Ah, President Barack Obama, so young and mod and virile and totally with it (remember his patently phoney iPod list, which managed to cover every possible voting demographic, even rap [but not the bad stuff]?). He's like Jack Kennedy without the cortisone shots and the Swedish Nazi spies. He's not like that ancient hunk of junk from Arizona's Petrified Forest, John McKraken, the guy who couldn't even work a Jitterbug cell phone fer chrissakes or a Life Alert medallion from a prone position. Even Lady Obama wears cool fashion-statement sneakers (costing $540! more than I've spent on half the cars I've ever purchased!) when she clothes the hungry and feeds the naked (the J Crew crap is only for meeting royalty).

And the Obama White House is, we've been told ad nauseum, filled with new media Wunderkinds who most excellently work the Twitter, the Facebook, the whole system of tubes once collectively known as the Information Superhighway by that other cool cat Al Gore (you know, the awkwardly public Grateful Dead fan who spent most of the '80s worrying about Occult messages in John Denver songs). This guy gets it. That's why he had that webcam town meeting where he got down with the folks who run this country—you know, you and me and everyone except all of us who were interested in his seriously addressing drug legalization—and that's why his official version of an online stimulus tracker will be providing meaningful information on where the money went sometime during his third term.

So given all that, can someone please tell me how in the name of sweet fancy Zardoz did the White House release this video of "highlights" from the White House Easter Egg Roll, a damnable tradition that dates back to the days when Rutherford B. Hayes was living in sin in D.C. with a Rhode Island Red?

Watch the whole thing and ask yourself, Is this why the terrorists hate us, or simply a sign that they have won? Is Luis Bunuel or The Mitchell Brothers working the editing booth in the White House these days? And just how are they going to top this at the Thanksgiving Turkey Shoot? Jeebus H. Christ, North Korean propaganda films are looking positively Eisensteinian by comparison. It's 2.27 minutes that you will watch again and again, as every frame is filled with more weird, wild, and wonderful shit than the cover of Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy.