Obama's Speech: The Definitive Report

From a fourth grader in North Carolina:

On September 8th, 2009, I watched President Obama give his speech. Some kids got a note from their parents and got to do fun stuff instead. I was very jealous. I listened to him talk about school and how it was the first day of school (although it wasn't) and other boring stuff for FIFTEEN MINUTES! To a kid that's a looong time in school.

During the speech, my friend and her friend were talking, and my teacher said they were being very disrespectful to the president, the leader of our armed forces (blah, blah, blah and some other stuff).

Later, in the library, a kid in my class said that he was very happy that Obama beat McCain. I asked him why. He said (and this is the funny part) that he would bring back slavery and raise taxes! I said how do you know that? He said, "Because I watched the news" and I said "You don't watch the news if you think that!" and it was basically back and forth from there. But when he said he said HE knew more than MY MOM, it was a fight worthy of a war. I was so mad I broke my pencil and later, my crayon.

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  • ||

    He said, "Because I watched the news"

    THis sounds like a misquote---the kid probably said :

    "Because I watch FOX News"

  • ||

    The kid writes better than many H&R commenters. He knows more about politics as well.

  • ||

    I was so mad I broke my pencil and later, my crayon.

    Racist. Was it a "flesh-colored" crayon? Huh?

  • ||

    Oh my christ enough with this.

  • David E. Gallaher||

    That was funny, but did not at all have the ring of authenticity.
    Come on Jesse. You know how we hillbillies talk. Give us some real southern reporting.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The blah, blah, blah was not meant to be disrespectful, that is just what she says when she can't remember exactly what else was said.

    Next year, one of the lessons Schoolmarm Obama should teach the kids is the difference between blah, blah, blah and yadda, yadda, yadda.

  • ||

    ChicagoTom: Fox News said McCain would bring back slavery?

    Hilarious. This kid has a future as a pundit.

  • ||

    ChicagoTom: Fox News said McCain would bring back slavery?

    Just re-read the exchange -- I read it wrong the first time -- My bad.

  • Suki||

    But when he said he said HE knew more than MY MOM, it was a fight worthy of a war. I was so mad I broke my pencil and later, my crayon.

    North Carolina kid, if the other kid declared war on you, you broke the wrong person's stuff!

  • ev||

    There is no way that came from a fourth grader. If it actually did I want to buy that kid a burger because (s)he's fucking on top of grammar and all other sorts of shit.

    In fourth grade I was lucky if I didn't shit myself before recess. Shit, I still am, even if "recess" now equals "sex" or "masturbation."

    I was grading some 8th grade history homework last night and...not one of them had syntax/structure this good.

    Rock the fuck on, kid.

  • ev||

    How did I not notice how often I used the word "shit" I post? Ah, yes. The irritable bowel syndrome. What a fun game life is!

  • MJ||

    Future Reason staffer?

  • Hugh Akston||

    a kid in my class said that he was very happy that Obama beat McCain. I asked him why. He said (and this is the funny part) that he would bring back slavery and raise taxes! I said how do you know that? He said, "Because I watched the news" and I said "You don't watch the news if you think that!"



    This is oddly reminiscent of exchanges I've read at H&R.

    How did I not notice how often I used the word "shit" I post? Ah, yes. The irritable bowel syndrome.

    I didn't know you could get that in your mouth.

  • anarch||

    This is oddly reminiscent of exchanges I've read at H&R.



    Bowlderized.

  • GILMORE||

    I dont buy it. A real 4th grader wouldn't care.

  • Anon 2||

    The kid writes better than many H&R commenters. He knows more about politics as well.

    J Sub D, I'm going to go out on the limb and say you're a virgin.

  • 24AheadDotCom||

    [Too busy rolling eyes at source to bother checking it out]

    Maybe for something actually important, Reason could look into the Department of Education lesson plans for the speech. Those include having the kids read BHO books and writing his quotes on cards and pasting them on classroom walls.

    And, oddly enough, it's something that Reason isn't telling you.

  • 24AheadDotCom||

    You know, on second thought that kid did such a good job I should reward the little tyke with a picture of me blowing myself. This should inspire the child to go on to do great things.

    Though I will have to make sure the brat is not an illegal first.

  • 24AheadDotCom||

    The first comment is from me, the second is not. It says a lot about a forum when its regular are never able to present a valid counter-argument but instead are forced to smear and play childish games. But, what do you expect from libertarians?

    P.S. It's also cowardly to hide behind things like that. Maybe the person who does that would like to be man enough to reveal who they are. Are they the corporate lawyer for a shopping company in Florida? A worker (or the owner) of a medical supply company in Mesa, AZ? The person who lives in Petaluma? Remember: write everything like it's going to be the first hit for your real name in Google.

  • Spmonk||

    I refuse to believe some 4rth grader wrote that.
    (just to make myself feel better)

  • Elemenope||

    Remember: write everything like it's going to be the first hit for your real name in Google.

    Why?

  • Joe M||

    The "help the president" meme is so last week. We already beat it to death, and they removed that language.

    However, I do find this part from the grades 7-12 lesson plan interesting:

    3. Teachers may engage students in short readings. Teachers may post in large print around the classroom notable quotes excerpted from President Obama's speeches on education...
    Teachers could ask students to think about the following:
    What are our interpretations of these excerpts?
    Based on these excerpts, what can we infer that the president believes is important in order to be educationally successful?


    I must admit, that sounds a bit slimy. The bolded part sounds like posting policy positions.

  • ||

    Remember: write everything like it's going to be the first hit for your real name in Google.

    If the first hit for my real name in Google is "Shut the fuck up, Lonewacko", I will die a happy man. So shut the fuck up.

  • JB||

    roflmao. There is hope for America.

  • 24AheadDotCom||

    Hey, maybe the middle person above is the person who lives in Knoxville and works at the University of Tennessee.

    Meanwhile, back on topic, the lesson plans I linked above are like something KrustyTheCClown would come up with: "remember kids, write 'I like KrustyBrand breakfast puffs' on the blackboard at school in big letters so all the other kids will see it!"

  • mark||

    Just re-read the exchange -- I read it wrong the first time -- My bad.

    First of all, I thought that was Jesse Walker's reporting, not the writing of a 4th grader. And when I read it, I imagined Walker hearing from one of the young conservative students. So I can relate to ChicagoTom. For the first time ever.

  • hmm||

    I want to here from the kids that skipped the speech to sneak out to the athletic field and get stoned. They are the future.

  • Tony||

    Still getting the big scoops huh Reason.

  • Jesse Walker||

    oddly enough, it's something that Reason isn't telling you.

    You really need to work on those reading skills, Chris. I quoted from and linked to the original lesson plan in my column about the speech yesterday morning.

  • The Angry Optimist||

    I love that people are calling him "Chris" now. I have a legacy!

    Chris Kelly, the only place I heard about these dumb lesson plans were from reason (one of the many drawbacks to not having a television), so cram it, tiny stuff.

  • TallDave||

    Later, in the library, a kid in my class said that he was very happy that Obama beat McCain. I asked him why. He said (and this is the funny part) that he would bring back slavery and raise taxes! I said how do you know that? He said, "Because I watched the news" and I said "You don't watch the news if you think that!"

    No, actually I'm pretty sure that's more or less how the MSM covered the election.

  • TallDave||

    Amusing Chicago MSM anecdote: they covered a kid protesting that his school chose not to run the Obama thing.

  • ||

    I agree passing that off as actual writing of a 4th grader is probably BS. At least not w/o some significant parental editing.

    "a fight worthy of a war" -- gimme break

    My son is very gifted, and would not have used some of those phrases at the start of 4th grade, no way.


    As to the sentiments expressed? Great.

  • ||

    I agree this topic is bizarrely over-covered. I don't understand why anyone cares. Maybe its because it wasn't that long ago that I was in grade school, but the worksheets sound like pretty normal lazy teacher writing.

    What was the author's main point?

    What did he want you to think about, etc.


    Also, I definitely believe that piece may have been written by a 4th grader.

    Not a public school 4th grader, though.

  • ||

    "a fight worthy of a war" -- gimme break.

    I barfed at the part of the first sentence:

    "On September 8th, 2009,"

    A 4th grader just write "Today" or "This morning" or most likely give no time context at all.

  • or most likely give no time co||

    # is a fourth-grader?

  • Abdul||

    Jesse, you just found Steve Chapman's replacement!

  • Xeones||

    I don't understand why anyone cares.

    'Cause it's fun to smack the crap out of softballs sometimes. What, you thought we were formulating policy here on Hit'n'Run?

    Oh, and shut the fuck up, LoneWacko.

  • Guy Smiley||

    I think I could've written that when I was in the fourth grade.

  • ||

    I think it's legit if you go to the source website. I know I could have written similarly in 4th grade and I bet most of you could too. 4th graders are learning how to write structurally and this kid's mom has an interest in her education and considering she blogs, her writing as well. If this was stated to be written by the mom's 8th grader, then I just might call bullshit. There was like, no OMG or LOL!!!!1!1111!!

  • ||

    The post was written by my daughter and she is a fourth grader in public school. The only thing I added to her account was to put one phrase in italics because I thought it was worth calling attention to.

    I will admit she is not an average fourth grader, and may not sound like many other fourth graders. In the summer between second and third grade she read the first Harry Potter book and liked it so much that she read all seven books over a six week period. She has re-read them at least once. On the last two standardized math and reading tests she took she scored in the 99.8 percentile. She has a really good vocabulary, but also puts "-ish" at the end of lots of words because she thinks it makes her sound like her older sister, and she regularly says things like "blah, blah, blah" and "whatever."

    I wondered where she got the "fight worthy of a war" phrase, but since she reads constantly my guess is it was in a book she read. It is not anything I remember having ever said.

  • jtuf||

    If the author is typical of his generation, there is hope for America yet.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Thanks, Ms. Byrd. Good stuff. But for the love of God, don't let your daughter visit the H&R comments for at least another decade or two.

  • ||

    Seriously. We are rude, awful people. We actually vie to see who can be worse.

  • ||

    By the way, Ms. Byrd...

    The phrase "fight worthy of a war" only googles up the post and references to it. It should be a handy search parameter to track the spread of the post and reactions to it.

  • ||

    I would have said it was far too well written for a ten year old, but I find Lorie Byrd's post above, unverifiable though it may be, oddly persuasive.

    Truth, or truthy? Only your confirmation bias knows for sure.

  • Abdul||

    Jeez, Lorie, you got a genius on your hands and you're sending her to a public school where she will wilt and die like a hot-house flower?

    Can't we all pass the hat to get Lorie's kid a voucher to Sidwell Friends?

  • ||

    And, oddly enough, it's something that Reason isn't telling you.

    Oddly enough, I don't need Reason to tell me everything.

  • Medic001||

    And we are suprised?

    I had a patient tell me Saddam Hussain master minded the 9/11 attack.

    I had to leave the room before I broke my corp oath...'do no harm'.

    -out

  • Medic001||

    Not all ten year olds are hooked on Digimon and power rangers...( am I out of date?)

    I know plenty of ten year olds that are smarter and more educated than the average adult.

    Kids are as smart as you let them. :)

    Remember how young Einstein was when he gave his school the finger.

    - medic

  • LarryA||

    Later, in the library, a kid in my class said that he was very happy that Obama beat McCain. I asked him why. He said (and this is the funny part) that he would bring back slavery and raise taxes!

    They told me if I voted for Goldwater there would be war in Vietnam. They were right!

  • ||

    FAKE

  • alan||

    It's also cowardly to hide behind things like that. Maybe the person who does that would like to be man enough to reveal who they are. Are they the corporate lawyer for a shopping company in Florida? A worker (or the owner) of a medical supply company in Mesa, AZ? The person who lives in Petaluma? Remember: write everything like it's going to be the first hit for your real name in Google.

    Good God, man. How many people you have pissed off in your life to have such a diverse enemies list?

  • alan||

    Hey, maybe the middle person above is the person who lives in Knoxville and works at the University of Tennessee.

    And it didn't stop there. Was dodge ball taught in your sixth grade life skills class?

  • alan||

    I would have said it was far too well written for a ten year old, but I find Lorie Byrd's post above, unverifiable though it may be, oddly persuasive.

    Truth, or truthy? Only your confirmation bias knows for sure.


    I spent my summer between forth and fifth grade reading science fiction, Dune, Damon Knights Orbit series, Heinlein's juvees, and dozens of others, in a public library, and I had notebooks full of stories as well. I really don't find it hard to believe if her kids are prone to recreational reading.

  • Lorie Byrd||

    Thanks for the comments. I didn't let my daughter read them (she doesn't even read my blog), but told her some people found it hard to believe that a fourth grader wrote it. I thought she would take it as a compliment, but instead she was upset that people thought she was lying. I didn't explain to her that they didn't think she was lying, just that her mom was. I didn't want her breaking any more pencils.

    We considered private school, but where we live the nearest good one is about a 40 minute drive away and it would be extremely difficult for us to afford it anyway. We said we'd try public school and see how things went and so far we've gotten really lucky with good teachers that go out of their way to challenge her.

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