Reason Magazine
- reason.com
- reason.tv
- reason.org
- Donate
- Site Search:
Reason on Facebook
Reason on Twitter
Reason on YouTube
Reason RSSGet Reason E-mail Updates!
Manage your Reason e-mail list subscriptionsadvertisements
Hitler vs. Doritos
Remember the movie Contact, where aliens find us
because we accidentally sent
them a broadcast of Hitler speaking at the 1936 Olympics?
Wouldn't it be better if they find us because of delicious Nacho
Cheese Doritos?
The British public is being asked to shoot a 30-second ad about what they perceive life on earth to be as part of Doritos 'You Make It, We Play It' user-generated-content campaign. The winning advert in the competition will be beamed past the earth's atmosphere, beyond our solar system and into the Universe, to anyone 'out there' that may be watching. The winning ad will also be broadcast on terrestrial TV.
This might seem like an insane publicity stunt. But don't worry, it's actually very practical:
Dr Darren Wright, Lecturer in the Radio and Space Plasma Physics Group, Department of Physics & Astronomy at the University of Leicester has played a pivotal role in realising this project. "There could also be potential commercial interest in enterprises like this. Imagine one day that companies on Earth might wish to advertise to other planetary colonies within our solar system --for example if man ever moves to colonise Mars!
Ads! In! Spaaaace!
Bingo|3.13.08 @ 5:00PM|#
This is pretty risky, we could spread the obesity epidemic to other civilizations!
Episiarch|3.13.08 @ 5:07PM|#
This is genius. They will totally tap into the stoned alien market having the munchies.
.|3.13.08 @ 5:11PM|#
Wouldn't something stupidly simple be much better? For example,
we could count to 10 with amplitude spikes with an analog signal,
as in:
---^---^^---^^^---^^^^...etc
It would likely be obvious to anyone looking at the signal that
someone is doing that intentionally.
It would be difficult even for alien super geniuses to sort a video
clip out from noise and then figure out the format of the audio and
video (assuming the concept of digital or analog video and audio
transmitted over the electromagnetic spectrum even exists to
them).
short, fat bastard|3.13.08 @ 5:14PM|#
---^---^^---^^^---^^^^...etc
That's how the alien's respond to us.
|3.13.08 @ 5:16PM|#
Oh sure, let's commercialize space. Next we'll have giant
billboards being dragged along by dead satellites blocking our view
of the stars and stuff.
What do I care. It's always cloudy here anyway.
The Wine Commonsewer|3.13.08 @ 5:16PM|#
Doritos were a great invention because, for the first time in history there were commercially available chips that tasted good with beer.
Episiarch|3.13.08 @ 5:19PM|#
I see the logic here. Since Doritos ads work on illegal aliens, they must work on space aliens too.
|3.13.08 @ 5:37PM|#
Oh, and somehow that analog signal will be transmitted without noise? Though I do agree that sending them something complex and formatted is a bad idea, I just don't think anything we shoot out in space is going to work to our liking.
|3.13.08 @ 5:42PM|#
Off world civilizations are already aware of us, having a
version of "warp drive". We are currently overseen by a local
"Council Of Worlds"; about 40 or so worlds in our local area.
We are quarrantined from participation for now, as we are still
considered a violent, dangerous, and genocidal race of beings.
|3.13.08 @ 5:46PM|#
I have sworn off Doritos ever since Frito-Lay ignored my
numerous entreaties to bring back the ORIGINAL RECIPE Taco-flavor
Doritos. (Yes, I sent them real, postal letters via snail mail, and
provided feedback via their website, too.) No attempt at "new and
improved" Taco flavor has ever measured up to the original recipe:
the "Taco Bell" version was a hugely disappointing travesty, for
example.
There also used to be a round tortilla chip (sold in my part of
California and perhaps elsewhere in a tube like Pringles), with a
flavor that was close enough to original Taco Doritos to keep me
happy for awhile, once Frito-Lay abandoned their recipe, but I
haven't seen the acceptable substitute on grocer shelves for many
years, perhaps two decades now. (It wasn't Tostitos.)
I can understand why companies might want to play the "new and
improved" game, to gain incremental (sometimes more than
incremental) increases in market share and revenue, but what's
wrong with letting long-time customers, who know their own tastes,
go back to the thing they like, if the new version is found to be
wanting?
|3.13.08 @ 5:49PM|#
# DG | March 13, 2008, 5:42pm | #
# Off world civilizations are already aware
# of us, having a version of "warp drive".
# We are currently overseen by a local
# "Council Of Worlds"; about 40 or so
# worlds in our local area.
# We are quarrantined from participation
# for now, as we are still considered a
# violent, dangerous, and genocidal race
# of beings.
Says the shill for the Kanamits. Likely story!
|3.13.08 @ 6:05PM|#
This afternoon while walking back from lunch I spotted a billboard for "moonvertising." I thought somebody else might be looking into outer space ads, but apparently it's some lame ad campaign for Rolling Rock.
|3.13.08 @ 6:06PM|#
Oh, and somehow that analog signal will be transmitted without noise?
I know, there's a lot of microwave radiation and other interference
in space, but I'm terribly ignorant as to how far a radio signal
can travel through a vacuum before being distorted beyond
intelligibility.
Perhaps there's someone on her who can illuminate the subject for
me.
Someone Who Doesn\'t Want to L|3.13.08 @ 6:24PM|#
J.A.M.:
I loved those original Taco flavor chips too.
|3.13.08 @ 6:28PM|#
Off world civilizations are already aware of us, having a
version of "warp drive". We are currently overseen by a local
"Council Of Worlds"; about 40 or so worlds in our local area.
We are quarrantined from participation for now, as we are still
considered a violent, dangerous, and genocidal race of
beings.
Well that just pisses me off! I say we go and kick their bug eyed,
ooze dripping, tentacled asses.
|3.13.08 @ 6:35PM|#
I know, there's a lot of microwave radiation and other
interference in space, but I'm terribly ignorant as to how far a
radio signal can travel through a vacuum before being distorted
beyond intelligibility.
Perhaps there's someone on her who can illuminate the subject for
me.
IIRC, we are now the brightest star in the galaxy at certain
frequencies (UHF?). This is of course a recent occurance,
detectable for less than 100 light years. But that bubble is
growing. If somebody is out there, they should eventually notice
us.
|3.13.08 @ 6:40PM|#
IIRC, we are now the brightest star in the galaxy at certain frequencies (UHF?).
That's cool. I had no idea.
|3.13.08 @ 6:41PM|#
My concern is the hyperbole or "puffery" found in our commercial broadcasts may unduly heighten expectations in the galactic marketplace. If hungry aliens come here expecting more from Doritos than we can supply, well, we may encounter some difficulties. Ranging from trouble with the Galactic Trade Commission to the conversion of our planet into a cloud of gas.
Someone Who Doesn\'t Want to L|3.13.08 @ 6:53PM|#
IIRC, we are now the brightest star in the galaxy at certain
frequencies (UHF?). This is of course a recent occurance,
detectable for less than 100 light years. But that bubble is
growing. If somebody is out there, they should eventually notice
us.
Eventually depending greatly on how far away they are at the speed
of light.
But interesting nevertheless.
EJM|3.13.08 @ 6:54PM|#
There's also the "Tales from the Darkside" episode where a supposed alien finances concluding episodes for a TV series, 20 years after it was cancelled, so that his planet's inhabitants can have some closure.
NoStar|3.13.08 @ 7:11PM|#
EJM,
That explains the Gilligan's Island movies and the Brady Bunch
reunions.
|3.13.08 @ 7:18PM|#
the Brady Bunch reunions
I love those newer movies where they parody the "Brady Bunch" TV
show, though. Gary Cole (as Mike), Shelley Long (as Carol) and
Jennifer Elise Cox (as Jan) are f'n hilarious IMHO.
*btw, really off-subject, but Ice Cube is the obvious choice to
play B.A. Barracus if they ever make a new A-Team movie.
alan|3.13.08 @ 7:19PM|#
If the purpose is to entice the aliens here, Doritos ought to do it, but if we want to keep the bugged eyed fuckers away, beaming clips of Ron Jeremy porn ought to do it.
|3.13.08 @ 7:26PM|#
IIRC, we are now the brightest star in the galaxy at certain
frequencies
Typical Earthnocentric jingoism.
Someone Who Doesn\'t Want to L|3.13.08 @ 7:28PM|#
I love those newer movies where they parody the "Brady
Bunch" TV show, though. Gary Cole (as Mike), Shelley Long (as
Carol) and Jennifer Elise Cox (as Jan) are f'n hilarious
IMHO.
Never seen the movies, POG, but the "Marcia" in them is Ben
Stiller's wife Christine Taylor who makes me crazy.
|3.13.08 @ 7:35PM|#
I've read at www.centauri-dreams.org that the only Earthly
transmissions that are likely to be detectable at interstellar
distances are powerful radar bursts from big radio telescopes like
the one at Arecibo, and maybe some military radars (I think). Not
regular television or radio broadcasts ... and not the Dorito
commercial, either.
So the Zeta Reticulans are probably not watching our broadcasts of
The Beverly Hillbillies or The Fall Guy.
Someone Who Doesn\'t Want to L|3.13.08 @ 8:14PM|#
I think you underestimate the sexiness of Heather Thomas and Nancy Kulp.
|3.13.08 @ 9:00PM|#
Stevo,
Sure, you say that now, pre-contact. But when a ten-foot alien
comes to your door, asking you for some Doritos that he traveled
5,000 light years to get, you'd better be prepared.
Ash Lux|3.13.08 @ 10:34PM|#
"This is pretty risky, we could spread the obesity epidemic to
other civilizations!"
Bingo: I think you just made the case on why the military should
pay for this. Get other civilizations out there obese so they have
more difficulty taking over us! So who wants to present this to the
DoD and snatch up a lucrative contract?
Mark Bahner|3.13.08 @ 11:33PM|#
Ohhh...that gives me an idea. (Probably someone else has thought
of this...)
Have a "laser" (Dr. Evil quotes) that traces a path on the moon,
like an electron gun on a cathode ray tube. One could advertise on
the new moon or on the dark side of a crescent moon.
In fact, the Bush Administration could, in their waning days,
develop the laser broadcast system to tell us what the terrorism
alert level is. A yellow spot on the moon? Terrorism level must be
amber. (Or at least yellow.)
If someone is an engineer with way too much time on his or her
hands, I'd be interested in whether the technology already exists
to do something like that, or how far laser development is from
being able to do something like that.
P.S. From a brief Google search, it looks like Arthur C. Clarke may
have thought about this way back in 1956. The guy's amazing. But I
guess it wasn't using lasers, so I'm safe.
P.P.S. I see from wonderful Wikipedia that a movie version of
Rendevous with Rama is due out in 2009! Cool!
P.P.P.S. But I'm still angry with the Clarke for stealing my idea
of a space elevator, before I thought of it. (Of course, other
people thought of it before Clarke, but it's still annoying for him
to steal from me like that.)
|3.13.08 @ 11:48PM|#
If I had such a broadcasting chance, I would not share with the
universe an ad for Doritos, but rather the very best of culture
humanity has to offer. To wit:
http://tinyurl.com/37ws8e
|3.14.08 @ 1:11AM|#
"...the very best of culture humanity has to offer. To wit:
http://tinyurl.com/37ws8e"
Oh come on! I liked that video in the 80s and still smile when I
see it today! Let's hear it for UK government-grant pop stars! You
KNOW he would have done well on Pop Idol (or American Idol, if he
had been willing to relocate).
And while we're at it, even the Bee Gees were a lot better than
people give them credit for. Show 'em some love, people!
Yeah, that's how I feel. Whatcha gonna do about it?
|3.14.08 @ 2:29AM|#
Then we will just have to frighten them off with our advanced
alien defeating technology.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wieStI7kN-I
(it worked against the Zentraadi)
robc|3.14.08 @ 8:11AM|#
No Forge of God comments? Dont advertise, there are
wolves out there.
One of the themes of the book is that the reason we have never
received contact or picked up anything from SETI is that everyone
is masking themselves. Civilizations that broadcast get destroyed
quickly.
The sequel Anvil of Stars sucked.
Neu Mejican|3.14.08 @ 10:15AM|#
There's also the "Tales from the Darkside" episode where a
supposed alien finances concluding episodes for a TV series, 20
years after it was cancelled, so that his planet's inhabitants can
have some closure.
First they use "TV Party" in the soundtrack...and now I find that
Futurama ripped off this plot.
The depth of their cultural referencing is staggering.
robc|3.14.08 @ 10:19AM|#
NM,
I knew Futurama ripped off something, I just didnt know what.
You do realize, in that ripoff, that "Single Female Lawyer" was
also a ripoff, right?
Neu Mejican|3.14.08 @ 10:42AM|#
I realize in introduced the term "ripped-off," but I don't want people to get the idea I am criticizing the show for it...Futurama kicks ass largely because of their astute cultural references.
robc|3.14.08 @ 10:51AM|#
NM,
Im with you on homages and futurama. I just kept using the term
becasue you did. I thought about using the term parody, but thought
ripoff was funnier.
|3.14.08 @ 1:21PM|#
I think a much better idea would be a spacecraft loaded with doritos and other goodies from earth and send it into deep space. I would hate for them to get the advert and travel all the friggin way here and not like doritos.
|3.14.08 @ 3:09PM|#
If we start our intergalactic advertising with Doritos, it won't take much before we degenerate to flashy, poorly produced ads for the local used rocket lot.
|3.14.08 @ 3:14PM|#
Nobody appears to have considered the possibility that, due to
differences in alien biology, doritos and other junk foods could
actually affect them as methamphetamines do us humans: help them
LOSE weight, and give them alertness and stamina to devastate earth
population centers all night long and into the next morning. Sure,
they would ultimately crash hard, but would we still be around to
take advantage of it?
I'm just sayin'.
Site comments/questions:
Media Inquiries and Reprint Permissions:
(310) 367-6109
Editorial & Production Offices:
3415 S. Sepulveda Blvd.
Suite 400
Los Angeles, CA 90034
(310) 391-2245