New at Reason: Gillespie on Great Moments in the Drug War Kulturkampf

May 30, 2008

A plea-bargaining Pee Wee Herman lecturing on the dangers of crack cocaine? Dragnet Detective Joe Friday slapping the 'cuffs on Blue Boy? Saved by the Bell's Jesse Spano spazzing out on caffeine pills? Sonny Bono slurring his way through an anti-pot pitch? Heavy-metal junkies destroying communism?

What's your favorite small-screen anti-drug message? Nick Gillespie presents video of all those and more in "High Comedies: Great moments in the drug war Kulturkampf."

Comments

bv|5.30.08 @ 4:41PM|#

stupid site

bfgbbbbb|5.30.08 @ 4:42PM|#

stupid site

Old Bull Lee|5.30.08 @ 4:51PM|#

Or you could check out this Cracked article:

http://www.cracked.com/article_15294_5-most-ineffective-anti-drug-psas-all-time.html

I usually like the thicker ones, but Rachel Leigh Cook can come over and slam my dishes around anytime. So can Elizabeth Berkeley.

Granted, Saved by the Bell was a beauty pageant as much as everything on the CW is, but "crypto-kiddie-porn" seems harsh.

|5.30.08 @ 5:04PM|#

It's old and dated. And I promise not to post it again (unless I really want to or something) but this thread is just crying out for my Public Service Announcement Parody.

PSA
Setting: Sunny day in the park, father and son taking a stroll.

Kid: Dad, did you ever do drugs?
Dad:[stammers] Well uhh

[guy with large Que cards (QCG) runs up and holds up card that reads:
YEAH I DID
AND IT WAS A DUMB THING TO DO]

Dad: [Looks at card, begins reading, vaguely dispassionate]
Yeah I did, and it was a dumb �
[shakes head begins speaking in engaged conversation voice ]
Yeah, yeah I did. I did a lot of dumb things too. But I also had some great times. Some of the best moments of my life happened when I was high. Like the first time I made love to your mother.

[QCG gets panicked look on face. Turns card over and reads it (twice) turns card back around and holds it up, waves it back and forth]

Kid: Sooooo, you're saying drugs made your life better?
Dad: I'm saying that drugs are powerful things. And like all powerful things, you need to have a healthy fear of them. You see son, drugs, like cars, a little knowledge, and religion, can be very dangerous. But they can also be useful and life enhancing when used responsibly. It's important that you educate yourself on the effects and risks before you start experimenting.

[QCG rotates the "yeah I did" card to back of stack. He frantically waves the new top card which reads:
BUT NO ONE EVER TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT]

Dad: [turns his back to QCG and faces his son] And the biggest risk of all is the fact that they're illegal. Not only can you get arrested, but if you're convicted you loose any chance of getting into college or landing a decent job. And of course there's no FDA or even Consumer's Reports to ensure purity and quality. For instance, Ecstasy is far safer than beer, but when you buy pills on the black market, there's no way of knowing what is in them. You could be putting anything from sugar to cyanide in your body.

[Father and son begin walking again. QCG violently throws the "no one ever" card away. His new card reads:
DRUGS ARE BAD
MMMMM-KAY
He is walking backwards and jamming his finger at his card]

Kid: So if making drugs illegal actually makes them more dangerous, why don't we just end drug prohibition?
Dad: Well it's like I said son, people do a lot of dumb things.
[Father and son continue talking and walk off together]
[QCG trips and falls to ground, cards go flying. Close up on his face � look of exasperation]
QCG: I need a drink

|5.30.08 @ 5:04PM|#

Yeah, Nick, "crypto-kiddie-porn"? I think you have some issues to work out.

|5.30.08 @ 5:05PM|#

It's a shame that the Reagan-era PSAs eclipse the classic Nixon-era "Why do you think they call it 'dope', anyway?" PSA. Does anyone remember the PSA based on the "Emperor's New Clothes" in which a pusher foists some pills upon some youthful parade-goers, and upon gazing at the Emperor's birthday suit, they stoners proclaim, "Groovy! Far out! Faaaaantastic!"

I was about 8 years old when I saw that ad, and I couldn't wait to get high.

Colin|5.30.08 @ 5:18PM|#

The Quincy punk rock link is dead.

Too bad -- that was a classic.

Episiarch|5.30.08 @ 5:18PM|#

Sorry, but the best moment was on 90210 when Brandon was going out with the punk-like girl and decided to dump her. The gang was working on a float for some parade and she torches it because he dumped her. At one point in the episode Brenda becomes frustrated with Brandon's still affectionate feelings for the girl and exclaims "But Brandon, she smokes POT!!!"

I was viciously high with a group of a people when that occurred. We were literally rolling on the floor laughing.

|5.30.08 @ 5:22PM|#

The greatest anti-drug scare movie is still HIGH SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL: Jerry Lee Lewis doing the greatest theme-song of all time, Mamie Van Doren in a bullet-bra, and a pre-Uncle Fester Jackie Coogan as a beatnick dealing "horse" to very-old looking "teenagers"...

|5.30.08 @ 5:22PM|#

Greatest moment.
Easy.
It's definitely this.

Salvius|5.30.08 @ 5:25PM|#

I haven't watched the video, but based on the picture of Pith Helmet Guy, I can only say: If your goal is to influence the behavior of (actual or potential) pot-smoking young people, I'm not sure the best choice of spokesman is a Funny-Lookin' Old Dude.

Kolohe|5.30.08 @ 5:31PM|#

Rachel Leigh Cook smashing her kitchen with a cast iron skillet made me feel funny, like when I climb the rope in gym class.

T|5.30.08 @ 5:40PM|#

Anybody but me remember going clubbing in the late 80s/early 90s and seeing video remixes of the drug PSAs with techno soundtracks?

|5.30.08 @ 5:48PM|#

I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!

|5.30.08 @ 5:56PM|#

How about the one where Reason-favorite Bob Barr suggested prosecuting persons who advocate a reform of drug policies under federal racketeering laws?

No?

|5.30.08 @ 6:28PM|#

Helen Hunt jumps out a window on PCP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEpyLzHeozY

duster|5.30.08 @ 6:32PM|#

Q, you just killed my buzz....

Now I have to go to youtube to look at more hilarious 'anti-drug' PSA's to cheer myself up.

EJM|5.30.08 @ 6:33PM|#

How about the very special "Diff'rent Strokes" featuring Nancy Reagan?

|5.30.08 @ 6:38PM|#

How about the one where Reason-favorite Bob Barr suggested prosecuting persons who advocate a reform of drug policies under federal racketeering laws?

how about shutting the fuck up about what people used to believe?

I forgot...you're one of those "I was 100-100 on the Nolan Chart at conception" people...right?

EJM|5.30.08 @ 6:49PM|#

I guess I should have followed the link in Jamie Kelly's comment.

Old Bull Lee|5.30.08 @ 6:56PM|#

"I forgot...you're one of those 'I was 100-100 on the Nolan Chart at conception' people...right?"

Reminds me of high school, except it was people who were going alternative/punk/whatever. "I've had this [insert band] T-shirt like, forever man..."

|5.30.08 @ 7:51PM|#

Hey, all those clips have been pulled from YouTube. I guess someone in the copyright gestapo must read Reason.

|5.30.08 @ 8:04PM|#

1. The anti drug commercial in the late 80's early 90's where the drug dealer turns into a cobra mutant man thing

2. The fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode where Carlton gets hooked on uppers and passes out.

Rick H.|5.30.08 @ 9:04PM|#

Cocaine strips life down to the bone.

Brian Sorgatz|5.30.08 @ 11:37PM|#

"Everyone wants to be cool," says Pee-wee Herman. Not me. I agree with the Stone Roses. I wanna be a dork.

|5.31.08 @ 12:19AM|#

*Stop the Madness* is awesome! Was that Stacy Keach who appeared in that girl's refrigerator? Cause that really would be kinda scary.

dead_elvis|5.31.08 @ 12:38AM|#

Speaking of anti-drug hysteria that the kids just laugh off, MADD plus cops in Oceanside CA hoaxed a high school and pretended that a student got killed by drunk driving.

""If I sit there and lecture somebody in a nice way, it's going to go in one ear and out the other," he said. "In today's world, where they have all sorts of gore and fantastic things that kids can access on the computer, if you want to compete with that, you have to jar them emotionally.

"I want them to be an emotional wreck."

Sad thing about the whole nonsense is that I am sure the only people who were emotionally wrecked were the goody-two-shoes who weren't going to drink and drive anyway. The ones who are drinking are laughing hysterically at how ridiculous the lying and manipulative authority figures are.

Snootful|5.31.08 @ 12:43AM|#

How about the one where Reason-favorite Bob Barr suggested prosecuting persons who advocate a reform of drug policies under federal racketeering laws?

How gauche of you to mention that! Don't you realize that now things like consistency and long-term dedication are quaint notions to be derided! "Libertarian since birth" is the epithet du jour. Bob "I was for the WOD before I was against it-I was for the Patriot Act before I was against it-I was for the war in Iraq before I was against it" Barr is the new paradigm. If all it takes to get a little face time on CNN is whoring out your party and your principles, why resist sleeping with the enemy?

Stop the Madness|5.31.08 @ 1:11AM|#

Sgt Stedenko? That was his best role ever.

|5.31.08 @ 1:16AM|#

Snootful - the nomination is over. Get the fuck over it.

|5.31.08 @ 3:22AM|#

In all seriousness, Courtney Love all sweaty and incoherent is the best anti-drug ad I've ever seen, and the (great filmmaker) Mel Gibson's simmering anti-Semitism is the best warning I've ever seen against alcoholism. They both seem so authentic*.

*Why hasn't the marijuana killed Snoop Dogg or Willie Nelson yet? Oh well, at least it's kept both of them from being successful in life.

Snootful|5.31.08 @ 10:10AM|#

Ayn_Randian: fuck you and that theocon asshole Barr. I'll say whatever I fucking want without asking an arrogant prick like you for permission.

|5.31.08 @ 12:06PM|#

Snootful: it's just the internet. It's gonna be OK.

|5.31.08 @ 7:13PM|#

Oh noes! Snootful, aka Q, is pissed! WHY DID YOU HIJACK MY PARTIES!!!!!11!