Al Franken Is a Big Fat Jerk...And The Next Senator from Minnesota (or Wherever)

Nick Gillespie | April 14, 2009

As funnyman Al Franken comes one more court decision closer to being named senator from the Land of 10,000 Lakes, can somebody please put a pillow over Norm Coleman already?

Or can we just use this drawn-out annoying waste of public resources to learn the lesson that we really can get by with just one useless sack of goo in the Senate from each state? Everybody else is downsizing, why not the World's Fattest Most Undistinguished Craptacular Greatest Deliberative Body (as Voted On By Its Members)? I suspect that Mike Crapo and Blanche Lincoln would move out without a fight (and yes, you have no idea of who they are, and for good reason).

Hope and change, people, hope and change.

Bonus vid: Al Franken impersonates Mick Jagger and belts out the Stones classic anthem of spousal abuse, Under My Thumb.

Update: I want to amend my statement above that Minnesota can get by with just one senator. In fact, they can probably get by with none. Does anyone outside of her immediate family and the Federal Witness Protection Program know who the hell Amy Klobuchar is?

Comments

Taktix®|4.14.09 @ 9:52AM|#

Franken is one of the least funny professional comedians in existance.

When you peak with Stuart Smalley, you might as well just quit and go into politics...

Davis|4.14.09 @ 9:54AM|#

"Franken is one of the least funny professional comedians in existance."

Franken is the least funny professional comedians ever.

T, FIFY

Xeones|4.14.09 @ 10:10AM|#

Yo, fuck Al Franken. And Norm Coleman.

Fist of Etiquette|4.14.09 @ 10:22AM|#

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly have a lower opinion of the members of the United States Senate, Al Franken enters the mix.

By all means, drag this circus out. Drag it out the whole six years.

Look, one way or the other, each and every member of Congress costs me money. At least this way one of them is costing me money while not simultaneously adding to the pile of bullshit legislation these idiots offer up in an effort to pad their resumes and bank accounts.

phalkor|4.14.09 @ 10:27AM|#

look, I could express some displeasure or indignation or whatever, but I've never even heard of Franken's opponent. This a drop in the ocean of filthy swine that we call the senate. there's very little worse imaginable so my amount of caring goes to zero.

Warty|4.14.09 @ 10:28AM|#

Franken is not a professional comedian. He is a professional comedian impersonator. Very meta.

|4.14.09 @ 10:32AM|#

If the people of Minnisota were dumb enough to vote for him, they get the government they deserve. I am philosophical about this. It is never that bad to see an incumbant go down. It is not like Franken will do that much marginal damage by adding one more clueless liberal nitwit to the Senate, since there are already over 50 of them. Lastly, Franken is a really nasty awful person. He will be an embarassment to the Democrats sooner or later. In 4 years after BO has gone down in flames I guess Jon Stewart and Al Franken can be the face of the Democratic Party. Good luck with that. I hope it works out.

|4.14.09 @ 10:56AM|#

If only I had voted the republican ticket like John I could take partial credit for the past eight years. Iraq, Katrina, Fanny May, Freddy Mac, Record profits for Big Oil, Bank bailouts and on and on. Jeez, I can't imagine why the conservative element of the repukelican party isn't garnering more favor with the voting public.
Reality is a bitch, isn't John?
.

Anonymous crank|4.14.09 @ 10:56AM|#

Second on Franken being a truly vile person. Hate filled, and generally disgusted with both the State of Minnesota, and the people he purports to represent. Norm Coleman, on the other hand is a sharp looking empty suit.

New World Dan|4.14.09 @ 11:15AM|#

If the people of Minnisota were dumb enough to vote for him

Once again, we see the third party spoiler in action. With Norm and Al each only taking 42% of the vote, it's not exactly a mandate from the people. In a straight 2-way race, Norm probably would have won easily. Of course, in a 2-way race, Dean Barkley probably would have beaten either of them.

On the other hand, this ongoing challenge has served the useful function of keeping both Norm and Al out of the senate. If only we can find a way to keep it going another 5 and a half years.

|4.14.09 @ 11:31AM|#

I've been hoping Franken would prevail. Politically he's a first rate douche. But Al has been kicking around Right Wing douches like Rush and O'Reilly. Fish in a barrel.

It will be interesting to see what becomes of him when he has to deal with smart opponents, institutions even, that don't play the ratings game. Most likely, he'll just sell out and take the money like most elected officials. But he just might be enough of a egomaniac to believe his own publicity.

economist|4.14.09 @ 11:31AM|#

I wouldn't mind having a Senate with neither Norm nor Al. Unfortunately, the Minnesotans (is that correct) will bitch constantly if they don't get their lying piece of shit representative in the Senate.

economist|4.14.09 @ 11:33AM|#

Warren,
I dunno. I think Rush sucks less than Franken. No contest on O'Reilly, though. If he disappeared into his own asshole tomorrow, the world would be a better place.

|4.14.09 @ 12:17PM|#

"If only I had voted the republican ticket like John I could take partial credit for the past eight years. Iraq, Katrina, Fanny May, Freddy Mac, Record profits for Big Oil, Bank bailouts and on and on. Jeez, I can't imagine why the conservative element of the repukelican party isn't garnering more favor with the voting public.
Reality is a bitch, isn't John?"

Yeah because no Dems voted for the War in iraq. Chris Dodd and Barney Frank had nothing to do with Freddie and Fannie Mae. BO hasn't spent trillions on bank bailouts and so forth. Whatever reality is, I don't think you are qualified to talk about it because you clearly don't live in it. I would advise you to start taking your meds and stop watching the Daily Show in lieu of actually thinking.

I never thought I would say this but the quality of commentary actually has gone down since Joe left. As annoying as Joe was, he is better than this crap.

|4.14.09 @ 12:19PM|#

Economist,

Rush is a very smart funny guy love him or hate him. He would wipe the floor with a guy like Frankin. If leftists really thought Rush was so dumb, they would have him on their talk shows. They don't because they know he isn't stupid and would probably make them look really bad. O'Reilly in contrast is a complete bullying nitwit.

|4.14.09 @ 12:42PM|#

Rush is a very smart funny guy


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Stop John, you're killing me with the satire.

economist|4.14.09 @ 12:46PM|#

Perhaps it was wrong of me to say that Rush "sucks". But I did qualify that he was better than Franken (not saying much). However, given that Rush regularly performs incredible feats of ideological gymnastics to reconcile contradictory positions, I tend not to think very highly of him.

And O'Reilly is a bullying nitwit. Kind of like Keith Olbermann. They should have their own show together. It could be like Hannity and Colmes, only stupider, and with fistfights.

|4.14.09 @ 12:52PM|#

Does anyone outside of her immediate family and the Federal Witness Protection Program know who the hell Amy Klobuchar is?

Has anyone ever seen Amy Klobuchar and Debbie Stabenow together?

Atlanta|4.14.09 @ 1:28PM|#

"Update: I want to amend my statement above that Minnesota can get by with just one senator. In fact, they can probably get by with none. Does anyone outside of her immediate family and the Federal Witness Protection Program know who the hell Amy Klobuchar is?"

I do. Her father was a columnist for the local paper. I think Amy may have been a cop.

Jimbo|4.14.09 @ 1:38PM|#

What? You don't know who Amy Klobuchar is?!!

Us Minnesotans are constantly told how great she is and how she is a rising start in the Democratic circles. The only evidence I see of her rising star is these articles, so I wouldn't spend too much money in Vegas on her.

She is also well known to all the parents of the kids who were saved from a horrible death from eating motorcycle parts.

http://www.startribune.com/local/40904267.html

When even the uber-lefty rag in town makes fun of your signature law, you know you aren't having the best day.

|4.14.09 @ 2:10PM|#

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Stop John, you're killing me with the satire."


Yeah Tom. He is an idiot. That is how he manages to attract millions of listeners in a genra where nearly everyone fails and why liberals are so anxious to actually debate him or get within 20 feet of him.

Tom you just make yourself look defensie when you say things like that. You can't site one reason why Rush is stupid, you just know he is right? What did you hear that on the Daily Show or something? Again, if he is such an easy mark, why doesn't some smart liberal go on his show and humiliate him?

|4.14.09 @ 2:44PM|#

If you elect me "Ruler of the Americas" my first act as ruler will be new hate crime legislation.

Franken & Olbermann as well as Limbaugh & O'Reilly (and their flying attack monkeys Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter and Jim Cramer) will be tarred and feathered each day on C-SPAN at 9am, 12pm and 5pm each day with special encores at 10pm and 3am on state holidays. Because I hate them.


Rachel Maddow and Michelle Malkin will, of course, be sent to re-education training to learn to get along REALLY well and their new union will be broadcast immediately following the previously decreed C-SPAN programming.

Stewart & Colbert will be allowed to continue broadcasting - but I'll have a big red button that zaps them so hard they'll wet their pants while screaming "Don't Taze me, Ozzy" any time I happen to feel like it.

Norm Coleman and Al Franken will of course be allowed to fight for their lives in a cage match to the death against Jesse Ventura and the winner gets to wipe the smug off Amy Klobuchar's chin.

Jim Treacher|4.14.09 @ 2:50PM|#

No matter what happens, Al Franken can take pride in the fact that he got more votes than "Stewart Saves His Family" got dollars.

Seitz|4.14.09 @ 2:56PM|#

If leftists really thought Rush was so dumb, they would have him on their talk shows. They don't because they know he isn't stupid and would probably make them look really bad.

Umm, no. They don't have him on their show because ever since he was embarrassed by David Letterman years ago, Rush won't do any shows but his own*, where he controls the universe.

*does not include brief dalliance in football commentary.

|4.14.09 @ 2:59PM|#

Yeah Tom. He is an idiot. That is how he manages to attract millions of listeners in a genra where nearly everyone fails and why liberals are so anxious to actually debate him or get within 20 feet of him.

Rich entertainer != smart

Unless you also think that Tom Cruise, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins and Senn Penn are also super smart. They are also wildly successful in a genre where nearly everyone fails.

|4.14.09 @ 3:10PM|#

If leftists really thought Rush was so dumb, they would have him on their talk shows.

You mean like when Campbell Brown invited him to debate the efficacy of stimulus with Ali Velshi?

I know you NEVER miss an opportunity to kiss Rush's ass, but this "people are afraid to debate Limbaugh" trope you've trotted out is some serious hilariously divorced from reality shit.

MEGA-DITTOS JOHN!!!!

|4.14.09 @ 3:27PM|#

Rush, like him or not, is a smart guy. Funny, too. And a tougher nut than his enemies like to believe. He's about half right, in my limited listening (very good on economics and the growth of government, but a standard issue social conservative).

Remember that White House campaign against Rush? Ran up his audience, and has been quietly dropped by the White House as it coincided with the steady drop in Obama's approval ratings. His text today was that DHS memo decried on this site, and how it illustrates that the Obama administration is just the polarizing, bloody-knuckle crew you would expect from Chicago. Nothing wrong with that.

Rush plays to his choir, of course, and has absolutely no reason to pump up the audience of, or expect fair treatment from, other talking heads he considers his ideological enemies.

PETE|4.14.09 @ 4:04PM|#

Here's smart, funny Rush berating a caller that called him out on his support for torture:

http://mediamatters.org/countyfair/200904070031?show=1

Money line from Rush: "I don't know of anybody who died from torture. I do not ever --"

Oh really? http://www.nybooks.com/articles/22614

RC Dean: "Remember that White House campaign against Rush? Ran up his audience, and has been quietly dropped by the White House as it coincided with the steady drop in Obama's approval ratings."

Yeah, among Republicans. Dems and Indies still like him fine. And stead drop was, what? 68 approval to 61? Right track/wrong track numbers are the highest in five years.

WAPO 3/31/09: "The percentage of Americans in the new poll who said the country is on the right track still stands at just 42 percent, but that is the highest percentage saying so in five years and marks a sharp turnabout from last fall, when as many as nine in 10 said the country was heading in the wrong direction. Fifty-seven percent now consider the nation as moving on the wrong track."

Ken Guarino|4.14.09 @ 4:07PM|#

Obama's steady drop in apporival ratings ? What planet are you on ? At almost 70% approval, Obama's one of the most popular presidents ever.Do not depend on Rush for factual information. It will make you look uninformed because you are.

PETE|4.14.09 @ 4:09PM|#

Polls on Rush favorability:

19% favorable:
http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/03/17/politics/politicalhotsheet/entry4872622.shtml

30% favorable:
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/homepage/story/63758.html

32% "Rush Limbaugh shares my values"
http://www.democracycorps.com/strategy/2009/03/rush-limbaugh-weighs-down-heavily-on-republicans/?section=Analysis

|4.14.09 @ 4:19PM|#

How many of you who wrote comments know Al Franken? I do. He's not nasty, awful, or clueless. He's actually quite nice, unpretentious, fair-minded, and considerate. Whether you find him funny is a matter of taste, but I often do (more often in conversation than in public appearances, it is true). He's a novice in politics, so he's on the near end of the learning curve, but he did a lot of research for his last three books and I doubt that even know he knows less about public policy than the average US Senator. All in all Minnesota has made a good choice and there is a chance that he will develop into a superior senator. Give him a chance.

The Angry Optimist|4.14.09 @ 4:24PM|#

I want the Obamatrons to decide which they want. Either 1) we're allowed to criticize Obama out of the box and you can counter how popular he is or 2) it's "early in the Administration" and neither his actions nor his ratings mean shit (yet).

I want a logical fallacy called "appealing to polls". For one, poll-driven argumentation is nothing more than "argumentum ad populum". Two, the wording of the questions is so highly loaded and fraught with problems that anything but the most narrowly constructed polls can be interpreted 1,000 different ways.

The Angry Optimist|4.14.09 @ 4:26PM|#

"Minnesota Republican Norman Coleman is one of the administration's leading butt boys." - Al Franken, in one of those oh-so-well-researched books.

|4.14.09 @ 5:03PM|#

"Minnesota Republican Norman Coleman is one of the administration's leading butt boys." - Al Franken, in one of those oh-so-well-researched books.

That just can't be. Al's "not nasty, awful, or clueless. He's actually quite nice, unpretentious, fair-minded, and considerate".

Or so I've heard. I tried reading one of his screeds and gave up. He's a intolerant asshole who's extensive use of insults in place of rational discourse towards those who differ makes me* seem extremely polite and tolerant in comparison.

If you're a GOPer, you want this guy in front of the news cameras daily.

* I readily admit to being an asshole.

|4.14.09 @ 5:04PM|#

"Minnesota Republican Norman Coleman is one of the administration's leading butt boys." - Al Franken, in one of those oh-so-well-researched books.

That just can't be. Al's "not nasty, awful, or clueless. He's actually quite nice, unpretentious, fair-minded, and considerate".

Or so I've heard. I tried reading one of his screeds and gave up. He's a intolerant asshole who's extensive use of insults in place of rational discourse towards those who differ makes me* seem extremely polite and tolerant in comparison.

If you're a GOPer, you want this guy in front of the news cameras daily.

* I readily admit to being an asshole.

|4.14.09 @ 5:05PM|#

Double post. Oh well.

|4.14.09 @ 5:06PM|#

Good for Al Franken! I know he'll do his very best as senator. I think we should all pray for his continued success!

|4.14.09 @ 5:20PM|#

A college bookstore near where I live used to have giant pile on its remainder table of a book by Amy Klobuchar about the governmental machinations behind building the Metrodome, writeen when she was a polisci grad student. It seemed fairly skeptical toward government, but maybe she's changed.

|4.14.09 @ 5:34PM|#

One of the things I found most distasteful when I lived in Minnesota was the odd combination of cluelessly pretentious "aw, shucks, we're so enlightened and we're just so darn Minnesota nice" out of one side of their mouths while with the other side engaging in truly mind-bogglingly rude, nasty, awful, behavior.

On the other hand, some Minnesotan girls are pretty hot - but you can't tell until you peel thme out of all those layers of clothing. It's kind of like playing a lottery scratch ticket...

Gilbert Martin|4.14.09 @ 5:38PM|#

"If only I had voted the republican ticket like John I could take partial credit for the past eight years. Iraq, Katrina, Fanny May, Freddy Mac, Record profits for Big Oil, Bank bailouts and on and on. Jeez, I can't imagine why the conservative element of the repukelican party isn't garnering more favor with the voting public.
Reality is a bitch, isn't John?"

What John said plus the fact you seem to have overlooked the fact that the Dems were in control of Congress for the last two years of the Bush administration. Congress is responsible for spending.

Oh and record profits for big oil is a feature - not a bug. There's nothing wrong with companies being successful.

Gilbert Martin|4.14.09 @ 5:44PM|#

"Money line from Rush: "I don't know of anybody who died from torture. I do not ever --"

He was talking about Gitmo - not the entire history of the world.

|4.14.09 @ 5:58PM|#

Polls on Rush "favorability" are meaningless. Arbitron polls on his audience are what counts, and they are through the roof.

Polls on Obama's favorability ratings have been falling steadily. Last I heard he was at plus 2 favorable/unfavorable overall. Sure, partisan Dems still like him, but his total numbers are pretty bad for somebody still in his first hundred days, because nobody who isn't a partisan Dem is all that hot for him anymore.

The real comparison isn't with Bush post-multiple-fuckups, its with other Presidents in their first hundred days. On that score, Obama isn't doing so well.

Thank God. The quicker he depletes his political capital, the better off we will all be.

The Angry Optimist|4.14.09 @ 6:02PM|#

I frankly like my hypocrisy (or, as I call it, my "third way"): all politicians feet should be held to the fire right out of the box, but the optimistic polls mean nothing, because everyone loves a new puppy until it becomes an old dog.

Did I use sufficient metaphors there, or should I call Fred Thompson for more folksy gravitas?

|4.14.09 @ 6:52PM|#

If the people of Minnisota were dumb enough to vote for him, they get the government they deserve.

As I recall, whether they did in fact vote for him is precisely the issue in question. This stinks of the shenanigans that got Christine Gregoire elected.

Kreel Sarloo|4.14.09 @ 7:13PM|#

"This stinks of the shenanigans that got Christine Gregoire elected."

Well, it does pretty much look like the Dems have cone up with a variation on the old vote the graveyard trick.

Now with various incentives they get the homeless to go vote for the candidates with a D beside their names. Works pretty good if they can get them in and out before they forget where they are.

It's not illegal, but I'm damned if I accept it as the choice of an informed voter.

|4.14.09 @ 8:04PM|#

Coleman voted for the Bush/Paulson bailout, so fuck him. I don't expect Franken to be any better of course, but at least it will take him some time to get plugged into the machine, and we can hope for a bit of inefficiency in the looting in the meantime.

-jcr

|4.14.09 @ 8:06PM|#

How many of you who wrote comments know Al Franken? I do. He's not nasty, awful, or clueless.

I take it you haven't read any of his books. He's slightly more articulate than the right-wing mouth-foamers, but he's certainly as vicious as any of them.

-jcr

|4.14.09 @ 8:10PM|#

Franken is the least funny professional comedians ever.

Oh, I'm not sure of that. What about Margaret Cho, Jeneane Garofolo, or Rosie O'Donnel, not to mention Franken's old sidekick, Tom Davis?

-jcr

|4.14.09 @ 9:32PM|#

It is not like Franken will do that much marginal damage by adding one more clueless liberal nitwit to the Senate, since there are already over 50 of them.

Umm, it takes 60 votes to get really important things passed in the Senate. Adding Franken to the 58 D's will make a big difference in moving closer to total one party rule. Unless you somehow think divided gov't is a bad thing ...

|4.14.09 @ 11:21PM|#

RC,

I would recheck those numbers.

http://www.gallup.com/poll/117355/Obama-Approval-Rating-Stable-Polarized.aspx

30% favorable:

32% "Rush Limbaugh shares my values"

WTF? 2% believe Rush shares their values but don't have a favorable opinion of him? Do these people not have a favorable opinion of their own values?

|4.15.09 @ 2:28AM|#

I'm not an Al Franken fan, but I loved this clip. Can we please, please, please have the present-day Franken do this bit down the middle aisle on his first day in the Senate, followed by an immediate shift to Al as Heath Ledger's Joker (as Al): "Why so serious?"

Nothing could reflect the character of present-day DC more, except perhaps Richard Belzer reprising his role as the President of the US from Groove Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgTzlXdviWk

|4.15.09 @ 10:31AM|#

Adding Franken to the 58 D's will make a big difference in moving closer to total one party rule. Unless you somehow think divided gov't is a bad thing ...

So the democratic will of the people is less important than having divided government?