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Gateway Gum: Mojito Mint

 Orbit has introduced a mojito-flavored gum, which a consumer watchdog group fears will be a gateway gum for kids. One chew of mojito gum and little Timmy will be climbing out of his bedroom window to drink overpriced rum cocktails in no time:

"It's something I'd call mildly reprehensible, and it'll almost certainly lead to others going further," said a spokesman for the Marin Institute, the watchdog group. "It's sad they need to name it like an alcoholic beverage to sell it."

Naturally, a spokesman for the agency that created the ads begs to differ, pointing out that every damn thing--from jellybeans to Slurpees--is already pina colada flavored, so mojito is hardly worse. Also,"We're aiming for [an audience in their] early 20s," he said. "This was never a teen brand."

The real reason for mojito-flavored gum?:

Breath-freshening Orbit is running out of names for mint-based flavors. The current stable includes bubblemint, winter mint, peppermint, spearmint, cinnamint, sweet mint, citrus mint, raspberry mint -- and now mint mojito -- which perhaps has a better ring to it than "lime-sugar-and-rum mint."

Read Jacob's take on a slightly more risque candy, marijuana lollipops.

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Comments to "Gateway Gum: Mojito Mint":

David | April 17, 2007, 3:48pm | #

How can something be "mildly reprehensible"?

As far the name goes, these watchdog groups really need to get a grip.

lunchstealer | April 17, 2007, 3:50pm | #

So is Jelly Belly marketing a gateway to eating dirt, earwax, and boogers in their Harry Potter's Every Flavor Beans?

Kwix | April 17, 2007, 3:53pm | #

Wow, I wondered how long it would take for some "watchdog" to hop on this bandwagon. I just didn't expect it so soon. Wonder when they are going to start calling for the renaming of Butterscotch candies and Strawberry Daiquiri Jelly Beans.

lunchstealer | April 17, 2007, 3:54pm | #

Not to mention the "Finlandia" and "Absolut" chocolates - filled with vodka - that I brought back my last trip to the Baltic.

joe | April 17, 2007, 3:54pm | #

I don't buy the "gateway" theory.

I know this is anecdotal, but my father used to drink Coors Light, and he never moved onto consuming human urine.

Guy Montag | April 17, 2007, 3:59pm | #

Sounds like the paint-naming folks go to the same advertising classes as the gum-naming folks, but probably get lower grades.

Dodge called the PPG automobile paint color F-5 2461, "Bright Yellow Green Poly" in 1972. Dupont calls it "Lime Green Metallic" today.

Reinmoose | April 17, 2007, 4:02pm | #

I'll buy the gum just because I like saying the word.

MOE-HEEEEEEE-TOE

Timothy | April 17, 2007, 4:04pm | #

Excuse me: Little Timmy moved on to juleps or straight whiskey, thanks. Rum? Bah.

Warren | April 17, 2007, 4:06pm | #

joe,
I believe that’s the funniest thing you’ve ever written.

BTW, is it bad that I had to wiki mojito?

thoreau | April 17, 2007, 4:11pm | #

joe wins the thread.

Sam B | April 17, 2007, 4:12pm | #

As a child one of my favorite flavors of candy was rum raisin. Now as an adult I think rum tastes gross, but I don't mind to taste of vodka, whiskey or even gin. Based on this anecdotal evidence I think these teetolars are way off base in their denouncement of this gum. If anything they should encourage candies to be named after alcohols. That way when kids first try the alcohol they will say "This tastes NOTHING like mojito-mint; this is actually pretty gross". Alcoholism problem solved.

Anon | April 17, 2007, 4:12pm | #

Mojitos? If it is a gateway, little Timmy will may end in in South Beach, dating a guy named Zane.

:- | April 17, 2007, 4:13pm | #

joe wins the thread

Do we stop now, then?

Sam B | April 17, 2007, 4:14pm | #

Also, I kind of like Coors Light.

dhex | April 17, 2007, 4:26pm | #

btw, a well-made mojito (i.e. made by someone who is familiar with the real deal) is very awesome, but a total brain punch. muy fuerte!

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 4:27pm | #

joe,

Urine is such a strong word to use for Coors Light. Maybe watered-down urine would be more appropriate. Michelob ULTRA has a similar quality.

Mojitos are quite good, when made properly. There's a place in Ybor City that makes them very well. I'm still partial to Mint Juleps, though, on those rare occasions when I drink. Actually, I should say on those even rarer occasions when I feel the need to add mint to my drink.

jimmydageek | April 17, 2007, 4:38pm | #

Pro Lib,

I had a Mojito over at the Columbia Restaurant. It was quite yummy and refreshing.

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 4:41pm | #

jimmydageek,

Try Big City Tavern in Centro Ybor--they do a very nice mojito. Then go to Samurai Blue and have the Spontaneous Combustion roll. Mmmmmmmmm.

Lamar | April 17, 2007, 4:41pm | #

You mean it isn't bubble gum flavored booze?? Stupid sexy Fox News.

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 4:45pm | #

Lamar,

Nah, it's just human sex-pheromone scented. Nothing to worry about!

Sam B | April 17, 2007, 4:49pm | #

To all those lavishing praise on Mojitos: Yeah, but did you chew mojito-flavored gum as a kid? I didn't think so.

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 4:51pm | #

No, no, I did not. I chewed Jack Daniels' flavored gum.

Lamar | April 17, 2007, 4:51pm | #

I swear I'm not nutz. Fox News reported that drug dealers were selling (to your children) candy-flavored drugs, when the story was really about drug-flavored candy. Why can't I get any resonance on this? Is it my obnoxious, yet innocent, foot odor?

jimmydageek | April 17, 2007, 4:51pm | #

erm...risking sounding dumb...WTF is a spontaneous combustion roll??

joe | April 17, 2007, 4:54pm | #

Brilliant use of the word "strong," Pro Lib.

VM | April 17, 2007, 4:54pm | #

jimmydageek:

a glock lovingly covered in HFCS then twice baked in a nice, flaky butter crust. Add some shredded cabbage and carrots. Some water chestnuts. And bake for 20 minutes. It will discharge magnificent flavor in your mouth. Served with our special mustard, it'll blow your head off!

B.P. | April 17, 2007, 4:55pm | #

Someone offered me a piece of this gum at a party last week. It has an interesting taste, with a hint of citrus.

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 4:59pm | #

It's one of Samurai Blue's specialty rolls. I don't know exactly what's in it, other than grouper and spicy mayonnaise. I think there's some tuna in it, too. It's really good, though. They do a great Hawaiian roll, as well.

Warren | April 17, 2007, 5:00pm | #

OK Lamar, I'll share your outrage.

STUPID FOX NEWS,
YOU BASTARDS!

Stevo Darkly | April 17, 2007, 5:00pm | #

The real reason for mojito-flavored gum?:

Breath-freshening Orbit is running out of names for mint-based flavors. The current stable includes bubblemint, winter mint, peppermint, spearmint, cinnamint, sweet mint, citrus mint, raspberry mint -- and now mint mojito -- which perhaps has a better ring to it than "lime-sugar-and-rum mint."


I think we can actually help with this, but coming up with additional names for various mint flavors, e.g.:

- Franklin mint
- govern mint
- pave mint
- establish mint
- disburse mint
- oh no you dih-uh-mint

Others? Help me.

Libertarian | April 17, 2007, 5:05pm | #

Joe's right about the gateway thing. I've heard that 4 out of 5 Budweiser drinkers prefer beer.

Sam B | April 17, 2007, 5:06pm | #

Redistribumint

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:07pm | #

VM,

No, wrong. Don't mock my sushi. Interesting side note: The most famous case of human spontaneous combustion--whatever that is--occurred in St. Petersburg. Coincidence? I think not.

joe,

My mom drank The Liquid with Less Taste and Kick than Water, too. Yes, I raided it on occasion, but it was awful, and I was a stupid, desperate teenager. Never could figure out the whole "Coors" thing, light or otherwise.

Stevo,

Honorable mintion.
Fourth dimintion.
Antidisestablishmintarianism
Demintia.
Experimint.

Chris S. | April 17, 2007, 5:09pm | #

Stevo,

I've actually consumed a mint product called "indict-mints."

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:13pm | #

Unmintionables.
Retiremint.
Mint & Run.

Warren | April 17, 2007, 5:17pm | #

knot-wood-eye-mint

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:18pm | #

No commint.

Libertarian | April 17, 2007, 5:21pm | #

Anybody here as old as me? I swear that back in the 70s, when Coors was bootlegged, and you had to go out west to buy it, it had a UNIQUE, decent taste. Now it tastes like generic American beer.

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 5:21pm | #

Condomint?

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:24pm | #

Fermintation.

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 5:30pm | #

Mintcing?

Stevo Darkly | April 17, 2007, 5:34pm | #

Ooh! Sexual harass mint.

Warren | April 17, 2007, 5:36pm | #

Libertarian (if that is your real name)
Didn't they make a movie about that.

"For the money, for the glory, and for the fun... Mostly for the money."

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:36pm | #

That's a good one.

Lamintations of Der Vomen?

creech | April 17, 2007, 5:37pm | #

What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 5:38pm | #

Mintal problems?

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:40pm | #

Stevo,

With the companion gum, Hostile Environmint.

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 5:41pm | #

What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?

Mintsterbatin'

Stevo Darkly | April 17, 2007, 5:43pm | #

Mintal telepathy

I never mint to hurt you

Mintercourse

Premintstrual syndrome

Coitus minterruptus

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:45pm | #

That's what I mint to say.

Warren | April 17, 2007, 5:48pm | #

Paymints with fringe benefmints.

VM | April 17, 2007, 5:50pm | #

ProL:

would never mock another man's sushi any more than I'd rub his rhubarb!

mentos?

hey. wait a sec. Creech - IT'S NOT DROOL

David | April 17, 2007, 5:51pm | #

Envir-O-Mints

Warren | April 17, 2007, 5:53pm | #

What isn't minterstate commerce?

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 5:53pm | #

Enviromintal damage

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 5:57pm | #

Minty Python.

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 6:02pm | #

I did a google image search for "Minty McGhee."

NSFW. NSF anything. NS at all.

Cracker's Boy | April 17, 2007, 6:04pm | #

Lemme' think about that for a mint...

CB

lunchstealer | April 17, 2007, 6:11pm | #

I don't think these are the kinds commints that KMW mint for us to be postin'.

violent_k | April 17, 2007, 6:11pm | #

Embarrassmint

lunchstealer | April 17, 2007, 6:12pm | #

What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?

Mintsterbatin'


My momma told me that too much of that and you'd end up like these guys.

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 6:15pm | #

Stop! You're making me vomint.

You varmints!

lunchstealer | April 17, 2007, 6:18pm | #

Ooh! Sexual harass mint.

That can lead to unemploy mint.

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 6:18pm | #

What should be our punishmint?

violent_k | April 17, 2007, 6:20pm | #

Confinemint?

brotherben | April 17, 2007, 6:33pm | #

Coors, (not coors light) at room temp. That's what coors was designed to be.

Henry Weinhards is a great room temp beer as well.
some beer is just better that way.

Home Brewer | April 17, 2007, 6:47pm | #

In '79 a buddy and I flew from MA to CA to visit some other buddies. Slept on the red-eye leg from Bradley to DFW. Left DFW around sunrise and asked for a deck of cards and some beer. This drew a strange look from the stewer ... (oops) ... flight attendent, but she said she thought they had some Curs beer on board. Curs! Wow, we had heard about this legendary beer that you could only get out west. We awaited her return with much anticipation. Soon she arrived and brought our treasure. We marveled at the two press-in pop tops on the can (other beers still had detachable pop-tops). We toasted to our good fortune and took huge swigs from the cans. At this point words fail me. To say this legendary beer was underwhelming is a huge understatement. It wasn't that it was bad, because it wasn't, it's just that it tasted like soda water with slight beer flavor added. So we played rummy 500 and ridiculed the bantamweight beer while ordering another as soon as we had emptied the prior one (hey, at least it had alcohol in it.) After our 4th or 5th Curs, the flight attendent said there were no more. So we asked if there was anything else.
.
.
.
She said...
.
.
.
And I'm not making this up...
.
.
.
.
She said they had...
.
.
.
Curs Light.

We pretty much lost it after that.

mediageek | April 17, 2007, 6:50pm | #

Crunchy Frog...er...mint.

Matt L | April 17, 2007, 7:00pm | #

creech | April 17, 2007, 5:37pm | #
What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?


Drinking more Moose Drool? Hanging out with a flying squirrel?

I haven't had one in about 7 years.

Jennifer Emick | April 17, 2007, 7:19pm | #

Wow, the margarita jello must really piss 'em off.

It's not like this is a new thing...Baskin Robbins had a daquiri flavor from, what, forty years ago?

Pro Libertatement | April 17, 2007, 7:25pm | #

Imprisonmint - "There's no escaping Imprisonmint!"

Soymint Green - "Oh, the huminity!"

That's Mintertainment!

Happy Jack | April 17, 2007, 7:32pm | #

my father used to drink Coors Light, and he never moved onto consuming human urine.

I've always thought Coors was pine needles and piss. From my perch, it looks like Dad went straight into mainlining.

lunchstealer | April 17, 2007, 8:16pm | #

I just want to thank everyone for their commitmint to making me chortle.

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 8:24pm | #

We've provided amusmint!

highnumber | April 17, 2007, 8:24pm | #

or "amusemint"

You leave one "e" out, it gets easy to leave out another.

Pro Libertate | April 17, 2007, 9:12pm | #

Elemintary, my dear highnumber, elemintary.

Karen | April 17, 2007, 10:55pm | #

Until I found you all, I thought I was pretty good with the puns. I'm a piker in this crowd. The whole thread has me thirsty, though. I need some refreshmint. (shuffles off to Buffalo, waving top hat and cane.)

Rich Lafferty | April 18, 2007, 12:06am | #

Meanwhile, Lifesavers have been available in Butter Rum for over fifty years.

M | April 18, 2007, 12:15am | #

Gubmint - (Eeeeew! Gross!!)

Syd | April 18, 2007, 1:56am | #

I used to eat mint julep candy when I was a kid. I never had any temptation to drink mint-flavored alcohol.

I also used to eat butter rum Lifesavers which are delicious. I do drink rum, but I don't think the Lifesavers had anything to do with it. It did help me appreciate butterscotch (which has nothing to do with Scotch whiskey.)

Amaretto flavored candy would be great.

Pro Libertate | April 18, 2007, 9:25am | #

Karen,

We comminters thank you for the complimint. But our puns weren't mintentional.

Sandy | April 18, 2007, 9:31am | #

Clearly we need to contact Senator Jim DeMint.

Zach | April 18, 2007, 10:58am | #

But why is the rum gone?

Stevo Darkly | April 18, 2007, 2:03pm | #

"Every man's death de-mints-es me."

trent | April 19, 2007, 11:27am | #

Mojitos are delicious! Anyone who has a problem with them should be sent to Gitmo.