A.M. Links: Mitt Slammed for Doubting FEMA, Japan To Try More Keynesianism, Sniper Takes Out Suicidal Teen

  • Federal fanboys see an opportunity, in the frankenstorm, to take Mitt Romney to task for suggesting that anybody other than the feds should respond to nature's curve balls. Cuz government is so uniquely excellent at the job.
  • President Obama says he's like to create a new Cabinet-level "Secretary of Business" if re-elected. That's right, Mr. President. You must first name what you would destroy.
  • The Bank of Japan is poised to feed the economy some more of that yummy Keynesian stimulus, since the country has stubbornly refused to emerge from its doldrums for about 15 years. This time will be the charm.
  • In the Netherlands, the Liberal and Labor parties have crafted a coalition that has already agreed to billions in spending cuts and plans to eliminate the government's deficit by 2017. Meanwhile, in the U.S. ...
  • Chicago is seeing growth in one of its traditional industries: homicide. The city has already surpassed its murder total for 2011.
  • A California law that heaps new burdens on third parties before they can appear on the ballot was blocked by a judge who cynically suggested that it might have been crafted to limit political competition.
  • After being called to the scene by a suicidal boy's parents, police in Cherokee County, Georgia, quickly dealt with the lad's woes — by taking him out with a sniper. Oh yes, they did.

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Federal fanboys see an opportunity, in the frankenstorm, to take Mitt Romney to task for-

    For calling it Stormocaust?

  • SugarFree||

    Sandallnacht.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    For referring to himself as the Stormin' Mormon.

  • Tim||

    Wait, wasn't Obama the guy who promised to lower sea levels? Somebody should call him out.

  • wareagle||

    planetary healing is an arduous process, even for The Obama.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I think he said technically that the rise of the seas was starting to slow. At the height of his hubris he knew to hedge. Too bad he lost all ability to manage expectations somewhere along the way.

  • ||

    He created or saved a change in sea level.

  • BigT||

    It would have been worse, much much worse, if Obama had not been Prez. NYC would have been completely wiped out.

    Wait, that would have been worse?

  • AlmightyJB||

    Obama would have had us living in utopia by now had it not been for those obstructionist republicans.

  • Big 'Orra||

    planetary healing is an arduous process, even for The Obama.

    Take that back you hater ... if we were just more worthy of Berry's grace, it'd be done already. We're not worthy!

  • Jerry on the road||

    Night of Long Dives.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    [Chia Obama sees Chia Johnson come up after he kills Chia Romney in the cargo hold]
    Chia Obama Two went down. One came up.
    Chia Johnson Wasn't my fault.
    Chia Obama Well, you don't have to tell me. Most murders are crimes of necessity rather than desire. But the great ones...Chia LBJ, Chia Roosevelt, Chia Jackson... they did it because it excited them.
    Chia Johnson Don't you... I got nothing in common with them — with you! Don't you talk to me! They were insane! And get that deep dish crap away from me!
    Chia Obama Now you're talking semantics. What if I told you insane was working a 50-hour week for 50 years, at the end of which they tell you to piss off. Without even a deep dish to eat. Ending up in some retirement village, hoping to die rather than suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time. Wouldn't you consider that to be insane? Those people DESERVE what they get from the rich! THEY ARE ENTITLED TO IT. IT’S NOT INSANE, IT’S FAIR.
    Chia Johnson Murdering 30,000 people, semantics or not, is insane. As is your fiscal policy. See the way the market works is-
    Chia Obama [interrupts and smiles] One girl, I drove through fifty seven states wearing her head as a hat.
    Chia Johnson It's my daughter's birthday, so please feel free not to share everything with me.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    (Earlier, possibly a flashback, there’s some hazy stuff, but we’re really not sure. Strange things can happen in the offices…)
    Chia Obama Captain, Captain... Save your strength, Captain. These people have sworn to live and die at my command 300 years before you were born. Do you mean he never told you the tale? To amuse your Captain, no? Never told you how the Starship Libertopia picked up the HMS Solyndra, lost in space since January 2013 with myself and the ship's company in cryogenic freeze?
    Chia Romney I never even met Admiral Palin. And stop calling me captain. You realize that ‘Captain of Industry’ is just a euphemism, right?
    Chia Obama 'Admiral?' ... Never told you how Admiral Palin sent 70 of us into exile in this barren sandheap with only the contents of these cargo bays to sustain us?
    Chia Johnson You lie! In Ceti Alpha Hampshire there was life! A fair chance...
    Chia Obama THIS IS CETI ALPHA HAMPSHIRE! [walks back to Chia Johnson and calms voice] Ceti Alpha Chussettes exploded six months after we were left here. The shock shifted the orbit of this planet and everything was laid waste. Admiral Palin never bothered to check on our progress. It was only the fact of my Harvard-honed intellect that allowed us to survive. On Earth, 300 years ago, I was a prince with power over millions...
    Chia Johnson Captain Palin was your host. You repaid her hospitality by trying to steal his ship and murder her!

  • Whiterun Guard||

    [Back in the present, unambiguously]
    Chia Obama Johnson! Pick up. Pick UP! [Johnson spins around, looking at the phone Chia Obama is speaking through] C'mon buddy - pick up the 'phone.
    Chia Johnson "Buddy," huh? Son of a bitch, you tried to kill me. The friendship is over.
    Chia Obama Well, that doesn't mean I don't like you. Hell - I'm impressed. I'd have figured you'd have picked up and walked off by now. Like that son-of-a-bitch Chia Clinton.
    Chia Johnson Yeah? Well, you figured wrong. Now I've got the nukes. Guess what, Barrack? I'm gonna deactivate 'em. [begins punching random keys on the bomb's keypad, beeping is heard through Deakins' end of the line] You hear that? That's me punching in the wrong codes. Pretty soon these things are gonna be absolutely useless. Might as well turn around and drive away. In your Volt you mom jean wearing sissy.
    Chia Obama [Mockingly] Outstanding, Gary! That's the spirit! Damn, I'm totally screwed now. Unless of course I already thought of that ahead of time. [The bomb arms] Didn't work, did it? I used uncoded circuit boards. You just activated a nuclear warhead, my friend. Setting off a nuke in this desert has been part of my plan from day one. Otherwise some D.C. civilian might say, I haven't got the guts.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Chia Stein He's man-sane.
    Chia Obama You know, Gary, I considered bringing you in on this. You know why I didn't?
    Chia Johnson Because I would have said "no"?
    Chia Obama Nah, if you'd said "no" I'd have just killed you; I was afraid that you were going to say "yes"! 'Cause you don't have the balls to follow through with something like this, we both know that.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    [Voice over, a familiar voice, yet one who has not been heard as of yet]
    Secret Narrator Gary, the whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a handful of deep dish, and see not the deep dish, but a mystery, a marvel, there in your hand, every time you stop and think, "I'm alive, and being alive is fantastic!" Every time such a thing happens, Gary, you are part of the Circus of Dr. Lao.

  • Tim||

    You were up all night with this weren't you?

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Maybe WG was Herc

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    My first thought seeing that was Hercule is back. Glad I wasn't the only one.

  • ||

    So they are all Chia pets? That would explain a lot, actually.

  • T||

    I told you not to smoke that crap the Liberians sell as marijuana, but you just wouldn't listen.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Monrovia, I'm still in Monrovia.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    What? Hey, I am.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    I got that reference literally two seconds after I hit submit. :(

  • Enough About Palin||

    Needs [moar] BRACKETS.

  • Bee Tagger||

    President Obama says he's like to create a new Cabinet-level "Secretary of Business" if re-elected.

    You mean, Secretary of Business As Usual, right?

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Secretary of Monkey Business: Gary Hart

  • Tim||

    Are monkeys paying their fair share?

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Racist!

  • DJF||

    The long title is “Secretary of Crony Business”.

  • Brett L||

    So he'll elevate the president of GE from his economic advisory council to his Cabinet? Guess the fluorescent bulb mandate isn't a big enough profit center for GE.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    I would make Chris Tucker the Secretary of Bid-ness.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Chris Tucker? Do you also promise to reduce spending to Clinton-era levels like you've done with pop culture references?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    You just gave WG the business.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    I don't know the 2010s version of Chris Tucker!!! Who took the throne from him?

  • ||

    Kevin Hart?

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Chris Rock took the throne from Chris Tucker.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    I thought they were contemporaries. Or if anything I saw I'm Gonna Git You Sucka before I saw Friday or The Fi5th Element.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    I was thinking since Chris Rock still has a career by being you know funny that he was the king. But you're right they both started about the same time.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Hitler?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    And here I thought we already had a ...whatdoyoucallit...Secretary of Commerece.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    And look how much he has to do with business...

  • BigT||

    What's needed is a Secretary of That's None of the Gov's Business.

  • Art Vandelay||

    Who will be the Secretary of The Rent is Too Damn High?

  • Whiterun Guard||

    And who for the Secretary of You Didn't Build That?

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Some Georgeist probably.

  • The Craig||

    Well, in the interview he says he will consolidate agencies into one and then name a Secretary of Business.

    I know, I know, bullshit, but just sayin'.

  • Trespassers W||

    This idea is the most terrifying thing I've heard out of the Obama lately, and that's saying something.

  • hotsy totsy||

    Like all the other Cabinet Secretaries he doesn't meet with?

  • Lord Humungus||

    Video: The Messy, Dangerous Task of Cleaning Up After Dead Bodies
    http://www.wired.com/wiredscie.....-clean-up/

    People die every day. Whether by natural causes, murder or suicide, the one thing you can count on is death. The unlucky ones die without family or friends surrounding them, alone. Inevitably even these forgotten corpses are noticed. Perhaps a neighbor notices a foul smell emanating from the house next door. The police arrive, then the coroner. Eventually the body is taken away.

    But what happens then?

    Who cleans up the potentially hazardous, biological mess that’s left behind? To find out, Wired followed Steri-Clean, a company that specializes in bio-remediation, including cleaning up after dead bodies have been removed from a scene.
  • Whiterun Guard||

    This (or actually a story just like it) was actually the kernel that started Tarantino writing Pulp Fiction.

  • sticks||

    That would not disprove the idea that he has never had an original idea.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    I wouldn't hold that against him. He's pretty up front about being a rip-off artist/homage maker.

    I mean who has had an original idea ever in film. And I'd watch the worst Tarantino film ever over some pretentious, and yet also crappy Terrence Malick garbage.

  • sticks||

    I don't hold it against him much. He mostly makes good movies.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Yeah, that's the way I feel. I mean in every interview I hear him in, he's never saying he's going to re-define movies or anything. He sets out to make GOOD movies and pretty much succeeds.

    People pile crap on him and try and contend that he makes GREAT movies (and frankly he has made a couple, just my opinion), but that's not coming from him. At least not that I've heard.

  • SugarFree||

  • sticks||

    I was disappointed when my dad showed me the clip from some Scorsese (not sure) documentary where the famous needle in the chest scene was taken from(someone tells the story of an od and subsequent solution). I felt cheated somehow at the time. I thought it was Tarantino's mind that came up with it. Still he filmed it quite well.

    Now I'd probably just feel bad for my own lack of film knowledge.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    I like his movies but I hate it when he insists on being in them. He's a shit actor, pretty much the worst you'll ever see in a feature film.

  • ||

    At least he had the decency to kill himself off in Reservoir Dogs, but imagine what a real actor could have done with his role in Pulp Fiction

  • Ice Nine||

    Make it not look like a plausible real hapless doofus, I'm betting.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    When I saw Pulp Fiction I'd heard of Tarantino but had no idea what he looked like (hadn't seen Reservoir Dogs yet then). I was getting into the movie but couldn't believe how incredibly bad this guy playing "Jimmy" was. Not only bad, but horribly miscast. Just awful all around. I figured at that point that he must be the director's brother or boyfriend.

  • ||

    I thought Jimmy made the entire movie. By far my favorite character. Didn't figure out it was actually QT until years after.

    Of course, I judge movies by asking myself how much I was entertained by it, so what the hell do I know?

  • mr simple||

    That's a false choice; there are other watchable writer/directors out there. Not many, but a few.

  • Zeb||

    Who does have original ideas? Pretty much all art refers to something else. Expecting true originality from artists is even more futile than expecting sane political beliefs from artists.

  • Lord Humungus||

    In my book: Tarantino = talentless hack.

    But each to his own.

  • Zeb||

    Certainly a hack, but I'd say he has some talent.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    To me, he's the anti-James Cameron.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    In my book: Tarantino = talentless hack.

    You motherfucka!

  • Enough About Palin||

    Sunshine Cleaning:

    In order to raise the tuition to send her young son to private school, a mom starts an unusual business -- a biohazard removal/crime scene clean-up service -- with her unreliable sister.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0862846/

  • db||

    This morning, I was thinking about the Presidential pardoning power. What would I do with it, were I the President? I think what I would do is direct all employees of the DEA to begin reviewing and investigating the records of all people incarcerated in the US for drug possession, possession with intent to distribute, and manufacturing. Their instructions would be clear: Look for any evidence of actual violent acts, acts of coercion or anything resulting in actual physical or economic harm to others. Those people don't get pardons. Everyone else, the DEA gets to go to Phase II, which is to write pardon recommendations for those individuals. Of course there would be a group of folks dedicated to auditing the DEA's results to make sure they were complying with orders on this subject.

    So my thought is, for disqualifying acts:

    Violent acts during the commission of the 'crime' (other then resisting arrest)

    Violent acts since incarceration

    Destruction of property, theft, etc., during the original crime

    By no means do I think this list is complete, but I think it's an interesting thought exercise. Certainly not everyone in prison on drug charges is worthy of release, but maybe the majority are. What are the proper criteria? What else would you add as disqualifiers for a pardon?

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Stems and sticks.

    Selling to hipsters.

    Sideways baseball caps.

    Being on my lawn.

  • Jam||

    Pardon all tax dodgers

  • ||

    FREE WESLEY!!!!

  • mr simple||

    I agree on disqualifying anyone who committed an actual crime with real victims (i.e., not society or the state). I disagree on violent acts since incarceration. Jail can cause people to do bad things to survive and these people wouldn't be there if it weren't for these draconian drug laws.

  • db||

    Regardless of the circumstances, a person is always responsible for his actions. Committing an act of violence on another shouldn't be excused. It's one thing to fight back if attacked, an entirely other thing to initiate.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    How about rehabilitation for those who have committed violent acts in jail, but not sever ones (no one needed serious medical attention, and not just because the guards stopped them), and haven't shown any violent tendencies in a long time.

  • db||

    That's fair enough.

  • nicole||

    Yeah, but do you trust who's keeping records of that shit in prisons? I don't.

  • db||

    No I don't. That's why the DEA employees are going to be doing a very thorough investigation, going into prisons and interviewing inmates and guards and administrators alike. On the plus side maybe they'll see some of the damage they've done.

  • ||

    You fucker! Grrr! Um, I mean...Top O' The Morning, FoE! -)))

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    All you have to do is get here right at 9AM EDT, read through a couple links quickly and then craft some lame-o joke out of one and post it. How difficult is that?

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Actually I tried that today, unfortunately, it didn't make it to the servers over here in Liberia until 1300.23, giving you a 23 second head start.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    I actually feel a little bad. You deserved top post with that.

  • Lord Humungus||

    The Supreme Court Exposes Obama's Circular Logic on Wiretapping
    http://www.tnr.com/blog/plank/.....retapping#

    As part of its concerted campaign to prosecute whistleblowers and to classify state secrets, the Obama administration has taken a position in Clapper that makes the Bush administration pro-secrecy campaign seem pale in comparison: namely, that no one can challenge warrantless surveillance unless the government tells you in advance that you’re being surveilled—which national security interests prevent it from doing. When Bush administration offered milder versions of the same arguments, the civil liberties community rose up in protest. Verrilli, for his part, was met by vigorous skepticism from the Supreme Court's liberal justices.
  • Fist of Etiquette||

    President Obama says he's like to create a new Cabinet-level "Secretary of Business" if re-elected.

    There's that pandering dialect of Obama's again.

  • Jerryskids||

    "Secretary of Business"? What would you call the agency he heads? The Department of Commerce, maybe? Having a Department of Commerce to complement the Department of Labor might not be a bad idea. Somebody should get right on creating that.

  • Zeb||

    Isn't there already a Dept. of Commerce?

  • ||

  • Pro Libertate||

    The guy's a complete economic moron.

  • Art Vandelay||

    Wait 'til you see his 5 year plan!

  • sarcasmic||

    Daily Fail is pretty pathetic today.
    Candice Swanepoel is still hot
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....shoot.html
    while Courtney Love is still a talentless skank.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....ar-it.html

  • ||

    I wonder what the dog makes of this:

    Mother-of-Two Breastfeeds Her Dog in Front of Her Kids to "Feel Complete" and Like a Better Mom

    http://www.medicaldaily.com/ar.....rL6jkLR.99
  • db||

    Belongs in a Heinlein book. Hell, many of our headlines these days do.

  • tarran||

    I thought his prediction of the Crazy Years was merely a plot device. Instead it's eerily prescient.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Aren't dogs like deathly allergic to milk or something.

  • db||

    Sucks that they're mammals, then.

    Take that, Dogs! --God.

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    It's chocolate, if I recall rightly. I'm allergic to the critters, so I've never had one.

  • ||

    Yep. Chocolate is lethal to dogs.

  • db||

    Many years ago my ex-GF was house sitting over Christmas for a family who had a cute dog. She was a veterinary student at the time. It was nice--we'd go over to the house, feed the dog, check the doors and windows, and fuck like animals.

    One evening we came by the house and found that these idiots had left a full box of chocolates under the tree and the dog had got into it. There was chocolate dog shit and barf everywhere. It looked like the dog would eat some, shit or vomit it elsewhere, then go back and get some more. We spent an entire night cleaning the house after this mess. The dog ended up being fine, but the ownets got some stern advice on how dangerous chocolate can be for dogs.

  • mnarayan||

    I read somewhere that this is not particularly true. Some breeds are a bit more sensitive to it than humans, but, IIRC, by less than 50%. The problem is just that dogs will eat a ridiculous amount of chocolate for their body size.

  • ||

    Dogs are incapable of metabolizing theobromine, a stimulant similar to caffeine which is highly concentrated in chocolate. The stimulant builds up in their system and causes arrhythmia.

  • mnarayan||

    According to wikipedia, source of all knowledge in this world, dogs can metabolize theobromine. The process is slower than for humans, but with a half-life of 17.5 hours, its not exactly a long-term danger.

    The two big reasons that we consider chocolate to be poisonous to dogs but not humans appear to be 1) dogs will eat baking chocolate and 2) dogs will eat a lot of anything, even if they have to alternate the eating with vomiting to do so.

  • ||

    Well I remember from medicinal enzymology that dogs lack the CYP450 enzyme that turns theobromine's methyl group into an alcohol. Dogs have to go through a much more complex way of solubilizing theobromine.

  • ||

    Ah! Looks like I was mistaken, as I had a neighbour whose dog did indeed die of chocolate poisoning. A chow, to be precise.

    I stand corrected. Humblest of apololgies -))

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Veterinarian Michelle DeHaven says the worst case of chocolate poisoning she ever saw happened when some owners fed their eight-pound poodle a pound of chocolate on his birthday.

    I'm pretty sure that a 160lb person that ate 20lbs of chocolate in one sitting would get sick as hell too.

  • ||

    You would be correct, VG. The LD50 for theobromine is about 1000 mg/kg or so.

  • mnarayan||

    A person would also probably stop eating it after they started vomiting out of both ends.

  • Zeb||

    So I suppose tea is bad for dogs as well if it is the theobromine.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Probably, although fewer dogs will drink tea than will eat chocolate.

  • ||

    Yep. Chocolate is lethal to dogs.

    In quantity.

    Our dog climbed on a table to get at a bowl of Valentines Chocolates. We immediately called the Vet. She told us they they use a percentage of body weight to determine toxicity. I can't remember the exact ratio, but it required 3-4 pounds for a 40 pound dog to have issues. The dog was fine. Shit everywhere, but lived.

    A couple of Hershey Kisses won't kill your Lab.

  • ||

    After reading the link the Doc posted, I'd go with that. It was white chocolate my dog ate, which according to the article, is significantly less toxic.

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    My understanding is it causes the dog to experience hyperactivity and a high heart rate. Smaller dogs can handle the higher heart rate better than larger dogs. We have pomeranians, and they have gotten into the chocolate. Like living with a canine meth addict. They are up all night, tearing around the house. Then they crash after the drug is metabolized.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    What about chocolate milk then.

  • ||

    I am pleased as punch you like your new toy, IFH.-)))

  • ||

    Pictures, or it didn't happen.

  • Lord Humungus||

    The rise of hate in the age of Obama
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....ml?hpid=z9

    In 2008, anti-black attitudes were held by 48 percent of Americans surveyed. Today, that number is 51 percent. When implicit racial attitudes are measured, that statistic jumps to 56 percent. The viewpoint is even worse for Hispanics: A poll done last year showed that anti-Latino attitudes were held by 52 percent of non-Hispanic whites. On the implicit racial attitudes test, the negative views of Hispanics goes to 57 percent. (The AP worked on the poll with NORC at the University of Chicago, the University of Michigan and Stanford University.)

    Explaining these disheartening results, Fredrick Harris, director of the Institute for Research in African-American Studies at Columbia University, told the AP, “Part of it is growing polarization within American society. . . . It will take more generations, I suspect, before we eliminate these deep feelings.”
  • tarran||

    You know, I guess Barack has accomplished one thing... all his attempts to incite interracial conflict are starting to pay off.

  • ||

    No, no, tarran. You're missing the overall narrative here. The premise is that The Zero's mere presence is an excercise in mass confirmation bias.

    Meaning, the attitudes were surely always there, but it took him to flush them out.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    No shit.

    An incompetent asshole calls everyone that doesn't love him a racist and "racial" acrimony increases.

    It's almost like the two are related or something.

  • ||

    this

  • Zeb||

    How do they figure that out? Call people up and ask if they have anti-black attitudes?

    The Latino thing I find a bit more believable since there seem to be a lot of people offended by the notion that they might have to hear someone speaking Spanish, but still, how the hell to they get numbers on this?

  • nicole||

    Well I wasn't expecting this at all, but from the AP's questions starting on page 15 we have "How much do you like or dislike each of the following groups?" with "whites," "blacks," and "Hispanics" listed. There are also "do you think X group has too much influence" and things like "How well does each of these words describe most blacks?" (friendly, law-abiding, hard-working, violent, lazy, etc.) as well as agree/disagree with things like "It’s really a matter of some people just not trying hard enough; if blacks would only try harder, they could just be as well off as whites."

  • Zeb||

    Interesting. I wonder how many had anti-white attitudes? Still an awful lot of interpretation. Maybe I should read the article. Probably better to work.

  • R C Dean||

    When implicit racial attitudes are measured,

    I'm calling bullshit on the whole narrative, right here.

    Its definitionally impossible to measure implicit racial attitudes.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Uncle Leo is complaining that his live in girlfriend is an anti-Semite. To which Jerry responds, "She lives with you, can you blame her?"

  • Tim||

    THis fucking storm is probably Obama's last opportunity to flip the polls back in his favor, if only his media lackeys can pump up the hysteria.

  • Bee Tagger||

    I imagine historians are salivating at the thought of being able to regale future Matt Lauers with tales of how a hurricane swung the election of 2012.

  • Bardas Phocas||

    From ancient times, it's been the custom to blame the King or emperor for natural disaster. It signals to the peasants that the emperor has lost the mandate of heaven.
    Economic depression
    +Drought
    +Devastating Storms
    +Comets
    +Lambs being born with two heads
    = Obama is toast

  • Ice Nine||

    if only his media lackeys can pump up the hysteria.

    I'm thinking something along the lines of this maybe.

  • db||

    Only 8 days, 15 hrs, 55 min to go.

  • db||

    7 days.

  • Brett L||

    I'm voting in 3 hours. Then I can tune all this shit out.

  • mad libertarian guy||

    You weren't tuning it out all along? The fuck?

    All everything election related is noise, and I sure as fuck can't wait until they turn down the fucking volume. On all of it.

    JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

  • Brett L||

    I actually tried to cipher through the state Constitutional amendments. And then I thought, "fuck it, none of this shit is so important it deserves to be in the Constitution."

    Also, I had to think real hard about which of the two independents I was voting for in the Senate race. The crazy guy who can't spell 'axe', or the crazy guy who wants each lawmaker to submit a budget and then take the 'average' of all 535. (whatever the fuck that means). I'm seriously considering voting for Connie Mack XI.

  • ||

    I too am undecided on the amendments. I like your reasoning though, and will probably adopt it as my own.

  • robc||

    My Mother always said, "Vote no on amendments, a yes vote costs you money."

    This is almost universally right, I have found a few exceptions over the years. Very few.

  • hotsy totsy||

    I voted yes on the legalize and tax marijuana initiative.

    Also in Colorado we have the TABOR Amendment in our Constitution which says basically that taxes can only be raised indexed to inflation or at the vote of the people.

    Politicians hate it.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I think Amendment 1 might be a reasonable one to vote yes on, but the rest should be nos. Even the tempting one to ease the tax burden on small businesses--we all need to feel the pain if we want a real change in tax laws, after all.

    My philosophy with state constitutional amendments is that the constitution is no place for "superlegislation" and should be limited to foundational provisions about the structure and function of government. So my default is no.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Apparently, every 30 years Ohio has to ask citizens if they'd like a constitutional convention. Our state constitution is so larded up with crap I figured "why not?" and voted yes.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    A constitutional convention, eh? Can we hold it in Vega$?

  • ||

    Don't forget to vote "no" on anything that raises taxes, like the 0.5c sales tax increase for Leon Co. schools. My ex is trying to get me to vote for that one because we have a kid in school. I just cackle mirthlessly.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Absolutely. Never, ever vote for a tax increase or a new tax.

  • ||

    I don't even vote "yes" on bond issues. A tax increase, even with sunset provisions, is intractable.

    Much like toll roads.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I'm getting calls from family about how to vote on the amendments. I give them my recommendations but also add that "no" is virtually always a good choice.

    Also, none of the state Supreme Court justices should be retained, if anyone wants my opinion.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    About 90% of the time I vote against judge retention - even if they are a "good" judge - those folks are just too damn comfortable wielding power.

  • robc||

    I vote for whichever judge Ive never heard of. Run radio commercials or put up yard signs? No vote for you.

    Your Daddy head of the Metro council? Absolutely no vote for you.

  • Pro Libertate||

    It's a real task doing research on them, but I usually will retain a judge I think is okay.

    The judiciary is different from the other branches in that experience isn't wholly negative. An inexperienced judge can be a real curse for litigants.

  • Ted S.||

    I cast write-in votes for judges.

    It's how I became a victim of voter fraud in 2000: I went to cast my write-in votes, and my write-in votes from two years earlier were still there!

  • BakedPenguin||

    Ax guy sounds like a Ron Paulite, or at least a Constitution Party guy. Chris Borgia is against the drug war. I'd vote for either of them before Mack or Nelson.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I wish Mack were better.

  • Rhywun||

    I prefer "axe" but I always thought "ax" was correct too? You can go with that crazy guy.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Stephens: Barack Obama and Other Has-Beens
    Yesterday's man of destiny is today's peddler of spent ideas.
    http://online.wsj.com/article/.....on_LEADTop

    When the history of this administration is written, maybe someone will note the dissonance between the president's hip persona and his retro ideology. Here was a man who promised a "transformative" presidency. Yet when transformation came, it amounted to a two-pronged attempt to impose, from one side, a version of European social democracy by way of ObamaCare, and from the other side a version of Chinese state-directed "capitalism" by way of the stimulus.
  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    This is pretty close to the mark--the one thing that was striking about Obama's 2008 campaign was how much his ideology seemed rooted in 1970s liberalism.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Chicago is seeing growth in one of its traditional industries: homicide.

    It's because Obama stole their best and brightest for his inner circle. Hopefully the bullet tax will fix their woes.

  • DJF||

    What Chicago needs is for its community organizer to return from Washington.

  • ||

    but is the killing done for business or pleaasure? If the former... green shoots!

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Killing for profit is murder!

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Killing for murder is profitable?

  • Jordan||

    According to Keynesian logic, this qualifies as a stimulus. Somebody needs to write a book about a Keynesian economist who's really a serial killer.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Better yet, a terrorist.

    He's going to jump start the economy with man caused disasters.

  • robc||

    That would have been a better twist ending to Unbreakable.

  • Azathoth!!||

    Wasn't that Watchmen?

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    I'll get right on that.

  • Bobarian||

    Starring Paul Krugman as Dexter!

    A character you can feel absolutely no sympathy for.

  • SugarFree||

    The best hurricane news so far is that the entire set of gawker blogs is down. I'm sure the urgency of pap will get them up sometime soon.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Allysia Finley: Jerry Brown vs. the 99%
    To get a tax hike that will satisfy California's public unions, the governor pulls out the brass knuckles.
    http://online.wsj.com/article/.....on_LEADTop

    And without so much as lifting a finger, the governor has raised $50 million for his ballot campaign—nearly four times as much as the opposition. Public unions have kicked in more than $30 million. He has also extracted, er, collected about $5 million from corporations, according to financial filings with the secretary of state. His biggest corporate sponsors not coincidentally belong to the state's most heavily regulated industries—oil and gas, telecommunications, health and auto insurance and liquor.

    A spokeswoman for Occidental Petroleum (which has contributed $500,000 to the governor's campaign) explained in a statement that "like many other companies that are committed to doing business long-term in California, we're concerned about the state's continuing budget deficit."
  • wareagle||

    what sort of battered wife syndrome is required for living in CA?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    If only I paid more taxes, I'd be truly worthy of his love?

  • wareagle||

    like the says, LTC, love hurts.

  • ||

    Bad news for SugarFree - no Jezebel!

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Mother nature is also part of the patriarchy.

  • ||

    I've always thought it would be logically consistent for feminists to hate mother nature. The bitch did saddle womyn with uteruses, after all.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    From the article about the kid murdered by a cop:

    An internal investigation by the Cherokee County Sheriff's Office and the district attorney both found there was no criminal wrongdoing by Yarbrough.

    Surprise!

  • DJF||

    Suicide is a crime, so once again our brave police officers prevented another crime.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    The moral of the story is if you want to live, don't call the cops.

  • ||

    No, the moral is that if you want to die, don't do it yourself -trust the union label

  • Ptah-Hotep||

    At what point will people realize that calling the cops for help is not a good idea? Did the cops replace negotiators with SWAT?

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Apparently they have. The sniper had been on the scene for 20 minutes and did not know whether or not there were hostages in the house (there were none). He fired the killing shot within one minute of taking position.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    You snooze you lose.

  • SugarFree||

    They showed up with SWAT and a tank. The boy repeatedly asked to talk to his father and the pigs ignored him.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Yarbrough was on the scene less than 20 minutes before he pulled the trigger and admitted he didn't even know if there was a hostage inside.

    That's an organization professional enough to take deadly force seriously.

  • Brett L||

    His shift was over in another 10 and you know how traffic is.

  • Ice Nine||

    "We had to destroy the village in order to save it."

  • ||

    The Japanese invent a toilet that is also a goalkeeper.

    http://www.news.com.au/technol.....6506396064

  • Whiterun Guard||

    But. But. WHY?!

    I don't even.

    First french fry parties and now this.

    Well first crunchy panties (knickers!) then french fry parties and now this.

  • ||

    This comes from the same country that produced some nitwit that legally married his body pillow.

  • Ice Nine||

    Don't be so stodgy.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    They are a cute couple.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    This comes from the same country that produced some nitwit that legally married his body pillow.

    And they wonder why their population is shrinking...

  • ||

    Oh, HM, you magnificent bastard, so many ways to go with that one... -))))

  • ||

    I left too soon!!!

  • Lord Humungus||

    Undercover as a gay man
    I wanted to question my conservative Christian beliefs. So I "came out" to my family -- and my whole life changed
    http://www.salon.com/2012/10/2.....a_gay_man/

    The idea was simple enough, or so I thought: come out as gay to my family, friends, and church, and see how the label of gay would affect my life. It would be the ultimate chance to test everything that two decades of programming in the Independent Baptist Church had taught me.

    I’d lived in Nashville since I was two and loved it. Like most Southern cities, we lived at a much slower pace. It was a place of faith and Republican politics, where iced tea was the drug of choice and being a member of this church or that was more prestigious than belonging to a country club.
  • Nephi||

    Hilarity ensues?

  • wareagle||

    gee, you mean conservative christian means a traditional view of things? Who knew. Maybe the next story can center on a black man doing the same thing in any city, including ones in the North. I'll go on a limb and say his outing won't go over any better.

  • Brett L||

    If you read the article, his family is completely accepting of his coming out. How they'll feel about finding out it was all bullshit to sell a magazine article may be a different story.

  • wareagle||

    after reading it - and yes, I should have done that first instead of jumping to a conclusion - he seems more like a dick than a sympathetic figure. His default expectation was "my folks are going to be gay-bashing bigots because that's what everything around me says about people like them," and then he finds out they're like most parents.

    The reaction the lesbian he describes got from her family is the exception, not the rule, as far as I can tell. You're right; this guy's family is going to be much more pissed at being portrayed as bigots than in the story he gave them.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Dick move, sorry.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    Lying about your sexual orientation to get FUCK YOU DAD points with SWPLs--that doesn't make him gay, but it does make him a faggot.

  • Xenocles||

    Truer headline: "I wanted to sell a magazine article, so I lied about myself to my closest relatives."

  • SugarFree||

    He lives in Portland now. Are we sure he lied about being gay?

  • Doktor Kapitalism||

    Just about being a Southerner.

  • aelhues||

    The guys seems like a straight up jerk. Even his best friend says as much.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    OK, so has anyone seen the $43 trillion dollar lawsuit against The Banksters (tm) and the associated conspiracy theory on the nanny murders?

  • ||

    Link?

  • SugarFree||

    A highly biased source, but you get the idea of what they are trying to peddle.

  • ||

    highly biased? That's being kind. It's unmoored from reality.

  • SugarFree||

    I don't deal in 2nd-hand conspiracy theory around here, ma'am. I give it to you straight from the raving lunatics mouth.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    You should check out the original filing of the lawsuit. The plaintiffs list is about a mile long followed by the defendants list, which is only slightly shorter.

    The defendant's list is here: http://beforeitsnews.com/alter.....86742.html

  • SugarFree||

    After being called to the scene by a suicidal boy's parents, police in Cherokee County, Georgia, quickly dealt with the lad's woes — by taking him out with a sniper. Oh yes, they did.

    The comments on the original story are appropriately angry. A few copsuckers, but they are being torn to bits.

  • Brian D||

    Good shoot.

    sin,
    PoliceOne dipshits

  • Ted S.||

    Procedures were followed. Nothing else happened.

  • Lord Humungus||

    True Stories: I Hired A Sex Surrogate
    The new film The Sessions features Helen Hunt as a sex surrogate. Our writer details his own experience.
    http://www.nerve.com/love-sex/.....lping-hand

    With our limited social skills, it was hard to figure out how to meet girls, much less get them in bed. Around town, Scott and I saw plenty of women sitting alone and looking vaguely bored, but none of them pushed aside their books and iced lattés to rush to our sides. While we waited for this miracle to happen, I started browsing the personal ads, hoping to find something like "Hot, nurturing, extremely patient woman seeks obese, self-loathing virgin who masturbates too much." Instead, I found an ad for the Institute for Sexual Surrogate Therapy.

    Anxious to get an edge on Scott, I called to make an appointment. It turned out that before I could meet the surrogate and get down to business, I had to meet with Dr. Klein, the psychiatrist who ran the place. I wasn't sure what his qualifications were, but when I met him, he seemed impressive enough. His graying comb-over and wide, thick sideburns gave him an air of professionalism, and he sat behind an imposing glass desk in front of a wall of gleaming plaques. Still, to me, he was basically a medically licensed pimp.
  • John||

    Are you sure that wasn't Matthew Yglesias writing under a pseudonym?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    FTW. Please report to the next trhread, this one, she be closed.

  • tarran||

    I believe this is a prank, but it's funny nonetheless.

    Why is the government irresponsibly placing deer crossings on interstates?

  • Nephi||

    After being called to the scene by a suicidal boy's parents, police in Cherokee County, Georgia, quickly dealt with the lad's woes — by taking him out with a sniper. Oh yes, they did.

    "We thought that they would (be) experts in being able to diffuse the situation. And that was not what happened. Instead of the fire being put out, they brought gasoline," [the father] Nick Messina said.

  • Xenocles||

    Wow, did he actually say "diffuse?"

  • wareagle||

    isn't it amazing? They know lots of big words in north GA. Don't let the mountains in the background fool you; it's not far from ATL and all that big-city intelligence.

  • Xenocles||

    Except the correct word in this context is "defuse."

  • Xenocles||

    Just to be clear, I'm ragging on the reporter, not the father here.

  • wareagle||

    all good ---

  • wareagle||

    then your beef is with the moron who actually used the wrong spelling. Pretty sure the dad did not provide written responses.

    Of course, if I mention that poor spelling and lousy grammar are hardly uncommon among a certain group of society, a particular commenter here is likely to lose his mind.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    among a certain group of society


    Reporters?

  • ||

    Blaming Hurricane Sandy on the greedy and industrious is just as mad as blaming it on gays

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/n.....t-on-gays/

  • The Late P Brooks||

    President Obama says he's like to create a new Cabinet-level "Secretary of Business" if re-elected.

    I believe it was Pro Lib who said, "The business of America is giving you the business."

  • Pro Libertate||

    It seemed self-evident at the time. And now.

  • SugarFree||

  • ||

    even a stopped clock is right twice a day:

    unfortunately we have a lot of laws on the books that prohibit denser construction and force us onto this bad-infrastructure equilibrium.
  • Brett L||

    He's just missing a "unlike China, which is a great place" from having stolen Friedman's schtick.

  • SugarFree||

    While he is right on that, he completely misses the point that regulations aren't the only reason people don't live in his beloved cities. It's a very common delusion in liberal urban dwellers that everyone wants to live exactly how they do, but they are somehow being prevented.

    I enjoy having a backyard and a car and not sharing floors, ceilings and walls with a bunch of noisy fuckholes.

  • ||

    yeah but that's false consciousness.

    Look, I'm just happy any time anyone on Slate doesn't automatically blame teh korporashuns and/or the Koch Brothers for whatever is currently sanding their vaginas

  • ||

    Yes, but it still boils down to "If only the right people were in charge."

  • ||

    baby steps, MP, baby steps

  • John||

    ^^This^ This goes all they way back to the post war. Post war the New Deal top men wanted to build big Soviet style housing blocks. Nothing pissed them off more than when the market produced suburbs and ranch houses. The Pete Seger song "Tiny Boxes" is one of the most appalling elitist piece of shit songs ever written. It is basically the Leftists bemoaning that the people wanted the cake the market provided instead of the bread the party was going to give.

    The prog hatred of suburbs never stopped. The suburb is for them a symbol of people turning down government help and living as they like.

  • Ice Nine||

    Malvina Reynolds is pissed.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Community organizing is tough in the burbs.

  • Rhywun||

    Except for the part where the government did everything in its power to encourage the growth of suburbs.

  • db||

    I generally hate having neighbors. Sometimes you get a great one or even a tolerable one. But generally they're more concerned with what you do on your property than their own business. I live in the woods because I just hate having to hear their sounds, smell their cooking, and take part in their little dramas.

    Don't get me wrong--I love people as individuals, but I have a different level of tolerance for their bullshit. The evangelists for dense urban living can't understand this, and this puts the lie to their so called community spirit and empathy. Really all they want is to live surrounded by a like-thinking hive. That's fine for some, and I don't begrudge them that, but they should stop trying to tell those of us who prefer a little space how to live.

  • SugarFree||

    It's also a display of magical thinking: Everyone that lives in cities think like me, therefore living in cities makes people think like me! They refuse to understand self-segregation.

    It is basically the same case they make for public school. They've never grasped the simple idea: Familiarity breeds contempt.

  • nicole||

    Everyone that lives in cities think like me, therefore living in cities makes people think like me!

    Also, everyone that lives in cities thinks like me, and I don't know anyone else, therefore everyone thinks like me (and likes cities, or at least would if they had ever actually lived in one and realized how great it is).

    I just got back from a trip to NYC myself and it was like everyone was in a bad joke and had no self-awareness--they didn't know ANYONE who liked Romney so why on earth was CNN still talking about him like he had any chance at all?

  • ||

    How distressing nicole! MALE GAZE Welcome back! -)

    Also, the similarities b'twixt Nixon and Flopney are too numerous to ignore...

    This does not bode well, methinks.

  • nicole||

    Thank you, thank you.

    It was discovered yesterday that someone at work (in NYC) had "liked" Romney on Facebook and there was mass confusion. Not anger--just confusion. "It must be a mistake..."

  • John||

    Nicole I find people from the NE corridor know much less about the rest of the country than the rest of the country knows about them.

  • nicole||

    I have to agree. I used to be one of them!

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Nicole I find people from the NE corridor know much less about the rest of the country than the rest of the country knows about them.

    Puh-leez....

    Whatever gets you through the day, John.

  • Ted S.||

    Sorry, but I live up in Ulster County NY, and find that NYC types are insufferably bigoted, provincial, and self-centered but think they're cosmopolitan and broad-minded.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    John didn't say NYC, he cast his net over the whole Northeast. Including you.

  • Ted S.||

    They're really like that apocryphal Pauline Kael quote?

  • sarcasmic||

    Fireworks were recently legalized around here, so naturally people have been shooting them off.

    Me especially. I'm a bit of a pyro.

    So I'm setting off some mortars and it must have gotten the attention of the neighbors. I'm guessing this because they set off a mortar of their own. So I respond with another mortar and some firecrackers. They set off another mortar and a string of a hundred crackers. And so on and so forth until between the two of us we probably shot off fifty bucks worth of bangs and booms.

    I read in the paper a month ago that some lady complained to the town council about her neighbors shooting off fireworks at all times during the day. She requested that the town pass an ordinance putting limits in addition to those set by the state law. The town council told her that they don't pass laws that they can't enforce. We have no police department, and the sheriff and state troopers will only enforce the state statute. Someone suggested she get earmuffs for her shell shocked kitty cat.

    I love living in a small town.

  • db||

    My neighbors (nearest ones are about 150yd away) will occasionally get a gun out and plink. This often starts an escalating plinking session with shots coming from all around. Every once in a while I do the grand finale with an unsuppressed mag dump from the shorty M16 which makes an unhuman amount of noise.

  • sarcasmic||

    That happens here as well, minus the M16.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    "I love living in a small town."

    For the countery battery mortar fire?

    Oh, wait... the 'mind your own business' aspect. Got it.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    countery = country counter?

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Here's what I don't get: People who pitch their tents/park their RVs in crowded campgrounds to "get away from it all." What the fuck?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Careful, pointing out the difference between "travel" and "tourism" on these fora will get you labeled an "elitist Cosmo snob !!1!"

    And you don't want that, do you?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Cosmotarians everywhere!

  • Rhywun||

    I've lived in NYC for 15 years and not once has a neighbor ever given a shit what I do and vice versa. And if you get your understanding of city living from the NYT, you're not getting an accurate picture.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I don't care much for urban living. Green grass, trees, space. . . .

    Green acres is the place for me.
    Farm livin' is the life for me.
    Land spreadin' out so far and wide
    Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

    New York is where I'd rather stay.
    I get allergic smelling hay.
    I just adore a penthouse view.
    Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

    ...The chores.
    ...The stores.
    ...Fresh air.
    ...Times Square

    You are my wife.
    Good bye, city life.
    Green Acres we are there.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    He's a little bit country, she's a little bit rock and/or roll?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yes, similar concept.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Rural patriarchist!

  • mad libertarian guy||

    That's only because you're a racist rat bagging tea fucker.

    Why the fuck would I want to leave my 4300 ft^2 house on 5 acres where I can (generally) do as I like without anyone at all giving a shit, and move to a shoe box in the city where virtually everyone feels they have not only the right, but the responsibility to tell me how I should and shouldn't live my life?

  • Brett L||

    Being able to piss off my back porch without anyone noticing is a requirement for me.

  • Pro Libertate||

    That's pretty much anywhere in Leon County, right?

  • Pagan Priestess||

    This also keeps the deer out of your garden ;)

  • ||

    The near universal support for Planning and Zoning is the ultimate evidence that any sort of libertarian uprising is an absurd notion.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Y'all really need to get your own compounds, ASAP. I highly recommend it.

  • Brett L||

    This just about sums up how I see Russia.

    Life News, a popular muckraking website with close ties to the police and security services, said the building where the brothel was located on Rozhdestvensky Boulevard had been rented out by the monastery.

    However, an attendant at the monastery was quoted as saying: "Some time ago we rented premises for our seminary. The bordello was only found then, when we started to check which rooms had become temporarily ours, and which hadn't. This establishment had been there for a long time; it belongs to someone and has absolutely no connection to us.

  • ||

    Before the Reformation the best brothels in London were run by the Bishop of Winchester. Nothing really to do with this story, but it always amused me

  • Brett L||

    Reminds me of the opening scene of "Becket". In which Burton and O'Toole put on period costumes and play themselves, drinking and wenching.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Hey, I like that movie.

  • Brett L||

    Oh, I do, too. But you have to admit that in 1964, O'Toole and Burton probably just changed into their costumes and re-enacted the previous night for their drinking scenes.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Ever see My Favorite Year? That's a really good movie that doesn't get enough love, if you ask me.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Seconded.

  • PapayaSF||

    It's a good one, and Jessica Harper is a doll in it.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    After being called to the scene by a suicidal boy's parents, police in Cherokee County, Georgia, quickly dealt with the lad's woes — by taking him out with a sniper.

    "Do something, even if it's wrong" is not actually good advice.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "Had that officer not taken the action, there is a good chance one of those negotiators that was there who also has a family, also would not be going home today," Garrison said.

    OFFICER SAFETY IS PRIORITY ONE.

  • Ptah-Hotep||

    Andrew Messina was inside the house holding the gun, and hit the top pane of glass with the gun. Negotiators were standing outside the house behind a wall around the corner from the door.

    .

    You can not be too careful when dealing with someone who can make a trick shot like that.

  • hotsy totsy||

    How do you sink that far in a bureaucracy to be able to wrap your mind around that kind of logic?

    Wouldn't be going home today? Just go the fuck home!! If you're so damn worried about your own safety, why show up?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    ...blocked by a judge who cynically suggested that it might have been crafted to limit political competition.

    That judge must have been an appointee.

  • John||

    Dennis Miller: "I'm in New York. Bloomberg just warned people if storm does drive them to cannibalism, they should not use salt on their fellow citizens."

  • db||

    Sweet.

  • Delroy||

    Mmmmmm....long pig.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Too soon.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    there is a good chance one of those negotiators that was there who also has a family, also would not be going home today," Garrison said.

    Was the kid wearing a suicide vest?

    Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with those fucking pigs?

  • ||

    Actually, the name is very appropos, as "sretenskij" in Old Church Slavonic literally means "meeting."

    Truth in advertising, no?

  • ||

    This was in response to Brett L @ 9:21. Fuck you squirrelz.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    The Squirrelz are angry that we now have &s

  • Brett L||

    Da, tovarich.

  • sarcasmic||

    Dude, he broke a window!
    He broke a fucking window!
    There's broken glass out there!
    Broken glass!
    Can't let an officer step on broken glass!

    HE BROKE A FUCKING WINDOW!

    TAKE HIM OUT! TAKE HIM OUT!

  • Xenocles||

    He broke a window? Give him a medal!

  • hotsy totsy||

    He broke a window? Stimulus!

  • SugarFree||

    Ugly Baby Leads To Lawsuit For Fraud

    Jian Feng divorced his wife after she gave birth to an "incredibly ugly" baby (his words) that didn't resemble either one of them, causing him to accuse her of cheating. That's when she admitted to spending almost $100,000 on plastic surgery to undergo the transformation seen above.
  • ||

    Imagine the outrage he would have if the wife was, unbeknownst to him, a post op and was unable to get pregnant at all, or had her tubes tied and neglected to mention that.

    That said, he needs to take a lesson in allele expression and genetics.

  • Ice Nine||

  • Ice Nine||

    Good URL; don't ask me.

  • ||

    Ok. That's all I know, Icy. -)

  • Ice Nine||

    Strange, it was dead 15min ago.

  • John||

    That link froze my computer with a picture of the ugly woman taking up most of the screen. You really do hate the world don't you?

  • Citizen Nothing||

    I though every parent believed their own infants were the most beautiful in the world until I had my (premature) twins. God were they ugly, at least until they got a little meat on their bones. My son looked like a half-boiled chicken and my daughter like one of those grey aliens.
    Now, of course, they are the most beautiful seven-year-olds in the history of creation. True story.

  • ||

    ^That made me laugh. I had the same experience. I thought he maybe should have stayed in there a few more months. It didn't help that the doctor put some suction cup on his head to pull him out, which pulled his soft skull into a bright red cone shape.

  • ||

    I'm glad someone else can admit that there are ugly babies in the world, and damn, even your own twins! For the most part, though, it seems people are a lot more sincere than Elaine in the Hamptons episode of Seinfeld.

  • ||

    That comment was breathtaking, gB. -)

  • mad libertarian guy||

    I'm glad someone else can admit that there are ugly babies in the world

    There are PLENTY of ugly babies in the world. It's just that neither of mine were ever one of them.

  • Big 'Orra||

  • tarran||

    Teacher gets laid off due to budget cuts. She opens her own school secretly because LA won't give her a license.

    California teacher holds secret class

    Naturally it's all the fault of the nassssssty supporters of smaller government...

    Centinela Valley Adult School has not reinstated their Medical Assistant course, said Jose Fernandez, Superintendent of the Centinela Valley Union High School District. If one of the two state education tax initiatives are approved in the November election, the board will address the possibility of bringing it back.
  • Mike M.||

    Bad news I'm afraid for Shrieking Idiot and Chony Krugnuts: Rasmussen now has Romney leading Obama in Ohio for the first time.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Rasmussen is a Republican polling firm! Not accurate! etc etc

  • John||

    In Virginia Obama is running "big scary Romney will repeal Roe v. Wade" ads. The fact that Obama is still trying to motivate the "I want my free abortion" vote a week out from the election tells me he is in a lot of trouble.

  • Xenocles||

    I saw opposing Senate ads come on back to back. The first complained that George Allen will cut education funding, and the second complained that Tim Kaine has cut education funding.

  • John||

    Those Allen ads make me want to vote for Kaine. I want someone with a proven record of cutting education funding.

  • wareagle||

    but George is a Repub and Timmy is a Dem. The alleged intentions of the R are always far worse than the actions of the D.

    Wow....did your head explode when you saw that or have you invented a new drinking game? Net effect on voters: they're too busy laughing at the ads to take either man seriously.

  • Xenocles||

    I live in VA, but I vote in WA. But I agree with John's reaction.

  • Lord Humungus||

    related: The List: Which presidential polls were most accurate?
    http://blog.chron.com/txpotoma.....-accurate/

    [2008] On average, the polls slightly overestimated Obama’s strength. The final polls showed the Democratic ahead by an average of 7.52 percentage points — 1.37 percentage points above his current 6.15-point popular vote lead. Seventeen of the 23 surveys overstated Obama’s final victory level, while four underestimated it. Only two — Rasmussen and Pew — were spot on.
  • $park¥||

    Funny, Warren is doing the same thing in Mass.

  • ||

    He's doing that because it's the only easily discernible difference between Democrats and Republicans these days, and in fact it's not necessarily even a difference with regard to R0mb0t.

  • wareagle||

    the left keeps telling me it's not so until and unless Nate Silver says it's so.

  • Lord Humungus||

    Bob Krumm on Nate Silver:

    AJStrata, a statistician who works with Global Positioning Systems, says it well. He cautions readers to be wary of “ridiculously precise models using data that has enormous error bars. Where Keplerian physics is well understood and can be modeled precisely enough that the incertitude of the samples [one] measures makes little difference to the outcome, in politics, “the dynamics of what is being sampled (the electorate) is very poorly understood.”

    The progressive is particularly prone to being fooled by the supposed certainty of expertise. It is an ideology that believes that if the right power can be placed into the hands of experts capable of understanding and controlling the complex, then the world will be a better place. If one already accepts that the value of currency, the nation’s entire health care network, and even the planet’s climate are not so complicated that a smart expert with good intentions could predict and control outcomes, then certainly Nate Silver, a billiant and well-intentioned man, is capable of solving a minor problem of math down to the tenth of a point.

    note: can't link to the page since it's flagged as spam. Just google "Bob Krumm"

  • Mike M.||

    Good old Nate Silver, the "professional" poker player who has never even cashed in a single noteworthy tournament in his life.

  • John||

    He is proof that there is a good living to be made for idiots who tell lefties what they want to hear.

  • R C Dean||

    Nate, who has actually upped the probability that Obama will win as poll after poll shows Romney with the lead nationally and closing with Obama or growing his lead in swing states.

  • PapayaSF||

    Seriously. He doesn't seem to see anything wrong with polls that assume higher Democrat turnout than in 2008. I somehow don't think we'll see D+5 or D+7 or D+11(!) when current party ID is running roughly even or even with an edge to the Rs.

  • T||

    Didn't Rasmussen and Pew come closest last cycle, or am I misremembering?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Rasmussen has pretty much hit it for a couple now. Pew, I dunno?

  • ||

    One for the electronic music fans - Giorgio Moroder is posting his oldies and rarities to soundcloud

    http://soundcloud.com/giorgiomoroderoldies

  • Lord Humungus||

    will check out when I'm at home - work computer blocks soundcloud

  • The Late P Brooks||

    At various points this morning, the talking heads have been talking about the effect of the storm on the election campaign.

    Is there anybody who doesn't already know about the election?

  • John||

    The power is out. Someone might not realize that Romney plans to repeal roe v. wade and the 13th Amendment. This is important shit Brooks.

  • ||

    It does make me wonder what would've happened if this storm had hit next Monday.

  • hotsy totsy||

    And also legalize rape!

  • ||

    Secretary of Business? Wow. Is this person going to head the Ministry of Business (or minibiz)? It's like they're using 1984 as a manual for governing.

  • ||

    At least more of the onion layers are falling away. I don't see how The Messiah can any longer shirk away the Socialist label.

    Take the latest adds of how The Messiah will Invest in Manufacturing. WTF? Is there anything he doesn't think the government should be doing? Oh yeah...no there isn't.

  • tagtann||

    OK, I am no fan of Obama, but one thnig I know for sure. If Romneys lips are moving, he is lying.

    www.iz-anon.tk

  • ||

    He's not "lying", he's just not revealing his true policy ideas so that he can't be accused of lying later. You see, tagtann, the key to being a good politician is not letting yourself get pinned into any sort of corner, so that you can always Etch-a-sketch or shimmy your way out of it later.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    I want someone with a proven record of cutting education funding.

    Nice.

  • John||

    Sweet


    Q. Awkward Encounter: I was recently on an adult website and clicked on an amateur home video. I recognized the performers as my supervisor with her husband. I am hoping they both willingly put it online, but knowing how fiercely private she is, I doubt it. I know she had her personal laptop stolen a couple of years ago when a thief broke into her car and my guess is that he/she got a hold of this. The footage is grainy but someone who knows her well would instantly recognize her face (and the rest of her, I suppose). I feel compelled to alert her, but how? My supervisor is not the most rational person and I fear she might fire me because of the embarrassment and awkwardness. I thought of leaving an anonymous note but it seems cruel, because she'd be forever wondering which one of her co-workers, friends, neighbors, fellow parent at her child's school, etc. saw the clip. Should I tell her?

  • sarcasmic||

    I'd leave a few full-color screenshots along with the url in places where they could be easily found without it being obvious as to who left them there. Like next to the printer or something.

    Yes, I'm a dick.

  • John||

    But how could you blackmail her if she didn't know who had the pictures?

  • sarcasmic||

    Who said anything about blackmail?

    I prefer to be anonymous when I'm mean like that. Just to watch the person squirm in their embarrassment and uncertainty.

  • ||

    Unless the boss actually posted them herself and is a secret exhibitionist.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    So you're saying she's blackmailing herself?

  • ||

    ...maybe.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    The men's room would be better.

  • ||

    What would be the point of alerting her? It's the the wild. It's too late. Just bury the knowledge.

    Or have some erotic lesbian fantasies about your boss. Either one.

  • sarcasmic||

    What would be the point of alerting her?

    I believe many of the sites that post amateur video will take them down upon request, for example when they are posted without the participants' consent.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Jesus, make a throwaway outlook.com account and e-mail the link from a Best Buy or a busy hotspot.

    Do I have to do everything for everyone?

    Or, do what I would do, rip that and save it for use later.

  • sarcasmic||

    Is she hot? Oh, wait a sec. This is John. Never mind.

  • db||

    Post the link so we can have more info to answer.

  • hotsy totsy||

    Don't tell her. Don't ever admit to seeing it if asked.

    In fact, don't even admit to watching anything on an adult website. Pretend you don't even know what an adult website is.

  • ||

    I'm certain all parents here know to never call the authorities when having problems with your kids, but please use the tragedy of this kid getting sniped as a proselytizing tool for all your friends.

  • ||

    CATO released a pdf called "Fiscal Policy Report Card on America's Governors: 2012". Thankfully, my governor got an A.

    link

  • Caleb Turberville||

    http://blog.al.com/spotnews/20.....s_and.html

    The Birmingham News rediculed CATO's grading scale for my governor. Can someone clarify how a 61 gets a B?

  • ||

    Somebody never took an engineering course. "55%. A-"

  • Citizen Nothing||

    My son is in a pretty good law school -- he reports the curve there bottoms out at B-.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    (My oldest son, not the seven-year-old who started out looking like a half-boiled chicken.)

  • db||

    Is this a new SNL skit? " Half-Boiled Chicken Lawyer?"

  • Citizen Nothing||

    More "Kids in the Hall," I'd think.

  • Pro Libertate||

    I met an old attorney in Chicago who had attended my school back in the 40s. Back then, they had comprehensive exams on top of the course exams, with one each year. If you failed, you failed law school.

    He said less than a third of his class made it all the way through.

    The way it works there now is that As are somewhat difficult to get, especially in everything, but it wouldn't take that much effort to get through with a C average. Some schools, of course, have incredible grade inflation and skew everything all to hell.

  • R C Dean||

    Law Schools are in the business of farming future alumni donors, not flunking out the less capable.

    Some realized this early on. In my class of 550 or so, I believe two (2) didn't graduate.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Exactly. "We need the dues."

  • T||

    I got an A with a 39 once. Brutal course. Dude had no business teaching undergrads. I had him later for a graduate level course, and he was fantastic. But he couldn't slow down to undergrad speed.

  • Brett L||

    Yeah. I had a similar course (E-math, I think) in which I got the highest score on the exam with a 50. Dude was a brilliant engineer and a shit teacher.

  • T||

    Anytime where thw instructor has to spend 15 minutes explaining the problems on an hour long exam to you, you know you're fucked.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    HA! Our gov in IL got the LOWEST grade.

    Land of Lincoln, my azz. Land o' Sinkin'! We suck ballz.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    parents here know to never call the authorities when having problems with your kids

    Any time you call 911, the police come.

    Any time the police come, bad things happen.

  • sarcasmic||

    Police are violence. Nothing more, nothing less.

    So unless you have a problem that requires a violent solution, do not call the police.

  • tarran||

    Nowadays a lot of emergency social service orgs won't talk to you unless you call 911 first.

  • ||

    So don't call 911, kill two birds with one stone.

  • Sevo||

    Bay area teachers block fed dough since it requires some moderate attempt to rate the teachers' performance:
    http://www.sfgate.com/educatio.....991884.php
    But of course they're doing out out of libertarian sympathies, right? Or is is 'for the childrunz!'?

  • John||

    According to Gallup, 15% of registered voters have already cast ballots and Romney is up 52 to 45. That is a hell of a large sample and a hell of a large lead. Maybe Republicans are just statistically much more likely to cast early ballots. But if not, Obama is doomed.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Skewed by military maybe? Though that wouldn't account for 15% or anything close to it.

    I dunno, probably just people with jobs.

  • ||

    15% of registered voters? There are about 160 million of those, so you're saying about 24 million people have already voted? That's a huge number.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Don't Democrats usually have higher early voting turnout? I know they push it much harder.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Easier to "help" fill out ballots at the senior citizen home, union hall and the like, yes.

  • Brett L||

    Not in FL. Both parties have gone balls to the wall with absentee voting since 2000. The absentee ballots are harder to fuck up, or something? I don't know. But the party guys all push absentee voting hard. I suppose its easier to drive turnout by having people sign up to have a ballot mailed to their house.

  • Gray Ghost||

    Those proportions are in line with Harris County. There are about 2 million registered voters in the county. Roughly 416,000 of them have already voted, or a little more than 20%. Per the cited article, turnout's bigger in traditionally Republican-voting areas.

    I love early voting. No idea how much more it costs to run it though.

  • Azathoth!!||

    I think the most interesting thing about this is that Democrats are casting MORE early ballots than Republicans.

  • ||

    Unrelated to anything, but so damn funny I thought I'd share. Yesterday, I received a random text:

    "Hey elana"
    I replied, "I think you have the wrong number. No Elana here."
    A few minutes later: "Its elana u just gave me ur number lol"
    I tried again: "Either Elana gave you the wrong number or you put it in your phone wrong. Better ask her for it again next time you see her."
    Reply: "Its me elana from chemistry i ask u for ur number"
    Me: "Ohhhhh"
    Elana: "Yeh"
    Me: "I gave u the wrong number ask for it again tomorrow k?"
    Elana: "Kk"

    fin

  • Whiterun Guard||

    You totally blew it dude.

  • db||

    Lovely.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Awesome.

  • Whahappan?||

    "It's me, Dave."

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Nowadays a lot of emergency social service orgs won't talk to you unless you call 911 first.

    I see. Because it might be some sort of TRAP.

    We are doomed as a society.

  • sarcasmic||

    It's probably a liability thing.

  • tarran||

    No. The state is doomed. Yes, the state has taken over and ruined many of the institutions required for civilization to function, but as they do a shittier and shittier job new institutions will arise to provide the services the state is failing to provide.

  • T||

    Jesus tapdancing christ, but people are idiots.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Hopefully they still wouldn't hire him as a mohel.

  • db||

    Obama's never worked for tips in his life, and he still claims to be a common man?

  • db||

    So with the NYC subway system down for days if not weeks, what's the projection for the city? Is it a triumph for proponents of dense urban living?

  • LTC(ret) John||

    As a risk management profession, I applaud NYC for showing what geographical concentration does to risk. Well, massive taxation with terrible governance too.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "President Obama says he's like to create a new Cabinet-level "Secretary of Business" if re-elected. That's right, Mr. President. You must first name what you would destroy."

    Give me a fucking break.

    I'm voting for Romney.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    as they do a shittier and shittier job new institutions will arise to provide the services the state is failing to provide.

    Scroll down to J D's tale of his kids' charter school.

    Walmart won't send men with guns to prevent you from selling flipflops out of the trunk of you Monte Carlo, but "Suicide Counseling Without a License" will get you a visit from the Brown Shirts.

  • ||

    Now they're calling Sandy a "Superstorm", since Tropical Storm isn't impressive enough.

  • db||

    David Rothkopf has a retarded cheerleading piece on how Sandy will "change the whole game" politically, environmentally, etc. over at Foreign Policy.

  • LTC(ret) John||

    Wishcasting, is he?

  • Brett L||

    I dunno. I heard the pressure got down to 740 millibars. With 1000 millibars being the average pressure at sea level and 0 being space, that's a bitchin' vacuum. I think most major hurricanes get to the low 900s.

  • db||

    Did Sandy go from "Suck" to "Blow?"

  • db||

    That is pretty low. It equates to a pressure altitude of 9000 feet MSL.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Where did you hear this? I saw 943 millibars for Sandy's minimum (which is very low for a storm that far north).

  • ||

    740mb is an impossible number. Hurricane Wilma got down to 882mb back in 2005, and that is the all-time record for the Atlantic.

  • Brett L||

    It seemed low to me, too. More credible is 937mb. Low, but not as incredible.

  • Timon 19||

    Utterly impossible. Lowest recorded is something like 870mb.

  • Lisa||

    I'm shocked that Obama didn't say that the private sector would be better than FEMA. The candidates are indistinguishable, right?

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