New at Reason: The Gary Johnson Candidate Profile

Not sure who to commit to in the Republican primary race? Let Reason help you out.

Picking a presidential candidate is like sorting through online dating profiles—nobody's quite right, but once a meet-cute is out of the question, the best you can hope for is to pick a mate out of a self-selected digital lineup. Today we’re focusing on former New Mexico Governor and outspoken libertarian Gary Johnson. We’ve got his horoscope, his nick-names, and his positions on the major issues facing the country.

Click here to find out if Gary Johnson is the candidate for you!

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    That link just redirects to Ron Paul's candidate profile.

  • Apatheist||

    Well the police questioned me on my way into the work, apparently his fat holiness is on his way over. They have the whole building surrounded in preperation.

  • Montani Semper Liberi||

    I thought OWSers took care of things themselves. Why involve the police? I guess protecting Michael Moore is more important than catching rapists.

  • Apatheist||

    Because my office building is private property and they aren't going to let the protesters in.

  • Apatheist||

    Just went down to the lobby to see them. Was pretty lame. They are just at one of the entrances while everybody inside takes pictures with their phones and make jokes about them. I didn't see fatty, maybe he didn't bother to come.

  • ||

    Instead of Occupy®, I'm referring to it as Stupefy. It seems a more accurate label to me.

  • Cliché Bandit||

    dude, take some pics and send to reason...they will anonymize for you...I WANNA SEE!!!

  • Apatheist||

    Alas, I use an old flip phone with a shitty camera. The battery still lasts a week though. Take that smart phone users!

    I'm getting a galaxy nexus when they come out as a birthday/passing the bar present from my parents though.

  • Apatheist||

    An update: apparently Occupy Houston has tweeted that fatty will show up "when his schedule permits." BAHAHAHAHAAHAHA He is in town for a book signing, he played these chumps quite well. Too fucking lazy to walk around Houston in the cold all morning.

  • ||

    I'd totally vote for Johnson if he were to run.

  • ||

    There is no such thing as Gary Johnson. That's just a libertarian meme from the internet.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Crap. I got suckered for $25.

  • ||

    I send more than that. I've also sent money to Ron Paul, who I think actually is running for something.

    The media might as well go to full-time Snooki coverage or whatever it does and drop politics altogether.

  • ||

    I sent. Not sure about sending any more.

    If Paul does okay in the primary, I might do some more.

  • ||

    Dear Sir/M,
    I am Mr. Gary Johnson, a candidate of the Republican Party. I have the courage to Crave indulgence for this important business believing that you will never let me down
    either now or in the future. . . .

  • Joe M||

    Wait, so the U.S. government wasn't really toppled? Damn it!

  • Almanian||

    1) Give it up - he's not a "major" candidate. Not allowed into debates and such, doncha know?

    2) "We're using "scientific" in the Republican sense of the word. So we really mean "made up." As opposed to the Tardocrat's definition, which is all sciency and stuff? Lemme help you:

    We're using "scientific" in the Republican sense of the word same way as either of the 'large' US political parties would when shilling for their particular worldview. So we really mean "made up."


  • ||

    I really can't figure out what Gary's Danzig theme song should be. Any suggestions?

  • ||

    "Not of This World?"

  • Joe M||

    How about "NetherBound".

  • Cliché Bandit||

    Should be George Thorogood's "I drink alone."

  • Jeremy||


  • Old Mexican||

    Today we’re focusing on former New Mexico Governor and outspoken libertarian Gary Johnson. We’ve got his horoscope,[...]

    "You're an outgoing, passionate person who buys into the oxymoron that is humanitarian war."

  • ||

    Admittedly he's not perfect. But then again, Ron Paul takes earmarks, doesn't believe in a free market for international labor, believes it's ok for states to ban sodomy, etc. A libertarian who's ok with using the military to stop genocide vs. a states-rights paleoconservative Constitutionalist.

  • Richard Head||

    I like the cut of his jib

  • ||

    Johnson sounds like a really good candidate. I only have a few quibbles with his stance on e-verify and immigration but he's better than the others schmucks.

    Then I made the mistake of reading the profile for fellow Pennsylvanian, Rick Santorum. Oh, goodness what a hypocritical, lying, asshole nut job. Really, PA? First James Buchanan and now we put this guy out there. What the Hell? I cry for the Keystone Commonwealth some times.

    Of course I would still love to move back to the Gettysburg area.


  • Old Mexican||

    Re: Benjamin,

    I only have a few quibbles with his stance on e-verify and immigration but he's better than the [other] schmucks.

    Which means he can't be better than Paul.

  • anon||

    Who's this Gary Johnson guy?

  • Zuo||

    Gary Johnson and Jon Hunstman are the most qualified candidates. Ron Paul says a lot of the right stuff (like Sarah Palin), but has a pretty damn weak resume of actual accomplishments(like Sarah Palin). And the cult of personality he cultivates is annoying at best (like Sarah Palin).

    Of course the TEAM RED asshole base have Gary and Jon down in the lowww single digits, behind the likes of shitstain Bachmann and theocratic-police-statist-Frothy.

  • Old Mexican||

    Re: Zuo,

    Ron Paul says a lot of the right stuff (like Sarah Palin), but has a pretty damn weak resume of actual accomplishments(like Sarah Palin).

    What would an "accomplishment" be for you then, Zuo?

  • Cliché Bandit||

    I am curious OM. Gary is decidely much better on immigration the Paul. Arguably worse on war. Do you square your sole Paul support with your personal prioritization of the issue of immigration below other more persoanlly important ones or do you think Paul is better on immigration than he is letting.

    I am a fan of both and therefore believe either would do a great job and I support them. But exluding one over the other, especially at this stage, seems couterpoructive to the expansion of liberty...and don't call me Tony.


    Yeah, Dr Paul has no record of supporting aggressive military invasions of countries he doesn't like. Sounds like you should be looking for a WarState candidate. Don't just stick to Red or Blue: Obama (proven record of lots of "wars of choice"), Perry, Romney all seem to fit the bill.

  • Zuo||

    Yeah, one house member of 435. His opposition to wars is really an accomplishment. Like when he was able to prevent the US from attacking Saddam in 1990. Or in 2003. Or when he prevented a 10 year long DOD circle-jerk in Central Asia.

    Like I said, he SAYS a lot of the right things, but his record of actual accomplishments is pretty damn weak. Quit being a little sycophantic bitch.

    And this goes for every topic Ron is allegedly a leader of. He's never governed ANYTHING, his beliefs have never been put into practice as a result, so all we have is his blather to go on. Sounds good, but its all talk. I'm of the belief that a person should have to prove competence by (successfully) running a major administrative unit before getting a chance to rule the biggest one of them all.

  • Zuo||

    And yes, before you goons attack me, "rule" was being facetious. They need to prove they have the competence and drive to reel in State excesses. Something both Gary Johnson and Jon Hunstman have shown. Even Rick Perry advanced the cause of liberty in Texas far more than inhibiting it. Oh noes, TTC,privatized roadz, bane of libertarians everywhere! Oh noes, a vaccine mandate (would have been 1 more on top of the 7 already mandated, that nobody cries about - except that he didn't ram it through when loud Texan whiners made their opposition known). The whole reason he fell in the polls is because he is too libertarian for the TEAM RED socon Mexi-hater base.

  • ||

    You know who else had a horoscope, and nicknames?

  • Croesus||

    I still think that Gary Johnson should give up his longshot bid for the presidency and instead run for Senator from New Mexico. If he has won statewide before he can do it again, and doing so would be a gain for both libertarians and Republicans. Plus, it could help him raise his national profile and pave the way for another Presidential run in the future.

  • ||

    I hope he's on the ballot in 2012 either as a third party/independent President/Vice President or for NM Senator. If I knew he was going for either of those things I'd give him more money today. I'm just worried that donating more now than I already have will go into a quixotic campaign that won't have any lasting impact if he just goes home after he gets 6th place or lower in NH, barring a miracle.

    So sad, because everybody who knows about him realizes how much better he is than the other candidates that are actually contenders (and to be clear, I do not believe Paul to be a contender. I think he's near a ceiling of support, even if Gary Johnson fans come over to his team after Gary likely drops out.)

  • ||

    Didn't Reason get the notice that the media is not supposed to mention Gary Johnson? Stay on script!

  • David Emami||

    You forgot to mention that he's an "All-American actor who graduated Iowa University summa cum laude with a double major in theatre and world languages."

  • ||

    I would love to hear Gary Johnson in the CNBC debate on Nov. 9th, but CNBC has not invited him despite Johnson meeting the requirement of polling at least 3% during at least one poll. Why is CNBC constantly excluding Johnson from the debates even though he keeps meeting their arbitrary and mercurial requirements?

  • BakedPenguin||

    That's a hypothetical question, right?


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