"Governments Took Over the Exclusive Function of Coining Money Because Unscrupulous Men Began Coating Cheap Metal Disks With Gold and Silver Plating."

Tim Cavanaugh | August 10, 2009

If you're still the kind of unpatriotic bastard who doesn't want to help America by going deeper into debt and then paying your way out with Monopoly money, well, this is all your fault: After a week of creeping yields, demand for 10-year Treasury notes soared again today, putting off expectations the 10-year note would soon be yielding above 4 percent. This dampens the Obama Administration's hopes for a return to sweet, sweet inflation, and could complicate the Federal Reserve's plan to stop buying U.S. Treasuries at the end of the summer. (Fed purchases of Treasuries are pro-inflationary; its sales of Treasuries are anti-inflationary, or at least that's what the New York Fed says in a comic book.)

The Federal Open Market Committee will convene tomorrow and Wednesday for a closed-door session of nude dancing and child sacrifice, during which it is expected to focus on treating the commercial real estate market that has been coughing up blood from coast to coast.

Since there is a zero-percent chance that anybody will consider the actual solution to the commercial and residential real estate disease -- allow overleveraged jerks to go out of business and let prices fall to where saving souls will no longer be priced out of the market -- we'll just have to cross our fingers and hope that Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and the rest of the geniuses who failed to see the real estate bubble when it was popping will now have perfect timing, and engineer that recovery where you still won't be able to find a job.

Think they can't do it? Then watch this two-part mashup of material from the Rick Prelinger archive, and be enlightened. You're not wasting your money, you're serving your country:

Comments

Paul|8.11.09 @ 1:46AM|#

The Federal Open Market Committee will convene tomorrow and Wednesday for a closed-door session of nude dancing and child sacrifice, during which it is expected to focus on treating the commercial real estate market that has been coughing up blood from coast to coast.

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

Paul Krugman said it was over.

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

Milton Friedman|8.11.09 @ 1:57AM|#

Inflation is everywhere and always a monetary phenomenon.

Eureka!|8.11.09 @ 2:12AM|#

Governments Took Over the Exclusive Function of Coining Money Because Unscrupulous Men Began Coating Cheap Metal Disks With Gold and Silver Plating.

Thought that problem was solved by some dude laying around in his hot tub.

|8.11.09 @ 2:33AM|#

Of course, the unscrupulous men who started the business of debasing coinage were kings.

-jcr

nike dunks sb|8.11.09 @ 3:39AM|#

The important thing in life is to have a great aim, and the determination to attain it.

roy|8.11.09 @ 5:22AM|#

Of course, the unscrupulous men who started the business of debasing coinage were kings.

and they didn't want competition...

|8.11.09 @ 6:08AM|#

"Governments Took Over the Exclusive Function of Coining Money Because Unscrupulous Men Began Coating Cheap Metal Disks With Gold and Silver Plating."

This reminds me of an article on the new "sandwich" coins that were introduced in the 1960s. I read it in an issue of the Readers' Digest, which I found in a dentist's office, once, prior to a particularly painful appointment. The article was full of "gee whiz" about the careful design and amazing metallurgical technology that went into these new disks that would replace our outgoing silver coins.

Looking back on it now, this article led the cheers for blatant coinage debasement -- "it's not a bug, it's a FEATURE!" -- in the same way that the 1930s-era FDR-administration propaganda film I saw recently via H&R beat the drum for the virtues of inflation. I have to hand it to those old crooks: They could tell you the honest truth about your situation and have you believe that an awful calamity was, in reality, the greatest blessing. Imagine us, cheering at government's ingenuity for doing what would have earned "unscrupulous men" of an earlier era a midnight visit from an enraged, torch- and pitchfork-bearing mob.

KingShamus|8.11.09 @ 7:06AM|#

"The Federal Open Market Committee will convene tomorrow and Wednesday for a closed-door session of nude dancing and child sacrifice..."

You're talking about a special ocassion there. Most of the time the committee plays a shirts n' skins basketball game followed by a perfunctory trip to a local tittie bar.

Xeones|8.11.09 @ 8:28AM|#

"Governments Took Over the Exclusive Function of Coining Money Because Unscrupulous Men Began Coating Cheap Metal Disks With Gold and Silver Plating."

Since governments have pretty consistently screwed the pooch on that one (and may John Maynard "Guys, I Was Just Kidding, Seriously" Keynes rot in Hell), methinks they could use a little competition from some scrupulous panarchists.

Guy Smiley|8.11.09 @ 8:55AM|#

I couldn't WTFV. But your prose made me laugh, Sir (in a good way). However, things are probably always funniest when everybody's fucked.

I, Kahn O\'Clast|8.11.09 @ 8:57AM|#

The video was teh awesome. I need the soundtrack.

The Franklin Mint|8.11.09 @ 8:58AM|#

We've just uncovered a whole treasure box full of cheap metal disks with gold and silver plating. These used to be $10 pieces, but you can get them now for only $5.95 each!! (limit 10 per order)

|8.11.09 @ 9:07AM|#

The Federal Open Market Committee will convene tomorrow and Wednesday for a closed-door session of nude dancing and child sacrifice,

Or as I call it, Wednesday.

|8.11.09 @ 9:43AM|#

Don't forget to account for all of the little games the treasury and fed are playing to make it look like demand for treasuries is higher than it really is:

http://www.chrismartenson.com/blog/fed-buys-last-weeks-treasury-auction/23880

Also, they've been tampering with the metrics to make it appear that foreign buyers have more interest than they actually do. Don't have an article on hand, but this story is all over the net.

|8.11.09 @ 11:35AM|#

"LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

Paul Krugman said it was over.

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA"

:)

Don't even get me started on Krugman... :/

|8.11.09 @ 11:38AM|#

Thanks for the reminder Milton, we miss you.

--Ed

|8.11.09 @ 11:46AM|#

Don't forget to account for all of the little games the treasury and fed are playing to make it look like demand for treasuries is higher than it really is:

So, who is actually buying at this week's auction?

Rich|8.11.09 @ 11:54AM|#

In general, the videos were *well* worth a dollar.

Too bad Part 2 went racist at 4:00.

Brian Sorgatz|8.11.09 @ 12:14PM|#

Just stop whining and hold your wallets open, citizens.

Lawrence H. White|8.11.09 @ 1:02PM|#

Don't you know that when you report on what the Fed does behind closed doors you threaten the independence of monetary policy?!

|8.11.09 @ 1:06PM|#

Your all confused. As I actually work (ha, ha, ha ...ow, I hurt myself laughing) for the gubermint, let me disabuse you of the Fed smoke and mirrors.
1. Take a taxpayer
2. grab by ankles and shake upside down virgorously until all valuables fall out...and collect.
3. If they make a raucous, shake more vigorously until all valuables, as well as organs, fall out.
4. Repeat

Look!|8.11.09 @ 1:53PM|#

Want real change? End the Fed.

polio robot|8.11.09 @ 4:29PM|#

"3. If they make a raucous, shake more vigorously taze and liberally season with pepper spray until all valuables, as well as organs, fall out citizen is well done."

FIFY