Urine Luck at Yankee Stadium!

Matt Welch | July 7, 2009

Thank heavens for small favors:

Yankee fans are now at liberty to go to the bathroom during the playing of "God Bless America" during the seventh-inning stretch, thanks to a settlement reached yesterday in Manhattan federal court.

New York Post headline? "WEE CHANGE FOR YANKEES," of course. Link via Baseball Primer.

The next tiny step for freedom? Change the soundtrack on the forced baseball-patriotism to the Rolling Stones' "Shattered." Or Nina Hagen's "New York." Or this:

Comments

Confused|7.7.09 @ 11:05AM|#

Did they lock and bar the bathroom doors during said song before?

|7.7.09 @ 11:13AM|#

Oh thank Christ for mentioning Nina Hagen, although just about every song on the earlier Nunsexmonkrock is better than "New York". Still, any Nina is better than none.

Matt Welch Makes Me So Fucking|7.7.09 @ 11:14AM|#

"the forced baseball-patriotism"

This is absolutely true. I live in NY and it is very common to see paramilitary personnel round up people on the street at gunpoint, stuff them into crowded paddy wagons and force them to attend a Yankees game.

Great to see this is finally getting some coverage.

ed|7.7.09 @ 11:16AM|#

Did they lock and bar the bathroom doors during said song before?

No. Ushers prevented fans from leaving their seats during the playing of said religious song.

|7.7.09 @ 11:17AM|#

Take Me Out to the Ball Game is completely appropriate and a fun seventh inning stretch. I am quite tired of God Bless America now that it's been 8 years since 9/11, ESPECIALLY when it's sung by that flat chested French Canadian woman or the legless Irish tenor.

Zeb|7.7.09 @ 11:23AM|#

I think that the 7th inning "God Bless America" is the thing I hate most about the Yankees. Why do sporting events need to be patriotic displays?

|7.7.09 @ 11:26AM|#

"I think that the 7th inning "God Bless America" is the thing I hate most about the Yankees. Why do sporting events need to be patriotic displays?"

It justifies the owners picking our pokets in order to build amazing stadiums. Kim Jong Il is big on patriotic numbers too. And he too has some amazing stadiums.

|7.7.09 @ 11:30AM|#

I could see me whipping it out and pissing right there. My defense? When you gotta go, you gotta go.

ed|7.7.09 @ 11:31AM|#

Why do sporting events need to be patriotic displays?

To reinforce cherished beliefs amongst insecure xenophobes?

Tomcat1066|7.7.09 @ 11:35AM|#

You're serious? This crap really happened? That is probably the most retarded concept I have ever heard of.

I'm as patriotic as they come. I stand during any patriotic song, and my military training kicks in as I stand at attention. But outside of the Star Spangled Banner, I'll go and take a leak if I have to...and I don't with the Star Spangled Banner by choice (plus, I try and go beforehand), just don't tell me I can't go to the bathroom at an event that I paid way to much to attend like a Yankees game!

|7.7.09 @ 11:39AM|#

I think that the 7th inning "God Bless America" is the thing I hate most about the Yankees. Why do sporting events need to be patriotic displays?

According to my father (a USMC veteran who fought at Okinawa), the national anthem wasn't sung at baseball games until World War II. He thought it was a stupid idea, by the way, redolent of the faux patriotism of the 4Fs and draft dodgers who stayed back home.

|7.7.09 @ 11:43AM|#

No. Ushers prevented fans from leaving their seats during the playing of said religious song.

Fucking Usher. Now there's more than one of him? Speaking of useless entertainers, what are everybody's top activities for avoiding Michael Jackson today?

|7.7.09 @ 11:53AM|#

Finally! Its about time someone came to their sense!

Jiff
www.be-anonymous.tk

|7.7.09 @ 12:19PM|#

Wait a minute, this sounds more like a case of unlawful detention rather than violation of religious liberty. According to the NYCLU's argument it would be OK if they forced you to remain in your seat during a non-religious song.

Locking up the bathrooms would be dickish but legal in my opinion, but actually detaining you at your seat isn't.

|7.7.09 @ 12:32PM|#

I am curious, did this apply to the steinbrenner's and others in the skyboxes?

Art-P.O.G.|7.7.09 @ 12:38PM|#

Now there's more than one of him?

You won't have to worry about his clones' reign of terror anymore after The Fall of the House of Usher.

Jeff P|7.7.09 @ 12:40PM|#

So what about the legion of elderly and incontinents who have shat and urinated themselves during the song in the past?

|7.7.09 @ 12:44PM|#

Jeff P, the greatest generation is much too patriotic to concern themselves with such trivialities. It's them damn hippies gettin up in age that are doin this stuff. America haters. Every damn dope-smokin one of em.

SFH|7.7.09 @ 1:08PM|#

tomcat1066 | July 7, 2009, 11:35am | #
You're serious? This crap really happened? That is probably the most retarded concept I have ever heard of.

I'm as patriotic as they come. I stand during any patriotic song, and my military training kicks in as I stand at attention.

I stand during the National Anthem. I almost never stand during other songs patriotic or not. Certainly not during "God Bless the USA" since someone got beaten for not standing during it.

Russ 2000|7.7.09 @ 1:38PM|#

It justifies the owners picking our pokets in order to build amazing stadiums.

As Bill Veeck said (paraphrasing): "We play the national anthem before every game. You expect us to pay taxes, too?"

|7.7.09 @ 1:47PM|#

Who wants to hear the national anthem or god bless america at a sporting event? Its the game, stupid, the game-not an opportunity for lovers of the state to jerk off to one of the worst pieces of music ever written.

Your Disfunctional Family Rest|7.7.09 @ 1:52PM|#

" Speaking of useless entertainers, what are everybody's top activities for avoiding Michael Jackson today?"

I plan to keep breathing.

|7.7.09 @ 1:59PM|#

I stopped avoiding Michael Jackson when I sprouted pubes.

Xeones|7.7.09 @ 2:34PM|#

Speaking of useless entertainers, what are everybody's top activities for avoiding Michael Jackson today?

Word, dude.

Xeones|7.7.09 @ 2:35PM|#

GODDAMMIT that should be "work," not "word." Christ almighty i am a schmuck.

Tomcat1066|7.7.09 @ 2:43PM|#

I stopped avoiding Michael Jackson when I sprouted pubes.

And that's when he started avoiding you.

|7.8.09 @ 12:02AM|#

"Word" was so much better.