...so I'd better move to Bergen County, NJ, and become Asian-American. Failing racial transformation, my best bet is to become a low-income resident of rural South Dakota.

A new study out from the online journal of the Public Library of Science has some unexpected findings on longevity. Race remains relevant (blacks and Indians are the shortest-lived), but income is less important than conventional wisdom holds. And three biggest predictors of longevity?: Location, location, location.

Here's the lineup:
1) Asian Americans, average per capita income of $21,566, have a life expectancy of 84.9 years.
2) Northland low-income rural white people, $17,758, 79 years.
3) Middle America (mostly white), $24,640, 77.9 years.
4) Low-income white people in Appalachia, Mississippi Valley, $16,390, 75 years.
5) Black Middle America, $15,412, 72.9 years.
6) Western American Indians, $10,029, 72.7 years.
7) Southern low-income rural black people, $10,463, 71.2 years.
8) High-risk urban black people, $14,800, 71.1 years.

Other interesting tidbits:

* American Indians who don't live on or near reservations in the West have life expectancies similar to that of white people.

* Lack of health insurance wasn't a powerful factor, it explained only a small portion of differences observed

* Longevity gaps have been about the same for the last 20 years, despite increased focus on race-related health problems and numerous government programs designed to better insure minorities.

Check out Ron Bailey on other options for gaining eternal life here, here, and here.