TSA Thinks Drag Queen's Fake Boobs Are a Terrorist Threat

"Would this happen if I were dressed as Britney Spears?" asked [Derrick] Barry, a featured star in Frank Marino's "Divas Las Vegas" at Imperial Palace. He was not in drag at the airport.

Barry was held up by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) at the Las Vegas airport after he attempted to board a plane with a carryon containing some of the tools of his trade: silicone breast enhancers, known (horrifyingly) as chicken cutlets. Apparently Barry's enhancements were sizeable—they exceeded the TSA's 3.2 ounce limit on liquids and gels. He wound up getting held for more than a hour while the TSA tried to figure out what to do with him, and nearly missed his flight to Tampa.

Women presumably go through security all the time wearing various species of falsies—particularly in Vegas, one imagines. And so do men, apparently:

"I've gone through with my fake butt and my fake boobs and never had a problem," said Barry's boss Marino, a Las Vegas drag icon for almost 30 years in "La Cage" and "Divas Las Vegas."

"Next time he travels," Marino said , "he should go through in drag and when he goes through the electronic X-ray machine, oh those eyes, those thighs and a little surprise. That would get 'em back."

More Reason on sexy fun with the TSA here:

Via Bob Woolley.

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  • Masturbatin' Pete||

    I'm not really sure what the complaint is here. Is the TSA 3.2 oz rule ineffective to the point of silliness? Yeah, probably. But that's the rule. I can't imagine that anyone would seriously ask for an exemption for silicon butt enhancers or gel-filled bras. What possible rationale could there be for that?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Indeed. If we exempt silicon butt enhancers or bust inserts then the Taliban could send a bunch of pretty Bacha bazi "boys" aboard a plane filled with explosives!

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Speaking of the Taliban,

    Afghan President Karzai slams NATO over 18-hour Kabul gunbattle

    I hope Karazi dies a horrible death. That piece of shit was nothing more than a drug lord before the CIA personally handed him suitcases filled with millions of U.S. taxpayer dollars. He has done absolutely nothing to correct the culture of corruption that drives the grivences of the average person who sympathizes with Talib rhetoric. Everytime something exposes what a miserible leader he is, he blames the 'gringo' for not doing enough to stablize the collection of tribal hordes he has a nerve to call a nation-state.

  • ||

    1) The bold text is right, whoever authored it.

    2) Since when does anybody give a fuck about what Karzai thinks?

  • anon||

    Fuck, I thought Mary was back for a second.

  • ||

    So thus people breast implants that exceed the 3.2 oz rule shouldn't be allowed to fly? Because any exception for implanted vs. external is entirely arbitrary.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    People containing more than 3.2 oz of liquid should not be allowed to fly.

  • Suki||

  • ||

    Yeah. But there shouldn't be a TSA.

  • Geoff Nathan||

    Bruce Schneier recently blogged on the harm that the TSA has done to the country (not counting the stupidity of the rules they enforce, and the greater stupidity and mindlessness of how they're enforced):

    http://www.schneier.com/crypto-gram-1204.html#1

    And I'm flying internationally three times in the next two months. Really looking forward to it...

  • Geoff Nathan||

    Not that I'm planning to carry fake [fill-in-the-blanks here]. My wife might wonder...

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    Your wife's not being freaky enough.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Apparently Barry's enhancements were sizeable—they exceeded the TSA's 3.2 ounce limit on liquids and gels.

    Has the TSA not seen how chubby Britney's gotten since Sean Preston and Jayden James?

  • ||

    Excuse me, your highness, but you're gonna have to check those.

  • Jennifer||

    Wait a minute. Three-point-two ounces? A couple months ago it was three-point-four. What happened to make that extra two-tenths of an ounce too dangerous to go on board?

    I still refuse to fly in American airspace. Part of it is a matter of principle (and if enough people boycotted the airlines, this bullshit WOULD stop), but part of it is simply that I know my limitations, and there is absolutely no way I could remain polite and submissive enough to avoid arrest while some child-molesting piece of shit gives me the ol' Freedom Fingerbang. And I don't, quite, have the courage to go to a checkpoint with a full bladder and drench the molesting sociopath.

  • sarcasmic||

    And I don't, quite, have the courage to go to a checkpoint with a full bladder and drench the molesting sociopath.

    What if you filled your bladder by quaffing liquid courage?

  • Jennifer||

    No, because that would strip away the filter between what I am thinking and what I am saying, and I'll be arrested for insufficient respect. I'm guessing it's now an arrestable offense to say anything which might hurt their solipsistic feelings. "That's right, SQUEEZE my tits there, you filthy slut. SNIFF my crotch like the dog that you are. Molesting people is the only marketable skill you have." Not a single threat or obscene word there, but it's probably enough to get arrested for lese majeste.

    And most of the cowardly jackasses in line behind me will get annoyed because I'm delaying their own rubdown.

  • ||

    I've boycotted flying for the past couple of years. Making an exception in May to go to Vegas for the LP convention. Hopefully I can manage to avoid saying anything to the TSA goons.

  • ||

    being felt up by the TSA should get you all riled up and in just the right mood for the LP convention, no?

  • ||

    I've flown plenty (20+ times) since these no-liquid pronouncements have come down.

    And not once...NOT ONCE...have I bothered to take my liquids (shampoo, mouthwash, etc) out and put them in a separate baggy for inspection.

  • Rich||

    That's what the X-ray machine is for, right?

  • ||

    Sure it is.

  • ||

    Ugh, when I went to see my boyfriend in LA, the TSA asshole pulled out my bottles of lube & LOUDLY asked what they were.

    I would have been embarrassed if I hadn't been so pissed off & ready to deck the bastard in his face.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    if enough people boycotted the airlines, this bullshit WOULD stop

    It's not the airlines doing this...

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    They're not doing this, but if motivated they have influence nonetheless.

  • R C Dean||

    What's funny is, I believe that since 9/11 and the TSA, every single major airline except Southwest has gone bankrupt.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    the ol' Freedom Fingerbang.

    Hmmm. This might make for a good t-shirt. Consider it stolen.

  • fried wylie||

    the picture on the shirt is a hand pretending to be a gun, with a batman style "KAPOW"-bubble coming out of the fingertip.

  • ||

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Goddammit!

  • Rich||

    Wait a minute. Three-point-two ounces? A couple months ago it was three-point-four.

    Wait a minute, indeed! Just what are the pressure and temperature at which we're checking that volume? Or are we checking the *weight*? I can never remember.

  • anon||

    I'm going to laugh my ass off when someone figures out how to create dark matter just to be able to carry their liquor onto a plane.

  • Jennifer||

    Before the molestation mandates, when I was still willing to fly, I was able to get around the limitations (in THOSE days it was only three ounces; thank heavens anti-terrorist technology has advanced enough to now allow three-point-two) by refilling empty bottles with higher volumes. Like, say, an empty bottle of lightweight hand lotion was labeled 3 oz. when it was full, but when I emptied it and cleaned it out it held five or six ounces of something denser and heavier like hair conditioner. But the bottle was still labeled "3 oz." so I could still carry it on.

  • fried wylie||

    you're confusing weight ounces with volume ounces.

  • Jennifer||

    Actually, I think TSA is, along with confusing "hairstyling products" with "bombs."

  • fried wylie||

    Like, say, an empty bottle of lightweight hand lotion was labeled 3 oz. when it was full, but when I emptied it and cleaned it out it held five or six ounces of something denser and heavier like hair conditioner. But the bottle was still labeled "3 oz." so I could still carry it on.

    5-6oz of heavier conditioner is still 3 fl oz in your example. They're not weighing the bottles, they're reading the labeled volume.

  • kinnath||

    It's a sad world we live in when a free man can't carry his spare tits onto an airplane in his carry-on luggage.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    TEST. Sibilance. Sibilance.

  • fresno dan||

    I cannot comment until I see 'em to determine if:
    DEY ARE DA BOMB!

  • ||

    http://news.yahoo.com/norway-s.....ories.html

    Norway Shooter Anders Breivik Pleads Not Guilty, Cries in Court

    "The right wing extremist who has confessed to murdering 77 people -- many of them teenagers -- in a shooting and bombing spree in Norway cried at the start of his trial today, but not for his victims.

    Anders Breivik told the court he acknowledged the mass murder but pleaded not guilty, claiming it was done in self-defense as part of his war against "multiculturalism" in the European nation. He expressed no emotion as he entered his plea but broke down and had to wipe away tears when the court played a portion of a propaganda video he had made in support of his new "crusade" in Norway.

    Breivik is accused of carrying out the July 2011 bombing in Oslo, Norway, that killed eight people, followed by a shooting spree at a nearby youth summer camp that claimed another 69 lives."

    ---------------------------------

    The maximum sentence, by the way, is 21 years. Instead of drawing and quartering him, roasting him alive above a fire, or feeding him alive to dogs, he's going to live after doing this.

    The electric chair was invented for fucks like him.

  • anon||

    No pics reason? I am disappoint.

  • ||

    really anon, if you can't find a picture online of fake tits...

  • anon||

    I wanted pics of the drag-less dude in drag to determine if s/he was a threat or not.

  • Hell's Librarian||

    There are some at his web page: http://www.derrickbarry.com/index.html

  • ||

    I think we need ot relax this rule. I am seriously interested in whether we can tempt a Muslim fundamentalist to smuggle explosives into an airplane in his fake breast implants. I think the casualties owuld be worth it.

  • R C Dean||

    Of course, a fundamentalist could easily get around current TSA by

    (1) Dressing up as a woman in full hijab.

    (2) Having "her" "husband" pitch a fit at the rape-scanner and pat-down as being against their religion, blah blah.

    I'm guessing there are good odds, probably very good odds, that they would be waved through without the kind of search that would show teh boobies are C4.

  • Gray Ghost||

    Or just have the ground crew---which doesn't go through TSA screening---smuggle the bomb on the plane.

    You're never going to be able to totally screen out evildoers and their tools, especially if the evildoer is willing to die on the airplane.

  • ||

    apparently, his chicken breast cutlets didn't fall under the medical supplies/device exception

    weightlifters, etc. have no problem, for example, taking IV bags
    (used to rehydrate after weigh-in) on to a plane, because medical stuff is a specific exception to the liquid requirement. it does not apply to OTC stuff, though (like OTC cough syrup) but does apply to prescription items

    i have personally seen IV bags get through , which have a much larger capacity than the TSA's requirement, specifically under the medical exception

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