How Many Jobs Does Each American Have?

Evidently the economic situation is even worse than President Obama thinks. In his Washington Post op-ed piece, you may recall, he claims that "if nothing is done, this recession might linger for years," in which case "our economy will lose 5 million more jobs." But Obama is an optimist compared to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who last month declared:

Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package, 500 million Americans lose their jobs. I don't think we can go fast enough to stop that.

The New York Post notes that Pelosi made the same claim in a January 18 interview on Fox News Sunday, whereupon Chris Wallace asked her if she meant 500,000, rather than 500 million:

"What did I say, million?" asked Pelosi, adding that it "feels like 500 million."

"Some 500,000 Americans will lose their jobs each month until we have a recovery package," she said.

"Yes, Madam Speaker, it feels like almost twice the entire population are losing their jobs each month," retorted Wallace.

On the bright side, when Pelosi demands $1 trillion in "stimulus," maybe she really means $1 billion. 

[via The Freedom Files]

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  • Bingo||

    Oh c'mon Jacob, this is a little pedantic.

  • Nonnie||

    Nancy Pelosi is obviously unfit to be on the world stage.

  • HammeredHead||

    Wow I had no idea she made the same mistake twice. I can forgive a slip of the tounge, but twice. I fear for our country with the continual race to the bottom in quality for our leadership.

  • ||

    Didn't she also claim that natural gas wasn't a fossil fuel?

  • ||

    Pedantic?!?! PEDANTIC?!?!

    That lady deserves nothing but scorn. The left should be made fun of for their speech flubs for the same reason the right should be.

    People who claim to know how to run my life better than I can (I'm in her district) had better speak properly .

    Fuck Her

  • ||

    Nancy Pelosi makes GWB look like a prodigy.
    The fact that she's leading the HOR is a black mark on
    the entire Democratic party.

  • Neu Mejican||

    Wow.

    Jacob Sullum is a petty twit.

    It is hard to look like the petty twit when you are talking about Pelosi, but Jacob Sullum did it.

    Kudos.

  • Ska||

    "Yes, Madam Speaker, it feels like almost twice the entire population are losing their jobs each month," retorted Wallace.


    That's a good line though.

  • zoltan||

    Ugh, she's the Sarah Palin of the Democrats.

  • zoltan||

    But uglier.

  • MAX HATS||

    Wait, you guys only work one job?

    Lazy, lazy, lazy.

  • ||

    Anyone can screw up a line. It is the things she means to say that worry me.

  • cunnivore||

    Sorry guys, this is the equivalent of "fool me once, fool me twice." As Hammered said, I could understand slipping once, but TWICE? With the same egregious mistake? And this wasn't just a slip that she corrected herself immediately -- she had to be corrected by someone else.

    Of course, I imagine it becomes hard to think before you speak after you've been making a living as a professional liar for twenty-something years.

  • Shannon Love||

    Of course Pelosi simply misspoke but if we apply the rules applied to Republicans by the media, then obviously this is evidence of her profound intellectual failings.

  • cunnivore||

    And look, Neu Mejican immediately weighs in on the side of the statists. Let me know when something unusual happens.

  • ||

    Do you think that, in say October or November of this year, Nancy Pelosi will be saying, "every month that we continue with this stimulus package, another 1 million workers lose their jobs"?

    Nah, probably not, it will probably be something along the lines of, "every month that we don't pass Stimulus Package Version 3.1, another 1 million workers lose their jobs"

  • Nancy Pelosi||

    As a mother and a grandmother, I am. Oops, I wet myself.

  • zoltan||

    I met one of her daughters once. Not so bad looking.

  • ||

    Somebody better get her back to the shop and quick, before she gets stuck in a verbal loop at a press conference. Its obvious that she still has an original Pentium as her core processor and the mathamatical error has compounded itself big time.

  • Naga Sadow||

    Awesome! I'm gonna give it a try at work. "That'll be elentybillion dollars, please."

    On a somewhat related note: Is Pelosi related to Dan Qualye by any chance?

  • ||

    Its obvious that she still has an original Pentium as her core processor and the mathamatical error has compounded itself big time.

    They overclocked her! Now there's gonna be trouble!

  • Madam Speaker||

    Wow I had no idea she made the same mistake twice.

    Sorry, I can't count that low. Do you mean perhaps a million times?

  • [Citation needed]||

    A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real unemployment.

  • ||

    On the other hand, Pelosi's gaffe is only slightly more off-base than the massaged unemployment figures that are actually being reported by the BLS.

  • ||

    Neu--Jeez, lighten up Francis.

    There should be no limit to mocking the political class, especially a self-rightous fuck like Pelosi.

  • Kolohe||

    "you know I meant to say 'Honey, could you please pass the potatoes?', but what came out was 'You ruined my life, you god**** f*****' b****!'"

  • ||

    They overclocked her! Now there's gonna be trouble!

    You always have to check the hands. It's the only way you can tell.

  • Famous Mortimer||

    "Of course Pelosi simply misspoke but if we apply the rules applied to Republicans by the media, then obviously this is evidence of her profound intellectual failings."

    Oh, enough. Yes, the complete intellectual vacancy of GWB, and his consistent, disinterested attitude toward the job that he was doing certainly requires this kind of petty revenge, doesn't it?

    But, hey, when Libertarian philosophy is considered even more irrelevant than it was before the tech boom, you have to find a way keep the snarking alive.

    Don't worry gentlemen, the market will work it out.

  • ev||

    On a more serious note,

    ""you know I meant to say 'Honey, could you please pass the potatoes?', but what came out was 'You ruined my life, you god**** f*****' b****!'""

    "god****?" What is this? It looks as if I should be aware of this. Godshit? Godfuck? Surely not Godcock?

    (please let it be godcock)

  • alan||

    Episiarch | February 5, 2009, 7:48pm | #
    Its obvious that she still has an original Pentium as her core processor and the mathamatical error has compounded itself big time.

    They overclocked her! Now there's gonna be trouble!


    Original Pentuim, huh. Shit. This sounds like a job for Michael Abrash!

    Yes, I am nerdy enough to know who he is even if I rail against Star Trek divergancies.

  • cunnivore||

    ev, goddamn.

  • alan||

    Famous Mortimer | February 5, 2009, 7:59pm | #
    "Of course Pelosi simply misspoke but if we apply the rules applied to Republicans by the media, then obviously this is evidence of her profound intellectual failings."

    Oh, enough. Yes, the complete intellectual vacancy of GWB, and his consistent, disinterested attitude toward the job that he was doing certainly requires this kind of petty revenge, doesn't it?

    But, hey, when Libertarian philosophy is considered even more irrelevant than it was before the tech boom, you have to find a way keep the snarking alive.


    Whew, thanks there buddy for your boring ass tirade against libertarianism. You put me to sleep there. The nap was awesome.

  • Verbum sapientiae legis joseph||

    Disinterested doesn't mean what you think it means.

  • Urkobold™||

    PELOSI SURE HAS A BIG RACK. WONDER IF SHE WASN'T REPULSIVE WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER? MUCH YOUNGER? DON'T SEE TITS THAT BIG IN POLITICS VERY OFTEN. SURE, THERE WAS JACK RYAN'S WIFE, BUT THAT WAS A SPECIAL MOMENT.

  • Neu Mejican||

    cunnivore | February 5, 2009, 7:37pm | #
    And look, Neu Mejican immediately weighs in on the side of the statists. Let me know when something unusual happens.


    The force of my insult, of course, depends upon the implication in it that Pelosi is such a petty twit herself that it is impressive that Jacob Sullum can come across as even more of a twit.

    If you see that as siding with the statists, then I am pretty sure I am not worried about your opinion.

  • HammeredHead||

    Great comments on Pentiums. Watch the movie Futureworld. It will all be explained there.

  • Neu Mejican||

    Erÿk Gabhran Boston, Esq. | February 5, 2009, 7:30pm | #
    Anyone can screw up a line. It is the things she means to say that worry me.


    We have a thread winner.

  • F00F bug||

    Dont blame me.

  • ||

    Her repeated flubs show that she is not a rational thinker and makes her decisions based on emotions. It feels like 500 million? Only if you're an innumerate ideologue.

  • ||

    Only if you're an innumerate ideologue.

    I think "demagogue" is the more suitable insult. There aren't many ideas at work here.

  • economist||

    Famous Mortimer,
    Are you auditioning for the role for of the new Lefiti? Or were you just born like that?

  • economist||

    "It feels like 500 million?"
    I feel like we're doomed.

  • ||

    Is this the worst Congress ever? I think it may be.

  • ||

    Is this the worst Congress ever? I think it may be.

    I think every Congress since about 1912 has been "the worst Congress ever." Maybe a brief two-minute spell in 1994 where that was not the case.

  • ||

    Well, I figure I do need around 4 jobs just to get by.

  • ||

    Don't worry gentlemen, the market will work it out.

    Indeed it will. But only after its has spanked us and reminded us of reality a little more.

    That's why so many people hate the market, really. It has the nasty habit of smacking people around with the consequences of their own irresponsible behavior.

  • economist||

    Hazel,
    Careful what you say to Mortimer. He's gotten a lot pissier lately. I think it may be time to launch another spoof war.

  • Famous Mortimer||

    If you all weren't so slavishly devoted to lowering taxes, you could be relevant like me and have all the people in power coming to you for advice.

    And you would get a free unicorn.

  • Shannon Love||

    Famous Mortimer,

    The repeated intonations by the left that Republican Presidents are idiots is nothing but a tribal ego-identification ritual. You and your little buddies just stand around bonding by telling each other what a moron Bush is and how smart you are by comparison.

    The fact that he got his undergraduate degree in history form Yale in only 2.5 years, then got his MBA from Harvard, was a supersonic jet fighter pilot (one of the cognitively complex task possible) and has read something like 180 books on history in the last two years, means nothing.

    But of course it would if he were a Democrat.

    The idea that an idiot can rise to the office of President is simply one of the stupidest and obviously self-serving ideas to pop up in politics. If nothing else, the competitive pressures for the office weed out the slow of wit. You cling to the refrain because it lets you avoid substances.

  • economist||

    Shannon,
    We all think Bush is an idiot. It's just that Famous Mortimer is also an idiot, a conceited asshole, and an all-around twit, albeit less harmful in his own right.

  • Famous Mortimer||

    I didn't make the 9:57 post, asshole. Somebody's putting words in my mouth. It's probably economist he came up with the "spoof war" idea.

  • Famous Mortimer||

    I'm also taking lessons in autofell from Lefiti.

  • alan||

    Graphite | February 5, 2009, 9:21pm | #
    Is this the worst Congress ever? I think it may be.

    I think every Congress since about 1912 has been "the worst Congress ever." Maybe a brief two-minute spell in 1994 where that was not the case.


    Yeah, I remember those two minutes very well. It was the great epoch between the second that Newt Gingrich brought the gavel down to begin the new session and the second or so that took him to get around to praising FDR. A glorious 120 they were.

  • ||

    Things I learned while reading H&R today:

    -adjective
    1. unbiased by personal interest or advantage; not influenced by selfish motives: a disinterested decision by the referee.

  • ||

    Godcock it is. Well done.

  • cunnivore||

    Spooging other posters is not cool.

  • cunnivore||

    Nor is spoofing them, as joez law strikes again...

  • jtuf||

    This makes sense. Cosidering the district she lives in, she probably grew up learning "new math".

  • jtuf||

    Pelosi's mathbook problem 1:

    Jane has five apples. Bob takes two apples from Jane. Write an essay describing the gender injustice of a capitalist system that allows Bob to take Jane's apples.

  • Jordan||

    Spooging other posters is not cool.



    Why in god's name would you be thinking about spooge after reading a post about Grandma Pelosi?

  • interested||

    kwais, was it good for you too?

  • ||

    That's not joe'z law, that's R C's Law, and it's perhaps the finest example found yet.

    Spooging other posters. Is not cool.

    Awesome.

  • The Spoof Troll||

    Some posters deserve to get spoofed. If they hang around and post just to be assholes, then spoofing them is fair game. Most of the time spoofs are readily identifiable as such. If not, they have bigger problems than being spoofed.

  • ||


    On the bright side, when Pelosi demands $1 trillion in "stimulus," maybe she really means $1 billion.



    OTOH, maybe she means "$1 quadrillion"

    Hello, ZibabwUSA!

  • JB||

    Someone needs to punch that bitch in the head a few thousand times...that might improve her intelligence.

  • ||

    Yes, we've just lost 500 trillion jobs... in all 570 states.

  • ||

    Awesome

    Agreed.

  • economist||

    We have just lost 6.02*10^23 jobs, in 500,000 states.

    Lord Xenu XXV is most displeased.

  • ||

    Yawn

  • ||

    Why did the people who got their panties in a twist about Jacob's post feel that way? Does anybody think Pelosi is some sort of brain? She flubbed her talking points because 1) She needs to have talking points or else she wouldn't know what to say in public, and 2) She's kind of dumb.

  • ||

    Write an essay describing the gender injustice of a capitalist system that allows Bob to take Jane's apples.

    I actually had math problems like this in junior high. No joke.

  • Xeones||

    Fuck the hell out of Nancy Pelosi.

    Famous Mortimer, you are a boring waste of a perfectly good Mr. Show reference.

  • economist||

    That allows "Bob" to take Jane's "apples".

  • Famous Mortimer||

    Why won't anyone be my friend?

    Wahhh!

    WIngnuts! Libertarian a**holes! Listen to me! I'm talking about why I'm so much more relevant and successful than you are!

    LISTEN TO ME!

  • Ska||

    This thread got so good for all the wrong reasons.

    Spooging Godcock.. You got that Friday Funnies?

  • ||

    I don't know how many jobs each American has, but approximately 7,258,000 had more than one in January.

    Have a nice day.

  • zoltan||

    Woodrow Wilson had a doctorate, doesn't make him any kind of genius.

  • alan||

    Ska | February 6, 2009, 9:05am | #
    This thread got so good for all the wrong reasons.

    Spooging Godcock.. You got that Friday Funnies?


    Ska, if we ever form a band together, we got a name ~~ Spooging Godcock.

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