When a Penthouse Pet Loses Her Job, It's a Recession. When a Playboy Bunny Loses Her Job, It's a Depression

Nick Gillespie | January 28, 2009

Mr. Luce's newsweekly reports from the front lines of the world-wide economic crisis:

This year, with Playboy's stock down more than 70%, Hef has cancelled its Super Saturday Night party. Instead, the company is sponsoring a DirectTV event; four Playmates will be on hand, compared to the 22 who showed up at last year's Playboy bash.

More here.

In other words, add Playboy, a company that has been leaking market share for decades, to the list of firms that are now in the shitter because of systemic problems. Oftentimes, economic downturns allow businesses to do what they know they need to do, including cutting costs and trimming the payroll. That's all well and good unless, like the U.S. automakers, they come asking for a handout.

Comments

Naga Sadow|1.28.09 @ 4:29PM|#

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait. Does this mean that bunnies are . . . ahem . . . cheaper now? As in not so much in maintenance?

SpongePaul|1.28.09 @ 4:34PM|#

Times must be bad when Hef needs a Harem Cut

Jeff P|1.28.09 @ 4:35PM|#

No man can have that many live in girlfriends and expect to say solvent.
But if you're gonna go broke, that's the way to go...

|1.28.09 @ 4:36PM|#

Are there still guys jerking it to hyper-airbrushed soft core porn photos?

It's the internet Heff meister; soft core doesn't sell anymore. Get some dwarfs doing some bukakke and you'll get some sales back.

|1.28.09 @ 4:44PM|#

Ah, bukakke dwarfs, is there nothing they can't solve?

Stretch|1.28.09 @ 4:48PM|#

Really, all Hef needed to do was start producing quality videos on pop-culture and the arts and the problem would have solved itself.

"Really, honey, I watch it for the articles."

Naga Sadow|1.28.09 @ 4:54PM|#

I believe that Hef would have been on firmer financial ground to start a lottery. The prize? One week stay at the house.

Urkobold™|1.28.09 @ 4:56PM|#

TWO WORDS: HEF-CAM.

ed|1.28.09 @ 5:03PM|#

Who knew sex was a bad business to be in? That's probably what they're thinking over at Playboy's New York City offices, which are to be closed...

Dios mio! Time is hiring retards now? And Playboy has actual stock?!
Damn, the knuckle-draggers were right: it's the End Times.

|1.28.09 @ 5:04PM|#

I haven't picked up a copy in years. The magazine is more than just R rated photos.
Actual journalism and philosophy has appeared in the pages.

ed|1.28.09 @ 5:06PM|#

all Hef needed to do was start producing quality videos on pop-culture and the arts

Like Reason TV?



Sorry.

|1.28.09 @ 5:13PM|#

all Hef needed to do was start producing quality videos on pop-culture and the arts


For some reason I read that as "producing quality pop tarts"

But isn't that what Hef already does?

|1.28.09 @ 5:21PM|#

I know I'm depressed now.

ed|1.28.09 @ 5:21PM|#

But isn't that what Hef already does?

Who the hell knows what the old fart does? Jesus H, he's 109-years old, held together by horse glue, Kevlar pajamas and Viagra. Anyway, isn't his 70-year-old daughter running the place now? And don't even get me started on the Grotto.

|1.28.09 @ 5:25PM|#

held together by horse glue, Kevlar pajamas and Viagra.

Ewww.

Invisible Finger|1.28.09 @ 5:29PM|#

There goes MY stimulus.

|1.28.09 @ 5:35PM|#

Jack Shafer at Slate had an article recently about the newspaper industry's continual pissing and moaning about their loss of subscribers and revenue as readers abandon the actual paper for finding news on television and the internet. He pointed out that there are many, many jobs that are being lost in the digital age, among them porn producers and actors.

It is hard to say whether this loss is from the economic conditions, or because there is so much free porn available on-line. WHile its true that the magazine has had more than pictures, it appears that the pictures were responsible for the bottom line, if you'll pardon the pun.

Urkobold™|1.28.09 @ 5:42PM|#

TO CLARIFY IN MORE THAN TWO WORDS, THE URKOBOLD MEANS A WEB CAM SOLDERED TO THE HEF'S HEAD, SO THAT VIEWERS DON'T SEE HIM SO MUCH AS HIS COMPANIONS.

hyuk hyuk|1.28.09 @ 5:50PM|#

they come asking for a handout

Brian Sorgatz|1.28.09 @ 5:52PM|#

That's all well and good unless, like the U.S. automakers, they come asking for a handout.

They could ask for it facetiously to make a satirical point, but Larry Flynt and Joe Francis have already been there and done that.

Unfortunately, my other favorite magazine besides Reason seems to believe more or less officially in big government. But don't worry, guys. To whatever extent I can, I'll be their libertarian fifth column.

Mad Max|1.28.09 @ 6:55PM|#

Playboy is 'my other favorite magazine besides Reason seems to believe more or less officially in big government.' [link to article denouncing a pro-big-government editorial in Playboy]

Wait, I thought pornographers were crusaders for freedom! Are they only in favor of their own freedom to conduct their own business, while willing to advocate regulations against others?

Ah, what a disappointment. Et tu, Hugh? This is the unkindest cut of all!

Mad Max|1.28.09 @ 6:56PM|#

Or, as Playgirl says in its all-Gentile issue, "this is the uncuttest kind of all!"

ed|1.28.09 @ 7:06PM|#

Playboy is my other favorite magazine besides Reason

You still buy the hard copies? Sucker.

cunnivore|1.28.09 @ 8:25PM|#

He pointed out that there are many, many jobs that are being lost in the digital age, among them porn producers and actors.

Only the shitty ones who put out product comparable in quality to amateur porn. Top end producers are still making money hand over fist...there will always be a market for, ahem, professionals.

Naughty Clarence, giving the p|1.28.09 @ 9:38PM|#

Whenever a Playboy bunny's bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

Paul|1.29.09 @ 1:45AM|#

Are there still guys jerking it to hyper-airbrushed soft core porn photos?

No, we just read that shit for the articles.

|1.29.09 @ 3:57AM|#

Only the shitty ones who put out product comparable in quality to amateur porn. Top end producers are still making money hand over fist...

Heh. Heh heh-heh.

Heh.

Mr. X|1.30.09 @ 3:14PM|#

Playboy stock has sucked for years. The company is majority owned by Hugh Hefner and the he milks it for tons of perks. Amazingly, this does not translate into value for the minority shareholders.