Of Journalists, Vampires, and Cattle-Geeks I Sing

Jesse Walker | March 9, 2007

In a letter to Jim Romenesko's media news site, longtime Reason writer Glenn Garvin argues (*) that Kolchak: The Night Stalker was TV's greatest portrait of journalism in action:

Darren McGavin played reporter Carl Kolchak, who week after week busted his butt on investigative pieces uncovering rings of vampires, werewolves and zombies, only to have every single one spiked by his craven, lickspittle editors. Fierce pressure from ASNE and other special-interest lobbies got the show shut down after a single season, and ever since, vampires and their slavering editorial quislings have gotten a free pass from Hollywood.

On a related note, Ananova is claiming (**) that a team of vampire hunters in Serbia has

rammed a wooden stake through the heart of former dictator Slobodan Milosevic to stop him 'returning from the dead'.

Miroslav Milosevic, no relation to the former president, gave himself up to police who have launched an investigation.

He claimed he and his fellow vampire hunters acted to stop the former dictator returning from the dead to haunt the country.

On an unrelated note (***), Agence France-Press (****) says a calf in Chandpur has turned carnivorous, with Indians flocking by the hundreds to watch it eat live chicks. Local experts offer two rival explanations: "I think the calf is suffering from pika" and "I guess the calf was a tiger in his previous birth." Kolchak would've known which angle to pursue.

* In terms strikingly similar to the ones he deploys in his internal editorial emails.

** Caveat: Articles in Ananova have been known to fall short of full scientific proof.

*** But it seems to fit.

**** Usually more reliable than Ananova.

Comments

Chris Howell|3.9.07 @ 3:28PM|#

There sure seems to be a lot of hand wringing over there at Romenesko's Media News. All the newspaper reporters are sure that newspapers are going out of business. They can't really decide if bloggers are journalists. I mean, Romenesko isn't sure that TV news is journalism.

I have a bachelor's degree in journalism from Ohio State University, I blog, but I don't work for the MSM. Does that make me a "journalist" who would be afforded first amendment protection?

|3.9.07 @ 3:45PM|#

Hmm, tough one, Chris.

Tell me this: how much do you drink?

|3.9.07 @ 3:56PM|#

Apparently it's not entirely unheard of for hooved hervivores to occasionally eat birds. Google the following:

deer eating bird

I think I've even seen a video of this on YouTube.

I favor the nutrient-deficiency explanation.

|3.9.07 @ 3:59PM|#

I sent H&R a note about the Slobo thing on Tuesday, with a link from The Register.

http://www.theregister.com/2007/03/06/milosevic_staked/

|3.9.07 @ 4:15PM|#

I have a bachelor's degree in journalism from Ohio State University

THE Ohio State University.

(Haaaaaaang on Sloopy, Sloopy hang on)

|3.9.07 @ 4:31PM|#

Hmm, tough one, Chris.

Tell me this: how much do you drink?

I think you have to curse and chainsmoke too.

|3.9.07 @ 4:36PM|#

THE Ohio State University. - Warty

What is it with the Buckeye fixation on the definite article? Are they afraid their school will be confused with Ohio University or Miami, which are both senior to Columbus?

I'm so libertarian, the only Big T1e1n school I could stomach rooting for is Northwestern. :)

Kevin

mediageek|3.9.07 @ 4:41PM|#

Chainsmoking's optional, but swearing isn't.

|3.9.07 @ 4:44PM|#

The Toreador and the Brujah ghouls are the journalists, but the Ventrue ghouls are the editors.

The Masquerade will not fall again.

|3.9.07 @ 4:44PM|#

Yes, they are obsessed with "The" up in Columbus. I'm a former employee of the university, and I can tell you that they're positively rabid about definite articles.

I wonder if the "The" thing has become even more important, given UF's prime time humiliation of Ohio State? Hmmm.

|3.9.07 @ 4:57PM|#

eat mor chiken

|3.9.07 @ 4:59PM|#

I like the thought of the calf's pen in Chandpur having a coin-op machine that dispenses live chicks, so visitors can feed the calf, like at a petting zoo.

I'll keep an eye out for fowl-fed beef at my local supermarket.

|3.9.07 @ 5:37PM|#

Pro-Libertate,

It's THE George Washington University.

I wonder if that has anything to do with pepetually being confused with Georgetown?

mediageek|3.9.07 @ 5:37PM|#

You know, once a cow gets a taste for blood, there's no going back.

|3.9.07 @ 5:40PM|#

...Ventrue ghouls are the editors.

But Lasombre ghouls are the publishers.

Timothy|3.9.07 @ 5:41PM|#

And we'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes!

Patrick Pricken|3.9.07 @ 6:01PM|#

There's even more! The European Song Contest features a Swiss performing singing about vampires, and yes, a Christian party is petitioning the Swiss parliament to either force him to change the lyrics or stop him from singing:

http://tinyurl.com/375ryd

|3.9.07 @ 6:22PM|#

from this day forward I can not ever bring myself to refer to it as "chokin the chicken"

|3.9.07 @ 7:42PM|#

Karl! You've been under a lot of stress lately, just go home, lie down, and have a rest...

...NO WE ARE NOT RUNNING THE STORY ABOUT THE FORMER DICTATOR OF SERBIA BEING A VAMPIRE! DIDN'T YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON IN LAS VEGAS!

Updike! Where is my ulcer medicine?

Jeff P.|3.9.07 @ 8:50PM|#

Fade up.

Typewriter sound FX.

"March 3rd: Miroslav Milosevic and a band of self-professed 'vampire hunters' visited the grave of their former dictator in the dead of night with the intention of digging him up and driving a stake through him to insure that he would not return from the dead.
Little did they know they were about to learn the true meaning of the phrase 'crimes against humanity.'"

Crouchback|3.9.07 @ 9:11PM|#

The juxtaposition of the story about the staking of the dread vampire Milosevic and the flesh-eating cow makes me remember the vampire cow which once gave Howard the Duck trouble.

Someone needs to notify Frank Drake and Blade that they are needed in India, again!

Jeff P|3.9.07 @ 11:41PM|#

Crouchback: Hellcow rocked!
I remember reading that issue of Giant Sized Man Thing and my father laughing when he saw the title. It took me years to figure out why.

|3.10.07 @ 7:20AM|#

once a cow gets a taste for blood

Yep, and once you go quack...

|3.10.07 @ 4:45PM|#

What is it with the Buckeye fixation on the definite article? Are they afraid their school will be confused with Ohio University or Miami, which are both senior to Columbus?

It pisses people off, therefore it's fun.

Robert Stacy McCain|3.11.07 @ 1:29AM|#

Coincidentally enough, I saw a werewolf just the other night, drinking a PBR at The Raven. But his hair wasn't perfect. He was saying something about Tootsie Rolls and "values voters."

D.A. Ridgely|3.11.07 @ 1:41PM|#

This goes a long way to explaining why there's no free press in Serbia.

(BTW, no one confuses GWU with Georgetown.)