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Lost: Campaign Season
An oldie (by blog standards), but a goodie.
Presidential candidates on what they'd bring to a desert
island. I can't decide whether I'm happy so many of the
candidates like books, or irritated at prevalence of the generic
"books" as an dull, inoffensive choice.
DEMOCRATS:
Delaware Sen. Joe Biden: "Jill, my wife."
New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton: "A good book."
Connecticut Sen. Chris Dodd: "Coffee with cream and sugar."
Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: "A book."
Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: His wife, Elizabeth.
Illinois Sen. Barack Obama : "Other than my wife and my kids, an inanimate object I would have to have would probably be a good book."
New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson: "Blackberry and a Davidoff cigar."
REPUBLICANS:
Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback: "Tarp."
Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani : "Books and music."
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: "Laptop with satellite reception."
California Rep. Duncan Hunter: "Mrs. Hunter."
Arizona Sen. John McCain : "Books." (Note: In 2000, McCain said, "SPF 45 sunblock.")
Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: "My wife, Ann."
Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: "Boat."
This is the first and only time I've been tempted to vote for Richardson. Well, that and the time he gave me free salsa.
thoreau|5.4.07 @ 2:41PM|#
I'm going to type something that I have never typed
before:
I agree with Tom Tancredo.
And if I couldn't bring a boat to the tropical island, I'd bring an
Iraqi with military experience and engineering skills, because
Sayid is the only useful character on that show.
I'm guessing Tancredo would have issues with having Sayid on the
island.
|5.4.07 @ 2:43PM|#
I have to side with Tancredo there. Of course, if he were on any island that is not a US Territory they would just throw him back in the water for being an illegal.
|5.4.07 @ 2:47PM|#
I kinda wish Tancredo was referring to "boat" as in marijuana laced with PCP, as in if he were on a desert island he would just get as high as possible.
Paul|5.4.07 @ 2:50PM|#
Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo: "Boat."
I dunno, I'd rank this as the most clever answer. Probably the most
honest.
Speaking for myself, I would really only want the boat of my wife
were with me. That way one of us could leave.
Bee|5.4.07 @ 2:55PM|#
Rum, so I could set it on fire, prompting a tall ship crewed by manly men to come and rescue me.
thoreau|5.4.07 @ 2:57PM|#
Here's the real question: Whom would you vote for as Island
President?
Plausible candidates:
Jack: Doctor, and basically the incumbent. However, the voters are
in an anti-incumbent mood, as the past few months have seen
steadily declining mango production, and a drastic drop in pork.
Then again, with the ongoing terrorist threat from the Others, he
might be able to re-invent himself as a hawk, although he'll need
to ditch Juliet.
Locke: By Island standards he's the religious right candidate,
because he clearly has a direct line to whichever deity controls
that island. Unless he's falling for some massive con, in which
case he's actually just a religious right voter.
Sawyer: Con man. Has politician written all over him.
Ben: Years of leadership experience. Another con man
extraordinaire. Yeah, he's obviously evil, but when has that ever
hurt a candidate for public office?
Sayid: Highly competent, military experience. Expect him to do
badly in Iowa and then drop out and endorse Sawyer.
Spoilers:
Charlie: Just another celebrity who's fooled himself into thinking
he could run for Island President. What does he think this is,
California?
Desmond: He's going for the hippie vote.
Kate: The anti-Badnarik. While he has no driver's license, she has
several...and all under different names. With a criminal
background, familiarity and a history of being a loner on the run,
but a pro-driver's license stance, she's the perfect candidate for
an LP that's looking to repudiate the Badnarik debacle.
|5.4.07 @ 2:58PM|#
Bah. This just goes to show the utter dishonesty of elected officials. None of them had the integrity to give the one answer in each of their minds: Lobbyist
thoreau|5.4.07 @ 3:01PM|#
Blah, meant to write that Kate has a "familiarity with guns, and history of being a loner on the run..."
|5.4.07 @ 3:08PM|#
Is there anyone married longer than a couple of weeks that would really choose to take their spouse to a desert island? I mean, my wife is fine in short doses, but 24/7 just the two of us on a desert island? I'd be praying for the cannibal natives to show up.
Jesse Walker|5.4.07 @ 3:25PM|#
I'm amazed at the number of candidates who in essence said, "I have so little regard for my wife's well being, I would condemn her to a life of exile just to keep me company."
|5.4.07 @ 3:34PM|#
Jesse, I thought about that angle as well. Obama went as far as to say said he would purposely put his kids in peril for his own personal benefit.
|5.4.07 @ 3:37PM|#
Jesse has a good point. Similarly, the question was
"What is your desert island necessity?" "What,"
not "Who." I don't think of my wife as a "what."
"Yeah, I'll take that thing with ears that nods when I talk."
And big yawn on all the other answers.
|5.4.07 @ 3:40PM|#
I'm amazed at the number of candidates who in essence said,
"I have so little regard for my wife's well being, I would condemn
her to a life of exile just to keep me company."
Me too. I'm not surprised, though. Most politicians are probably
narcissists.
|5.4.07 @ 3:50PM|#
Richardson had better be talking about the Davidoff Millennium Blend, (not the regular line) because if you're willing to overpay that much for the Davidoff name, you'd want something with some flavor.
|5.4.07 @ 3:54PM|#
I'd rather have a high-end Romeo y Julieta (from Cuba, although
the Dominican ones are good, too). They are soooooo tasty and
smoooooooth--really, really, smoooooooooth.
Damn, I have one left! I may have to break it out tonight!
bubba|5.4.07 @ 3:55PM|#
It seems pretty selfish of someone to strand his own wife on a desert island.
|5.4.07 @ 4:03PM|#
To the candidates who answered a book, I turn quickly, point my finger, and shout, "Which book? Quickly!"
highnumber|5.4.07 @ 4:13PM|#
I hope that none of those who said "good book" really end up on a desert island and then break their reading glasses, because that would totally suck.
|5.4.07 @ 4:13PM|#
A book? who wants one book for 30 years? Give me 70 virgins. Oh wait, I think I get that for doing something else.
|5.4.07 @ 4:16PM|#
What's stopping them for showing a little bit of persoality and
throwing in a funny or unorthadox answer? Within the bubble, is
their any justification they have behind that or are all of these
people just plain bland?
His politics aside, we need another quipy politico like Barry
Goldwater. He wasn't afraid to crack a joke (outside of scripted,
corny pat-on-the-back jokes written by hack speech writers) or show
to the world that he has a personality.
|5.4.07 @ 4:17PM|#
"I hope that none of those who said "good book" really end
up on a desert island and then break their reading glasses, because
that would totally suck."
That's why you should bring Burgess Meredith.
|5.4.07 @ 4:20PM|#
I'd watch a Lost if McCain, Clinton, and Obama where on the island. Just imagine the flashbacks, and how Clinton alienates herself from the group due to her inability to relate with normal people.
D.A. Ridgely|5.4.07 @ 4:29PM|#
I'm amazed at the number of candidates who in essence said,
"I have so little regard for my wife's well being, I would condemn
her to a life of exile just to keep me company."
Amazed? Oh come now. You haven't known enough career politicians to
gather what their obligatory marriages must really be like?
Personally, given that most said only "a book," I'm rather dismayed
by how slowly these guys read.
thoreau|5.4.07 @ 4:29PM|#
I'd watch a Lost if McCain, Clinton, and Obama where on the
island. Just imagine the flashbacks, and how Clinton alienates
herself from the group due to her inability to relate with normal
people.
Yeah, the POW flashbacks when McCain is captured by The Others
would be pretty scary. But do we really want to see the "How
Clinton got those tattoos" episode? (Yes, they actually had an
episode about a character's tattoos, and yes, it did indeed
suck.)
The one where Obama's long lost father turns out to be on the
Island would be pretty cool, however.
|5.4.07 @ 4:48PM|#
Really, in this forum it shouldn't be me mentioning this
downthread:
A gun. Or, perhaps more practical, a sword with sharp, pointy
edges.
thoreau|5.4.07 @ 4:51PM|#
PL-
If you're going to have a gun on a desert island, the best choice
would probably be a flare gun.
This is not Mel Torme|5.4.07 @ 4:55PM|#
"If you're going to have a gun on a desert island, the best
choice would probably be a flare gun."
yeah - cuz it'll go off in your locker, and you'll have to serve a
Saturday in detention where you learn all about the teenage
experience.
*thinks, "man. what a great idea for a movie."
|5.4.07 @ 4:56PM|#
Why would it be selfish to bring your wife? If my wife was lost
on an island, I would certainly want to be there with her, rather
than safe anywhere else, and I'm sure she feels the same
way...
Besides, what could be more fun than camping on an island for the
rest of your lives? It'd be like Blue Lagoon!
|5.4.07 @ 4:58PM|#
My wife doesn't really like to rough it. : (
Car camping for a couple of days she can deal with. Years on an
island = years of PMS-like behavior.
|5.4.07 @ 5:01PM|#
The Real Bill,
I've got 3 Romeo y Julieta's - Dominican - Verona's Court. I
haven't tried them yet.
Any experience with these?
|5.4.07 @ 5:14PM|#
A really attractive young woman with a classics degree from a
top school, an eidetic memory, and several years experience working
for Outward Bound...
...And I think I've just lost the religious right vote.
|5.4.07 @ 5:18PM|#
I've got 3 Romeo y Julieta's - Dominican - Verona's Court. I
haven't tried them yet.
Any experience with these?
I haven't had the Verona's Court, but I have had two other kinds
from the DR. They were both quite tasty.
|5.4.07 @ 5:20PM|#
Just the idea of all those politicians stranded on a desert
island is good enough for me.
Heck, they can have 2 things if it'll get them out of here.
|5.4.07 @ 5:34PM|#
Hell, providing pols with a Bill Gates' lifestyle would be cheaper than letting them "control" the purse strings.
|5.4.07 @ 5:37PM|#
No, you've got it all wrong. You don't bring your wife for
companionship, you bring her to cook, keep your cave clean, and do
your laundry.
Plus, if you run out of food,...
|5.4.07 @ 5:40PM|#
Under the theory of revealed preference, every responder except
Tom Tancredo has indicated that they WANT to be stranded on a
deserted island.
I think we should make their wish come true.
thoreau|5.4.07 @ 5:44PM|#
Under the theory of revealed preference, every responder
except Tom Tancredo has indicated that they WANT to be stranded on
a deserted island.
That's because Tom Tancredo believes in building walls, while the
rest of them obviously believe in digging moats.
|5.4.07 @ 5:48PM|#
"""Under the theory of revealed preference, every responder
except Tom Tancredo has indicated that they WANT to be stranded on
a deserted island."""
I don't think is shows desire or want, but it does show a
willingness to do nothing to change the situation once they are
there.
|5.4.07 @ 6:13PM|#
Very well, thoreau, how about a flame thrower? Defeat your enemies, cook your food, and signal for help? A multi-tasker! Alton Brown would be so proud of me.
|5.4.07 @ 6:17PM|#
Alton Brown would be so proud of me.
You'd impress the hell out of him (especially if you could make a
good mango chutney).
|5.4.07 @ 6:24PM|#
Well, with my multi-tasker, I might be able to make a mango chutney, provided that roasting the mango is permitted.
|5.4.07 @ 6:44PM|#
For all of you who are praising Tancredo's choice, keep in mind you're a lot better off on a desert island than on a boat in the middle of the ocean with no compass or maps.
thoreau|5.4.07 @ 6:52PM|#
Trickyvic says:
I don't think is shows desire or want, but it does show a
willingness to do nothing to change the situation once they are
there.
crimethink says:
For all of you who are praising Tancredo's choice, keep in mind
you're a lot better off on a desert island than on a boat in the
middle of the ocean with no compass or maps.
That's because the others will stay the course rather than try
something different, while Tancredo will try to make it
worse.
PL-
Good choice!
|5.4.07 @ 7:07PM|#
Very well, thoreau, how about a flame thrower? Defeat your
enemies, cook your food, and signal for help? A multi-tasker! Alton
Brown would be so proud of me.
Ironicly, the only Alton Brown-approved unitasker is a fire
extinguisher.
|5.4.07 @ 7:10PM|#
""That's because the others will stay the course rather than try
something different, while Tancredo will try to make it
worse.""
lol
Agreed.
Franklin Harris|5.4.07 @ 7:15PM|#
Anyone who doesn't say "Scarlett Johansson" is a damned fool, I say!
|5.4.07 @ 7:32PM|#
Scarlett Johanssson is gorgeous, but she seems dumb. Dumb chicks are good for a couple of rounds, but they get boring real quick.
A damn fool|5.4.07 @ 7:35PM|#
Milla Jovovich or Natasha Lyonne.
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little
minds.
|5.4.07 @ 7:39PM|#
Real Bill,
Well, since we're in the realm of fantasy anyway, you could wish
for a brainy Scarlett Johansson. Or maybe a shape-shifting Scarlett
Johansson if you're afraid of getting bored.
The only downside I could see to this would be that she could
shape-shift into Rosie O'Donnell if you piss her off.
lady love|5.4.07 @ 7:56PM|#
Such cynics! It wouldn't matter where my husband was, (okay, as long as I wasn't being tortured or in a concentration camp or something--not good at dealing with pain so much) I'd rather be with him than anywhere else. Even after 11 years, he's my best friend. Kinda being hard on those who'd want their wife there, me thinks.
lady love|5.4.07 @ 7:59PM|#
wow--correct usage of "their" and "there" in one sentence. I clearly have not had enough alcohol yet tonight. But my use of "kinda" probably cancels out my later excellent display of grammar. ;-)
|5.4.07 @ 8:00PM|#
Only onee thing? Um... how 'bout a fully stocked Target. Staffed by Swedish coeds. In nurses uniforms. A size too small.
|5.4.07 @ 8:37PM|#
lady love,
Thank you for providing more evidence why women should not be
allowed to vote, let alone serve on juries. You love your husband,
so you want to him to die of thirst with you?
lady love|5.4.07 @ 11:12PM|#
No, crimethink. You have it reversed. I would die of thirst for him. Nice reading comprehension, though.
lady love|5.4.07 @ 11:15PM|#
Perhaps I wouldn't be good on a jury, true. I like to use common
sense, have a natural inclination to avoid locking others up for
petty non-violent crime, and distrust paid experts. Also, no
attorney in their right mind would let someone in the legal
profession, specifically, both criminal law and civil litigation,
onto his or her jury. ;-)
Go fuck yourself, crimethink.
Rabbit Scribe|5.5.07 @ 7:22AM|#
Completely off-topic: I was in Belize a few days after a massive hurricane had blown back out to sea. I saw a perfect little Far Side desert isle- maybe 30 feet in diameter, tops, with one palm tree dead-center. I was told that it was what was left of a small cay, and it would wash away soon. But while it lasted, it was hot.
|5.5.07 @ 9:12AM|#
lady love,
Common sense? You just said you'd happily die of thirst on a desert
island just so you could get some extra quality time with your
husband. That degree of attachment is never sensible.
|5.5.07 @ 10:16AM|#
Surprised nobody said bible
Nerd alert:
If you can bring only a single discrete thing and you like to read
ancient literature, then the Bible is really not a bad choice. It's
long (will keep you busy); it includes work by numerous authors
from numerous time periods (so you don't get sick of a single
voice); it has literary, anthropological, and historical interest;
and it can provide interesting puzzles to occupy your thoughts
(such as separating the P, J, and E parts of the Pentateuch or
figuring out which of the letters attributed to Paul were actually
written by him). It's every bit as enjoyable (or the opposite) as
the Odyssey or the Metamorphoses.
lady love|5.5.07 @ 11:00AM|#
Who said love was sensible, crimethink? Like you have never done
anything that wasn't sane when in love? C'mon, fess up. Besides,
it's easy to say you'd risk death for a loved one when sitting in
front of a computer with a nice cup o' coffee. ;-) What can I say?
I really love the man. Are you saying you wouldn't risk death for
extra time with your significant other?
What would not be sensible is to risk your life for someone who's
terrible to you--but that is certainly not the case for me.
Besides, I watch "Survivor Man" and learned how to get water in a
bunch of different ways. ;-) That and Gilligan.
lady love|5.5.07 @ 11:11AM|#
Also, crimethink, if we want to talk about disqualifying voters on the basis of stupid actions committed by their gender, then based on their track record, men would never get to vote again. As far as I know, it wasn't a woman's idea to invade Iraq, but please correct me if I'm wrong.
perilisk|5.5.07 @ 12:05PM|#
Boat? I'd rather have a satphone with some GPS location junk. And a lot of spare batteries. And possibly a month's supply of fresh food and water, depending on the island's resources.
|5.5.07 @ 1:53PM|#
it wasn't a woman's idea to invade Iraq,
Ever heard of Condi Rice?
And I don't have a significant other. I choose not to allow myself
to become attached to fallible creature in the way you
describe.
|5.5.07 @ 1:59PM|#
crimethink: Wouldn't you die for your Imaginary Friend in the sky? What's sensible about that?
lady love|5.5.07 @ 5:02PM|#
Sure, crimethink. It was her idea--not Cheney's or Rumsfeld's or Wolfowitz's or Bush's or Rove's idea. Sheesh.
lady love|5.5.07 @ 5:03PM|#
How sad for you, crimethink. So if a person was infallible, then that person's the person for you? Happy hunting, then, 'cause a person like that doesn't exist.
LarryA|5.6.07 @ 6:14PM|#
I'm amazed at the number of candidates who in essence said,
"I have so little regard for my wife's well being, I would condemn
her to a life of exile just to keep me company."
OTOH, their wives are currently in D.C., so a desert island might
look pretty good.
Politicians on a desert island should be made to read all the
legislation they're responsible for passing. Actually, we could
just skip the desert island part.
If it was me, and all alone, I'd want a deck of cards. Play a
little solitare, get your mind off your problems, and just when you
get really involved and some jerk tells you to play the red ten on
the black jack, you make him take you home.
Cracker\'s Boy|5.6.07 @ 9:24PM|#
"And I don't have a significant other. I choose not to allow
myself to become attached to fallible creature in the way you
describe."
I think I understand why crimethink has no significant other... and
I doubt it's HIS choice...
CB
|5.7.07 @ 10:13AM|#
"Former North Carolina Sen. John Edwards: "A book."
Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich: His wife, Elizabeth."
Whoa, whoa, whoa!!!
I don't think Senator Edwards is going to be very happy when he
reads this.
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