New at Reason

April 4, 2007

Peter Bagge offers an illustrated primer on bums.

Comments

|4.4.07 @ 1:21PM|#

This gives me yet another reason to hate Food Not Bombs;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_Not_Bombs

edna|4.4.07 @ 1:21PM|#

25 yrs in california, never saw a mexican beggar other than ones begging for work.

dhex|4.4.07 @ 1:26PM|#

food not bombs varies in quality depending on the chapter. i've met some right good people and some fucks.

|4.4.07 @ 1:32PM|#

The people at Orlando's FNB chapter are pretty decent people too, actually (even though they don't particularly like me).
I still don't like the ideas of the orgainization, though...from the anarchism all the way to the fact that they only give vegan food to the homeless people. I mean, beggars can't be choosers, but throw them a bone for God's sake. (No pun intended, either time)

|4.4.07 @ 1:35PM|#

For some reason, the images don't show up on my PC here @ work :( Guess I should get back to work now :(

|4.4.07 @ 1:38PM|#

I hate when homeless people try to approach me making small talk, as if neither of us has no clue how the conversation is giong to end.

"Hey, what's up buddy boy? Did you catch the Heat game last night?"

highnumber|4.4.07 @ 2:04PM|#

When I went to college downtown, I would spend breaks between classes reading in the park. I was often approached by "bums" looking for money , but all I could usually offer them was a smoke. Sometimes they'd sit and talk with me for a while. Most of them were not homeless in the sense you'd think. They were usually on SSI for a disability and spent some nights with family, some at shelters, some on the street. These weren't the crazy guys. They were likely the ones who were spending around 6 months on the street. They got lonely and enjoyed company for a little bit. I think they asked for money often just for something to do during the day and for a little drinking money for that night.
I contrast that now with the guys who hang out on the onramp to the expressway by my house. These guys are chronically causing a nuisance and a danger. Experience tells me that those guys have nasty drug habits to feed. Once when one of those regulars asked me for money in front of a fish stand I was heading into, I declined to give him cash but offered a meal. He jumped at it. He took the meal directly across the street to a Wendy's that I know is a drug dealer hangout. I suspect he was going to work out some kind of trade. (Fried catfish for crack? Who knows?) Now I don't even buy those guys food.
Well, I've got absolutely no point to this, so, uh, carry on.

|4.4.07 @ 2:10PM|#

You know, I recently moved from the Bay Area to the DC area, and that's the thing I like most about the move: Not being near SF.

God, that place is a shithole.

|4.4.07 @ 2:12PM|#

"They are able to find humor in their own situations, no matter how abysmal they get"


Bagge almost makes this sound like a bad thing. If your life is really that awful, isn't a little humor all you can really ask for?


Anyway, when I visited San Francisco, almost all of the "bums" and beggars there looked like guys around my age range, and roughly in the same economic range (like any typical suburban guys). These must have fallen into the "scam artist" category. They did not look needy, just incredibly lazy and self-entitled.

|4.4.07 @ 2:18PM|#

Check out this site for an interesting view of the homeless situation in St. Pete, FL.

From the synopsis:

According to homeless people and experts alike, St. Petersburg, Florida is one of the best places to be if you're homeless. In Easy Street, two resident filmmakers spend a year documenting the daily existence of homeless
people throughout the city.

Come face to face with St. Petersburg's chronically homeless in this gritty,
provoking documentary. From a ride in the back of a pickup truck on the way to a
cold night shelter, to homeless squatters camped out in a vacant home for sale, experience for yourself how people exist without a roof over their head and find out why they do it.

|4.4.07 @ 2:23PM|#

Anyone remember the made-for-tv movie that Lucielle Ball did before she died?

She played a crazy homeless lady.

IIRC, the title was Stone Pillows.

/no point.

|4.4.07 @ 2:30PM|#

I hate when homeless people try to approach me making small talk, as if neither of us has no clue how the conversation is giong to end.

The last time that happened to me was when a bum came up and asked, "Hey, what's up man! What are you doing tonight?"
I replied, "Oh, just killing people!"

He walked away rather quickly.

|4.4.07 @ 2:32PM|#

According to homeless people and experts alike, St. Petersburg, Florida is one of the best places to be if you're homeless. In Easy Street, two resident filmmakers spend a year documenting the daily existence of homeless
people throughout the city.

This is the 13th homeless documentary I've heard about (and the first to be done by someone who's not a film student); the subject matter is becoming a freaking genre.

I. Self. Divine.|4.4.07 @ 2:34PM|#

In high school I had a debate coach (who later ended up being a roommate of mine) who was fond of one particular story about the homeless from his glory days working in DC during the Reagan administration. At the time he was ridiculously wealthy (he rented out and lived in the Ugandan embassy), although he later lost all of his money due to losing two major clients and a lifestyle of partying, drugs, and boys. One day he was walking down K street and was approached by a homeless guy asking for money. So, he pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his pocket held it up and as the bums eyes got wide, he asked, "What do you think of President Reagan?" The homeless guy replied with a mumbled response along the lines of, "Aw man, Reagan's an asshole," to which he responded, "Wrong answer," and tore the bill in half and shoved it in his pocket and walked on.

Guy Montag|4.4.07 @ 2:51PM|#

"That's what you get for being a Ford man"

BAHAHAHA! Best joke in there. Actually, kinda reminds me of my Chevy and MOPAR buddies. Well, the MOPAR guys clean up a bit more.

I really like that artist too. He did a cartoon about 4 years or so ago about protestors that was soooo on-the-money it was unreal. Was as if he had seen the same freaks I had on Freedom Plaza in DC.

Here in Arlington, VA there was some bum trying to buy *1* cigarette from me for $0.50 and I thought something was up so I told him to go away (he was smoking earlier when I passed him going the other way too). A friend of mine swears that I am the only person around here who has been *offered* money by a bum.

DS|4.4.07 @ 2:54PM|#

Great cartoon! Thanks.

|4.4.07 @ 2:56PM|#

A friend of mine swears that I am the only person around here who has been *offered* money by a bum.


Guy,

Maybe he read your blog and really liked it.

|4.4.07 @ 3:01PM|#

Breaking News over at highnumber's blog.

Enjoy!

|4.4.07 @ 3:14PM|#

Nice piece. Refreshingly honest expression about the homeless by Bagge, though of course it reinforces the whole 'libertarians are cold-hearted uncaring muthers' criticism.

A few points of my own:

1) The "please help me, I'm from (insert out of town location), I'm stuck, need money for (insert gas, bus ticket etc) to get home" approach. This is rapidly becoming the preferred come-on line. It has the advantage of: "hey, I'm not really a bum, I'm just an ordinary person like you". They usually ask for a specific amount of money ("I just need FIVE DOLLARS AND SIXTY CENTS" or whatever) and often offer to mail it back to you (yeah, like I'm going to give you my address). I don't give money to anyone using this script anymore, 'cause I know it's such a popular formula. Hey, just be honest and tell me you want a drink-- that may work, depending on what mood I'm in.

2) The intimidation or guilting ploy, with racial subtext. I've had guys demand money "because you're a white man!!" Ding-ding-ding, sorry, wrong approach. If I was at all inclined before I will NEVER give you anything now. I've also had shakedown approaches ("you OWE me something!) from people in wheelchairs. Sorry dude, I didn't put you there.

3) Here in Seattle they have the folks who sell Real Change, the homeless newspaper. They actually give these people identity badges to distinguish them from frauds. The Real Change people are generally okay. They can be annoyingly persistant sometimes, but they're always polite and take 'no' for an answer without argument. Fair enough.

I regard panhandling much like just another form of charity or business. I'm a customer-- treat me like one. You impress me, or appeal to my sympathy, or just plain entertain me-- maybe I'll bite. You piss me off or insult my intelligence and you'll never get anything.

Guy Montag|4.4.07 @ 3:16PM|#

Maybe he read your blog and really liked it.

I doubt it, but at any rate, I don't remember 'blogging the protestor stuff before his earlier cartoon came out and I am not sure if I mentioned the bum thing there yet. Then again, I have been busy, so if you have a link I would love the memory refresh :)

shecky|4.4.07 @ 3:24PM|#

Great cartoon, Bagge!

I'm reminded of a problem in the recent past here in The Home Of The Homeless. Well meaning church groups from the 'burbs come here to feed the homeless, much to the chagrin of the city, which has it's own policy on the homeless (generally more contingent on work/sobering up). They come here because "this is where the homeless are". Of course, this began attracting homeless from other areas, literally here for the free lunch. Demonstrating to even more well meaning church groups from the 'burbs a greater need for free food in my town.

The general population around here is pretty tolerant with the homeless, I think because the regulars tend to be fairly easy going. Weather here is good, and there's lots of fat tossed aside from the local and tourist economy. But the problem seems, as Bagge points out, essentially unfixable because the homeless population seems mostly suffering from addictions and/or mental illness. Few are willing to put up with that crap for long. So out on the streets they end up.

25 yrs in california, never saw a mexican beggar other than ones begging for work.

I've seen Mexican bums, but I can't recall many Mexican beggars.

Funny, the other day at a freeway offramp, there was a 40ish white guy, fairly clean and decent looking, with a sign hitting up drivers for a buck. About 10 feet away from him was a Mexican busting his ass selling oranges and strawberries from a shopping cart. I got the distinct feeling beggar collections were down that day.

Guy Montag|4.4.07 @ 3:26PM|#

just another lurker,

Here in Northern VA, there was a method where the bum would walk around with paperwork and tell people he is on the way to an intake center (or something) but they only gave him tokens for the METRO. Of course, the DC area METRO does not use tokens, it uses tickets.

The bum always wants his mark to move to where there is some light too (even in the well-lit Crystal City underground).

The first one I met was on King St. in Alexandria, VA. I offered him directions and a METRO ticket that had ~$1.15 in credit. He got frustrated and upset. I told him it would get him onto a train and when he exits he can tell the manager of the station what is going on, even show him the tokens and he would probably just let the guy go on his way.

No dice, he needed to go through a script that I did not want to hear.

The next one I ran into was in the Crystal City Underground. Same script, different guy. Told him I heard that before, but the Security Office is right by Hamburger Hamlet and I am sure they will help him.

He got pretty upset too and walked off. Saw him later going over his paperwork with some older guy at a table and I just shook my head as I walked by.

Also, when in Old Town, on King Street, Alexandria, don't miss the "pregnant" homeless woman, who has been "pregnant" for at least three years.

highnumber|4.4.07 @ 3:33PM|#

just another lurker,

You reminded me of a guy I was glad to give money to. I was out with the wife in a touristy part of town and were looking for a certain familiar place, but we couldn't remember exactly which block it was on. Some guy asked if he could hail us a cab, I said no, but you can direct me to Andy's. He pointed down the street (if we were any closer, we would have already been inside the joint!) I was tipsy and feeling generous, so I think I gave him $5. He then escorted us to the door and fended off the other guys who asked us for money. He was courteous and grateful. If I ever to need to hire a street valet, I'll go back to this guy.

|4.4.07 @ 3:35PM|#

What I find fascinating about the subject is how many career "bums" there are. I commuted from Grand Central to downtown on the 4/5/6 for years, and still remember the following regulars:

1) Woman in 30's who needed money to feed here children because her husband died/left her.

2) Blind guy with an accordian that was supported by a wheel.

3) Older lady in GCT who had an amazingly high pitched voiced saying repeatedly "Help me I'm hungry!"

4) A couple of different regulars from the UHO (?) who had the same spiel about "your quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies".

If you travel the 4/5/6, you know these people.

(Oh yeah, I too have no real point.)

highnumber|4.4.07 @ 3:37PM|#

Isn't the blind guy with the accordion a busker, not really a bum?

|4.4.07 @ 3:39PM|#

just another lurker,

In Midtown Manhattan I get the "I'm from Jersey/Philly, I need X to pay for a train ticket/to fix my car" appeal all the time, especially in Penn Station or Grand Central. Sometimes the men who make these appeals are wearing suits, making me suspect they are legit, but also wonder why these people don't have credit cards.

On the rare occasions that I have given such individuals money I quickly regret it, as the guy will immediately ask for more. While I was sitting in Grand Central once a guy came over with this scam, I gave him what he had asked for, 50 cents or whatever, he asked for more, I sent him on his way, and ten minutes later he was back, having, apparently, forgotten what I looked like, and started the spiel over again from the beginning.

I. Self. Divine.|4.4.07 @ 3:40PM|#

Back in high school, homeless guys that always hung around our hangout (Morningstar76 and Yesterdog, the coffee and hotdog places featured in American Pie) were the main way we got booze. No matter what time of the day it was, there was always at least one guy willing to buy a case of beer and a couple fifths. I always tipped them at least 2 or 3 bucks.

|4.4.07 @ 3:45PM|#

I also want to salute Bagge for having the balls to draw a cartoon battered woman.

Jon Bristow|4.4.07 @ 3:47PM|#

Isn't the blind guy with the accordion a busker, not really a bum?

Musicians... bums... what's the difference?

|4.4.07 @ 3:47PM|#

3) Older lady in GCT who had an amazingly high pitched voiced saying repeatedly "Help me I'm hungry!"


That was Cyndi Lauper, before she made her glorious "comeback".


I also want to salute Bagge for having the balls to draw a cartoon battered woman.


Yeah! Now there's a comedy genre waiting to be mined.

Egon|4.4.07 @ 3:48PM|#

Speaking of scams, I was filling my car at a busy tourist plaza gas station when a young guy approached with an empty gas can and gave me his spiel about needing to get somewhere and not having money, blah blah. I didn't particularly believe the story, but I was feeling generous and donated a couple bucks' worth of gas. He walked over to a not-old pickup truck (another guy was sitting in it) and put the gas in while we drove next door for coffee. Ten minutes later he was still standing there at the truck with the gas can upended. I'm sure he was waiting for the next wave of marks. I said, "Is it full yet?"

I have to admit, it's not a bad way to get a free trip.

|4.4.07 @ 4:07PM|#

Bagge's cartoons are like Cathy Young's writing. He presents different facets as if he's just a mere observer. There's a difference between fair and balanced (where two biased people trade insults) and objective presentation (i.e., somebody tells the whole story). Thanks bum drawer.

|4.4.07 @ 4:10PM|#

I once had a guy turn down my money. He did the "I need enough for a new (belt/spark plug/whatever)" bit and he wanted $10. I had exactly $1 on me, so I offered it to him. We walked away muttering, "that's not gonna help me."

It was just weird...

|4.4.07 @ 4:15PM|#

Amen Lamar, anytime Bagge writes a word in bold it is usually spot-on. He does a great job of letting his opinions lead his ideology, instead of the other way around.

Isn't the blind guy with the accordion a busker, not really a bum?
There is a line. You're clean-shaven and can play, you're a busker, but if you're dressed in rags and banging mindlessly on the top of a bucket (like this one guy I saw) you're homeless.

|4.4.07 @ 4:16PM|#

Musicians... bums... what's the difference?

Musicians have girlfriends.

VM|4.4.07 @ 4:24PM|#

Musicians... bums... what's the difference?

and drummers want to hang out with 'em.

|4.4.07 @ 4:27PM|#

...and bums are cleaner.

|4.4.07 @ 4:27PM|#

One of the main elements of American mythology is the idea that the impoverished either want to be that way or are that way because they're just lesser beings than the rest of us.

I guess that's supposed to keep us from feeling bad about it?

Blake Edwards...|4.4.07 @ 4:32PM|#

"highnumber | April 4, 2007, 3:37pm | #
Isn't the blind guy with the accordion a busker, not really a bum?"

Clouseau: 'e 'ad a minkee
Dryfus: a what? You said 'minkee'
C: a minkee. furthermore 'e was blind
D: you fool! HE WAS THE LOOKOUT!

|4.4.07 @ 4:34PM|#

I also want to salute Bagge for having the balls to draw a cartoon battered woman.

I don't know about balls, but the pencil-neck gay kid looked pretty funny.

|4.4.07 @ 4:43PM|#

" highnumber's blog "

Is highnumber's blog homeless? Is that why it's squatting at H&R? Shouldn't it be at the train station with a sign around its neck saying, "Will work for bandwidth"?

|4.4.07 @ 4:51PM|#

A musician without a girlfriend is HOMELESS!

|4.4.07 @ 4:51PM|#

This is completely off topic, but has anyone noticed that the people who draw the comics for Nickelodeon Magazine usually, outside of the magazine, creates comics that would most likely should be illegal to sell to kids? I know that Sam Henderson has been working on the rag for years.

|4.4.07 @ 5:11PM|#

at the exit off the interstate to the town where i went to college, there was a sign asking for help/money/food/etc. that was permanently tethered to the guardrail at the intersection. it was like a homeless courtesy to leave the sign there for the next person to pick up and use.

for some reason, i've always remembered that.

highnumber|4.4.07 @ 5:28PM|#

P Brooks,

Nah, I'd just blow the bandwidth on streaming video.

Rhywun|4.4.07 @ 5:34PM|#

don't miss the "pregnant" homeless woman, who has been "pregnant" for at least three years.

After college, I worked a hotel job in a seedy part of Buffalo. There was a woman pushing a baby carriage around the neighborhood, hitting up hotel guests for change. Needless to say, the baby in the baby carriage was not real.

2) Blind guy with an accordian that was supported by a wheel.

There are at least two of those. I saw one ply his trade on the N train for years and years.

My most vivid beggar moment was on the very day I moved to NYC ten years ago. I was travelling by subway to the dive-y hotel where I spent my first month or so when a legless man on a skateboard entered my car. At that time I began to have second thoughts about the whole NYC thing. But I never saw the skateboard dude again.

fyodor|4.4.07 @ 6:05PM|#

Okay, devil's advocate time.

My former roommate, a die-hard leftist and Francophile, claimed there were no more than a few hundred homeless people in Paris (and that they were embarrassed and scandalized by even that!). Naturally his unstated implication was that their system worked so much better.

Equally naturally, I'm skeptical at various levels, but I'm also open-minded. Could there be some truth to this factoid, and if so, its implied conclusion? Among the myriad possibilities, where is the primary flaw in his info and/or conclusion? And if you respond with only a snark, I'll conclude you cannot come up with one.

|4.4.07 @ 6:50PM|#

My former roommate, a die-hard leftist and Francophile, claimed there were no more than a few hundred homeless people in Paris (and that they were embarrassed and scandalized by even that!).

What, you think they give the good meat to the tourists?

edna|4.4.07 @ 6:57PM|#

Could there be some truth to this factoid, and if so, its implied conclusion?

as a devout francophile, francophone, and regular (4-5x per year) visitor there, i can assuredly say, "bullshit."

|4.4.07 @ 6:59PM|#

More seriously, that's a really good piece.

|4.4.07 @ 7:19PM|#

fyodor, Google says Paris is home to ten to fifteen thousand 'sans domicile fixe.' Your former (now homeless?) roommate is mistaken.

Asharak|4.4.07 @ 7:50PM|#

Interesting and thought-provoking cartoon. I take issue with viewing all mentally ill homeless in an unsympathetic light, though.

Guy Montag|4.4.07 @ 8:04PM|#

as a devout francophile, francophone, and regular (4-5x per year) visitor there, i can assuredly say, "bullshit."

I love your proper usage of the lower case f.

|4.4.07 @ 8:11PM|#

Beggars are a public nuisance. This is an issue where I'm something of a statist because I don't see why ordinary citizens should have to put up with being accosted by bums and I don't see a solution except for the worst cases to be forcibly taken off the streets. Put them in housing where they're forced to keep clean and sober. Give them some minimal tasks to occupy them and make them at least slightly productive.

|4.4.07 @ 8:13PM|#

Is there a -- I don't know -- a "Bombs, not Food" organization I could join?

highnumber|4.4.07 @ 8:20PM|#

green mamba,

Right on! Along the same lines I don't see why ordinary citizens should have to put up with people who need showers or smell like onions, either. I don't see any solution but to take the worst offenders off the street or out of the office and give 'em a good hosing down and scrub 'em with soap. Make 'em smell at least slightly fresh.

Grotius|4.4.07 @ 8:41PM|#

fyodor,

There are lots of homeless people in Paris. Somewhere between ~5,000-15,000 I would estimate.

Grotius|4.4.07 @ 8:44PM|#

fyodor,

Indeed, you can find tent "cities" in Paris where homeless people are camped out.

Dave B.|4.4.07 @ 8:58PM|#

Even if there weren't a lot of homeless people in Paris, it could have been because they move them out of the city, like New York City does.

|4.4.07 @ 9:05PM|#

Is there a -- I don't know -- a "Bombs, not Food" organization I could join?
I'll sign up! We could run through parks stealing food from homeless people.

edna|4.4.07 @ 9:08PM|#

I love your proper usage of the lower case f.

no choice in the matter; i lost my little fingers in a tragic accident and received the e.e. cummings treatment. i await the use of stem cells to regrow my erstwhile digits.

jb|4.4.07 @ 9:10PM|#

There's a couple regular homeless people who frequent the sidewalk around a grocery store where I live. I buy them apples. They eat them. I have no idea what they do with the money people give them, or the rest of their time, but they're polite and don't hock my apples for drugs.

Personally, I wouldn't care if they did. I give to the homeless because encouraging that part of me that pities, rather than despises, a bad-smelling, unshaven guy in dirty, torn, clothing makes me a nicer person in general. I don't give them much because that allows me to take my niceness and donate more to organizations that actually help.

Guy Montag|4.4.07 @ 10:09PM|#

Indeed, you can find tent "cities" in Paris where homeless people are camped out.

They are not homeless, they are just mansionless.

highnumber|4.4.07 @ 10:21PM|#

jb,

I know you said that they don't trade the apples for drugs, but (Personally, I wouldn't care if they did.) if you did give people apples that they hocked for crack, most likely you would not be helping them at all by your action. (I don't know, but I assume that crack habits aren't good fer ya.) Encouraging the pitying part of you to their detriment sounds kind of selfish.
I'm not against helping the less fortunate or being kind to others, but what passes for kindness is sometimes not, in the larger analysis.

|4.5.07 @ 1:17AM|#

Funny, the other day at a freeway offramp, there was a 40ish white guy, fairly clean and decent looking, with a sign hitting up drivers for a buck. About 10 feet away from him was a Mexican busting his ass selling oranges and strawberries from a shopping cart. I got the distinct feeling beggar collections were down that day.

Oh my God - he took his job! :D

|4.5.07 @ 1:37AM|#

Isn't the blind guy with the accordion a busker, not really a bum?

Any Michiganders here? The joke when I was in Ann Arbor was that Shakey Jake (guitar "playing" "bum/busker") secretly owned a condo in Florida.

Then again, he might have just as easily froze to death in a Michigan winter by now. Moral of the story? Don't joke about the homeless. Write serious stories that people know are seriously researched, but cartoons with jokes come off as calloused. Just one of those "why don't libertarians communicate better with the outside world" things.

|4.5.07 @ 2:27AM|#

You bet I'm calloused! It helps me grip golf clubs.

|4.5.07 @ 3:39AM|#

I'm not sure Bagge's taking a libertarian slant on this - my conclusion after reading his piece is that the only real solution to homelessness is basically to return to the 1950s and 60s where we institutionalized these people. It seemed inhumane at the time, but letting everyone walk free has hardly proved to be a better answer. Unfortunately neither the Right ("I'm not paying my tax money to house these people") nor the Left ("these misunderstood homeless people need their dignity and an indepedent life") seem to agree.

Wayback machine|4.5.07 @ 3:57AM|#

I never saw the skateboard dude again.

That was Stumpy, in the 1970s (OMG).

Guy Montag|4.5.07 @ 7:29AM|#

I'm not sure Bagge's taking a libertarian slant on this - my conclusion after reading his piece is that the only real solution to homelessness is basically to return to the 1950s and 60s where we institutionalized these people. It seemed inhumane at the time, but letting everyone walk free has hardly proved to be a better answer.

Yes, and somehow the closing of the "gulags" (as they were called by the Left) was blamed on Ronald Reagan, when a Democrat Congress cut off federal funding for them, urged on by that crackpot with the hard-to-spell name that begins with S. He also got States to defund their 'gulags' too.

Another triumph of the Left!

|4.5.07 @ 9:49AM|#

There was a well-known "homeless" person here in Alexandria that died around a year ago. A big rastafarian looking dude.
I had heard through a local social worker that the guy had been receiving disability checks for some time and was a vet who could receive VA benefits if he had wanted. Apparently he had a representative payee who had a big pile of cash for him. Still, he just hung out outside the Chipotle all day.
I asked why, if he had money, he bummed change all day and the SW answered "Look at him sometime, he isn't bumming at all. People just give him money". I did watch once. He was right.

|4.5.07 @ 3:22PM|#

Bagge Rules!

|4.5.07 @ 3:23PM|#

Awesome, Bagge.

I had the weirdest panhandler experience last week. This guy came up to me, launched into his pitch, and told me that he needed money so he could get back to Evanston, IL, and that he'd been walking around the city for two days.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that seeing as we were in downtown Chicago, one days' walking would have gotten him to Evanston.