Roger Staubach's Texas-Sized Shilling

I've never liked former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Roger Staubach--probably because of the guy's penchant for haunting woods and playing "Olympic Size Skittle Bowl" as a way of impressing young boys. (Give me Don Adams hawking Skittle Pool any day).

Now a guy I know who dislikes faux-maverick Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) has hipped me to one more reason to dislike Roger the Dodger a.k.a. Capt. Comeback: His support for McNasty's presidential bid which is, naturally, expressed in tedious football metaphors:

The fourth quarter of this year is going to be the most important in this campaign. That's why it's important for us not to stand on the sidelines and watch - it's time to get in the game right now. We can't do our job in the fourth quarter unless we play hard in the third. Please fill out the form below to join me in supporting John McCain.

Oh, hock patooie on that. If I'm going to follow the advice of a '70s QB, let it be Ken Stabler or Terry Bradshaw.

Comments

Drawn Asunder | September 25, 2007, 2:19pm | #

"Skittle Bowl"? Wow.

Taktix® | September 25, 2007, 2:24pm | #

Broken link on the hock patooie...

Hank Hill | September 25, 2007, 2:29pm | #

Damn you, Nick Gillespie.

Other Matt | September 25, 2007, 2:35pm | #

USNA grads look out for each other, to an extent.

James Ard | September 25, 2007, 2:42pm | #

I don't see Nick being a fan of many military academy grads. But I'm glad to see he recommends advice from a Bama grad. The Snake could be governer if he wanted, but I prefer he stick to his color commentary on Saturdays. Although he's probably pretty libertarian.

Warren | September 25, 2007, 2:47pm | #

Screw you Gillespie. If I'm going to follow a '70s QB to inevitable defeat, it's going to Fran Tarkenton.

James Ard | September 25, 2007, 2:48pm | #

Oh, Warren, not a Georgia grad, not this week.

robc | September 25, 2007, 2:49pm | #

As a 70s era Cowboys fan, I always liked Staubach. Also, the greatest play in NFL history was LT breaking Theismann's leg.

I know nothing about Staubach's or Theismann's politics, but like James Ard I could deal with Stabler more than likely.

Number 6 | September 25, 2007, 2:51pm | #

Wow...that add is full of...well...a freudian wouldn't have any problem figuring out what is really going on there.

Timothy | September 25, 2007, 2:55pm | #

And sometimes a creepy guy in the woods is just a pedophile.

Waquoit | September 25, 2007, 2:56pm | #

Besides being a long-time phony, he was a member of the "Hartford Whalers Board of Directors" while the franchise was being run into the ground. The loser owner then sold out to some carpetbagger who moved the team to Carolina. Thanks for nuthin, Roger.

Hank Hill | September 25, 2007, 3:42pm | #

Don't be sayin' nothing bad about Roger Staubach.

Tim of Angle | September 25, 2007, 5:45pm | #

Dislike Roger Staubach? Why? Well, let's see ... spent four years at taxpayers' expense picking up a fine college degree and honing his football skills, then cooled his heels as a REMF Supply Officer (like Al Gore) until he could quit and make oodles playing pro ball. Oh, and took a slot at the USNA that might have gone to somebody who, I don't know, might have wanted to be a Naval officer.

If I see the son of a bitch on the street and there's a blunt object handy, he's a dead man.

J sub D | September 25, 2007, 7:29pm | #

Tim of Angle,

You forgot to add HE WAS A FUCKING DALLAS COWBOY! The instant they started calling themselves "America's Team" I started hating the cocksuckers. What an goddam arrogant statement. I hope they lose eveyy game until the 22nd century.

Happy Jack | September 25, 2007, 10:43pm | #

If I'm going to follow the advice of a '70s QB, let it be Ken Stabler or Terry Bradshaw.

I'd follow Roman Gabriel through the gates of Hell.

dead_elvis | September 26, 2007, 4:12am | #

Jesus, first Larry Csonka and now this. The way you guys are going through my childhood football card collection I half expect tomorrow's headlines to have something to do with Len Dawson and George Blanda.

RIght on Warren. My childhood jammies were purple and had the number 10 and... HEY, STAUBACH, GET YOUR CREEPY HANDS OFF ME, THAT WAS 30 YEARS AGO!

BakedPenguin | September 26, 2007, 8:02am | #

I like how the Skittle Bowl is "Olympic Size". Sure f'ing hope we get that Skittle bowl gold in Beijing. USA! USA!

Matt J | September 26, 2007, 10:10am | #

As a 70s era Cowboys fan, I always liked Staubach. Also, the greatest play in NFL history was LT breaking Theismann's leg.

Agreed. LT for president.

The instant they started calling themselves "America's Team" I started hating the cocksuckers.

That was the point douche. As many people tune in to see them get their ass handed to them as to see them win. Either way your pulling ratings. That's how you end up with a franchise worth billions. Five rings helps too.

Matt J | September 26, 2007, 11:31am | #

I mean - You're pulling ratings.

Blame Tom Landry Middle School for my grammar.