Mr. President, Can I Have A Hall Pass?

David Weigel | March 30, 2007

These poll questions, via Chris Bowers, simply rule:

Q21. Which of the presidential candidates would...

A) Make the best high school principal?
Clinton: 20%
Giuliani: 16%
Obama: 14%
McCain: 9%
Gore: 8%
Edwards: 6%
Gingrich: 4%
Romney: 2%
Biden: 1%
Huckabee: 1%
Other / Unsure: 19%

B) Be the best contestant on dancing with the stars:
Clinton: 19%
Obama: 18%
Edwards: 9%
Giuliani: 9%
Gore: 6%
Romney: 2%
Gingrich: 2%
McCain: 1%
Biden: 1%
Other / Unsure: 31%

C) You trust the most to babysit your children or children you know:
Clinton: 21%
Edwards: 12%
McCain: 9%
Obama: 8%
Giuliani: 7%
Gore: 6%
Romney: 6%
Gingrich: 3%
Brownback: 1%
Other / Unsure: 28%

As Bowers points out, people seem to want to watch Obama dance but won't let him near their kids. Hey, he is black!

The true answers to these questions are:

Best high school principal: Ron Paul. Show up in class, don't get pregnant, and otherwise do your thing. Will the security guards stop you from toking up in the boys' room? Of course not - the Constitution doesn't allow for security guards!

Best contender on Dancing With the Stars: It's a contest where you need to change styles and pretend that you're an expert at every one? Obviously, Mitt Romney.

Best babysitter: Obama'll have the best bedtime stories, but Giuliani will be the best disciplinarian. Two words: toilet plungers.