Mary Beth Buchanan vs. John Murtha: Which One Do You Root For?

Jacob Sullum | April 2, 2009

A couple of years ago, I worried that the 2008 presidential race would come down to Rudy Giuliani vs. Hillary Clinton, in which case I would have had a hard time deciding who was worse. Here is a similarly challenging choice: In a match-up between Mary Beth Buchanan and John Murtha, which one do you root for? As Charlie Deitch notes in a Pittsburgh City Paper profile, the U.S. attorney for western Pennsylvania, who is famous for prosecuting pornographers, paraphernalia producers, and pain doctors, is rumored to be contemplating charges against the 18-term congressman from Johnstown, who is famous for taking campaign contributions from local businesses to which he funnels taxpayer money. Doesn't Buchanan know that Murtha is corrupt only because he's exceptionally good at serving his constituents?

As we saw in the case of former Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens, another longtime legislator with legendary pork-pulling abilities, it's very hard to demonstrate a connection between campaign contributions (or, in Stevens' case, personal gifts) and official actions: The prosecutors who went after Stevens did not even try, and they convicted him of gift concealment only by cheating. In any event, Buchanan may run out of time; although she has said she wants to stay, Deitch reports the president's advisers are batting around names of possible replacements. The profile, which focuses on Buchanan's most controversial cases, is well worth reading (and not just because it quotes me).

More on Buchanan here. More on Murtha here.

Comments

the innominate one|4.2.09 @ 1:16PM|#

none of the above really ought to be an option on every ballot

|4.2.09 @ 1:21PM|#

Another lawyer running for office? Gee, what are the odds of that happening?

SpongePaul|4.2.09 @ 1:25PM|#

shit or crap, not much of a choice there. When will the people wake up and realize its up to them to make a change, not the president or congress or anyone else, but YOU I and WE. Hopefully a Libertarian will step up and run against the Shit, but the people are so brainwashed as to an R or D that An L or I means not good to them. stupid stupid general public.

PiledhighDeep|4.2.09 @ 1:27PM|#

Career-ending injuries for both?

|4.2.09 @ 1:47PM|#

I think PiledhighDeep has the right idea here.
If not fatalities.

T|4.2.09 @ 1:50PM|#

Personally, I'm hoping for coincidental simultaneous meteor strikes.

|4.2.09 @ 1:52PM|#

I'm guessing that Buchannan will cheat and will blow a whistle that will disorient Murtha, then strike the finishing blow while he clutches his ears.

Warty|4.2.09 @ 1:56PM|#

I just hope that I don't get killed by the release of energy when they annihilate each other.

Xeones|4.2.09 @ 2:13PM|#

I just hope that I don't get killed by the release of energy when they annihilate each other.

Or crushed by the tremendous, stupid mass when they merge into one horrendous idiocy.

Naga Sadow|4.2.09 @ 2:18PM|#

Sullum,

You would be on firmer(and more interesting) ground to ask who would win between Kirk and Picard. Now cue Pro Lib to enter and give us his analysis on why The Shat would kick his ass.

|4.2.09 @ 2:24PM|#

Naga,

Hand-to-hand? Or ship-to-ship? Because I have different answers to each.

|4.2.09 @ 2:28PM|#

another longtime legislator with legendary pork-pulling abilities,

Well-played, Jacob. Very well-played.

I'm guessing that Buchannan will cheat and will blow a whistle that will disorient Murtha,

I thought the only rule was, there are no rules.

|4.2.09 @ 2:30PM|#

Or crushed by the tremendous, stupid mass when they merge into one horrendous idiocy.

You know it's going to be like every superhero team-up story ever. At first, they'll fight, then they'll understand that they've just mistaken identities, then they'll join forces to fight against evil (or, in this case, decency and correct civil procedure.)

Naga Sadow|4.2.09 @ 2:32PM|#

Legate,

Both. And if your answer isn't Shatner then you are gonna have to deal with Epi and Pro Lib. You've been warned.

???|4.2.09 @ 2:37PM|#

Shatner? Really? With his gut?

Naga Sadow|4.2.09 @ 2:41PM|#

Especially with his gut.

Jordan|4.2.09 @ 2:53PM|#

Wow, every one of you misread the Jacob's post. Buchanan isn't running for office, she's considering bringing charges against that shitbag Murtha. Only John Murtha could make me root for this bitch.

Jordan|4.2.09 @ 2:54PM|#

"the Jacob"

Umm wtf. I meant Jacob.

|4.2.09 @ 2:57PM|#

Chris Pike, FTW

Kevin

|4.2.09 @ 2:59PM|#

Sorry. Ship-to-ship, I'll have to go with Picard. He has his own maneuver. If Kirk had a maneuver named after him, it would either be his double-fisted hammer drop to the back of the neck, or the (just) pre-coital "grab this week's space wench by the arms just above the elbow and kiss her like she's made of pure bacon". Nothing in the neighborhood of "going to warp and kicking out of it mid-battle," which was made of pure peppered bacon.

SpongePaul|4.2.09 @ 3:17PM|#

I thin kKirk does have a maneuver named after him, just in the bed, not on the ship. Oicards Manuver was developed because he was always onboard. not chasing after green alien poon

|4.2.09 @ 4:45PM|#

Kirk has the swirl maneuver.

|4.2.09 @ 6:48PM|#

Come, come, isn't it obvious? Buchanan is setting herself up for matyrdom. The Team R claim will be she was willing to work under Team D's boss, but then she went after a Team D player and the boss fired her. Isn't she just a paragon of integrity, etc. etc.

'scuse me, I just threw up. A lot.

duster|4.2.09 @ 7:47PM|#

How about Buchanan fails, loses her job, and Murtha doesn't get re-elected.

I just can't wish for anything but failure for that biotch.

|4.3.09 @ 3:43PM|#

"Buchanan isn't running for office"...WRONG

It is widely known in Pittsburgh that Buchanan is considering running for office soon. The question is whether she will attempt a run at a state position such as governor/attorney general, or a run at U.S. Senator.

To date, Buchanan has been in contact with the head of the Republican Party in Pittsburgh to discuss her future plans. She has hired a public relations spokesperson on the tax payers dime to push positive PR for her in the press. This latest move on Murtha is questionable.

If the DOJ is serious in investigating Murtha, they would ask Buchanan, a known ideolog of questionable veracity and bias, to recuse herself so that another untainted representative of the DOJ can step in.