Reason Magazine
- reason.com
- reason.tv
- reason.org
- Donate
- Site Search:
Reason on Facebook
Reason on Twitter
Reason on YouTube
Reason RSSGet Reason E-mail Updates!
Manage your Reason e-mail list subscriptionsadvertisements
"This is a gremlin... This is a hooker"
The New
York Post has some fun today at the expense of former New York
Gov. Elliot Spitzer, who went on the Today Show yesterday
to mend his sullied reputation:
Disgraced former Gov. Eliot Spitzer, speaking publicly for the first time about the sex scandal that toppled him from power, yesterday blamed his dalliance with a $4,000-an-hour call girl on mischievous, mythical critters.
"Like most of us, I suppose, I've had flaws," he told Matt Lauer on NBC's "Today" show.
"I've tried to think about it deeply, address it. There are no excuses. I have tried to address these gremlins, confront them," the bumbling former pol said, as if he were battling the furious furballs from the '80s horror flick.
Just to help Spitzer keep things straight, the Post created a handy graphic constrasting the "furious furballs" with call girl Ashley Dupre. Enjoy.
|4.7.09 @ 12:09PM|#
as if he were battling the furious furballs from the '80s horror flick.
*ahem* The "furious furballs" were not gremlins. They only
transform into gremlins if they eat after midnight. In their
furious furball form they are mogwai.
End of nerd rage.
Hugh Akston|4.7.09 @ 12:11PM|#
Note to the Post:
Having sex for money is not a character flaw. It is this country's
oldest and most revered institution. So important is it that many
states and even the feds have introduced (and even passed) Defense
of [having sex for money] amendments.
|4.7.09 @ 12:11PM|#
"Always slippery"
I don't care what anyone says, I will always love The Post. HO
NO!
|4.7.09 @ 12:12PM|#
I almost threw up my breakfast when I saw the 'tards at the Today show touting their interview with Spitzer, with his grinning mug in their studio.
Taktix®|4.7.09 @ 12:21PM|#
I am so sick of this bullshit excuse of "I'm trying to fight the
demons/gremlins/boogeymen."
Just say, "I wanted to get laid and didn't realize how much it
would cost me." There you go -- admitting your "mistake" and your
guilt.
But blaming some non-existent creatures for your faults is such a
fucking cop-out, and I suppose the demons were just sleeping or on
break while you were at work, huh?
(Standard Libertarian Disclaimer: I fully support legal
prostitution, but I also support a guy getting in trouble for the
same reason said guy was going after people)
PeplsfrntOJudea|4.7.09 @ 12:31PM|#
Just add water to a politician and let them eat after midnight and look what happens.
the innominate one|4.7.09 @ 12:32PM|#
I can't imagine the Urkobold will be very happy to have been plagiarized this way. I can see the taints withering already.
dhex|4.7.09 @ 12:33PM|#
i would love to ask him "were you fighting demons when you prosecuted people and held sanctimonious press conferences about the evils of sexual commerce?"
|4.7.09 @ 12:40PM|#
My seconds will call on Damon's seconds (weapons shall be
tainters set on wither), but, to be fair, we stole the idea from
The Today Show.
Here's the
Urkobold posting from yesterday on the same topic.
Menstrual Retardation|4.7.09 @ 12:44PM|#
"and fwiw - very hot. not worth 4 grand."
I respectfully disagree.
T|4.7.09 @ 12:51PM|#
Fuck. I was hoping he would retire disgracefully from public life, but he's already started trying to rehabilitate himself. Give him 5 years and he'll be back in office somewhere. I can only hope his demise is spectacularly disgraceful, painful, and soon.
JLM|4.7.09 @ 12:52PM|#
Naga Sadow | April 7, 2009, 12:11pm | #
"I'd hit it. Just sayin'."
The Gremlin or the Hooker?
|4.7.09 @ 12:53PM|#
Nah, he'll never be back in politics. However, he may get a talk
show or maybe a
reality show.
I love the Spitz--he's a limitless source of comedy gold.
|4.7.09 @ 12:55PM|#
If Spitzer tries to run for office again any opponent will beat him like a rented mule with reminders of Miss Dupree. I don't think there's anything to worry about.
|4.7.09 @ 1:06PM|#
Fuck. I was hoping he would retire disgracefully from public
life, but he's already started trying to rehabilitate himself. Give
him 5 years and he'll be back in office somewhere.
Yup.
If Spitzer tries to run for office again any opponent will beat
him like a rented mule with reminders of Miss Dupree.
The public has a short memory. Give him 5 years, a good publicist,
more puff interviews like the one he just gave, and a weak
opponent, and he's in.
|4.7.09 @ 1:10PM|#
R C Dean,
Not necessarily. See, I intend to wait until he tries to make his
comeback, then I'm going to arrange to have the unnamed gremlins
confront him again.
|4.7.09 @ 1:16PM|#
I expected Spitzer to give that big shit-eating grin of his and claim that if he'd been left alone with his bridge-and-tunnel skanks he could have kept the financial crisis at bay.
|4.7.09 @ 1:17PM|#
Menstrual Retardation | April 7, 2009, 12:44pm | #
"and fwiw - very hot. not worth 4 grand."
I respectfully disagree.
4 grand will get you a lot of blow and models in my town.
JB|4.7.09 @ 1:17PM|#
If this cocksucker had a shred of honor, he would kill himself.
Instead he is one of the world's biggest hypocrites.
I will never do a day in jail for any crime I commit until this
fuckbag is locked up. If Spitzer don't do time, I don't do time.
Any judge, juror, DA has a problem with that, they will be dealt
with.
Taktix®|4.7.09 @ 1:20PM|#
Not necessarily. See, I intend to wait until he tries to
make his comeback, then I'm going to arrange to have the unnamed
gremlins confront him again.
FTW!
Menstrual Retardation|4.7.09 @ 1:43PM|#
"4 grand will get you a lot of blow and models in my
town."
So what town is that? Any good hotels?
(begins packing suitcase)
Naga Sadow|4.7.09 @ 1:44PM|#
Domo,
HA! For you bro. Swear to god man, she gave the money back and
thanked me! ;)
That Female Gremlin|4.7.09 @ 1:48PM|#
"That female gremlin always reminded me of LaToya
Jackson..."
Fuck you, bitch.
|4.7.09 @ 1:49PM|#
So what town is that? Any good hotels?
(begins packing suitcase)
NYC, kids, but the hotel will break the bank - the models, not so
much if you are decent looking and can dress the part. come to
think of it, maybe this was Eliots problem...
|4.7.09 @ 1:50PM|#
I'm happy to be over-ruled by superior geek knowledge, but I thought all the gremlins were male. That means the "female" gremlin is a tranny.
|4.7.09 @ 1:51PM|#
she gave the money back and thanked me!
One of the many advantages of being a sith lord, no doubt.
|4.7.09 @ 1:51PM|#
That means the "female" gremlin is a tranny.
Which affects Naga's enjoyment not one whit.
|4.7.09 @ 1:54PM|#
domo,
He is a fan of teh fake boobs. Once you start dealing with a
chassis that had a lot of after-market work done, who the fucking
knows what you are getting?
Menstrual Retardation|4.7.09 @ 1:59PM|#
"NYC, kids, but the hotel will break the bank - the models, not
so much"
I'll stay at the The Hilton Millenium, I can save a little by only
eating at Mamoun's.
|4.7.09 @ 1:59PM|#
Once you start dealing with a chassis that had a lot of
after-market work done, who the fucking knows what you are
getting?
Speaking of which, I am considering a class action suit against the
wonderbra company for conspiracy to defraud.
|4.7.09 @ 2:14PM|#
Railing hookers is the best thing Spitzer
did in public office.
I just can't keep up with the slang these days? Railroading?
Nailing? Some kind of kinky thing involving toy trains? A little
help here?
High Every Body|4.7.09 @ 2:17PM|#
A little help here?
Pretty sure it is not group action. Might need to help yourself on
this one.
Orange Line Special|4.7.09 @ 2:21PM|#
Meanwhile, from the Actually Important department, here's why anyone should be sharply criticial of Eliot Spitzer. Needless to say, Reason would support such a scheme despite the fact that none of them would vote L.
|4.7.09 @ 2:25PM|#
Needless to say, Reason would support such a scheme despite
the fact that none of them would vote L.
could that be because they aren't partisan hacks, and actually
believe in their principles?
Spoonman|4.7.09 @ 2:36PM|#
I just can't keep up with the slang these days? Railroading? Nailing? Some kind of kinky thing involving toy trains? A little help here?
Insert penis into vagina; do what comes naturally.
Medic|4.7.09 @ 4:07PM|#
"as if he were battling the furious furballs from the '80s
horror flick.- Umm that would be Critters 1,2 or 3
How am I supposed to take anyone seriously if they can't even get
their source material correct!
geezzz people.
A quick Google search could have helped him out.
Ed|4.7.09 @ 4:48PM|#
Um I know that spitzer is no libertarian, but doesn't he get at least a TEENY WEENY bit of credit for being the ONLY whistleblower on wall street??? Surely some of those prosecutions had merit.
|4.7.09 @ 5:04PM|#
but doesn't he get at least a TEENY WEENY bit of credit for
being the ONLY whistleblower on wall street??? Surely some of those
prosecutions had merit.
He might, if he had actually prosecuted them. Instead he abused his
public office, tried the cases in the media, and settled out of
court for big fines. In other words, legal blackmail. If he had a
real case, and not simply salacious headline grabing material, the
public good would have been better served by actually fulfilling
the role of his office.
|4.7.09 @ 5:07PM|#
He also knowingly acted in areas completely preempted by federal law, just to make a big media splash. The guy was and is totally reprehensible.
Site comments/questions:
Media Inquiries and Reprint Permissions:
(310) 367-6109
Editorial & Production Offices:
3415 S. Sepulveda Blvd.
Suite 400
Los Angeles, CA 90034
(310) 391-2245