incites fear of death.Why can't everyone be atheists and see death as simply tranquil nonexistence?
Other Matt | October 30, 2007, 1:35pm | #
Why can't everyone be atheists and see death as simply tranquil nonexistence?I don't think it's the destination that bothers most so much as the getting there.
Robert | October 30, 2007, 1:45pm | #
"I wonder, how long until the war on Thanksgiving?"It's here. I'm informed my friend Nadine's criminal nephew Nathaniel is in an institution (glorified jail) where, because they didn't want to make those without close family feel bad, nobody gets to go with family on Thanksgiving. Instead, they can get release to visit family any single day of November except Thanksgiving!
Why his mother Bonnie or his brothers would want him over anyway after he stole from them and brought such grief is a mystery to me. Beware on Nov. 10!
J sub D | October 30, 2007, 1:55pm | #
Why can't everyone be atheists and see death as simply tranquil nonexistence?I'm an atheist who thinks that whole "Die with Dignity" mantra is bullshit. When I go, I'll be kicking and screaming figuratively, if not literally, all the way out!
Robert | October 30, 2007, 1:59pm | #
"I don't know if we ever actually had class though...I think we spent the whole time planning for the next holiday."Yeah, at P.S. 108, seemed we had nothing but holidays -- including everybody's birthday, which in classes of 40+ were quite a few. They could always cook up pedagogic reasons for att'n to holidays that nobody'd ever hear of otherwise, like UN Day. We probably heard more about Jewish & Catholic holidays than they did in Hebrew & Catholic school. If a holiday fell on a weekend or during a vacation, or even during another holiday, they figured out some way to give it mention anyway. If a pupil was a fan of some historic figure whose birthday (or some kind of anniversary) it was, we all heard about it.
Robert | October 30, 2007, 2:01pm | #
I'm an atheist who thinks that whole "Die with Dignity" mantra is bullshit. When I go, I'll be kicking and screaming figuratively, if not literally, all the way out!You want a refund?
hey, I was a junior in high school in this exact district when this happened. our school got around it by having a "superhero" day. except you were allowed to invent your own superhero. one friend was witchman. and there were plenty other people doing the same type of thing. the teachers didn't seem to care. it wsa a collective fuck you to Tony Apostle.
Matthew | October 30, 2007, 2:43pm | #
Why can't everyone be atheists and see death as simply tranquil nonexistence?It can't be "tranquil" since it is non-existence. Since it's true nothingness, it has no attributes or qualities.
Ruthless | October 30, 2007, 2:54pm | #
What if we had a Dr. Kervorkian national holiday the day before Halloween?Then dying could be seen to be almost as tranquil as death.
Then we would also need to kill off All Hallows Day the day after Halloween.
Lamar | October 30, 2007, 3:20pm | #
"Why can't everyone be atheists"Because if everybody were atheist, there would be no theists, making the term "atheist" nonsensical.
Ruthless | October 30, 2007, 3:29pm | #
Lamar,Shades of Noam Chomsky, but doesn't every word need other words to be defined?
Mike Laursen | October 30, 2007, 7:34pm | #
Wasn't the United Nations supposed to put an end to all this?To its credit, the U.N. is pro-Halloween. Well, at least, Unicef:
http://www.unicefusa.org/site/pp.asp?c=hkIXLdMRJtE&b=1706865
But, yikes!, itlooks like Unicef is under fire from the Knights of Columbus:
http://www.knightsite.com/kc9496/unborn25.htm
Jack Chick sure hates Halloween. He's devoted a half-dozen cartoon tracts to showing how it is Satan's holiday. Two of these tracts were made into short films, "Bewitched?" and "The Little Princess". They are a gas. Over at www.316now.com. Happy Halloween! HAW HAW HAW!
Frankly, we've not celebrated Haloween in years and we don't pass out candy to the evil twisted brats that pound on the door, not that very many do anymore. I'm glad to see Halloween go down the tubes and I'm working hard to kill the "American 'Holiday Season'" formerly known as "Christmas". There's no reason to have a "Winter" holiday called "Christmas" in a non-christian country. It's stupid. Let the Christians have their "Christmas" while the rest work on. It's dumb.
antagonist | October 31, 2007, 2:32pm | #
Hey Tony, I hear they don't celebrate christmas in hell. Have fun.