Reason Weekly Contest: Help Gawker Politely Title a Story
Last week's winners revealed.
Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:
After running a story about an otherwise obscure publishing exec's alleged indiscretion, Gawker was roundly criticized and ended up pulling the post. Come up with a headline we would expect to see from a newly contrite, make-nice, non-offensive Gawker.
How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "GAWKER" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, July 27. Winners will appear Friday, July 31, right here at Reason.com.
In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!
And now for the results of last week's contest: We asked you to come up with another (printable!) provision to add to University of Minnesota's affirmative consent policy.
THE WINNER:
The Consent Office will provide Proposed Sexual Encounter Consent (PSEC) forms and students shall initial each form of sexual activity to which said students consent. For each PSEC, indicate the date, time, and location. The completed PSEC form should be submitted to the Consent Office 3 to 5 business days before sexual activity begins. A set of notarized forms shall be provided by the Consent Office 1-2 business days after the submission. One notarized copy shall be retained by each participant for a period of no less than 20 years. An additional notarized form shall be posted 12 hours before sexual encounter takes place on the door of room or within 50 ft of where said encounter shall occur. No less than 2 hours before, participants shall sign the Consent of Initiation of Sexual Encounter Agreement (CISEA), and afterward the Consent of Consummation of Sexual Encounter Agreement (CCSEA). Both must be returned to the Consent Office within 24 hours. — Jason Quartarone, Los Angeles, CA
SECOND PLACE:
Consenting, under this provision, requires proof of Affordable Care Act enrollment. — Paul Kellmurray, Nolanville, TX
THIRD PLACE:
All safe words must be at least 8 characters long and must contain at least one capital letter. — Brian, Winter Springs, FL
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"…all sexual activities must be video-recorded by a certified videographer who shall be present, but unobtrusive, for the duration of said sexual activities." — Andy Johnson, Baton Rouge, LA
Any party incorporating the exclamatory phrase "Oh, yes" or any variations thereof must immediately clarify whether the phrase was:
A) Affirmation of the acceptability of the current activity
B) Consent to advance to another level of activity, or
C) Notice of the impending termination of the activity.
— David Mohler, Phoenix, AZ
If, during sexual activity, a participant changes their sexual orientation or gender self-identification, all sexual activity must cease until that participant has announced their new orientation/identification to the other participant(s), and all parties have re-evaluated and reaffirmed their previous consent. — Jay Cornell, San Francisco
If parties fail to reach consent, either party may request an arbitrator from the University of Minnesota Department of Sexual Relations, Tobacco and Firearms. Both parties will be bound to the decision of said arbitrator. — Alex Popovich, Knoxville, TN
At the University of Minnesota we have developed a Title IX Sexual Consent application that you can use on your Windows Phone*.
Simply ask your partner to install the application and then enable BlueTooth on your phone. You can continue pressing the "I CONSENT" button near your partner's phone. If you want to passively withdraw your consent, you can either press "I DO NOT CONSENT" or wait 3 minutes (this time limit is adjustable) for the sexual consent to automatically expire. Your partner's phone will vibrate and sound an alarm that all sexual activity must cease.
*Android and iOS versions will be available shortly. — Chris
Introducing the Bang Buddy System, in which an unbiased volunteer from our Office of Gender Equality will stand witness to the sexual encounter to verify consent is maintained properly throughout and will, if necessary, intervene to halt sexual contact until consent is re-established. — Joshua Trujillo , Chandler, AZ
"Let's Get It On" (paper). — Mike Engleson Missoula, MT