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PETA Asks Ben & Jerry's to Use Human Milk to Make Ice Cream
The folks at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have written a letter to Ben & Jerry's suggesting that the socially conscious purveyors of fats and sugars in the form tasty ice cream switch from bovine milk to human milk. As PETA explains:
The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream?
Why?
Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer. The late Dr. Benjamin Spock, America's leading authority on child care, spoke out against feeding cow's milk to children, saying it may play a role in anemia, allergies, and juvenile diabetes and in the long term, will set kids up for obesity and heart disease-America's number one cause of death.
Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated every nine months. After several years of living in filthy conditions and being forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally, their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for soup.
PETA is cribbing the idea from a Swiss restaurant:
Storchen restaurant is set to unveil a menu that includes soups, stews, and sauces made with at least 75 percent breast milk procured from human donors who are paid in exchange for their milk.
Apparently there is already a market for human milk. Find reporting on the proposal and the PETA letter here.
|9.24.08 @ 10:54AM|#
The only way I'll reopen the studio is if you go up to the Bronx, and get me some breast milk from a Cambodian immigrant.
Mad Max|9.24.08 @ 10:55AM|#
Ben & Jerry's should make a meat ice cream from the flesh of the animals killed by PETA.
|9.24.08 @ 11:01AM|#
I could dig this. I have always wanted to try breast milk (again--haven't had it since infancy, of course).
|9.24.08 @ 11:02AM|#
That letter and new story was from 'The Onion' right?
Right?
Animals will also benefit from the switch to breast milk. Like
all mammals, cows only produce milk during and after pregnancy, so
to be able to constantly milk them, cows are forcefully impregnated
every nine months."
What about the humans that would be supplying the breast milk?
They'd have to have a constantly supply of pregnant women to
produce all that breast milk.
After several years of living in filthy conditions and being
forced to produce 10 times more milk than they would naturally,
their exhausted bodies are turned into hamburgers or ground up for
soup.
Again, what about the humans?
|9.24.08 @ 11:03AM|#
Yea, Epi, outside of a business doing it like this it is somewhat of an awkward proposition to bring up.
|9.24.08 @ 11:06AM|#
Plus, Robbie, you need to knock a girl up to get some, which is a whole other world of NO FUCKING WAY.
|9.24.08 @ 11:07AM|#
"I could dig this. I have always wanted to try breast
milk"
heh. Why am I not surprised? ;)
Ska|9.24.08 @ 11:07AM|#
If you can find women who are willing to sell that breast milk, and ice cream consumers willing to buy a pint of Titty Twister, by all means go for it. Not that I'd want to spend 30 bucks on a pint of human milk ice cream (or wahtever something like this would cost). This is probably one of the less offensive PETA initiatives that I've heard of. Just impractical. And I'd still want my cow milk option of course.
|9.24.08 @ 11:10AM|#
Yeah, the amount of excess breast milk a pregnant woman would
have to make ice cream with would only be enough to satisfy another
producing woman's cravings during pregnancy.
It just wouldn't work.
|9.24.08 @ 11:13AM|#
Would this involve pumping women full of hormones and hooking
them up to breast pumping machines? With the women lined up in
rows?
One thing about the milk of other mammals--hasn't humanity been
drinking it (and eating the byproducts thereof) for an extremely
long time? Just how bad can it be?
Urkobold™|9.24.08 @ 11:14AM|#
"The breast is best!"
THE URKOBOLD COMPLETELY AGREES WITH PETA. THE BREAST IS
BEST.
JMR|9.24.08 @ 11:14AM|#
The fact that so much from PETA really DOES seem to be from the Onion suggests the need for a new, non-nutcase, anti-cruelty group. I want to eat cows and chickens, but I want the farmers to treat them humanely before killing them for me to eat. I want this so much that I'd be willing to pay a penny or 2 more a pound for meats with a "Non-Nutcase non-PETA Approved" seal, even though I totally disdain PETA because of idiotic stunts like this. Do others feel this way? Doesn't it seem like a fringe group has taken up all the oxygen in the room, and there's no media space for non-nutcases who just want to eat relatively-happy cows & chickens?
|9.24.08 @ 11:15AM|#
heh. Why am I not surprised? ;)
It combines my love of women and cuisine. How could I resist it?
Put some cocaine in it and I'd probably ascend to a higher plane of
existence.
|9.24.08 @ 11:18AM|#
"Doesn't it seem like a fringe group has taken up all the oxygen
in the room, "
seriously, how much fuggin oxygen does it take to think like
PETA?
|9.24.08 @ 11:26AM|#
epi,
On paper, it sounds like a great idea. I am a big fan of milk and
an even bigger fan of breasts. But it turns out, human breast milk
is just disgusting.
Anonymous|9.24.08 @ 11:33AM|#
I made some Kraft Mac 'N' Cheese with my wife's breast milk once. It was good, but not as creamy.
ed|9.24.08 @ 11:34AM|#
Well, if you want really fresh, Starbuck's should hire
lactating baristas.
Better yet, if they merged with Hooters...oh yeah,
Hooterbuck's! Gimme a latte.
Make it a double!
|9.24.08 @ 11:35AM|#
There is really no logical reason to prefer the milk of other
mammals to that of your own species. It is a learned
response.
It is also a learned response to think killing animals for food is
inhumane (or unnatural). I'm with JMR, we need a group that is for
better treatment of our food without all this dumb crap PETA is up
to.
|9.24.08 @ 11:36AM|#
But it turns out, human breast milk is just
disgusting.
It's more the experience of doing it rather than
tasting it that appeals to me.
|9.24.08 @ 11:38AM|#
Well, if you want really fresh, Starbuck's should hire
lactating baristas.
Better yet, if they merged with Hooters...oh yeah, Hooterbuck's!
Gimme a latte.
Make it a double!
There already are businesses like that. Google "bikini
baristas".
cadaver dog|9.24.08 @ 11:44AM|#
We know Kerry Howley sold her ova in years past.
This brings to mind a question that should not be asked.
|9.24.08 @ 11:50AM|#
A good example of how freedom doesn't necessarily mean you
condone anything.
Ben & Jerry's should be free to do this if they want, and PeTA
should be free to ask them. And I'm still free to say how
viscerally horrified I am by this concept and how PeTA is a bunch
of violent, insane hypocrites.
Yay Freedom!
Tym|9.24.08 @ 11:50AM|#
and there's no media space for non-nutcases who just want to
eat relatively-happy cows & chickens?
I agree. Is ASPCA more reasonable?
tijjer|9.24.08 @ 11:51AM|#
Peta is great. They're probably the world's slickest, best funded trolls. They even troll real life, which is kind of hard to do, what with having to pay for billboards and bloody naked chicks and such.
JMR|9.24.08 @ 11:53AM|#
Ok, given PETA maybe "oxygen in the room" was the wrong analogy,
but I think meat eaters who want humanely raised and killed
meat/eggs/milk are a majority that's not AT ALL represented. PETA,
despite being hysterical lefties prone to stupidity, does have a
point about some factory farms and the cruelty they hide. With a
bit more open-ness, we could have a food killing industry that does
a decent job, and I'd feel a lot better about being an omnivore if
I could choose meat with such a label.
I can't make that choice, but I think if the group eventually
sprang up I'd be the IDEAL CEO. For one thing, I have as much
disdain for PETA-stupidity as I do for cruelty. For another, I'm
lazy, and advocating a sane policy as opposed to these hysterical
nutcases seems like it would be an easy job. I wonder how much
Ingrid Newkirk makes a year?? I'd take that salary, I'll bet!
:)
|9.24.08 @ 11:56AM|#
I'm no fan of PETA (confirmed meat lover), but this argument is
not crazy if you start from an acceptance of some level of "animal
rights." Milk-giving cows are basically slave labor, whereas humans
would willingly sell their milk and be compensated. As Patrick
pointed out, the "ew" response to human milk is entirely a learned
response, along the lines of what Radley is always railing
against.
Of course, for that to make sense you have to believe in "animal
rights." It's kind of like the abortion issue. Either you think
it's a person or you don't.
Abdul|9.24.08 @ 12:15PM|#
Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your
customer's health. Dairy products have been linked to juvenile
diabetes, . . . obesity,
How will ice cream amde from human milk avoid the dangers of
diabetes and obesity? It'll be just as fattening, if not more
so.
Maybe they're relying on the disgust factor of people getting
breast milk from guys named Ben and Jerry?
|9.24.08 @ 12:16PM|#
Would this involve pumping women full of hormones and
hooking them up to breast pumping machines? With the women lined up
in rows?
I think I saw that in an anime.
|9.24.08 @ 12:22PM|#
What does that guy who made the milk enema porn movies have to say about this? Feasibly a new plot twist?
|9.24.08 @ 12:23PM|#
human donors who are paid in exchange for their
milk.
But... if they PAY the women, they're EXPLOITING them!
|9.24.08 @ 12:25PM|#
R C Dean,
Damn the Japanese and their clever ways! Are they ahead of us in
this, too? I bet their human "cows" are American women, as well,
with big bosoms and freakishly big round eyes.
Naga Sadow|9.24.08 @ 12:26PM|#
Ed,
I gotta say it. Veal just isn't very good to me. I prefer a lean
piece of filet mignon only medium rare. I gotta have the blood in
it or I won't eat it.
|9.24.08 @ 12:28PM|#
I prefer a lean piece of filet mignon only medium
rare
MEDIUM rare? The proper cooked level for beef is "uh, I put it on
the grill for 20 seconds".
Naga Sadow|9.24.08 @ 12:31PM|#
Epi,
I'm not an arisocrat such as yourself. Perhaps someday I will be
ennobled but that day has yet to arrive.
|9.24.08 @ 12:37PM|#
"I have always wanted to try breast milk (again--haven't had it
since infancy, of course)."
Why not? What are you, some kind of prude?
|9.24.08 @ 12:38PM|#
Medium rare isn't the problem, so long as the rare part remains.
Medium and well done are abominations and shouldn't be tolerated in
civilized society.
Tuna, incidentally, should either be eaten raw or just somewhat
seared.
Franklin Harris|9.24.08 @ 12:40PM|#
Damn the Japanese and their clever ways! Are they ahead of us in this, too? I bet their human "cows" are American women, as well, with big bosoms and freakishly big round eyes.
Well, they also has blue-green hair, so they may have been alien
women.
|9.24.08 @ 12:42PM|#
Why not? What are you, some kind of prude?
I'm trying to overcome my prudery.
Tuna, incidentally, should either be eaten raw
And salmon. I cannot abide cooked salmon.
Naga Sadow|9.24.08 @ 12:44PM|#
You are wise as usual, Pro Lib. I prefer big 8oz tuna steaks that are just given a light turn on the grill then spiced up. I tried something new about a month ago. Try seared tuna with Chinese mustard and butter sauce. AWESOME!!!
Guy Montag|9.24.08 @ 12:47PM|#
Dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies, constipation, obesity, and prostate and ovarian cancer.
Sounds a lot like DHMO hazards. Don't these people know that all
milk is full of DHMO?
|9.24.08 @ 12:49PM|#
Episiarch is wise in the way of the Fish. While I will occasionally eat cooked salmon as a concession to the taste--or lack thereof--of my family unit, I do so under protest. However, before I totally condemn cooked salmon, I must confess that I like smoked salmon. But I'm a sinner.
Naga Sadow|9.24.08 @ 12:51PM|#
Pro Lib,
Refer to my post above. Episiarch is an aristocrat. He has these
crazy notions of what is considered right and noble. Smoked salmon
is awesome. Especially when used for a Philadelphia roll.
|9.24.08 @ 12:51PM|#
You may have done to much blow to ever be considered a
prude.
May?!?
I must confess that I like smoked salmon
ProL, I make my own gravlax. Super easy and
fucking delicious.
|9.24.08 @ 12:57PM|#
It is no longer fermented but cured by the salt and sugar. I tried a cilantro/tequila variant but it didn't really take, so I said screw it.
Guy Montag|9.24.08 @ 12:59PM|#
I must be some sort of savage for having a steak filet at
Morton's last night "medium plus". The shrimp Alexander were cooked
too, is that another sin level?
BTW, my date from Sheffield had her steak medium, which is a bit on
the rare side at Morton's.
|9.24.08 @ 1:02PM|#
How will ice cream amde from human milk avoid the dangers of
diabetes and obesity?
It won't for the one drinking it, but it will reduce the fat
content of the person producing it. It's kind of a zero-sum thing
in this case.
Anyways, I've tried breast milk. It's fine.You could make some
decent ice cream out of it I bet.
|9.24.08 @ 1:07PM|#
Episiarch,
Sounds good. Speaking (as I was) of smoked salmon, I just found and
posted a clip from Good Eats, where Alton Brown made a
smoker out of a cardboard box.
Guy,
Wherefore in the name of God the All-powerful, Father, Son, and
Holy Ghost, of Blessed Peter, Prince of the Apostles, and of all
the saints, in virtue of the power which has been given us of
binding and loosing in Heaven and on earth, we deprive Guy Montag
himself and all his accomplices and all his abettors of the
Communion of the Body and Blood of Our Lord and all beef products,
we separate him from the society of all Christians, we exclude him
from the bosom of our Holy Mother the Church in Heaven and on
earth, we declare him excommunicated and anathematized and we judge
him condemned to eternal fire with Satan and his angels and all the
reprobate, so long as he will not burst the fetters of the demon,
do penance and satisfy the Church; we deliver him to Satan to
mortify his body, that his soul may be saved on the day of
judgment.
|9.24.08 @ 1:20PM|#
Human milk tastes wonderful, but it doesn't exactly taste like
"milk", and I don't know if it would work well for ice cream.
Another problem is scale; cows are just fantastic milk producers. I
read something in the context of genetic engineering -- getting
mammals to produce medicinal protiens in their milk. It was saying
how it was easier to do the with goats, but cows are the holy grail
because they produce X times more milk -- where X was like, 8, 10,
20 times. This must be in wikipedia somewhere.
Anyway, with humans not bred for milk production, their
productivity is going to be pathetic. On the other hand, when I was
taking childbirth classes, they pointed out that there was a law
in, like, Victorian England or something, that wet nurses could
have to more than 8 children under their "care" -- and pointed out
that if there was a law to limit this, presumably women were
serving MORE than 8 children at a time.
I know the PETAns of the world would consider it blatant
propaganda, but there was the awesome segment on a History Channel
show (part of the 90% non-history shows on the channels) that
showed a completely modern dairy.
The cows roamed around a big barn, because pens cause stress.
Robotic squeegees ran across the floor to keep the poo in control.
The cows are trained to go to the milking stations on their own --
they can feel when it's time. The milking is entirely robotic;
these things reach out and scrub the udders, attach the milking
cups, and clean up afterward. Each suction cup is independent, so
one teat may get milked more than another; it detects when the teat
has been emptied.
The milk is held separate so that it can be tested for any
infection, and to measure content, etc.
The milking station was separated by gates, but still visible to
the rest of the barn, because cows are herd animals and being
separated causes stress.
In this case, the more "factory" the farm, the better the animals
were treated. All of this for purely selfish, capitalist reasons:
healthy, content, unstressed cows are more productive.
A lesson for many office environments, I think. Oh. Gotta go to the
data milking station now, sorry...
Finally: I wonder what whale milk tastes like? That's gotta be hell
to collect.
Tonio|9.24.08 @ 1:22PM|#
The fact that so much from PETA really DOES seem to be from
the Onion suggests the need for a new, non-nutcase, anti-cruelty
group.
JMR, many of us in the anti-cruelty movement have long been
frustrated by PETA and the other animal rights groups.
Even if they are not covertly funded by their opponents (as is
widely suspected), they accomplish their opponents' objectives by
discrediting pretty much everyone in the animal welfare and
anti-cruelty communities.
|9.24.08 @ 1:34PM|#
I wonder what whale milk tastes like? That's gotta be hell
to collect.
I believe it is like 50% fat or something, so probably like
cream.
The South Park episode with PETA was a classic.
So was the Bullshit! PETA episode.
rhywun|9.24.08 @ 1:40PM|#
What about the humans that would be supplying the breast milk?
Read "In the Barn" by Piers Anthony for the answer to that one.
Guy Montag|9.24.08 @ 1:57PM|#
I am anti-cruelty and I hate PETA too. So there.
But PL has banished me to some awful place where I can't have
cooked prawns.
Guy Montag|9.24.08 @ 1:58PM|#
WAIT! What about the tie-in to the milk porn guy from a few
months ago?
Am I the first to notice it this time?
rap|9.24.08 @ 1:58PM|#
I was once privileged to have a lactating girl friend. I liked the flavour, and the extraction method that I used, but she wasn't much for volume. Certainly not enough to make ice cream.
|9.24.08 @ 2:18PM|#
No. I beat you to it here.
Nobody pays any attention to me. That's ok. I'll just stay here in
this corner and keep muttering to myself.
Kolohe|9.24.08 @ 2:24PM|#
Infantilism enthusiasts must be wetting themselves over this
news.
Luckily, they wear diapers.
Kolohe|9.24.08 @ 2:27PM|#
So will fat chicks produce Whole Milk and skinny broads
produce Skim Milk?
Which also raises similar questions about Chocolate and
Mocha.
And would redheads have strawberry flavored? or ginger
flavored?
|9.24.08 @ 2:32PM|#
Shit Guy, I used to have some respect for you, but medium plus? You must have the jaws of a neandertal.
Kolohe|9.24.08 @ 2:32PM|#
Tuna, incidentally, should either be eaten raw
And salmon. I cannot abide cooked salmon.
Maguro -> Oishii desu nee!
Shake -> Oishii ja arimasen.
|9.24.08 @ 2:32PM|#
Hey, I've got the perfect name for an entrepreneurial corner shop: The Korova Milk Bar.
|9.24.08 @ 2:35PM|#
First, I think Reinmoose said something about pregnant women's
milk... Well, pregnant women don't produce milk. They produce
colustrum (well, some of us do) and that is definitely not
something you want to use to cream your coffee. Besides, we make
too little of it.
Now, once the milk comes in after the baby is born, there could be
plenty to make a pint of ice cream. I was blessed with milk
production worthy of Borden - I'm still shocked they never called
me.
That said, I did try a cup of coffee with my own milk once and it
was not very good. It doesn't taste bad, but it's just not the same
as mooju in half-n-half form.
Also, you have to let it settle to get the cream off the top and,
unlike with mooju, booju cream isn't all that yummy.
Hubby didn't mind it, but he certainly wasn't hankering to use one
of my spare bags of EBM in his Frosted Flakes.
|9.24.08 @ 2:37PM|#
PETA continues in its quest to make it harder and harder to be for animal welfare and be taken seriously. Thanks, assclowns!
|9.24.08 @ 2:38PM|#
Guy,
That awful place would be Hell. In Hell, prawns are served but only
demonically over or undercooked.
|9.24.08 @ 2:45PM|#
This would be very dangerous. We are immune to most bovine diseases, but many viruses and bacteria that use specifically human hosts can be carried via breast milk.
|9.24.08 @ 2:47PM|#
MILF Chocolate, anyone?
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v726/seeingi/?action=view¤t=MilfChocolate.jpg
|9.24.08 @ 3:02PM|#
Wow. Somebody, you need to do a little more reading. Even though
*some* viral and bacterial pathogens can be passed through breast
milk, more would be transmitted from the skin (so hygiene is
important). And besides, women who donate milk to milk banks are
screened for those pathogens which can infect milk.
And milk banks pasteurize the milk, too, which destroys all the
immune factors the milk carries. Which sucks. But it's better than
formula, anyway.
|9.24.08 @ 3:49PM|#
And would redheads have strawberry flavored? or ginger
flavored?
The redheads I know would probably have some kind of jalapeno
flavor.
Andy|9.24.08 @ 4:43PM|#
Another exotic food to add to my list. It may be impractical,
but i'm curious about people's personal tastes here. As a proud
[insert word for someone who doesn't ever get offended/disgusted at
anything], i'd be willing to eat this stuff just to say i
did.
btw, "udder nonsense" is the best line ever. I just love how it's
cheesy pun funny and actual funny at the same time.
anarch|9.24.08 @ 4:49PM|#
Bronwyn, why would human colostrum be worse in or for coffee than bovine colostrum?
|9.24.08 @ 5:49PM|#
I'm also reminded (strawberry, jalapeno) of an article some
years ago in Science News. It was about how babies nursed longer
when moms had eaten garlic, and less long when they (the moms!) had
drunk alcohol. Adult subjects smelled the milk and were able to
detect both ingredients -- implying that the babies could taste
it.
Besides an endorsement of the brilliance of Italian and Spanish
cuisines, this also shows that what the milk-producers eat matters
very much.
For cows, this is tightly controlled I would guess, and in any case
limited to what I posit is a limited bovine pallete. For peoples...
who knows what they're going to eat?! Gorgonzola milk? Durian milk?
Stinky tofu milk?
|9.24.08 @ 6:22PM|#
I guess nobody has thought this idea well. Breast milk is the best source of nutrition for human infants. When babies are born prumaturely, breast milk can be life saving..Therefore most neonatology units have breast milk banks! And you think it should be used for ice cream instead of saving these babies? Please!!!
Just Plain Brian|9.24.08 @ 7:24PM|#
The fact that so much from PETA really DOES seem to be from the Onion suggests the need for a new, non-nutcase, anti-cruelty group
Good idea, we need some sort of Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals. But what will we call it?
Hey, I've got the perfect name for an entrepreneurial corner shop: The Korova Milk Bar.
Korova means cow. For this endeavor, "The Chelovek Milk Bar", might
be more appropriate.
But you could still sell Milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or
drencrom, if that's your plan...
|9.24.08 @ 7:29PM|#
I was wondering why the hell yesterday's poll on CNN.com was "Would you eat ice cream made of human breast milk?"
MJ|9.24.08 @ 11:07PM|#
"There is really no logical reason to prefer the milk of other
mammals to that of your own species. It is a learned
response."-Patrick
Higher milk production from cattle over women and the ability to
implement a breeding program (which has both practical and moral
objections if tried on humans) to improve production are not
logical reasons? I'm not sure what word you were wanting to use
there but it was not "logical".
|9.25.08 @ 8:48AM|#
anarch, I didn't say one or the other would be better in my
coffee.
I said half-and-half (cream and milk) are better in coffee than
colostrum.
Besides, bovine colostrum appears to come in tablet or capsule
form... that's not quite the creamer packet, now is it?
Of course, if you wanna go take your mug out to the barn and put a
few squirts in, have at it!
All I'm saying is that, for the yum factor, I preferred
half-and-half over my own booju. And colostrum, well, for one, I
needed all I had for my infant and for two, there's not enough of
it to satisfactorily creamify my cuppa joe.
|9.29.08 @ 9:15PM|#
Seriously people. We have people who can't read, don't have decent health care and are starving, and you are spending time worrying about how an industrial nation produces food for omnivores who rely on an industrial food supply chain. Teach a kid to read, and while you're at it, take him a hamburger and a carton of milk.
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