Breast Implants Save Lives!

Jesse Walker | October 5, 2006

A new variation on the old "that bullet would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for that Bible" story:

A Bulgarian car crash victim was saved by her huge breast implants -- which acted as airbags to absorb the impact....

A police expert explained that the 40DD silicone implants "absorbed the impact of the crash".

He added: "They worked just like airbags -- protecting the victim's ribs and vital organs from damage.

"However they are not as safe as the real thing because they exploded, which airbags are not supposed to do."

I must admit I initially misunderstood what he meant by "the real thing."

Comments

|10.5.06 @ 9:40AM|#

Great stuff, I knew there those things were beneficial to the female somehow or other, im gonna show this to my girlfriend.







Go-go MALE-PATRIARCHAL-CONSPIRACY-TO-OBJECTIFY-AND-KEEP-THE-WOMYN-DOWN..............

|10.5.06 @ 9:56AM|#

90% of boob jobs look like shit. You would think that with all the time and money plastic surgeons had to perfect this "art", that they could make them look half-way real.

Instead, they look like grapefruit stuffed in socks.

|10.5.06 @ 10:11AM|#

I heard a similar story about Playboy model Petra Verkaik, except she's completely natural. And didn't explode.

|10.5.06 @ 10:12AM|#

90% of boob jobs look like shit. You would think that with all the time and money plastic surgeons had to perfect this "art", that they could make them look half-way real.

Instead, they look like grapefruit stuffed in socks.

Agreed, but that because most of the boob jobs you see are the cheaper variety. They are trying to get the biggest bang for the buck. So they end up stuffing as big of a rack in there as possible, stretching the skin and making it look like that.

The good boob jobs on the other hand usually arent 40DD, the procedure is usualy used improve the size as well as the shape, and the droopiness. And that why you dont actually see good boob jobs, they look natural enough that you can dismiss them as real, while the cheap-stripper-mountains just jump out at you so much more. As with anything, you get what you pay for.

If its trully the big size you are looking for, in recent years the introduced the adjustable bags, where you can go in and fill the saline bag progressively more and more with a slight surgical procedure. That allows the boob to grow progressively and skin has time to catch up. Obviously if you get 40DD they will look fake no matter what but this approach nets more natural looking boobs.

Larry A|10.5.06 @ 10:35AM|#

Val, are you a plastic surgeon or is this field research?

BakedPenguin|10.5.06 @ 10:53AM|#

I went out for a short while with a Russian woman who was about that size naturally. This would be good news for her because she was the worst driver I've ever seen.

|10.5.06 @ 10:56AM|#

Val, are you a plastic surgeon or is this field research?

heh, in this field of research sort to speak ....anybody up for 99cent lunch and topic demonstrations at the local research facility??

nah I remeber looking some of this info up once for some odd reason.

|10.5.06 @ 1:25PM|#

can we stop with the fake stories from ananova.com please.

|10.5.06 @ 3:10PM|#

Yet another story in the plastic surgeon saves life via breast implant variety.

Just like in the 80's Diet Coke ran a scam ad campaign (my opinion) called just for the tase of it that allowed dieters to drink it without admitting they are dieting, women can now say they aren't getting implants for self esteem or to get laid more. Now they can say they are getting them because they are life savers.

Or something like that.