O, Christmas Tree! O, Illegal Immigrants that Help You Grow Straight and Tall!

Nick Gillespie | November 14, 2006

So what kind of crap is the lame-duck Congress contemplatin' this holiday season? Stuff like House Joint Resolution 96, which recognizes the "contributions of the Christmas tree industry" to the well-being of these United States.

The resolution was introduced by Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.) and concludes after a long litany of industry-loving chestnuts:

...be it

Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That Congress--

(1) recognizes the important contributions of the live-cut Christmas tree industry, Christmas tree growers, and persons employed in the live-cut Christmas tree industry to the United States economy; and

(2) urges the Secretary of Agriculture to establish programs to raise awareness of the importance of the live-cut Christmas tree industry.

Whole text here.

I'll back that resolution the minute that Congress recognizes the important contribution of illegal immigrants to the growing, harvesting, and bringing-to-market of Christmas trees and other agricultural products. Reason did that last year, in this masterful story about "America's Criminal Immigration Policy" that punishes hard work and splinters families. For an op-ed version of the Christmas tree story, read here.

Comments

|11.14.06 @ 3:28PM|#

It's the subtle machinations of the Druid Lobby, once again.

|11.14.06 @ 3:36PM|#

I did a GIS on "Virginia Foxx" hoping to see some porn star turned legislator. Government disappoints me again.

|11.14.06 @ 3:41PM|#

Again,

Well, porn stars get old, too.

|11.14.06 @ 3:43PM|#

Could it be that the war on illegal immigration is actually a part of the war on Christmas?

|11.14.06 @ 4:43PM|#

Yeah its Jesus's birthday lets go kill 20 million trees. Gives new meaning to the term tree hugger.

As for my tree if I get one I usually go cut it down at the local farm without any illegal aliens as far as the eye can see. Strangely enough they all grow in rows and straight upright even without any magical illegal intervention.

If your already in the US illegally you obviously don't care about no stinkin laws (not that I love laws myself mind you) so why not grow a real cash crop that reaps you a lot more than $40 per tree and is ready for a new harvest every year on the same amount of land. None of this waiting around for 3-5 years or longer until its big enough to cut. :)

Whats funny about this is that the states most likely to outlaw christmas are also the ones most likely to embrace the illegals. So what then will they grow if not for christmas?

It would be interesting to see a statistic on which is responsible for the most deaths. The better cash crops that are smoked or the christmas tree crop that ends up burning down several homes and killing families every year.

I think a Federal Grant is in order for this most important of public safety issues.

thoreau|11.14.06 @ 4:44PM|#

Dee, you sure burned a lot of straw in that comment.

Larry A|11.14.06 @ 4:47PM|#

why not grow a real cash crop that reaps you a lot more than $40 per tree and is ready for a new harvest every year on the same amount of land.

See "War on Drugs"

|11.14.06 @ 5:14PM|#

I'd like my representative in Congress to recognize the importance of me to the economy...and to tell an agency to create programs to raise your awareness of my importance...and to spend your money doing it!

lunchstealer|11.14.06 @ 5:16PM|#

As for my tree if I get one I usually go cut it down at the local farm without any illegal aliens as far as the eye can see. Strangely enough they all grow in rows and straight upright even without any magical illegal intervention.

Well, they do tend to hide the brown folk once the paying customers come out. No guarantee that they don't have the Mexican Tannenbaum Fairies flitting about at night and during the summer months carefully tending the Tannenbaum crops.

|11.14.06 @ 5:28PM|#

Dee, you sure burned a lot of straw in that comment.

I have a favorite:

Whats funny about this is that the states most likely to outlaw christmas are also the ones most likely to embrace the illegals. So what then will they grow if not for christmas?

|11.14.06 @ 7:03PM|#

gaijin - Here at Hit and Run, everybody is aware of your importance to the economy. I hope that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling.

|11.14.06 @ 10:35PM|#

Remember all those houses with campaign signs for the Santorum's?

That nice spruce tree in their front yard is totally yours this holiday season.

dagny|11.15.06 @ 9:30AM|#

It's the subtle machinations of the Druid Lobby, once again.

Can they come convince the WoW developers to give cat form some better DPS now?

Dr. BLT|11.20.06 @ 1:02AM|#

That reminds me of a song I wrote that's got people puzzled. They don't know if it's a satire, or if I'm some kind of right-wing nut.

You'll all have to decide for yourself:

Christmas Tree Hugger
Dr. BLT featuring Walter Stormont
words and music by Dr. BLT (c) 2006
http://www.drblt.net/music/xmashugger.mp3