Wednesday Fun Link: Kansas Outlaws Practice of Evolution

Ronald Bailey | November 29, 2006

From that invaluable resource of humor in these dark times, The Onion:

TOPEKA, KS—In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.  

Lawmakers decried spontaneous genetic mutations.  "From now on, the streets, forests, plains, and rivers of Kansas will be safe from the godless practice of evolution, and species will be able to procreate without deviating from God's intended design," said Bob Bethell, a member of the state House of Representatives. "This is about protecting the integrity of all creation."

The new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from any willful adaptation to changing environmental conditions. In addition, it strictly limits any activity that may result in enhanced health or survival beyond the current average lifespan of their particular species...

To enforce the law, Kansas state police will be trained to investigate and apprehend organisms who exhibit suspected signs of evolutionary behavior, such as natural selection or speciation. Plans are underway to track and monitor DNA strands in every Kansan life form for even the slightest change in allele frequencies.

Whole hilarious article here.

Comments

Egon|11.29.06 @ 11:04AM|#

Stop trying to ram your "science" down my throat. (I borrowed that handy mantra from godless heathens.)

Timothy|11.29.06 @ 11:09AM|#

The new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from any willful adaptation to changing environmental conditions.

Oh, they've only outlawed Lamarckian evolution, we're cool.

thoreau|11.29.06 @ 11:14AM|#

Is genetic engineering still allowed? Because that's a type of intelligent design.

|11.29.06 @ 11:48AM|#

Can we spontaneously generate?

|11.29.06 @ 12:11PM|#

I'd wager money that if this actually went on a ballot in that state, it might not pass, but it would at least be close.

|11.29.06 @ 7:14PM|#

Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution...

I'm sure Sam Brownback approves...

Sam Grove|11.29.06 @ 7:33PM|#

Wasn't there once a politician who tried to legally round off pi?

|11.29.06 @ 8:03PM|#

The new law prohibits all living beings within state borders from any willful adaptation to changing environmental conditions.

Any chance for an amendment that would recognize organisms whose evolutionary adaptations occured while living in another state where evolution was legal?

|11.29.06 @ 9:52PM|#

RE: evolution

Evolution Rocks!
http://beepbeepitsme.blogspot.com/2006/11/evolution-rocks.html

|11.29.06 @ 11:14PM|#

I got multiple emails (well two of em-that's multiple) telling me since this is a Fun Link, even though it's not a Friday Fun Link, I should do a Gratuitous New Wave Link...Well ok! Here are those minstrels of devolution...OH NO IT'S: !DEVO! And this is the most on topic New Wave vid so far-JOCKO HOMO!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0q0dL01c78

And here's GIRL U WANT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzuoJ5cK0O8

(If the vids don't work, try em again. U tube has been a little inconsistent today)

|11.29.06 @ 11:18PM|#

Are we not men?

|11.29.06 @ 11:38PM|#

Sometimes I have to try the vids a couple few times to get em to work. Is this Google's fault? Have they messed up U Tube since they acquired it? Is the government attacking U Tube? What ever, these vids are worth it.

|11.30.06 @ 7:36PM|#

I said; are we not men?

|12.1.06 @ 1:05AM|#

Will no one respond?