Are You a Terrorist? Take Reason's Short Quiz For Answers, Dammit!

April 16, 2009

According to recent reports issued by the Missouri Information Analysis Center and the Department of Homeland Security (proud sponsors or the Transportation Security Administration), domestic terrorist activity may be on the rise.

Are you part of the problem? Take Reason's short quiz to find out what side you're on—and receive a suitable-for-framing certificate authenticating your disposition.

Go here now! Authorities are standing by!

Comments

High Every Body|4.16.09 @ 3:03PM|#

I believe I should get credit for this quiz because I passed one just like it yesterday.

|4.16.09 @ 3:05PM|#

I just confirmed it. Yup, I'ma t'rrorist.

Anonymous|4.16.09 @ 3:10PM|#

Don't forget that DHS considers dissent and rejection of authority hallmarks of right-wing extremism!

|4.16.09 @ 3:10PM|#

"Are you, or have you ever been, a right-wing extremist?"

"I am foremost a patriot, a man who loves his freedoms; that is willing to fight for the liberty that I and all my kind enjoy that were endowed by our Creator!"

"You're out of line! Answer the question, Mr. Thomas Jefferson!"

Josh|4.16.09 @ 3:12PM|#

Guilty as charged, and without the luxury of due process!!

SpongePaul|4.16.09 @ 3:14PM|#

Guilty and proud of it. id rather be a patriot terroist than a socialist schill

Unka Sam|4.16.09 @ 3:19PM|#

Fiercely proud of it! In fact, today, I think I'll march down to Harry's and hold my head up high, and say, "Harry, I want you to sell me a condom!"

Oh, terrorist. I thought it said Protestant. Carry on.

Stephen Gordon|4.16.09 @ 3:26PM|#

There now seems to be athird similar report:

It's being reported that the Maryland National Guard issued an alert to be on the lookout for numerous entities which "have formed recently to express displeasure/anger over recent federal/state government actions: more taxes, increased spending, higher deficits, a surge of borrowing to pay for it all, bailout of the financial institutions."

"This movement can be identified by different variations of "TEA Party" or "Tea Party." Past "TEA Party" events have been peaceful. There was a "Tea party" event at Solomons, Maryland, on March 22, 2009. "TEA" stands for "Taxed Enough Already,"the report continues.

SpongePaul|4.16.09 @ 3:28PM|#

Under the spreading chestnut tree. I sold you and you sold me

JP|4.16.09 @ 3:33PM|#

Speaking of dangerous right-wing extremists, check out this video of an intrepid CNN "reporter" tying a Tea Partier in knots yesterday with her verbal ju-jitsu. (Not the Hitler guy; the guy they show after him, holding a kid.)

anarch|4.16.09 @ 3:38PM|#

Ask me again tomorrow.

If we're all still here, that is.

|4.16.09 @ 3:40PM|#

it be fun to hire some Home Depot day labourers, rent some pickups, put some fertilizer and yellow jerry cans in the back, slap some liberty bumper stickers on the tailgate and have them drive around photographing various guvmint buildings, bus stations, power lines.....

|4.16.09 @ 3:43PM|#

And all this time I just thought that I was an anarchist.

|4.16.09 @ 3:48PM|#

same thing! love the state!

I love the leader!

|4.16.09 @ 4:01PM|#

I hate to rain on your persecution complexes but I believe that these reports were geared more towards the Poplowski's of the world.

High Every Body|4.16.09 @ 4:07PM|#

I hate to rain on your persecution complexes but I believe that these reports were geared more towards the Poplowski's of the world.

Quit killin' our groove man.

|4.16.09 @ 4:14PM|#

I hate to rain on your persecution complexes but I believe that these reports were geared more towards the Poplowski's of the world.

Of course! And the Patriot Act was only meant to spy and protect us from potential foreign terrorists . . . right? RIGHT???

[How quaint]

JP|4.16.09 @ 4:22PM|#

these reports were geared more towards the Poplowski's of the world

And the Schmenge brothers.

|4.16.09 @ 4:24PM|#

You forgot the question as to whether or not I was a veteran. Seems Jan and the crew think that I may have some combat or weapons skills that I could add to my right wing extreemist ideals that would make me a domestic terrorist. Not to mention that whole oath to defend and support the Constitution against enemies foreign and domestic thing. How dangerous is THAT nowadays anyway?!!

|4.16.09 @ 5:49PM|#

I hope my terroristic leanings don't become public. It could become embarrassing for my boss, Ms. Napolitano.

Xeones|4.16.09 @ 8:24PM|#

Not to mention that whole oath to defend and support the Constitution against enemies foreign and domestic thing. How dangerous is THAT nowadays anyway?!!

Pretty dangerous, seeing as how it makes Con-gress and the administration your enemy.

axiomata|4.17.09 @ 5:06AM|#

You guys do know that even if you answer 'no' to all the questions it still pegs you as a terrorist?

|4.17.09 @ 5:52AM|#

Pretty dangerous, seeing as how it makes Con-gress and the administration your enemy.

Military Coup!!!!!

|4.17.09 @ 5:53AM|#

You guys do know that even if you answer 'no' to all the questions it still pegs you as a terrorist?

That's because just going to this site is UnnaMerkin.

|4.17.09 @ 10:15AM|#

That's because just going to this site is UnnaMerkin.

I have to disagree.

Reason July 1995|4.17.09 @ 8:01PM|#

Does reading this make you a terrorist?