Brian Doherty | July 24, 2007
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I got my best friend a subscription for his wedding present -
and he loved it. His German wife, OTOH, that I was an utter
moron.
This sad announcement makes me pig-bitin' mad, in the words of the
late, lamented Ed Anger.
Weekly World News is not dead! It's just gone underground, and
will be sighted at various 7/11 stores around the country.
Until the aliens come and take them, and then return them to
earth.
"His German wife, OTOH, that I was an utter moron."
why on earth would she think that???
meh. I for one could live without anything on display at the checkout stand. I'd like to think I could live much happier without any of the people who read anything on display at the checkout stand, but they're mostly women and I'm not sure how many of the 'good ones' would get caught in the net.
This is a sad day. My dream of one day writing for the Weekly World News will never come true.
My highlight of any trip to the grocery store is reading the headlines on those things, and the WWN is usually the best. I've often found myself laughing out loud (with the person in front of me looking at me like I've lost it). It will be missed.
don't waste my time on the comings and goings of comic books - whatever their format.
Jennifer, I always pictured you as Onion caliber.
That's meant as a compliment.
I always got sucked into buying one issue every couple of years
just because the headline was to good to pass up. The last one I
got had "photos" of Saddam's and Osama's Secret Gay Affair. The
"picture" of them riding the Tea Cups at Disney World was absurdly
sublime.
I actually had a whole wall in my dorm dedicated to TWWN clippings.
Bat Boy, The Worlds Fattest Baby, Space Alien endorses Clinton.
Great headlines and even better shitty Photoshop jobs.
This is a sad day for me.
I guess I'll have to go home and curl up with my copy of Bat Boy
Lives: Best of the Weekly World News.
mediageek,
WWN was the Onion for cool people!
"Man shoots himself after his canary drowns in glass of wine!"
NOOOOOOOO! We always buy a copy for family road trips. Laugh
till the tears come.
Pestilence, one of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocolypse, wins the
Kentucky Derby.
Ed Anger. The Angriest Man in America!
Are your neighbors or co-workers aliens? 10 telltale clues.
Ahh, so many memories.....
I hate to be That Guy, but: the WWN had really fallen pretty far
in quality lately. My boss had a subscription and would bring in
issues as bathroom reading material here at the office, so I've
read a whole lot of WWN recently.
There was a time when the writers could keep a straight face
through the whole article, whatever the topic. All the issues I've
read for the past year or so, though, have always ended each
article with a half-assed pun or other lame joke.
JANIS JOPLIN AND MAMA CASS LIVING TOGETHER IN LESBIAN LOVE
NEST
See? See? I would have made a GREAT Weekly World
News writer!
But Jennifer, who says that Weekly World News is actually dead?
Huh?
You should write an article about how it's just in hiding, and
submit it to the Onion.
You should write an article about how it's just in hiding,
and submit it to the Onion.
They don't accept freelance stuff. Besides, I'm still supposed to
finish this OTHER freelance piece that is quickly becoming the bane
of my existence. It would be easier if I were writing for WWN,
because then I could just make shit up instead of having to do
actual research.
SCIENTISTS SAY MERMAID SKELETON MISSING LINK BETWEEN MAN AND
FISH
Before they go out of business, I hope that they tell us who the Space Alien is endorsing for president, otherwise I won't have a clue who to vote for.
The Onion has been all down hill since they replaced "man with
hat" in the "What do you think?" photos. And when did it start
getting called "American Voices"?
In my mind they've never topped the "Smells Like Splattered Brains"
tagline from the week after Cobain's suicide.
Also, The Onion should be read in print form and get off my
lawn.
You know, it won't die, it will be transformed.
Have you ever noticed that the Drudgereport is like, half headlines
from the National Star and WWN?
See.
I bet you the trademark for it is already sold.
I mean, I would buy it right away if it wasn't.
isildur:
I recently acquired a copy of WWN after not reading it for well
over a decade. The change in tone reminded me of when professional
wrestling stopped pretending to be real.
robc:
"What Do You Think" became "American Voices" when it switched from
six people's opinions once a week to three opinions daily (online,
at least; I haven't had a print subscription in years).
In other news, I'm a colossal dork.
Man, as an Onion writer, this saddens me to no end. I learned
satire from Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Heller and Ed Anger. Actually,
put Ed Anger first in that list.
Fortunately, Ed Anger's words can be purchased used for
pennies.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0553066854/reasonmagazineA/
Buy it. Teach the children well.
Now, to drown my WWN-less sorrows.
Weekly World News was still the best, most hilarious piece of
reading material out there. I'm a long-time fan/reader. But, about
a year (or more) ago, it was re-tooled and really is only a shadow
of what it used to be. I noticed that it has very few advertisers
any more (either classified or display). So, a while back someone
fixed something that wasn't broken and sales dropped, leading to
its demise. Seen THAT story before!
Adios, WWN!
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