If You're Going To North Korea...

...be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. And if you want to participate in the first official rock concert to be held in that worker's paradise, let's get clear on the groundrules for the battle of the bands:

A pro-North Korean organisation says it is inviting US and other Western musicians to perform at an unprecedented rock concert next year in Pyongyang -- as long as they avoided sexy or violent lyrics.

Songs should not contain "admiration for war, sex, violence, murder, drug, rape, non-governmental society, imperialism, colonialism, racism and anti-socialism", organiser Voice of Korea said in a statement on its website.

"We welcome every musician as long as they are purely music-based without political intentions," it said Thursday.

More here.

I am not sure if any rock band will be able to appear.

Comments

madpad | November 20, 2006, 9:29am | #

I am not sure if any rock band will be able to appear.

I don't know...I'm pretty sure Air Supply is available.

Jeff P | November 20, 2006, 9:43am | #

I smell a polka fest.

madpad | November 20, 2006, 9:48am | #

Weird Al's the man!

tarran | November 20, 2006, 10:04am | #

What they want is a band that does "Schoolhouse Rock" cover tunes.

"conjunction junction, what's your function?"

See, it works!

mk | November 20, 2006, 10:09am | #

I don't know, when they start with "I'm just a bill..." the stage would be rushed with nightstick wielding policemen. It could get ugly.

All the socialist punk bands should go over there and play. I'd love to se their faces when they got back. What do you think of socialism now punk?

Jim Walsh | November 20, 2006, 10:15am | #

"We welcome every musician as long as they are purely music-based without political intentions," it said Thursday.

My guess is they wouldn't have a problem with Audioslave...

Mark Borok | November 20, 2006, 10:28am | #

Now I really want to see someone write a song that expresses admiration for every one of those things, in the order listed.

Bruce Otter | November 20, 2006, 10:31am | #

'Schoolhouse Rock' Also gave us 'No more Kings', 'The Preamble', 'The Shot Heard 'Round the World', and 'Fireworks' which gave us this line from Thomas Paine:

"It's only common sense (only common sense)
That if a government won't give you your basic rights
You better get another government."

. . .just sayin'.

Jennifer | November 20, 2006, 10:39am | #

They can listen to Kenny G instrumentals, I guess.

mediageek | November 20, 2006, 10:42am | #

System of a Down should totally play the lounge at the Ryugyong Hotel!

mk | November 20, 2006, 10:48am | #

I remember that the Manic Street Preachers played Cuba once. As if being poor and stifled wasn't bad enough, having to listen to that shit is just piling on.

thoreau | November 20, 2006, 10:51am | #

Perhaps They Might be Giants could slip past the censors.

As long as they don't sing their tribute to James K. Polk.

hale | November 20, 2006, 11:05am | #

This sounds like the perfect venue for precious indie-pop folksters like Sufjan Stevens. I don't think he endorses a single one of those horrible things. I bet his music jumps the cultural barrier too, insofar as loathsome glibness is universal.

J sub D | November 20, 2006, 11:07am | #

...although I am not an expert in rock music," Kim said.
Painfully obvious.

J sub D | November 20, 2006, 11:09am | #

They can listen to Kenny G instrumentals, I guess.

ROCK MUSIC. This humble critic does not include Kenny G. in the category.

Rimfax | November 20, 2006, 11:17am | #

Rush could fly over, play "YYZ" and say that the rest of their retertoire is censored and go home.

Jeff P | November 20, 2006, 11:26am | #

Five ten fifteen twenty STOP! Twenty, that's a coooool numbah!

I would recommend an all instrumental surf rock festival.

Chris | November 20, 2006, 11:28am | #

Madpad, I don't think that you completely thought through your Air Supply comment, or have you forgotten their pro-Imperialism stance regarding the Belgium reconquest of the Congo? Tragically, this requirement will probably deep six the appearanc of most popular bands from the past decade.

brian423 | November 20, 2006, 11:30am | #

Finally, a rock concert that Joe Lieberman can enjoy.

Grand Chalupa | November 20, 2006, 11:36am | #

Now I really want to see someone write a song that expresses admiration for every one of those things, in the order listed.

Ok, I'll bite....

Oh war, glorious war!
Compared to you, sex is Al Gore

We kill the enemy to prove our might
And smoke joints until the middle of the night

But that is not the best part
The rape of foreign women is what truly excites my heart

What has war given us most of all?
The right to live without government interference at all

America was founded on taking Indian's land
And our overseas imperialism continues into Afghanistan

Oh, just wait till we colonize Iran!

We brutalize Sunni, Shia and Kurd
Because whites are superior, didn't you read the Bell Curve?

We live to hold down the masses
Through our bourgeois food and fashion

Hail to our leader, he taught us we can!
RIP, Milton Friedman

brian423 | November 20, 2006, 11:37am | #

Nick Rivers (a.k.a. Val Kilmer) should go.

h-dawg | November 20, 2006, 12:10pm | #

"non-governmental society"

What the hell does that mean?

gaijin | November 20, 2006, 12:22pm | #

GC: Excellent works! Your lyrics over a nice Pantera-derived riff ought to rock the house.

andy | November 20, 2006, 12:31pm | #

"non-governmental society"

"What the hell does that mean?"

Anarchy, I would presume, the nightmare of every good statist.

Peter K. | November 20, 2006, 12:38pm | #

They could invite back an "American rock star" who has already played North Korea: Slick Willy's half-brother Roger Clinton.

Sam McManus | November 20, 2006, 12:51pm | #

Is F.A.G. going to be there?

jkp | November 20, 2006, 2:19pm | #

The Eagles actually might find a venue for "Journey of the Sorcerer" that is NOT "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"-related.

Otherwise...maybe Rockapella?

Ken Shultz | November 20, 2006, 2:54pm | #

"Songs should not contain "admiration for war, sex, violence, murder, drug, rape, non-governmental society, imperialism, colonialism, racism and anti-socialism", organiser Voice of Korea said in a statement on its website."

Maybe I'm not following, but am I to understand they'll subject thousands of peaceful people to live performances of Christian Rock?

Oh the humanity! ...and the DPRK still denies it tortures people?

John Rhoads | November 20, 2006, 2:58pm | #

As a member of a surf rock band, I would argue that despite being instrumental, a pro-sex message is implied by the music. :)

de stijl | November 20, 2006, 3:03pm | #

Hom Il Sim Song and the B-Shar Peis

Karen | November 20, 2006, 7:17pm | #

Well, at least they won't have to worry about crowd control or noise abatement.

jon | November 21, 2006, 1:28am | #

Let's have a fundraiser to send Glass Tiger to North Korea.