Spaceballs!

Katherine Mangu-Ward | December 1, 2008

Guys like him gave guys like them wedgies in middle school. But former Washington Redskin Ken Harvey had full attention from an audience of NASA engineers, technicians, and scientists for a reason other than abject fear last month: space football.

"There’s a bonus," [said Harvey], "where you have to pick up a person holding a certain ball and throw them through a hoop as a sort of extra point.”

Wonder who he's thinking of for that move?

Of course, Harvey's idea has a little competition from some characters that I wrote about a couple of years ago: Space Champions: Zero Gravity.

Maybe when they get around to building that stadium on Mars there can be some inter-league mixing.

Play a lame computer simulation here. Upside, no gravity-confusion induced vomiting!

Comments

guy in the back row|12.1.08 @ 4:13PM|#

While cool, still not as cool as Mutant League Football for the old Sega. The bomb was really a bomb!

DADIODADDY|12.1.08 @ 4:22PM|#

Are you a victom of the offical recesession (sp?) if not please get a JOB...

DADIODADDY|12.1.08 @ 4:23PM|#

or a victim as the case may be...

|12.1.08 @ 4:23PM|#

Er, Mangu-Ward, are you somehow under the impression that there is no gravity on Mars?

Mars' gravity is 38% of earth gravity, so it would be rather difficult for anyone to throw a same-sized person through a goalpost. Additionally after months of travel (from earth to mars) in Zero-G, or months of living at 38% gravity (on Mars), earth-conditioned muscles would atrophy a bit.

Just because you have the same lack of gravitas as Anne "no air on Mars" (*) Applebaum on matters extraterrestrial doesn't mean you'll get a Pulitzer.

(*) Technically she was right, but in context it was clear she had no clue about the important distinctions between air and atmosphere.

|12.1.08 @ 4:28PM|#

This is one instance where NASA, more specifically, Alan Shepard, got it right. Moon golf. Same game but with pressure suits (much more flexible ones than used by the Apollo astronauts, of course) and with, well, less grass and more trap.

I envision two types of lunar golf. The first will be for duffers who want to hit 500 yards and be on the green. The second will be for real low-gravity golf enthusiasts, who will play on courses miles long.

I don't object to lunar football or zero grav orbital sports, either, but I could see some serious space tourism in lunar golf.

Say, SpaceSportilization does run off the tongue rather trippingly, doesn't it?

|12.1.08 @ 4:40PM|#

Personally, I think that something on the order of the Training Room in Ender's Game would be preferable to football in Zero-G.

|12.1.08 @ 4:53PM|#

Zero-G is only good if we equip players with rockets. Low gravity is the superior option, particularly the lunar variety. I'd like to see a 300-yard pass, myself.

sage|12.1.08 @ 4:58PM|#

less grass and more trap.

Some guys like their girls like that.

Ska|12.1.08 @ 5:01PM|#

Not the ones who putt from the rough. But they don't like trap at all.

|12.1.08 @ 5:07PM|#

So what does that make a water hazard?

|12.1.08 @ 5:07PM|#

In related news, Scientific American, which has gone completely off the reservation on global warming, has condemned video games for being bad, bad, bad for the environment and for Mother Gaia's complexion.

So I guess we'll just have to move all video gaming to space. That should help the private space sector develop faster.

By the way, I met an astronaut last week!

|12.1.08 @ 5:14PM|#

jeebus, wtf SciAm!

|12.1.08 @ 5:18PM|#

SciAm has gone totally, batshit insane.

|12.1.08 @ 5:21PM|#

Remember that time John thought a real article was an Onion article? That was awesome.

|12.1.08 @ 5:25PM|#

I wouldn't give John too much of a hard time about that. I could easily fall into the same trap. In fact, I'm stunned by reality daily.

Orange Line Special|12.1.08 @ 5:27PM|#

I'm sorry, what's going on here? Could someone explain this in English for Normals?

|12.1.08 @ 5:28PM|#

No.

Warty|12.1.08 @ 5:40PM|#

Lonewacko thinks he's normal. How adorable.

D-FENS|12.1.08 @ 6:54PM|#

Tonio, if you read the article, it's the NY Times that glosses over the fact that there is, in fact, significant gravity on Mars.

|12.1.08 @ 7:02PM|#

"has condemned video games for being bad, bad, bad for the environment and for Mother Gaia's complexion."

Oh come on. They're not saying that playing video games is bad, they're pointing out that people leave them on all the time when they're not playing, which just wastes electricity.

It's still weak, but they aren't saying what you are implying.

Ender|12.1.08 @ 7:16PM|#

The enemy endzone is down!

|12.1.08 @ 9:08PM|#

Actually Tonio, Applebaum did say, "the lack of atmosphere" re: Mars. So don't feel bad for ragging on her.

|12.1.08 @ 9:39PM|#

Wonder who he's thinking of for that move?

Considering he's a former football player, and knowing that mentality...

...anybody on the other team who is holding the special ball :)

|12.2.08 @ 9:38AM|#

Jon H,

What's the point of the article, then? Don't leave appliances on? Ha! They called out video games and published the article right around Christmas season, too.

SciAm is openly political, anyway, so this is just another self-imposed blow to their credibility.