Let the Games of the Milli-Vanilli Olympiad Begin!

From the AP:

A 7-year-old Chinese girl was not good-looking enough for the Olympics opening ceremony, so another little girl with a pixie smile lip-synched "Ode to the Motherland," a ceremony official said—the latest example of the lengths Beijing took for a perfect start to the Summer Games....

The news follows reports that some footage of the fireworks exploding across China's capital during the ceremony was digitally inserted into television coverage, apparently over concerns that not all of the 29 blasts could be captured on camera....

Lin Miaoke's performance Friday night, like the ceremony itself, was an immediate hit. "Nine-year-old Lin Miaoke becomes instant star with patriotic song," the China Daily newspaper headline said Tuesday.

But the real voice behind the tiny, pigtailed girl in the red dress who wowed 91,000 spectators at the National Stadium on opening night really belonged to 7-year-old Yang Peiyi. Her looks apparently failed the cuteness test with officials organizing the ceremony, but Chen said her voice was judged the most beautiful.

More here.

The girl pictured here is the one who passed "the cuteness test." And, apparently, made the appropriate gang signals as well.

Is it just me, or did America—or maybe only Bob Costas, who looks digitally altered himself these days—just lose its innocence? Please don't tell me that the gun guy running around the perimeter of the top of the Olympic stadium during the opening cermonies was suspended by wires!

Speaking of good looks and the Olympics, here's a chilling Cold War-era tale of "vitamins" and sex-change operations featuring East German shotputter Andreas nee Heidi Krieger.

Milli Vanilli remembered here. Other classic lip-synchs include Whitney Houston and the National Anthem, Ashlee Simpson on SNL, and...add your own here.

Marni Nixon, queen of the Hollywood lip-synchers, remembered here.

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  • Episiarch||

    The girl pictured here is the one who passed "the cuteness test." And, apparently, made the appropriate gang signals as well.

    Blame it on the rain?

  • David Prowse||

    I feel her pain.

  • Nigel Watt||

    Nothing beats the "It's not pollution, it's humidity!" excuse. Please. I'm in Houston in August and I can see downtown from 610.

  • ||

    What about the 10 year old chinese gymnasts who had passports that said they were 16?

  • Naga Sadow||

    China actually had a "cuter" child lip synching the national anthem? WTF!!?? What? Does the actual girl singing the anthem have a hunchback or something?

  • Josh||

    As authentic national anthem singer Carl Lewis would say, "Uh oh."

  • Invisible Finger||

    This is overblown. They only put this "cute" kid in because the original singer couldn't get her shift changed at the factory.

  • ||

    I spent a month in Lanzhou a few years ago...and it took another month afterwards for my snot to stop coming out black. It's definitely the pollution.

  • ||

    i feel a kinship with yang peiyi. we're both too ugly for television.

  • ed||

    Leni Riefenstahl would have been very proud. That ceremony was chilling in its totalitarian perfection. One wonders how many lives were crushed to produce it.

  • B||

    Are they saying that in a nation of 1.3 billion they can't find one cute little girl with an excellent singing voice?

  • ||

    Please don't tell me that the gun running around the perimeter of the top of the Olympic stadium

    Gun running? During the Olympics? Is this a new shooting sport?

  • thoreau||

    I'm just trying to understand how a 7 year-old girl couldn't be considered cute. Just about every little kid that age is cute when singing. And if the looks still aren't quite ready for TV, that's what costume and makeup professionals are for.

    Of course, no little kid could be as cute as my little nephews, but that just goes without saying.

  • Episiarch||

    Are they saying that in a nation of 1.3 billion they can't find one cute little girl with an excellent singing voice?

    Well, they did lose Wing to New Zealand.

  • ||

    Here's George Will's observation on the opening ceremony. "(T)he games are being hosted by a tyrannical regime, the mind of which was displayed in the opening ceremony featuring thousands of drummers, each face contorted with the same gortesquely frozen grin. It was a tableau of the miniaturization of the individual and the subordination of individuality to the collective. Not since the Nazis' 1934 Nurembureg rally, which Leni Riefenstahl turned into the film 'Triumph of the Will,' has tyranny been so braenly tarted up as art. A worldwine audience of billions swooned over the Beijing ceremony. Who remembers 1934? Or anything?"
    I only saw parts of the ceremony and thought they were way over the top, that China was trying too hard to impress, and, yes, the drummers reminded me of scenes in old jungle movies where the cannibals were getting stoked to go capture and eat the white explorers and the chick half falling out of her shirt.

  • apasiac sock-puppet||

    that just goes without saying

    Sho do!

  • ||

    aphasiac, even!

  • Orange Line Special||

    This is also done with large numbers of TVCommercials, either with the same person or someone else doing the audio separate from the video. I find it quite annoying.

    Say, has anyone else noticed that Reason's descent is nearly complete? Most of the posts here currently are more appropriate for (supposedly) lighterweight sites.

    Meanwhile, WND is doing the same thing I want to do, except they're offering more: they'll give you $1000 if you ask a question. Why couldn't Reason have done something similar? (Don't answer that.)

  • Nigel Watt||

    The Chinese competitors also don't look like they enjoy themselves. That's kinda freaky; they're missing the point.

  • ed||

    George Will is stealing my ideas.

  • ||

    China actually had a "cuter" child lip synching the national anthem? WTF!!?? What? Does the actual girl singing the anthem have a hunchback or something?

    I also want to see the child whose voice it was. I'll bet she's cute as well. Especially when singing.

  • Naga Sadow||

    Lonewacko!!!!!!!!!!

    *shakes fist in air*

  • Invisible Finger||

    It was a tableau of the miniaturization of the individual and the subordination of individuality to the collective.

    George Will obviously hasn't been dragged to American High School marching band or cheerleading competitions in the last 15 years, where the only individual that matters is the egomaniacal coach.

  • ||

    they'll give you $1000 if you ask a question.

    My questiona are -

    "Should we remove LoneWackos vowels from his keyboard as well as his space bar?"

    "Why are MexicanWomen so HOT? Can we import some?"

  • Charles Oliver||

    How do you say Martha Walsh in Chinese?

  • ||

    I will give you $1.98 if you ask a presidential candidate any of those.

  • ||

    Hellooooo, it's a show for chrissake. Yes, they haev an ulterior motive, they probably have many of them. So what. Everything you watch on US National TVv is manipulated, orchestrated, enhanced, re-touched, maimed and wounded to suit the shows sponsors. Why in the world do you hold the Chinese to a greater standard?

  • Gregory||

    Did anyone else catch the gymnastics commentators waxing nostalgic about 1970s Romania? To be fair, it was in the context of female gymnastics, but their complaint was that their gymnasts aren't as intense as they used to be. No mention as to what forces perhaps led to a more intense team back in the '70s.

  • Russ 2000||

  • Cool Cal||

    Every time Laura Brannigan sang "Self-Control" live, it was synched from the album cut. But God, I still love her!

  • robc||

    Gregory,

    No mention as to what forces perhaps led to a more intense team back in the '70s.

    You have it backwards, I can tell you exactly what led to a less intense team now: Their coach in the 70s is the US team coach now (well, Its Marta not Bela, but same thing).

  • ||

    The girl pictured here is the one who passed "the cuteness test."

    I don't think I've ever seen a 7 year old Asian girl who couldn't pass any cuteness test you'd care to apply.

  • ||

    George Will obviously hasn't been dragged to American High School marching band or cheerleading competitions a sporting event in the last 15 years ...ever, where the only individual that matters is the egomaniacal coach.

    fixed

  • QSL||

    Everything you watch on US National TVv is manipulated, orchestrated, enhanced, re-touched, maimed and wounded to suit the shows sponsors. Why in the world do you hold the Chinese to a greater standard?

    Hmm, I don't think there's a shortage of mocking and poking fun at our own American reality television shenanigans and celebrity worship. Check out "The Soup" on E! for a good weekly fix of just that.

  • ||

    The real singer is totally cute!

    Cool Cat: "Self Control" is my favorite Laura Brannigan song. But if I'm at the drugstore and I hear one of her songs, it's always "Gloria," dammit.

    I am not ashamed to admit having a favorite Laura Brannigan song. I guess that's obvious.

  • ||

    Are they saying that in a nation of 1.3 billion they can't find one cute little girl with an excellent singing voice?

    Well, a libertarian could always blame government policy:

    A. One Child Policy.

    Oh, and don't forget cultural biases that create unintended consequences to short-sighted government policy:

    B. Preference for male heirs.

    A + B = Unusually high percentage of males in younger cohorts.

  • ||

    Russ 2000,

    Thanks. She's adorable. A 7 typical year old cutie. Maybe that's the problem. The Chinese were probably going for the Jon Benet effect.

  • ||

    Relevant reason article on little girls and the One Child Policy in China.

  • kinnath||

    Let us not forget the amazing CGI fireworks display to open the whole shebang!

  • robc||

    Speaking of the olympics, did anyone else catch the great fark headline:

    Zimbabwean swimmer wins two Olympic silver medals, on which the country will now base its currency

  • Cool Cal||

    Vanessa,

    "Meaning of the Word" ... impossible to find (from the album "Touch"), but well worth the search.

  • ||

    OK, I just looked at the article Nick linked to:

    "'The audience will understand that it's in the national interest,' Chen said in a video of the interview posted online Sunday night."

    Which prompted me to laugh, though I'm aware that it's a very serious concern...

  • ||

    Thanks, Cal.

    I'll do my best.

  • ||

    I'm just trying to understand how a 7 year-old girl couldn't be considered cute. Just about every little kid that age is cute when singing. And if the looks still aren't quite ready for TV, that's what costume and makeup professionals are for.


    I blame pedophilia and misogyny.

  • ||

    Anyway, the little girl they ended up picking is hellsa creepy. I kind of suspected she might be lip-synching when I saw her.

  • MJ||

    "The audience will understand that it's in the national interest," Chen said in a video of the interview posted online Sunday night.

    The fact that China has someone high in their government so out of touch with reality that he thinks something this trivial rises to the level of "national interest" is worrisome. Chen is insane.

  • smartass sob||

    Just think how that seven year old little girl must feel (or will feel) - no matter how well she sings, she isn't "pretty enough." (Those bastards.) This is typical of alot of things that come out of China - all they care about are appearances. They make everything look like a "million bucks", but underneath it's all junk.

  • ed||

    It has been revealed that "nine-year-old" Lin Miaoke is actually seventeen-year-old Lu Wan. She has been kept in a jar for the past eight years, maturing her vocal cords while stunting her growth. "It was in the national interest to create this symbol of Chinese cuteness," a Party spokesman said, who then committed suicide. NBC has declined comment.

  • ||

    Does someone have a link to a picture of the real singer??? I mean, did she not meet a very high cuteness standard or was she bone ugly???

  • ed||

    They used to have a picture but it has mysteriously disappeared.

  • Eugene C||

    Get ready for Yang Peiyi's new hit "My Homeland Thinks I'm Ugly " from her new CD "A Face Not Worth Saving".

  • smartass sob||

    Does someone have a link to a picture of the real singer??? I mean, did she not meet a very high cuteness standard or was she bone ugly???


    It's back up thread at:

    Russ 2000 | August 12, 2008, 1:24pm | #

  • smartass||

  • ||

    Cool Cal: looked for the song on YouTube. It wasn't there, but I learned a great new vocabulary word: maiesiophilia, or pregnancy fetishism. Yes, I found a video of pregnant women on the beach with "Self Control" as the soundtrack. Even when you're not trying you can be educated on the internet!

  • The Chinese||

    You can also be educated in other ways, Vanessa.
    We're watching you.

  • ||

    Oh, I have nothing to fear. I have great teeth!

  • ||

    The song comes up number 3 on an iTunes search.

  • wizard of oz books||

    With many new announcement about the wizard of oz movies in the news, you might want to consider starting to obtain Wizard of Oz book series either as collectible or investment at RareOzBooks.com.

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