The Putin Solution: Instant Price Controls!

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Michael C. Moynihan | June 25, 2009

Its GDP shrank 10 percent in the last year. Oil revenues are down significantly. And now Vladimir Putin, whose popularity is closely linked to Russia's recent rise in living standards, is prowling the streets of Moscow, laying blame for the financial crisis on usurious grocery store owners and their overpriced borscht. The Telegraph explains:

The prime minister abruptly interrupted a meeting with senior retailers at the Moscow White House, the seat of the Russian government, to drag them on an impromptu visit to a nearby branch of the Perekrestok supermarket chain.

Striding angrily through the aisles with a retinue of glum executives in tow, Mr Putin came to a halt in the supermarket's cold meat section and gesticulated towards a packet of sausages priced at just under £5.

Rounding on Yuri Kobaladze, the chain's head of corporate relations, Mr Putin demanded: "Why do your sausages cost 240 roubles? Is that normal?" "But these are high quality sausages," Mr Kobaladze replied, looking crestfallen.

With a look of relief crossing his face, the executive spotted some cheaper sausages.

"Look, these ones are just 49 roubles," he said.

But the prime minister was not to be deterred. "Too expensive," he muttered, before conjuring up a price list from his pocket. "I can show you your mark up. Look at this kind of sausage. You've marked it up by 52 per cent"...

Having primed his victim, Mr Putin moved in for the kill. Consulting his crib sheet, he pointed towards a packet of pork fillets.

"This is double the (cost) price," he said to Mr Kobaladze. "Is this normal?"

"Is 120 per cent a high mark up?" Mr Kobaladze responded timidly.

"Very high," the prime minister said.

"It will be lowered tomorrow," the executive replied.

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|6.25.09 @ 5:41PM|#

Too bad the executive didn't have any stones at all.

Rounding on Yuri Kobaladze, the chain's head of corporate relations, Mr Putin demanded: "Why do your sausages cost 240 roubles? Is that normal?"

Answer. "Yes. Those are very nice sausages, worth every pfennig."

Consulting his crib sheet, he pointed towards a packet of pork fillets.

"This is double the (cost) price," he said to Mr Kobaladze. "Is this normal?"

Answer: "Yes. This store doesn't run on uniform farts, Vlad. We have to mark everything up to cover our costs. Our margin on this store is about 4%, barely enough to make sure it stays open."

|6.25.09 @ 5:42PM|#

Ivan: How much are your sausages?
Vlad: 240 roubles.
Ivan: 240! That's outrageous! I can buy them for half that from Boris across the street.
Vlad: So? Why don't you buy them from him?
Ivan: He's sold out
Vlad: OK come back this afternoon. When I'm sold out I'll lower the price to 50.

|6.25.09 @ 5:48PM|#

The problem is the sausage guy has been wasting money on marketing sausages to people who don't need them. He spends time and money on cosmetic changes that don't really add any value, I mean really, we only need Sweet or Spicy, right?

So, here's the deal. We aren't interested in draconian measures like sausage price caps, but access to sausage needs to be improved. We'll set up a Social Sausage Administration and have them negotiate a fair price for sausage. Problem solved.

|6.25.09 @ 6:06PM|#

Similar stunts have been pulled many times in the past by politicians who either do not understand economics or prefer to pretend not to understand economics.

Also, farm subsidy advocates play similar games. How often have you heard something like "Out of the $1.49 you pay for a loaf of bread, the farmer only gets 5 cents."

------------------------

Jennifer

All polonium supplement are no charge for consumer. In ~~Soviet Union~~ Russia we is doing what is good for people.

Strong Bad|6.25.09 @ 5:20PM|#

If you want to be possessive, it's just I-T-S, but if it's supposed to be a contraction, it's I-T-apostrophe-S. Scallowags!

Episarch|6.25.09 @ 5:20PM|#

What the fuck is he doing in that picture?

|6.25.09 @ 5:27PM|#

I had totally blocked that whole disturbing incident out of my memory until I saw this picture again. Creepy.

|6.25.09 @ 5:28PM|#

Episarch,

In a not-so-brilliant PR improvisation, Putin lifted up a young boy's shirt and kissed his stomach.

Rich|6.25.09 @ 5:32PM|#

He's just checking for Advil.

jtuf|6.25.09 @ 5:34PM|#

I started avoiding eating mammals in college. It's better for my health, encourages more efficient land use, and less expensive. In fact, in grad school, there was no way I could afford to eat pork and sausage. Cry me a river Putin.

Flex Nasty B.I.G.|6.25.09 @ 5:39PM|#

Yeah, you really should fix the first word of the post. It should be "Its", not "It's".

robc|6.25.09 @ 5:40PM|#

What is "Fuck You, Putin" in Russian? Because that is what the pussy grocery exec should have said.

Er, that should be unicorn farts. They don't call it RC'z Law for nothing.

Xeones|6.25.09 @ 5:43PM|#

robc: yob tvoyu mat' is always good. Technically, that's "fuck your mother," but it's close enough, right?

Mister DNA|6.25.09 @ 5:51PM|#

We'll set up a Social Sausage Administration and have them negotiate a fair price for sausage. Problem solved.

Which means Russia will need a Sausage Czar.

|6.25.09 @ 5:53PM|#

This new Sausage Czar will need some guidance from someone with experience. Can somebody get Abe Frohman on the horn?

Jennifer|6.25.09 @ 5:54PM|#

What would Putin consider a fair markup for polonium additives in food, I wonder?

Jordan|6.25.09 @ 5:54PM|#

Same shit, different tyrant. This is just the Russian version of Obama's "pitchforks" dipshittery.

|6.25.09 @ 6:00PM|#

JasonL wins. Despite having a goofy, obviously-fake name like "Jason."

|6.25.09 @ 6:01PM|#

Nominees to head the Social Sausage Administration:

Representatives Barney Frank and Anthony Weiner

So he's saying it's immoral to charge a 120% markup? I wonder how much caviar costs in "Putinworld".

Mister DNA|6.25.09 @ 6:09PM|#

re the photo: I like to think that every summer, a lucky Russian child is chosen (based on a winning essay), and Putin gnaws his way through the child's abdomen, up into the chest cavity, and pulls out the youth's still-beating heart with his teeth.

|6.25.09 @ 6:11PM|#

Mister DNA,

Don't be silly. Everyone in Russia has their belly-button licked clean by the President.

Michael Jackson is dead. Heart attack.

Invisible Sausage|6.25.09 @ 6:11PM|#

"I can show you your mark up. Look at this kind of sausage. You've marked it up by 52 per cent"

But if you come back tomorrow for our "Running Of the Jew" sale the markup is only 12%! Line up early, inventory goes fast!

Doug|6.25.09 @ 6:18PM|#

I just figured he was pressing his mouth against the kid's stomach and blowing to make that blatting, flatulent sound.

|6.25.09 @ 6:18PM|#

But who will be the backstop for our pedophile jokes now? Vladimir Putin, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you...

|6.25.09 @ 6:23PM|#

SugarFree | June 25, 2009, 6:11pm | #

Michael Jackson is dead. Heart attack.

See. Plastic isn't good for you.

*moonwalks away quickly*

|6.25.09 @ 6:24PM|#

It's not pedophilia. Putin is a vampire.

Mister DNA|6.25.09 @ 6:30PM|#

We'll always have Gary Glitter.

|6.25.09 @ 6:47PM|#

It's funny how we all laugh at the silly central planners when they price fix foods or energy or whatever, then we politely debate whether the Fed has set the interest rate correctly.

Robert Mugabe|6.25.09 @ 6:48PM|#

Similar stunts have been pulled many times in the past by politicians who either do not understand economics or prefer to pretend not to understand economics.

Racist.

BakedPenguin|6.25.09 @ 6:51PM|#

Mr. DNA, Gary publicly owned up to it with this one. Right up there with Amy Winehouse's Rehab for a public confession.

Rimfax|6.25.09 @ 6:52PM|#

Kulaks!!!

lukas|6.25.09 @ 6:53PM|#

And of course, Kobaladze is Georgian. Not quite as bad as being a Jew, but coming close... and now that the Jews have left Russia, some deplorable group is going to take over.

Mister DNA|6.25.09 @ 6:59PM|#

Baked Penguin,

Gary Glitter was giving the British public a heads up long before he was known as Gary Glitter.

(a tip of the hat to the H&R poster who hipped me to that clip)

BakedPenguin|6.25.09 @ 7:04PM|#

Mr. DNA, unless you're making a Glitter / Putin joke that flew over my head, you Sugarfree'd the link.

Mister DNA|6.25.09 @ 7:05PM|#

BP,

Sorry about that.

BakedPenguin|6.25.09 @ 7:14PM|#

He does seem preoccupied with the subject. I mean, over a couple decades.

Mötorhead were even less subtle.

|6.25.09 @ 8:02PM|#

Well at least we know Obama would never get away with a stunt like that here. The media would be all over him like Mark Sanford on a tango dance floor.

Mike|6.25.09 @ 10:33PM|#

"What is "Fuck You, Putin" in Russian? Because that is what the pussy grocery exec should have said."

Yeah, but he'd probably be dead the next day.

JB|6.26.09 @ 12:12AM|#

Putin makes Michael Jackson look good. And MJ is dead!

Polio Robot|6.26.09 @ 3:12AM|#

"Answer. "Yes. Those are very nice sausages, worth every ~~pfennig~~ kopek."

There, FIFY.

|6.26.09 @ 7:53AM|#

If that were Obama, he would designate a sausage Czar....

|6.26.09 @ 8:34AM|#

I think it should be the Sausage Security Administration.

Spoonman|6.26.09 @ 9:11AM|#

This is creepy Kim Jong Il style shit, where he claims to know how to do everything better than anybody else in the country.

|6.26.09 @ 1:58PM|#

A reminder of how good the business climate is in the USA by comparison, even though the forces of economic darkness are trying desperately to change that.

LoneSnark|6.29.09 @ 1:47AM|#

"Your wage bonuses are too high."

"Is $100 Million too much to pay in bonuses?"

"Yes it is."

"The bonuses will be taken back tomorrow."

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