The Best Murder Defense of 2006

Jesse Walker | September 18, 2006

...comes to us from the spam capital of the globe:

A Nigerian murder suspect accused of killing his brother with an axe told police investigators he actually attacked a goat, which was only later magically transformed into his sibling's corpse, officials said Thursday....

Murder suspects in Nigeria, where many people believe in black magic, sometimes claim spirits tricked them into killing.

In civilized America, he'd tell the same story. But we'd call it an insanity defense, and he'd probably stand a better chance of getting off.

Comments

|9.18.06 @ 3:47PM|#

You missed the best part...

"In 2001, eight people were burned to death after one person in their group was accused of making a bystander's penis magically disappear."

|9.18.06 @ 3:53PM|#

Is this what they mean by "getting one's goat?"

|9.18.06 @ 3:55PM|#

Haven't we all gone to sleep with a beautful partner, had wonderful sex, then woken up to a transmogrified goat?

Jeremy Mahler|9.18.06 @ 3:58PM|#

Just plain ol' wow...

I don't know what's stranger - the idea that a goat transformed into his sibling or that I have been rendered nearly speechless by the absurdity...

Wasn't there a Buffy ep about this?

|9.18.06 @ 4:13PM|#

But why is it that you never hear of someone killing a human only to have them magically transform into a tasty plate of pork chops?

|9.18.06 @ 4:43PM|#

The news articles from Nigeria and other places are far more imaginative than most of what is in the National Enquirer, and laughable until you realize that some people actually believe in and act upon the events described in these articles.

|9.18.06 @ 4:55PM|#

scape

Obviously you have never looked at the headlines on the tabloids at the supermarket checkout.

|9.18.06 @ 5:09PM|#

Was AG Gonzalez doing some pro bono work??

|9.18.06 @ 5:43PM|#

Wouldn't it just have been easier to say it was god's will because his brother became a non-believer. If he phrased it right, he could have both Pat Robertson and Osama bin Laden on his side.

|9.18.06 @ 7:53PM|#

I remember when Hillary claimed that those "lost" billing records just kind of appeared on her desk.

|9.18.06 @ 8:04PM|#

And to think that His Popeness was recently chastising the west because our secular rationality is seen as threatening by the faithful who live in the 3rd world!

|9.18.06 @ 8:31PM|#

Haven't we all gone to sleep with a beautful partner, had wonderful sex, then woken up to a transmogrified goat?

Comment by: Lamar at September 18, 2006 03:55 PM

not me, but to be fair, I don't drink alcohol

|9.18.06 @ 11:32PM|#

Wasn't it David Lee Roth who said that his ideal woman would make love to him until 3:00 in the morning, then turn into a pizza?

Or something like that.

|9.18.06 @ 11:48PM|#

itz possibel that thare arr sum hi-lee adept shamanick sorcerers in africka hoo can werk some hardcore magick.

|9.19.06 @ 10:19AM|#

According to Euripides (I think), this has been happening for millenia: Ajax fell for this one after the fall of Troy, I think. Of course, Ajax killed himself afterwards, so it is a bit more believable.